Angel leaned on the door frame, staring up at the stairs in the direction of Cordelia and his rooms. He was lonely. She was in the same house as him every day, saw her every day for the past two weeks, imagined her touch and scent every night in his dreams, yet he was lonely. She had been very quiet since the procedure. Maybe a little too quiet for his liking. It was like they had completely switched rolls. It was him who was attempting the conversations between them, stuttering and making rational observations, while she remained silent, like he used to do. He missed her. Wesley and Fred were at the desk in the office and Gunn was sitting just opposite of them, playing on his game boy, like he seemed to do almost every day and at every opportune moment. They hadn't had a case in weeks, unless you wanted to call the disappearing client a case. She had come in looking for something then when everyone blinked, she was gone. Poof! Into thin air. It was still a mystery to everyone, but no one seemed to be researching the whereabouts of the client or seemed to care. They were all concerned about Cordelia. Everything seemed to center around her nowadays. She was what kept all of them together, the glue that held the glitter to the construction paper. Lorne had even attempted to get to her, but with no prevail. He had tried as well, talking about things of the world, what movies were playing at the Cineplex, but she wasn't interested. The words just went in ear and out the other. Ever since they came home from the hospital, it was lonely, and quiet. Too quiet. Way too quiet. He had mentioned calling her grandmother, but she completely dismissed the idea not wanting to see anyone right now and claiming that 'she's not my grandmother' bit that she hadn't used in a while. Damn her wishes! He was calling her and even if he got the death glare and the threats from her sweet mouth that came with the territory, she needed Gretchen. Lord knows that her mother wasn't coming, wherever she was and Fred, well, Fred wasn't the mother figure that she needed. She needed Gretchen. Retreating his steps he found the other three staring at him, probably wondering why he wasn't up there, comforting her or something like that.

"Where's Lorne today?" He quickly changed the subject, commenting on Lorne's whereabouts because he hadn't seen his friend in a while.

"Reopening the club, didn't you know that?"

"Reopening the club? Are we invited?" Angel asked, taking a seat across from Gunn after throwing his legs off of the cushion.

"That would be a no, uh, no and hell no." Gunn said as Angel looked at him. "Hey, straight from the horses mouth." Gunn raised his hand to shield himself from the retort that Angel was cooking up.

"I don't blame him. I mean, you guys did wreck his club numerous times."

"You guys? You were there too Fred." Gunn argued with her.

"Hey I was new. I wasn't the one whose old gang nearly blew Lorne's head off." She argued back. That was the start of another fight, the ones that they were famous for. Usually Cordelia would get right in there and send them to separate corners, like she did with Wes and Gunn.

"Children!" Angel yelled over their voices and eyed them both as the quieted down. "Now, for what I came back in here for. I was thinking..."

"Oh Lord..."

"Shut up Wesley and listen. I think we need to call Gretchen." Angel folded his hands and leaned in forward emphasizing the whole statement.

"But..." Fred started to speak up in defense of Cordelia, but then shut up again, probably realizing that calling Gretchen wasn't such a bad idea.

"She needs her, even though she says she doesn't."

"What about her mom?" Gunn asked, not knowing about the situation. Angel looked over to Wesley to take this one.

"Her mother and her are not what you call close, Charles. Her father is in jail and we presume that her mother is off on an unchartered island that the IRS didn't find out about."

"So, Gretchen it is?"

"Gretchen it is." Angel finished off, reaching for the phone on Wesley's desk. Here went nothing.

She lay in Angel's bed, not feeling that safe in her own with the quilt tugged as close as it could get to her neck. She tried not to think, of anything really, but every time she closed her eyes she could see him. The little baby that she lost. Squirming and crying out for her. She couldn't think of it any longer, didn't want to think of it any longer. She didn't know what to do with herself. It had been a couple of days since her last vision and the surgery had been over two weeks ago with the doctor giving her the go ahead for her normal routine, whatever that was. She couldn't remember what her routine was before she found out she was pregnant. She remembered training with Angel, she remembered listening to Fred ramble on about her newest scientific theory, she remembered Wesley and Gunn arguing about the War of 1812 and she remembered Lorne humming as he helped around the office. She loved his little tunes. Sometimes they were simple like Mary had a little lamb, and other times, it was the whole score to Oklahoma, which she could do without for the rest of her natural life. She stared into the dark room as she heard the footsteps coming up the stairs. She hoped that it was just Fred or Lorne, passing by the door and not intending on coming in. She only wanted Angel if that was the case. But as she predicted in her silent thoughts, the door opened exposing the wall to some light coming from the hallway.

Angel made his way around the bed and took her hand that was lying closest to him.

"Hi." He mouthed over to her as he kissed the top of her hand, brushing it gently with his fingers. She smiled faintly back and looked away again. She knew he was making his best attempt, but she didn't feel like talking or doing much of anything for that matter. She was depressed and everyone knew it. She had been offered the therapy sessions, the support groups, the pills, but she didn't want them. She knew that if she was going to get through this, she was going to do it herself. This time, she was going to save herself. Another body slid in the bed and Cordelia twirled her head to see who it actually was. Gretchen Chase lay next to her with a saddened face and empathy like no other, save Angel. Placing her arm around Cordelia's waist, Gretchen tugged her granddaughter closer to her, trying to comfort her. Cordelia let it go then, the tears came, flowing down her cheeks and onto Angel's black satin sheets.

"I'm sorry....I'm so sorry baby." Gretchen quivered her lip as her arms hugged onto Cordelia, the weight on her shoulders finally caving in. Gretchen looked over to Angel, who let Cordelia's hand go and exited the room, silently thanking her for coming so quickly.

"I..." Cordelia started to talk, but Gretchen hushed her and started to rock Cordelia back and forth like a mother to a child.

"Sssh, no talking. Just let it out, honey, let it out."

And Cordelia cried.