Hey everybody. Thanks for the reviews. Sorry I can't make everyone happy. I've actually finished writing the story out- just got to type and post. Anyways here's the next instalment. Hope you enjoy!

BTW - nothings changed- FATF still don't belong to me. I'm just playin with them.

Leon and I spent the drive over to the Fort discussing our would-be trip to Puerto Rico. It isn't exactly true that Leon can't speak Spanish. He knows like a half dozen phrases, but none of them should be repeated in polite company. It took me the whole ride there, but I made him swear on the slips to his car that he would not try to use any of them while we were out there.

I swear, I worry about being seen in public with him sometimes.

When we pull in to the driveway Vince & Jesse are pacing it.

"Ahh. She's called in reinforcements," Leon observes as we get out of the car.

"Shit," I swear under my breath. Just what I need. More sympathy ridden lectures about how to lead my life. How quickly these bustas forget that I was the one holding their heads when they came home from hitting the strip clubs with Hector. (Of course it was in these clubs that they taught Leon shit he should never ever have heard.)

I don't have much time to brace myself for the attack. Jesse immediately runs up and practically jumps on me in his eagerness to envelope me in a hug.

"Jesse, get off me man. I can't breath."

"Adrian called and said you were at the restaurant. I was about to go over there when Mia called. Where've you been? I've been going out of my mind worrying about you." Releasing me from his death grip Jesse takes a quick look over me, sees that I'm okay and gives me a shove. "Don't pull that disappearing act shit again!"

I would have laughed, except Jesse's face and hands looked like he'd put them through a meat grinder.

"You take Dom on again?" I ask, hoping the stupid kid's answer would be no.

"Fuck yeah I did." Jesse stands up straighter and nods over to Vince. "Me and the Coyote did some damage."

I feel about two inches tall right now. There's no way it went as well as Jesse is trying to make it sound like it did. If I smoked, this would be a good time for a cancer stick cause I already want to die.

"You gonna give me a lecture too Vince?"

He laughs and shakes his head. He's got a black eye and bruised knuckles too. Guess they both went to bat pretty hard core this time. He sees me looking at his war wounds and plays it all macho.

"You should see Dom. I swear me and Jesse cracked at least three of his ribs. And if you ever take him back, FYI, you're gonna need to buy your kids cause ain't no way he's gonna be able to provide you any. I think we mighta ruptured one of his balls."

It's too funny, I have to laugh. It's a weird feeling right now, but it feels good. For the first time since I left here on Monday, I feel close to my old self.

Mia's standing on the porch watching all of us. I throw an arm around each of my brave bruised and battered knights and head up to see her.

I listen to the boys give Leon the play by play and about how they took the might Dom and brought him low. It warms the heart, really it does.

"Mia," I say softly as I pull her into a hug.

"Letty, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. You should have told him like you-" She starts crying.

Christ.

"Hush now," I say, rubbing her back. "We all make our own decisions, even me and Dom. I could have told him if I wanted to Mia. You're not the boss of me, remember?"

I think about the Journals that I kept for Dom. I was supposed to give him those the day you got out. That's how I'd planned on telling him everything. I don't know what I'll do with them now.

I sigh and look at my team, my family. God I've missed them.

A voice in the back of my head whispers that if Dom ever forgives me I can come home to them. If he doesn't, another voice says, this may be the last time you see them.

I bet schizophrenics aren't crazy when the voices start, they just get that way from listening to the what-ifs and shit all day long.

I shake it off only to be assaulted by guilt. Vince took on his best friend of 15 years. Jesse took on a man twice his size. They did it for me. Their blood is on my hands.

Mia puts her hand on my arm as I start up the stairs to the bedroom. "I need to warn you Letty, it looks like hell up there." She rubs her neck, just like Dom does when he's stressed. "He lost it when we told him you weren't' here when he got back. I tried to pick up a little, but it was just too depressing…"

I swallow and nod, trying to be strong for them. "At least we don't have to open all the drawers and empty them." I try to joke, but no one laughs. "Come on, let's just grab my shit and go. I want to go to the travel agent before it closes."

"You're going on a trip?" Vince asks, startled.

"Yeah. I'd been saving up for when… but Leon and I are going instead." I start to pick my clothes up and pile them on the bed.

"How'd you manage that? I thought we were broke," Jesse asks. Sometimes his ADHD basically gives him the balls to ask what other people want to but think is inappropriate.

When I didn't answer, Leon did. "She never went out. Seriously, I mean in the last two years, she never once said we should go out for anything, not even Inn & Out. Not a movie, not a beer, nothing. If we managed to drag her, she only went as our designated driver and would just have water." Leon pauses for a moment and I think I'm off the hook. Wrong.

"She tutored kids on base in Spanish, baby sat them too. She helped the newbies with their cars, painted pictures of their families for them to give their folks for gifts. She balanced their checkbooks for them every two weeks and did their taxes in April."

"Enough!" I say, cutting Leon off. "They get it."

"They should know what you did for them," Leon argues.

"It's not a big deal," I say as I stuff some of my crap into a bag. "And that wasn't for them, that stuff. That was for him. I wanted to take him on vacation after he got out." I stop talking cause it hurts to much and swallow down the pain as best I can. "But that's over now. I messed up. He ended it. We're not talking about it anymore."

All four of them started to protest, but I wasn't having it.

"It's none of your goddamn business, all right? So shut up already. I swear to God I'll take my frustrations out on the next one of you to open your mouth and say something even remotely related to this."

Vince looks away. He's not really sure what to say or do, I can tell.

Jesse's outraged. He's probably pissed that I said I was the one who messed up.

Mia is silently sympathetic. It's almost sweet, 'cept I know she has no idea what I've gone through for her and her brother so she just comes off as naiveté to me.

Leon looks… amused. Trust him to keep his sense of humor about this whole thing.

Feeling somewhat guilty for snapping at them, I try to explain. "I promised Dom I'd be here," I say softly. "And I wasn't, not the way I was supposed to be. He has a right to be mad." My hands start to tremble as I put more clothes into yet another bag.

Mia reaches out to me but I turn away. "The worst part is half the time I was away was 'cause I volunteered to be. I volunteered for those deployments. You get more money when you're in the field and it was easier. I didn't have to worry about the world beyond the four corners of whatever field I was in."

It takes me a little while before I can continue. I pick up some random tennis ball and start to grip it. "I just did it a couple of times, volunteer to go I mean. Mia got sick that last time remember? So I stopped." I can feel them staring at me.

"Letty, I had bronchitis. I missed three days of school. That was it- nothing bad happened." Mia is frowning as she says this. I've never really noticed before how she can look nothing like her brother and yet exactly like him at the same time.

"Yeah and you woulda missed more school if my mom hadn't been here to make you go to the doctor." I crack my neck and look from one baffled face to the next.

"Don't you get it?" God they're so fucking slow sometimes. "That was supposed to be my job. Me. I promised Dom. You coulda- no. It's over. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just get my shit and I'll be out of here."

"Letty, you worked at the garage at least 20 hours a week while you were home," Jesse says softly. "And that's on top of the time you put in with Leon on base. You made sure all of us were safe, and sane and shit, and that goes for Leon too. But we didn't do shit for you Let. How can you blame yourself when we didn't-"

"Jesse shut up already okay? That wasn't your job," I bark. "I was supposed to look after Mia. I was supposed to be here. That was my one fucking job." I snarl, beaming a mirror across the room with the tennis ball.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I know it's me but- without Dom- I just- I don't know who I am anymore. Surprisingly it isn't cracked. The only thing that's cracked in here is me. I shake my head in disgust and grab as much as my stuff as I can carry and head toward the car.

"This isn't right," Mia sighs. "Dom is being an asshole. You shouldn't leave Letty. You've done more for us than he has."

"He's my boy Let, but she's right." Vince says from somewhere behind me.

"I lied to him. He trusted me. I fucked up." I rub my eyes angrily, trying desperately not to let the tears flow. "I don't want to go through this again."

After I've loaded everything I brought down into Leon's car, I watch as the four of them do the same. I know they've carried everything we've packed today down.

Now all that's left are the journals.

Without telling them where I'm going, I head up to the master bedroom. As soon as I open the door it's pretty obvious that Dom's moved in here. His stuff is all over the place. It's so messy it's as if he doesn't even have a closet.

Ah that could be a good thing. If he isn't using the closet than he hasn't seen the journals. Fantastic.

I go into the closet and pull down the box. There are five of them in there, all full of my secret thoughts, all with pictures and drawings depicting the last two years. My life is in these books.

"What are you doing in here?"

I freeze. Dom.

I turn and face him, my hands full. "I didn't hear your car."

"Tamara dropped me off. We had to go to Harry's to get new floor mats. Seems someone puked on hers." Dom stands in the doorway, his arms crossed, looking larger than life. God he's handsome as sin.

"How sad," I say, unable to keep the smirk off my face. "She had to have you help her with that? Princess couldn't handle?"

"She needs me," Dom replies, walking in to the room. "It's nice to be needed."

"Funny, I thought I was needed once," I spit out. I want to run past him but I'm frozen in place. "It's over rated."

Dom doesn't bother with a response. Instead he stands directly in front of me and asks, "What are you doing in here?" We're so close that the box is the only thing between us.

He leans forward and his abs brush my fingers. "Hmmm? You haven't answered my question."

"I came to get my stuff." It takes all my will not to shut my eyes and just breath him in.

"Your stuff was in the other room. That's why I moved in here." Dom's voice is harsh and angry.

"This is mine too." I nod down at the box. I make my feet move around him. Just barely.

"Looks important." He touches the books, making me flinch.

"Don't," I say before I can stop myself, pulling away from him.

"What? If they were so important why didn't you take them with you when you left the first time?" Dom follows me as I walk toward the door.

I stare at him I the mirror, noticing for the first time the dark circles under his eyes and the bruising on his arms and face. His nose is swollen and his lip is split.

"Jesse and Vince do that to you?" I ask, avoiding his question.

"You avoiding my questions?" Trust Dom to pick up all the shit I don't want him to.

"Not like you were around to make me answer your question. How'd you get out early anyway? Can't have been for good behavior considering you're more of an asshole now than you were before we got together. What's a matter? Princess not dropping it for you?" Words pour out of me. I want him to hurt like I hurt.

"Oh she's on her knees for me all the time kid, don't you worry. You should ask her for some tips. Leon'll probably thank me for introducing you to her." He's so matter of fact. It's like I never meant shit to him.

I look at him in shock, dropping the box on the floor. I can't stop the strangled cry from escaping. He looks so fucking satisfied. Fuck THAT.

"I hate you!" I scream at him in Spanish, hurling one of the albums at him. "I fucking hate you!" I run at him and start to pummel him with my fist. "I did everything for you. I gave up everything for you."

I hear him calling my name, telling me to stop but I can't. I'm so fucking angry, I've never been this angry before. I feel him take my arms and pin me to the wall so I can't hit him anymore, but by now I'm crying so hard I can't fight back.

He says my name over and over again in my ear, trying to calm me down but all I can do, all I can say is just repeat myself. "I gave you everything."

He whispers something in that fierce growl of his. I can feel it on my neck, but the meaning of the words themselves never enter my consciousness the way they should.

"I know. I know Mira. Calm down Letty. Calm down. I know baby. Shhh. Mira, calm down."

Suddenly his lips are on mine and my arms are around his neck. For the first time in almost three years our bodies share what we've denied them. Our bodies scream all that we've refused to even whisper. We need each other.

It was hardly making love. It was angry and desperate. We didn't think, couldn't- the rawness of it all was overwhelming.

When it was over Dominic and I just stood there, tangled together, both leaning against the wall for support. I could feel him in me and realized we hadn't used a condom. Oh god. I haven't been on the Pill since he went in.

I groan and push him off me, trying to pull my clothes back into place. "This- we shouldn't have done this, not like this."

"You weren't so picky five minutes ago." I can tell by his tone that I've said the wrong thing.

"You know what I mean Dom." I run my hand thru my hair. It's a mess, just like everything else. "We could have gotten an annulment."

"You're worried about that right now?" Dom laughs in disbelief. "Jesus Letty, you're a good liar, just act like it didn't happen. Hiding the truth should be no problem."

"I didn't know they made soap boxes big enough for you to fit on. Your damn ego is so damn big I woulda thought it was impossible. People who live in glass whore houses shouldn't throw stones. You went out and broke your vows the second you could."

I took a deep breath. "Look, this isn't why I came here. And that stuff about the annulment, that's not what I meant to say. We obviously… we're fucked up Dom. Both of us."

"No shit," He says rubbing his neck. "But you running away to Puerto Rico with another man isn't going to solve our problems."

I feel a wave of shame wash over me. He's right, but I don't give him a response. I pick up the box I'd abandoned earlier and head for the door.

"It's not running away when you pushed me away first." My voice is raw, my emotions exposed. "I don't trust you. You don't trust me. I don't know how to fix that."

I leave, not waiting for him to answer.

The team is sitting around the living room playing one of their half dozen racing games. The music up pretty high and one look from Leon let's me know that it was for my benefit that they were assaulting their eardrums.

Box in hand I head for the front door, causing a worried Mia to pause the game. "You're not staying?" Obviously she thought things were better now that Dom and I had… released some frustration.

I shake my head. "Nothing's changed Mi."

Vince casts a look upstairs, obviously worried about Dom. "How long you gonna be out of town?"

"Don't know. A couple of weeks maybe. I'll call when I'm back." I put the box down and give each of them a hug. It's not like me to be this mushy but I feel like I have to. Just in case.

"You keep things under control while I'm gone, kay Vince?"

He laughs. "Don't I always?"

I roll my eyes, thinking of the time I had to wire Jesse money to bail Vince out of jail.

"Whatever. Look. I gotta go now so, for real. You guys take care of each other."

They nod. Maybe they know if they say anything I'll break down. Who knows.

Picking up that damn box once again I head out.

Leon drives the car down to my house and we unload 2 years worth of crap in 20 minutes before rushing down to get our tickets.

By noon the next day we're on a plane to San Juan and my application to LAX is in the mail.

On the flight over I try not to think about whether Dom and I are going to have yet another thing to argue about in nine months. Even though I'm pro choice, there's enough catholic left in me that I can't bring myself to think about taking a morning after pill.

Please God, I pray, please. Tell me that the beating from Vince and Jesse left Dom sterile like they said it would.