(Good ole fashioned Riku angst. All I know is that I saw not heard, have never heard this this song, by Blink 182 I believe, and instantly; thoughts of Riku! Hints of slash as ever. I need to go all out and write some serious KH slash sometime, instead of just one-sided musings on Riku's part. Darn. I did cut out a repeat of the first verse by the way, as I really didn't want to drag this out, you know? So now you know.)

Stockholm Syndrome

This is the first (thing I remember)

Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)

When it comes down to it, you're the only thing that really matters now. I used to imagine what would happen when I found you again, the adventures we would have, the things we would do. I saw lots of things before I finally reached Traverse Town, there really is so much out there. I would see things, and know how much more fantastic they would look with you standing there as well. There was so much I wanted to show you.

Then, after that, when I found Kairi, I always thought that we'd end up together again at the end of it all. I was really allowing myself to be deluded. No, scrap that, I was deluding myself, I see that now. It's no matter, like I say, when it comes down to it, you really are the only one that matters now Sora.

It's all down to you, I can see that from here. It's dark here. Constantly dark, but I guess that's to be expected. I really don't know how long it's been, time doesn't seem to hold a lot of bearing any more. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling. I guess I don't feel much at all anyway, so there isn't much point worrying about it. A little sensation of emptiness now and then, like I'm missing something very, very important, but I can never quite place what. Sometimes, Sora, when I think of you, it seems that little bit closer, but it's never quite there. No matter.

Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)

Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)

I used to ask a lot of questions. What else is out there, what am I missing, will you ever understand? Will I? I used to wonder what happens to us after we're gone, you know? I used to think about that a lot. Now I just wish I'd spent more time living, instead of thinking. Remember this Sora, one day you will get all the answers you seek, but if you don't live first you might miss the most important questions.

I got my answer. This is where we go. Or at least this is where I belong.

Sora, you are the only thing that matters now. A whole lot rests on you and your actions. But don't be afraid, you never need to be afraid. You're strong. I know that one day soon your going to find you way here, and I'll be watching for you. I know I shouldn't, but that's what keeps me going, being able to see you again.

why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)

Do you realise that you may never get home? You may never set foot on the shores of Destiny Islands again. I know that it's my fault. I know that if perhaps I hadn't been so brash, if I had helped Kairi sooner, if I'd just trusted you. The reason it's come down to this is because I was so selfish. If I could just see beyond my own selfish needs... no. I'm doing it again, this doesn't matter now.

I'm so lost
I'm barely here
I wish I could explain myself

But words escape me

Don't worry about me Sora, just do what your heart tells you. You'll know what to do, you always have, inside.

it's too late
to save me
you're too late
you're too late

I'm lost. I'll admit that, to myself, since I'm the only one that's really listening. I never thought that I would make such a mess of everything, I always thought that I was stronger than this. I guess I underestimated you Sora, I always have. I should have trusted my feelings more, instead of putting all my strength into fighting. That's why you're the true master of the Keyblade, and I'm... well, here.

You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room

I suppose when I see you again, you won't have much to say to me. That's fine, it's my fault at any rate. Still... how do I tell you what I want to say? I can't. It's as simple as that. I can't leave you with soft sad words of despair, words which you'll stew over forever.

The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion

I'm still afraid though. I don't want to look at you for the last time and see loathing. It's all I deserve, and it will be better this way. If you hate me, then it will be that much easier for you to turn and walk away.

And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me

Have heart Sora, it will be your greatest strength, it always has been. Have heart in everything, except me.

Fin.