So, Friday came and went. Well not totally. It's about two minutes until Saturday morning and even though we had a small ceremony today for my baby, our baby I haven't really been dealing well with it. I kind of thought it would give me some sort of closure, you know. But who can really get over anything like this? I feel like...I don't know how to deal with anything like this or tell a stupid journal my deepest thoughts about it. Sometimes I just want to cry my heart out and sometimes I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

Cordelia looked up and over at the dimmed side table to her right and tried to find the next words that were floating through her brain. Angel was out, killing some demon thing over in Korean Town again. Everything was happening over there nowadays, she realized. The last three visions she had had been located in Korean Town. She brushed it off, thinking it as nothing and looked back to her scribbles that nobody but her could read.

I know last time I was talking about my family and the possibility of Angel: the boyfriend. Well, Angel: the boyfriend is a work in progress so I'll tell you about Gretchen, my long lost grandmother who is two doors over from me right now probably sleeping the night away while I am waiting up for a vampire that doesn't know any other color in the rainbow spectrum other than black. What is it with vampires and the color black? Okay, getting off track again Cordelia. Back to Gretchen. I never thought that I'd actually like her, her being a Chase and all and we all know that members of the Chase family are usually stuck up and have that better-than-thou persona, yours truly included, but that was a long time ago. I'm different and she is definitely different then the rest of my screwed up blood related family. She's kind, funny, and open to all things of the supernatural, which is definitely a plus. I mean with Lorne being green and all with the horns and him sleeping right across the hall from her, she better be open to it. She was here for the ceremony today. Held my hand and made sure that I wasn't left alone for one second. She's much like Angel in that respect. There I go, back to Angel. (Turning right to take the scenic route around him.) Now back to our regularly scheduled program: Gretchen Chase. She's taller than me. And has this whispy salt and pepper shoulder length hair that looks like it belongs to a goddess. She might be thin, but she sure can patch a mean punch too. Just ask Gunn.

Cordelia pulled her head p from the journal writing as Angel entered the bedroom with a dusty leather duster and threw it on the bed.

"Hey!"

"Why aren't you asleep?" He asked, shedding his shirt and tossing it into the already overflowing laundry basket.

"Don't change the subject." She pointed out, setting her journal and pen on the side table and taking the jacket off of the bed and hanging it up. "Jacket meet hanger." She said, turning back and showing Angel of her accomplishment.

"Again, why aren't you asleep?" He asked again, slipping into the bed and pulling the sheets up over him. She sat back down beside him and tweaked her eyebrows a certain way to make Angel wonder about her a bit more. Opening her journal back up, pen in hand she smiled down at him and returned to her inner thoughts.

Okay, so Angel and dusty jackets on the bed don't mix. Plus, he's pushy when he gets back from slaying a mob of vampires. But I love him. Don't ask me why, because I probably couldn't give you just one reason, but I love him; with all of my heart and soul. So, about this Angel: the boyfriend thing: do you think it could work? I hope it could, because come tomorrow or the next day, I'm not quite sure yet, we're going to find out.

Cordelia set the journal aside again, turning off the dim light on the table and slid down into the sheets, snuggling up next to him. With her chin digging into his bare chest, she looked up into his closed eye lids and smiled. This was it. This was right where she needed to be. All those speeches about him saving her just seemed so insignificant now. He was saving her right now as he held her close to him in his bed. He saved her each and every time he looked at her; each and every time he smiled or said her name. It was all like he said once before.

"Angel, I don't want you saving me!"

"Saving you is my job Cordelia. Whether you want to see it or not." He argued with her, watching her flee to the other side of the bed again. Flying up and over the king sized mattress, Angel caught her by the shoulders and forced her to sit down and hear what he had to say. "Saving you...it's my job, Cordelia. Because if you aren't here than I'm not either." A confused look came upon her brow then, not fully understanding what he meant by that.

"The whole reason I am still standing here in front of you, arguing with you about a simple little thing is all because of you. I wouldn't be here if you weren't. I would be gone, because you weren't there to save me. So as many times as I have to, I will save you. I will." He stressed.

"Angel...why?"

"Because I love you and you are worth everything to me." He kneeled on the carpeted floor and clasped her hands, looking up into her gold glistened eyes. "I will save you."

Lowering her head to rest upon his chest, Cordelia closed her eyes and smiled, knowing that as long as she was there, she would save him and he would save her.

"Can I ask you something Angel?" Gretchen asked the vampire with a very sharp sword in his hand as she sat down on the wooden steps going down to the basement. He turned around and grabbed for the towel hanging on the banister, wiping away the sweat that was protruding on his brow.

"Sure."

"I hope I'm not being to forward, but can you tell me what your intentions with my granddaughter are?"

What kind of question was that? Intentions? Of course, he could see her point, Cordelia being her granddaughter and all. Intentions? What were his intentions with her? He didn't know and couldn't tell her if his shanshu depended on it. He loved her, there was no doubt about that but if she asked him how exactly he planned to sweep her off of her feet, he didn't have an explanation.

"I'm not sure..." He stuttered as Gretchen squinted her eyes at him and sat quietly, waiting on an answer.

"She loves you, you know." Gretchen stood up then, reaching for the sword in his hands and putting it back in the weapons cabinet. "She told me about the ballet the last time I was here; said it was one of the most wonderful times in her life."

"She did?"

"Yes. But she also said that that wasn't the best time she had with you."

"It wasn't?"

"No, she said something about a hospital a while ago. That you and her became roommates for a while." Gretchen gave him a faint smile and recalled the conversation she had had with her granddaughter. "She said that you make the best eggs in town, you like to watch Bonanza no matter what time of day it is and that you like freesia shower gel."

"It smells good." He said in his defense to the last part. "Where are you going with this, Miss Chase?"

"Well, no where really, I just want to know what your intentions are with her. Are you going to court her for the rest of your life, are you going to marry her, do you want to have a family with her?" Gretchen stressed, walking about the damp basement noting all the training equipment that they actually had in the single room. Angel was taken aback by the questions and sat down on the last wooden stair. What was he supposed to say? He wanted to do all those things, and more.

"That's quite a lot to answer."

"I've got the time. Enlighten me." Gretchen said, taking a pack of cigarettes out of back pocket and sticking it in her mouth. "You mind?" She asked, seeing him nod and then lit the filtered tobacco product up.

"I love her."

"Well, that's obvious." Gretchen blew out the cigarette smoke she had been aching to blow out since Friday afternoon when they all planted two small trees in the courtyard in memory of both Connor and Cordelia's lost baby. The first tree for Connor was a birch tree and is said to promote healing for the mourning and sick. The other tree, for Cordelia's lost baby was a willow tree. The willow tree is said to soothe emotions, and banish depression and sadness. It was perfect for her. "Go on, keep enlightening." She said, inhaling another bit of her cigarette.

"Have you talked to Cordelia?" Angel said, wiping the towel over his forehead again.

"Angel, what's your real first name?"

"It's Angel. Just Angel."

"Okay, so when you and her get married, are you going to be Mr. Angel Angel?"

"Who says that we're getting married? I mean, I haven't even gotten up the nerve to ask her out."

"So, start asking."

"You." Angel thought about it before he said it as he watched Gretchen put out the cigarette into the brick wall. "You and her are definitely related."

Gretchen smiled back at him and raised her eyebrows, knowing he was exactly right.