Author's Notes: I hope found the previous chapter satisfactory, even if it is rather heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this next chapter is none too kind to Kaede. There will be more tears to spill and more pieces to the puzzle. Please keep reading and REVIEWING!

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Letting Go

Sunlight flowed in generously through the uncurtained windows, shedding light and soothing warmth inside the room, chasing away the cold, eerie shadows that hovered over the sleeping form on the bed.

Kaede squinted against the steady rays of the sun, wishing she had remembered to close the blinds last night. Pain racked her worn body. Kaede stretched out, expecting to feel Hisaki's calmly rising and falling chest beside her, but her fingers clutched nothing but air.

Awakened by the tingling alarms inside her head, Kaede quickly stood up and scanned the room. The only clothes remaining on the floor were here own. She hurriedly ran to the large bathroom, but he was not there. She flung the balcony doors open, but no, Hisaki was nowhere to be found. It only confirmed her fears.

Hisaki was gone.

Kaede knew he was only giving her a night like he said. She knew she wasn't supposed to get attached to him once again. God knows how hard she tried, but to have him so close, so near, to be able to touch him once again, Kaede could not help but have a tiny flicker of hope that he could learn to love her again.

Sadly, when you hope, when you expect, when you assume, yet get nothing in return, it only adds to the pain a hundredfold. Kaede learned about it firsthand.

She felt feverish, like her world was quickly spinning away, that she wondered whether it was from the aftermath of their late-night drinking or from the huge loss of Hisaki slipping through her fingers once again. She remembered how she lay on his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart, just before her weary eyes shut closed. It was a blissful moment, thinking that maybe Hisaki could still change his mind, learn to forgive and accept her again.

But clearly, she wasn't given that second chance.

How could could she live again without him in her life? It hurt once to lose him, but to lose him again when he was so close was more painful that she had ever imagined. She had imagined this morning to be different, to be the brightest of her days. A day that would signify a change in her life, the beginning of a future they will share once again.

But there was no "we" to think of anymore. Now that they had been given
another chance, she was faced with the brutal truth that the love they used to share no longer existed. The connection between them had deteriorated over the years. It was time to wake up from her illusory dreams. Agonizing and difficult though it may be, she was left with no choice but to accept his decision.

A part of her they did not meet again; maybe it would've been easier to forget him, or at least, bury him in her memories like she did for the past three years. It would have been easier to believe that he was dead and that nothing she could do to ever bring him back. But being able to see him again gave her a newfound hope for love.

A love that would never be requited. An offering, a sacrifice that would never be returned.

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Kaede laid down in bed, too stunned to speak, move or even cry. She slowly closed her eyes, hoping that sleep could claim her mangled thoughts, but her eyes flickered open once more when she heard a crumpling sound from beneath her pillow. There it was, a note with her name scripted on it, neatly folded and tucked underneath.

Her heart surged with joy!

Maybe Hisaki had decided to go out for a while and he would be back soon. Maybe he had decided to give their love a new beginning. Maybe he had left his number and address so she could contact him. Maybe all is not lost, after all.

Kaede, barely breathing, carefully unfolded the paper with trembling hands and read the content.

I know you have been wondering to where I was these last three years. But telling you about the whole story wouldn't do you any good. Those years were the darkest and most challenging times of my life, and I have been scarred beyond repair.

There are things, secrets in life that are best left unknown. But I think you ought to know a part of what happened. At least, I owe you that much.

After the accident where I got thrown out of the car, breaking several bones and acquiring concussions, I had amnesia. It felt like a dark cloud that kept me from remembering even my own name. I struggled with it, day and night, hour after hour. Even when I couldn't remember anything, something inside me kept me fighting to remember.

There were times during therapy when I felt like a candle was lit inside my head, but before I could see clearly, a wind would blow and the light would die to leave me in the darkness once again. But I wrestled with it.

I just knew that there was someone truly important that I had to remember—YOU.

I wanted to die, but I fought to live for years, just feeding off from the memory of a girl I knew I loved, a girl I knew I was supposed to marry, a girl who was waiting for me. I couldn't see her face back then when my memory was all a blur, but I had a sense of mission, a strong urgency inside me to get better just so I can see her again, because I knew, she promised that she would be mine.

When I lost her once, I thought I would never find her again. I lived life without a direction, just getting by each day with menial jobs to feed the cravings for alcohol, a deadening sedative to my inner pain as my memories returned excruciatingly slow and I realized I no longer had a life. In the eyes of the world, I no longer existed.

I've waited so long for this day to come. The day that I wil finally be reunited with the girl of my dreams. But I was disappointed…for this girl no longer existed. Her well-kept innocence, unyielding principles, determined strength were all gone.

I find myself in a desolate situation, because I now realize I have nothing left to live for. All that kept me alive was a mirage formed by the lonely deserts of my heart. But I don't want to live a lie anymore. My only wish is to be reunited with my love, a love I have lost but hopefully, will find again in another lifetime.

I am sorry, Kaede.

But I want you to know, I loved you.

Tears streamed down her face. It ripped her inside to have him speak of the Kaede she used to be. She realized that as much as she missed Hisaki, she missed her old self too. She had changed when she met him. She was healed from the hurt that she had accumulated over the years. She recovered from all the battle scars she had endured. But when Hisaki was gone, she reverted back to fueling emotions of anger and spite.

Hisaki was right.

She wasn't the same girl anymore.

She looked back at the letter, wanting to convince him that she could change. She would change, just for him. She wanted him to take back the words. For in her heart of hearts, she still was that same girl he used to love. She wanted to tell him that all was not lost, that it wasn't too late.

But for HIsaki, it was too late. He had lost faith in everything he believed in.

Kaede knew Hisaki truly deserved a life of peace and solitude…even one without her. For all that they've gone through; she now realized just how heavy the burden he carried was. Now, she knew she had to let go and set him free from the strings that bound him to her and their vows to each other.

It was time to bid farewell.

In her mind's eyes, she could see him writing the letter, trying hard but failing to keep his tears from dropping onto the letter, creating dark, inky smudges where elegantly scripted words used to be. Even his words were fading away as he wrote them. They were fading away as she read them. He was fading away from her life.

And far off, in a solitary haven, Hisaki's life was fading from his body as well…

Kaede knew that he would find peace elsewhere.

Hoping that her words would be carried to wherever he was right now, she had whispered to the wind, I will miss you.

And in the present time, scarcely aware of herself clutching the old, yellowish, wrinkled letter in her hand, Kaede's mouth opened to form the words in reverential silence.

"I still do."

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Thank You Notes:

GreenCookie: Oookay, so how's this? Hehehe. I'm beginning to get scared of our opinion on my updates, but I really do appreciate it. Be honest, and break it gently. I'm fragile. LOL! *wink wink* And no, you prolly know by now that it was not a dream. Good guess with the first one though!

mythical: Exactly what I was trying to show. Yes, Hisaki is human therefore must have a character flow, that one being unable to forgive. You hit it right! Thanks for the review.

cuppajava: Well, remember how I described in the Tragedy Strikes how the body was burnt and distorted and all that=beyond recognition? Plus, in the next chap, ANOTHER BLOW, I also mentioned how Mr. Nagasaki was saying that they didn't really have proof? I hope I got that cleared up. Yes, it's sad it's there was no love, but unfortunately, both of them weren't exactly the same people they were years back. Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it.

myzee: Sorry, if this chap update is even shorter. Hehehe! But I'll try to squeeze as much as I can, alright? Help me catch some plot bunnies, would you? THanks for reviewing!

deepseadolphin: Well, it wasn't a dream. But how and why Hisaki is alive again will be explained as we go along further. (There'll be no mystery if I told you the secret now, right?) Thanks for keeping up with me!

BlackArmoria: Yes, it's sad that they aren't in love anymore, at least, not with their present selves. It's such a waste, but it happens. After all, they haven't seen each other for the longest time and circumstances have transformed them. Thanks for commenting! See you next chapter!

windsoffortune: Well, I guess Hisaki was on the brink of sanity, if you know what I mean? Imagine losing your memory and when it comes back rushing in, you find out that your life's a mess. Actually, you don't have a life at all since Kaii had replaced him. I guess, it's hard to see Hisaki as a new man, but yeah, I'm harsh...and as GreenCookie said, "Slightly sadistic."

jestina: Hello there! *waves* Glad to see that you're back with me! Yayayayay!!! Was this update fast enough? See you next chapter!

Buzz03: You've hit it right on the head! Are you psychic? hehehe. We'll see if I can be kinder or just much worse to Kaede... Don't tell her though, she might come after me...LOL!

Thanks for reviewing. I really draw insights and inspiration from your feedback. So keep 'em coming!!!