A/N: Originally this series was inspired by music, but it took on a life of it's own. I'd hear a song and think, gee- I could see Dom & Letty in that music video. While the story isn't really a song fic, I've lifted more lyrics and inserted them through out. Anyways today's inspiration came from various parts of the Dawson's Creek Soundtrack. (The first one.)

Dom jerked back. "You're not serious." He's shocked. He didn't come all this way thinking I'd say no.

"Dominic Please." I rest my head against his and start crying in earnest now. The fact that I'm not trying to physically distance myself from him makes it more real to both of us that I mean what I'm saying.

"I love you too much to go through this bull shit anymore. It's killing me," I whimper.

He holds me tight and rubs my back, rocking me like a child when I start to pound on his chest half heartedly.

Just when I think it can't get any worse than this it starts to pour.

For some reason Dom thinks this is hilarious. He stands up, pulling me with him. Brushing my tears away he kisses the bridge of my nose and holds my head in his hands.

"C'mon. Where are you staying?"

I point to my cabana.

With that big smile still on his face he picks me up like he did all those years ago and takes off running for shelter. When we reach the lanai he shifts my weight so that he carries me over the threshold the way he would have if this had been our honeymoon.

The rain is warm, but we're both soaking wet. I'm not wearing anything but a rather revealing bikini and I know I should feel utterly ridiculous, but instead I feel… safe. Dom makes me less certain than I had been just a minute ago that this was a bad idea.

"Mi Corazon." He is stalking toward me slowly, closing this distance that has sprung up between us.

"Come on man." I try to reason with him. "This is crazy." I put my hands up to ward him off and back away.

He just smiles and unbuttons his wet shirt. Advancing. He rumbles with laughter when he sees me lick my lips as my eyes roam over his torso.

"We only hurt each other when we stay apart," Dom says as he backs me into the bathroom. "We belong together."

"You don't love me and I don't want this," I argue.

Dom shakes his head and turns on the light. "You love me."

I take a deep breath preparing to lie to him. My denial dies in my throat as the smell of roses fills my nostrils. What? How?

There is the most beautiful, inviting, perfect bubble bath waiting for us.

I frown trying to make sense of all this.

"I want you to see that I can take care of you if you let me." Dom says as he pulls me into his arms. He kisses my lips so softly, asking permission to proceed.

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back, reciprocating his tenderness. I know that logically speaking this is the last thing that we should be doing. I shouldn't- but for this moment I let him make the decisions.

Dom picks me up and slowly puts me in the whirlpool tub giving me time to adjust to the steamy water. He is careful not to splash water all over the place and that somehow melts my resolve further.

I watch as he stands up and undoes his pants. He's obviously hard for me but doesn't take off his boxers before stepping into the tub behind me.

"What are we doing Dominic?" I sigh as I make room for him.

I could tell he was smiling as he undid my bikini top and let it drop on the side of the tub.

"Well, first I'm going to scrub your back and every inch of your skin before I wash your hair. Then I'm going to take you back into the bedroom and give you a massage."

"I don't think we should- Dios Mios." My protests disappear as Dom starts to scrub my back as promised. Its so good it feels better than any massage I've ever had.

"You like that huh?" Dom asks as he kisses my neck.

All I can do is whimper as my head lolls forward.

"For someone who's been on vacation for three and a half weeks you're pretty damn tense," Dom says in that gravely voice. "I guess the last three years has been pretty stressful for you, huh Mija?"

"I missed you." I whimper as he rubs my lower back. "I needed you with me so bad Dominic."

"I know that now. You did a good job mira. I just wish you'd told me what was happening when it was happening." Dom is being honest, but not accusatory.

"I couldn't. You had so much shit you had to deal with. I couldn't tell you how afraid I was. I promised you I would take care of everything but it was so goddamn hard. I was afraid I would disappoint you with the choices I made," I confess.

"See? Now why couldn't you just say that when I asked you on the beach? Why do you gotta be tough all the time?" Dom kisses my neck. God I love him.

"That's why you kept the journal. So you could tell me everything."

My regrets start to fill my eyes and stream down my cheeks. "I wanted you to feel like you were there with us. Shit I wanted to feel like you were with me."

Dom turns me around and pushes me back against eh other end of the tub. He places one hand on each side of my hips and took eth edge of my bottoms in his fingers. Even though I'm almost twenty now I fell like I'm fifteen again.

He gives me a reassuring smile and I lift my hips up as he pulls my bottoms off of me.

I look into his eyes and ask him something that's been bothering me for longer than I care to admit. "Why didn't you want me? Before you went to Lompoc? We haven't made love since before Palmdale."

He stills and I can see that even his breathing has stopped for the moment.

"Was I not… what you wanted me to be? Even then?" So much for being strong.

"Baby no. That's not it at all."

"Then what Dom? Because I want to know, even if I won't like the answer."

Dom doesn't say anything at first. "I didn't want to at first. And then I beat the shit out of Linder. When you stood by me, I knew you loved me but I didn't want to hurt you. I felt like this dirty animal. There were a couple of times when we'd start kissing and shit but I couldn't/ I felt dirty next to you, like I was polluting you. I couldn't even you know… so I stopped trying."

I suppose I should have been relieved that it wasn't me back then that had turned him off. But I wasn't. I was pissed. "So two years ago you weren't good enough to touch me. But somehow since then while you were in Club Fed and I was trying to hold your world together for you I fell off that pedestal long enough for you to go fuck some whores and then do me without a condom?!"

I get out of the tub and spit in his face. "I'm your fucking wife Dom," I hiss. "You were supposed to forsake all others, not forsake me for all others."

Stalking out of the bathroom I slam the bathroom door closed behind me.

Behind me I hear Dom curse and follow after me. "Letty- I'm sorry. I fucked up. I've been putting myself thru hell for it. Please. I can't loose you over some mistake that I made that didn't even mean anything."

Dom's begging weirds me out and I cut him off before he can say anything more. "You kicked me out of our house because I didn't tell you the whole truth about how I was trying to help you. But you disrespected me in a way a thousand times worse than what I did to you," I rage as I put a terry cloth robe on and pace the room. "Why is it that I'm never enough for you goddamn it?"

"Don't put this all on me Let. We both made mistakes. You know I was fucked up," Dom said as he pulled boxers off and tossed them In the hamper. HE puts a robe on and sits down on the bed, watching me. "I came here to make things right between us Let, not to play this game of seesaw with my head. I won't play this part."

"Fuck you. This isn't a game Dominic, this is our lives!" I'm screaming once again. So much for having self control and a little dignity.

"I'll always know down in my soul we really had so far to go. I thought we'd have forever Dom, but now- I've given all I had to give and now it's time for me to live. I won't look back and I won't regret. It hurt's like hell but someday I'll forget."

"Letty," Dom chokes.

"Don't call me. Don't write. Don't show up in the middle of the night to say that you've been thinking. It's funny how we seem to end up here. I never thought I'd see this all disappear."

"Letty NO. Please. No. Not like this for God's sake."

"You know that we need it. Some time and space to breathe in. This is letting go Dominic. I just want to learn how to live my life without tears. That means learning to live without you in it."

In a soft, broken voice Dom tries to change my mind. "You say you want to learn how to live your life without tears. But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years. So go ahead and cry. It's the only thing to do sometimes. I've been crying too."

I don't let him distract me. "It's what you haven't said here today that sets me free Dom. You haven't said that you love me. And that's what hurts the most."

Dom wraps his arms around my legs, clinging to me as if somehow he can cling to what he had. "I'm not going to loose you like this," he says clutching me. "I do love you Leticia. You know that. I love you so much it makes me crazy sometimes. I won't hurt you again, I swear to God. I'll drink a whole bottle of my pride if it will get these demons off our backs."

I push him away and step away from him. "We deserve something real. Time to heal- I can't keep my memories in shoe box in the closet anymore."

"If all you want is time, I'll try to give you that Letty. But it didn't help us before. We need to be together to fix this. I'm not the man I want to be for you when you aren't with me."

Dom picks himself up off the ground. "I'm nothing without you."

I stand in front of him and search his eyes. I can see that he believes it, that he's being 100 honest with me. "You're going to have to learn how to be him Dom. You need to believe in yourself as much as I used to believe in you before I can trust you again. It's like I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Letty- Please. I'm begging you. If we do this, if we take a break, will you promise we'll get back together?" He rubs his neck and then cracks his knuckles. Dom asks sounding more broken and lost than I have EVER heard him before.

"I can't." I hear my heart breaking in those words and know that I am breaking his as well. "And I won't," I force myself to say. I need to be honest with myself. "I don't owe you anymore promises Dominic."

"So you're- are you going to divorce me?"

Sorry. Don't mean to be evil. I know cliff hangers are a bitch. I just wanted to give all the reviewers an update. I'll try to get more online asap!