UTTER AND TOTAL RETARDATION! this chapter is what happens when boxed wine goes on sale! Do NOT drink boxed wine it will render you stupid, and please for the love of the gods do NOT watch VH1 I love the 80's whilst drinking said bottle of wine – you will die! and if you don't you'll write something stupid. actually this is a light hearted lead in to the rest of the not so light hearted story, stuff's about to get really fucked up. To my one totally kick ass reviewer thank you and don't say I didn't warn you. :-D aaaaaaand I own nothing. -D

19 – Notorious

They were at a concert. Queen maybe, he couldn't tell. He recognized the music, something about the rocking world going round. Yeah, it was definitely Queen. That voice, that beat. Freddie Mercury was most absolutely in the building...so where was he? They looked across the stadium, no Freddie. In fact, no nothing. There was music yes, but no band. Where was the band? They obviously paid for the show and while the music kicked ass, Queen was gone. "Fuck Queen!" he yelled. As his voice left him no less then 100,000 people turned and stared at him defiantly.

"You've done it now."

Severus turned to May. Legitimate fear crept to their faces. They ran up the aisle and out the door to the main promenade of the concert hall. They turned and locked the doors behind them. The pounding of a thousand hands rang in their ears.

"We're going to die here, May."

Just then a door slammed and before them stood the Queen Mother herself brandishing a large green light saber. She blocked their only hope of escape.

"Die here you will, yes!"

"Holy shit, Severus, the Queen's gone Yoda."

They reached for their wands and yet pulled from their pockets 2 more light sabers. The Queen advanced. The battle was furious, relentlessly she fought with all her little queenie strength. From the corner of promenade four men with axes on horseback arrived.

"Help here?!" The young couple cried.

The four men dismounted and removed their knightly head pieces. "The Queen's gone wonky again boys, let's go!" Severus and Maylin stood back as the mysterious knights surrounded the Queen. She shrilled with laughter before being completely overcome. Upon finishing their deed they turned to the pair they had rescued.

"She'll be back no doubt. Those Royals are terribly insane – they always come back."

"Who are you?" Maylin asked in wonder of the man's perfect hair.

The man stood proud. "I am Sir Simon from the Land of Le Ban! And we are the Knights of Duran from the Kingdom of Duran!"

"Duran! Duran! Duran!" the knights shouted in unison.

"We are but humble knights now, but one day we have ambitions of being the greatest of all rockstars! But alas, to this date no one has ever embraced our mediocre but out-right catchy-synth pop."

Maylin frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that – what sort of things do you write about?"

"Well, we wanted to write about the darker things in life. Broken hearts and tears but it seems that The Cure has already beaten us to it."

Severus chimed in. "Yes, their first effort while popular was a bit down trodden."

"I agree, Sev, perhaps you should right song about the things that make you happy. What turns you on?"

"Well you know, the normal things, jelly beans and pornography mostly."

"Why then I see no point in debating the subject, obviously you need to write a song about girls on film and no doubt you will be a huge success."

"Yeah," Severus continued, "and if you make the song about girls people won't think you're queer." "Severus!" "What? They won't."

Sir Simon pondered their advice. "Girls on Film? I rather like the ring to that!"

The Knights Duran nodded in agreement and mumbled the line to themselves before fading into the darkness. Maylin and Severus waved as the knights disappeared.

"You know, May, no matter what they write people are going to think they're queer. Did you see his hair?" "Yeah, I did."

They stood in silence surrounded by darkness. "So?" Maylin piped up. "Is this my dream or yours?"

Severus shook his head. I'm not sure, but judging by the Knights of Duran I'm going to assume it's yours." Maylin smiled. "Good! You up for pizza then?"

"Even in your sleep, May, I absolutely love you."

"Come on then. Pizza awaits."

The high morning sun woke him. Severus really didn't mind all that much, except to say that if those Duran Duran guys ever became famous he would have to most certainly hold that against Maylin for the rest of her life. He tightened his hold around Maylin and tried to convince himself that staying here was a much better idea than venturing out into the Hogwarts world. They slept in a weird puzzle piece design arms and legs overlapped. He raised himself up and felt the crick in his neck. We're going to have to work on this.

He haphazardly rolled onto his back. He hadn't slept that good in months. He was going to have to keep this girl around. He smiled to himself and waxed ecstatic about 8 hours ago, how did he get so fucking lucky? He tried not to consider it for too long. He was half convinced that any given point he was going to wake up and still be on the train to school.

He needed a cigarette.

Stretching one last time he rolled and nudged Maylin. When she greeted him with a lazy smack to the head, he decided to leave her be for a bit while longer. He slid of the bed and stood up. He scratched his head and looked for their pile of clothing on the floor. His jeans had landed over a bed post. He grabbed some boxers from the "clean" laundry pile and pulled his jeans up and on. Saturday meant that no robes were necessary so he grabbed his favorite Stones t-shirt and his dark button down shirt. Boots laced and hair secured under his dark cowboy hat (Jack sends the wonkiest presents), he unlocked the door and made his way to the Slytherin common room.

"By the Gods, it emerges!"

Severus smirked. "Morning Holden."

Max and Holden sat at the bottom of the steps. They looked almost too relaxed and still wore the same clothes Severus had seen them in the morning before.

"Good night, Severus?"

"Very."

"You?" Max nodded. "Can't complain. The door to the room was locked you know."

"Was it?"

"Yeah, how was your tea party?"

"It was good."

"Just good?"

Severus closed his eyes and laughed out loud.

"Nah...It was fucking great."

Holden looked over his shoulder. "You going outside?"

"Yup."

"Where's May?"

"Still sleeping."

"Uh-huh." Holden grinned upwards and punched Severus in the leg.

"You fucking dog."

Severus just shook his head and continued through the common room. Holden and Max joined him. The three of them finally felt they had something to talk about.