Morning came all too quickly for the vampire allergic to sunlight. His eyes opened to voices all around him surrounding a hospital bed. Wesley was sitting on the corner, while Gunn and Lorne dressed like Sherlock Holmes stood in the corner and Fred was missing at the moment. Angel sat up straight and rubbed his eyes out of sleepiness.
"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to wake up."
"You look ridiculous." Was all he had to say to Lorne, smirking under his breath.
"Hey, that's not as bad as the time you were the tourist going to San Marino." She said, offering him a faint smile as she just stared at her stomach. Fred walked in then with a tray full of coffee, bagels, donuts and anything else she could find to fulfill both hers and Cordelia's appetites.
"Morning Angel. Here ya go Cordy. Fellas." Fred handed over the donuts to Gunn, the bagel to Lorne, and the coffees to Angel and Wesley. The rest of the food on the tray went to her and Cordelia, which consisted of M & M's, a Milky Way, a tiny container of Pringles and a small pack of Wrigley's gum.
"Is that what the doctor prescribed?" Angel asked, drinking on his hot cup of coffee.
"No, but it's what the physicist prescribed. Chocolate and sugar cures anything. It's a girl thing Angel, you wouldn't understand." Fred said, popping a handful of M & M's in her mouth as Cordelia unwrapped the Milky Way and inserted it into her mouth.
"Yes, chocolate is best." She muffled with her mouth full of it. Angel could only laugh. There she was, his best friend, his Cordelia, the one who just lost a baby last night and was being comforted by the amazing miracle of chocolate and Fred's nerdiness. He thought the pregnancy was going to take work, but this was going to be harder. He could tell she wasn't okay. Her tearful eyes, trembling chin, and her silent plea to the Powers. How the hell could they do this? Take away something that made all of them happy, well almost happy. How?
Cordelia sat in the rocking chair in the fully furnished nursery and rocked herself into bitter silence, holding onto an oversized teddy bear that Wes bought for the baby to be. Too bad the baby wouldn't ever get to see it, touch it or hug it. Clutching it closer to her body, she closed her eyes and tried to imagine something else, anything else. But she kept seeing was a baby, squirming and giggling at her, pleading her to come and pick him or her up. Trouble was, she couldn't. She couldn't even bring herself to look Angel straight in the eyes anymore. She couldn't talk about it, didn't want to talk about it but it was eating her up inside, like a termite gnawing on an old oak tree in the forest somewhere. It could take the termite a long time to gnaw through it and with her and this baby issue, it would take ten times as long. Some part of her hoped this would kind of be Angel's chance to become a father again after Holtz stole Connor and deprived Angel of his future. When Connor was here, Angel was happy. And she liked the almost-perfectly-happy Angel, it looked good on him. Cordelia glanced around the room again, looking at all the diapers that would go to waste and the crib liner. It was a soft green with bubbles, balloons, and teddy bears on it. It was the most precious thing that she had ever seen. What were they going to do with this room now? It was just going to sit here and do nothing. They could change it into Dennis' room, but then what would they actually put in it? She didn't know what Dennis was like when he wasn't a ghost. All she really knew about him was that he loved her, freaky life with Angel and all and she loved him for the way he treated a lady, whether it be her, Anne, Virginia or Fred, the only girls that she had had in her apartment since she got it. Of course, he had a preference for her but that was only because she lived there and she let him have his go on the television every night after Friends. The quilt moved up her legs slightly as she felt Dennis taking care of her again.
"What would I do without you Dennis?" She whispered into the dark room, still trying to rock all the pain away. It would probably never go away. She started to look too much into the future then, imagining herself in two, three, five years down the line. Where would she be? Still in the hotel with Angel? In Paris finishing out the last part of filming on her blockbuster hit? Or would she be back in Sunnydale, picking up the pieces of her broken heart that some pieces were still in Xander's hands? Or maybe by some chance, she would have a family...a full-fledged family with human Angel by her side, running after two little kids in the courtyard in broad daylight. She liked the sound of that, it even brought a dim smile to her face. Then the music came on, thanks again to Dennis. It was soft, ballet-esque music that soothed her ears and lessened the hurt and bitterness she held safely behind a closed door in her heart. The ballet. It made her think of the ballet, how she enjoyed that night. Especially the role-playing adventure Angel and she went on. It was them, through and through, just in some other spirits bodies. She loved him, the ballet dancer did. Just like Cordelia loved Angel. In the dark nursery that would remain vacant for a while, she admitted the truth to herself. Well, one of the truths that had been weighing on her heart. She closed her eyes again, listening to the music, imagining the night that changed her life.