Bless my stars an update! Stuffs about to kick into high gear so if you've been reading all along questions will be answered the story is finished so now it's up to my lazy ass to remember to post. If you like it let me know, I might write a sequel or something but only if there is some kind of demand – otherwise I'm just talking to myself...again...profusely....................HEY LOOK A CHAPTER!

22 - Message in a Bottle

Maylin walked gingerly back to her office; the cold had seeped into her skin pushing her just a wee bit faster to the warm confines of her workplace. She removed her coat and sank into the soft whirly chair she had sent from her New York office. She missed New York. The lights, the assholes, the constant back and forth of people and things. She missed disappearing into nothingness every time she stepped out of the subway line. She even missed the fucking subway line. She missed the smell of urine and fresh cut flowers on the sidewalk quick shops. She longed for her favorite cup of 50 cent coffee and eight dollar cigarettes. She missed the Muggles. She missed how no one cared. Now, forced to deal with all the things she tried to bury under countless paper piles of work and lost tourists, she was alone. She knew that she would never be truly alone but the pain of remembrance hurt her as much as it strengthened her.

He was a Death Eater. He turned his back when she needed him most. He hurt her. Sitting over her stacks of parchment, Maylin could not deny that she loved him. Deep down she knew she still trusted him. But there was something else keeping her a step behind.

He never spoke of the night she left him. He admitted that he worked for Voldemort, but instead of begging for forgiveness, he shut down. No words, no caring thoughts, he was filled with nothing. For what seemed like days she screamed and cried. She left him standing helpless and stone faced over the body of their child. The last thing she said to him before that night in the banquet hall continued to run through her mind.

"How could you?" She snapped with the bitter wind. "How could you stand by the side of evil? How can you stand there and feel nothing?" In her memories he looked into her eyes and for only a moment a single tear ran down his now weathered face. He said nothing, his mind blocked from hers, he turned and walked away. "It's like you never loved me," she yelled behind him. "It's like you never loved us!" His feet crunched on the frozen grass. "I hate you, Severus Snape - I hate you!" Severus Snape walked away. A second tear fell from his eye and he never spoke to her again.

Shaking her head, Maylin thoroughly read the lines of her latest assignment. It seemed to her that, for the most part, all of her students were performing at an acceptable rate. And, with the fifth years' O.W.L.'s coming up, that was a pleasing thought to her.

Maylin picked up her wand. "Melodius."

Music picked up in the background. It was a form of classical music, light and airy. Maylin shook her head. And the music around her seemed to automatically change station.

Baby, I can't stay, you got to roll me
And call me the tumblin' dice.

Rolling Stones, can't complain. Many a good times had to them. She'd by the band a round if she wasn't convinced that it just may kill them. She reminded herself to ask Severus what potion they had been feeding Keith Richard all these years. At this point in time he was most certainly not naturally aging; he'd have been dead by now. Thumbing through papers and scratchy penmanship Maylin was distracting by the yelping of what sounding like a bird.

Facing the door, Maylin heard a slight thud, and then silence. She glanced down at her papers but again, thud. Shaking her head, she moved from behind her desk, maneuvered across the room and opened the door.

A small pitch black carrier owl stood at her doorway. No more than a foot high it stared up at her with its large dark eyes. Maylin almost expected the creature to introduce itself. She poked her head out the door, looked left, then right, and then back at the funny little owl. It blinked and cocked its head to the side. Maylin opened the door fully. "Well please then, make yourself at home."

The owl stared for a moment blinked and flapped its way across the room and landed gently on her desk. Maylin shook her head again, this time making sure her brain was still in the right place. Taking a second to stare at the owl sitting quite comfortably on her desk, Maylin closed the door and started back the head of the room.

Placing herself in the chair she faced the owl and folded her hands on the desk. The owl stared back.

"So then - bird, what can I do for you?" The owl rustled its feathers for a moment and out of its thick coat produced a small rolled piece of paper. The owl placed it on the desk, picked it up with its beak and dropped it into Maylin's hand. Her eyes opened wide. "Thank you," she said nodding. The owl seemed to bow before her before taking to the air. It hovered before the window and before she could stand to open it, the panes flew open and bird disappeared. "What a lovely creature." She closed the window and turned to face her grading. The wind from the owl had done little damage to the haphazard organization she already had before her. Placing her things back in semi order Maylin sat back read the handwriting on the outside of the small rolled parchment. Her name was written in Snape's small yet fine handwriting.

May,

I have been summoned to Voldemort and I believe that it may be a while before I return. It seems that I must cancel our drink or five. I don't wish to sound grave but I think there may even be a chance I will not return at all. Should this be the case I've left something for you in my chambers. When you have the chance - please, take a look. I want you to know that these last few months have been lovely. To say that over the years I had not missed your warmth, your companionship and your mind would be a lie. Despite what we may think ourselves to be to one another, I have always loved you. You may never understand why I did what I did. You may never understand that what I did was the only way I could guarantee that at least one thing I loved wouldn't whither away and die. For almost fifteen years I've had to live with the knowledge and consequences of my actions. I hope that tonight you will finally understand. For all the pain I've caused; I'm sorry. And for all the suffering you never knew; I forgive you. For years I've wanted to sit by your side and tell you everything I'd done and why. But to do that would put you in an imminent and unbearable danger. Myself I could live without, but I could never risk you. You are my every dream, my favorite song, my favorite time of day. I could never tell you the things that have burned us for years...Now, I will simply show you. I love you, May. I always have, and through the light and darkness I will always love, and steadfastly always be in love with you. Wild horses, May. I love you.

-Severus.

As she rolled out the rest of the parchment, a thin piece of silver string fell into her hand. A memory. Startled by the suddenness of what she had just read, she breathed deep and fell back into her chair.

What could possibly make him believe he wouldn't come back? What the fuck is he doing there in the first place? Why the secrecy? Why the bird? Suffering? Pain? Apologies? What the hell is going on?

Moved and frustrated Maylin stood up from her desk. She couldn't think. She paced for a moment, her hand shook. She wanted to see the memory and at the same time, she didn't want to see a damn thing. She didn't know what she wanted. Wiping her eyes and without intention she opened her locked desk drawer with her fingertip and summoned the pack of cigarettes she had snuck in from her last trip to London. She carefully opened the window to face the crisp wintry afternoon. She calmly lit her cigarette and sat on the sill one leg in one leg out. Just like high school.

Thoughts drifted from her mouth in a thin plume of smoke intertwining with cool breeze. Leaning her head back into the window she glanced over the trees of the Forbidden Forest. It was beautiful. The perfectly structured landscapes hidden beneath a thick blanket of snow. The lake shrouded in an icy haze. Children below threw snowballs and made snow angels in the ground. She hated knowing their innocence. These children, she thought, had no idea of the danger outside of these protected invisible walls. Of course they told stories and gossiped about the dangers of the world around them, many had even witnessed the fear first hand, but it was nothing compared to the war raging outside of Hogwarts. Even if the battle between Voldemort and the rest of the Wizarding World found its way here, these children had protectors to fight for them, die for them. Once they left here they'd be sent off on their own. They were all so young. Even the oldest among them were still so young. The world out there, Muggle or magical didn't care about their hopes and dreams. The world out there would never stop for a moment to let them rest. But why should these children be any different? There was no net for those before her, no net for her when she needed it most. There would be no net for the innocent just as there has never been a net for the guilty.

She thought back to Severus's words. He forgave her. She left him, and he forgave her. Something was going on, someone was coming.

Knock. Knock.

Maylin faced the door. "Who is it?" she called.

A moment of silence. Not another bird.

"It's Harry ma'am."

Maylin smiled. It's open, Dear.