A Sparrow's Daughter
By Anlei
Chapter Six
Annabelle hesitated at the door to Norrington's study. Her hands idly clutched her apron, twisting the fabric. She could see the pale lamplight peeking out from the bottom of the door indicating that he was in there waiting for her as he promised. Not that she doubted his appearance but rather she hoped not to face him.
This is stupid! You're never going to get anywhere if you don't go inside! She berated herself internally. Taking a deep breath she knocked on his door.
"You may enter." His bored voice called from inside. Clutching the door knob she slowly stepped inside. He was seated in his favorite chair watching the flames dance in the fireplace. She stood in the middle of the room until he motioned for her to join him.
Sitting the chair she curiously turned to look at him. His mind was hardly on her presence. She wondered if he even remembered her sitting next to him. It did give her time to collect herself.
"Do you remember when you first came to my home, Anna?" He asked, suddenly interrupting her thoughts. His voice had lost all manner of authority and it stunned her a bit. He rarely let is guard down anymore and the fact that he had done so for her meant something.
"I remember." She replied.
He rested his elbows on either side of the chair and continued to watch the fire. "You were only thirteen then and I dare say quite afraid of me." His voice fell as he spoke.
"I wasn't afraid of you, sir." Annabelle replied warily. Norrington was in a strange mood and it was worrying her. She quickly scanned the room for signs of alcohol but there were none. He was not a man who drank often. The only time he did was during social gatherings and even so it was very little.
He gave a short smile before loosing himself in thought again. "Even so, I doubt you were very fond of me."
"I was afraid but not of you. You've been nothing but kind to me sir, and you have my thanks for giving me such care. Especially when you did not have to." Annabelle replied.
He momentarily glanced at her then returned his gaze to the fire, saying nothing. She began to feel something in the pit of her stomach. It was nervousness settling in and making itself comfortable. She didn't like the way he was acting in the slightest.
"Would you say that you are happy living in my home, Annabelle?" He asked, interrupting her thoughts. Happy? Of course she was happy. She had a home, she had food, good food, clean clothes, and a soft bed to sleep in a night. And she was paid to keep house for the Norringtons. There were many in Port Royale who desired such a job and wouldn't have the luck of getting one.
"Of course I am sir. Is there something I have done to cause you doubts?" She asked tentatively.
"No, my dear, you have done nothing. In fact sometimes I would think there is no other place you would rather be." He replied, standing up and moving toward the window. His eyes fixed themselves upon the moon and his hands clasped behind his back.
"One would find it hard in my status to find a better place to live than this, sir." She replied cautiously.
"Yet is there no other place you'd wish to be? No other life you would rather have?" He continued on as if he didn't hear her. The knot in Annabelle's stomach got tighter. She began to wonder if her reasons for speaking with him were no as secret as she thought.
"I can hardly think of another life that I would want to have. What other options is there, sir?" She asked, twisting fully in her chair to face him. He continued to stare out the window.
"Simple, dear child. You could have been married by now perhaps, even a mother. Or you could be among the many women who choose to sell themselves rather than live a respectable existence. You may not even be in Port Royale. Perhaps you would be somewhere else with your family had you not be so tragically orphaned." He said each word so nonchalantly, as if it made no consequence what he was saying. His voice was unnaturally cold and took a freezing stab to her heart with every letter.
Her heart began to pound in her chest and she began to realize that he was leading precisely in the direction she feared, her parentage. She wondered just what exactly he would do if he realized that she knew of her pirate lineage. Even worse, if he knew that her memories were returning to her.
"There are many lives that someone would wish to have but that does not change reality. I am like anyone else who has been orphaned and I do wish that I could be with my mother but thinking that way will only sadden me. I am happy where I am, that I do not have to degrade myself for the others and their money. I do mean these things I say." Her voice was earnest in the attempt to convince him of her sincerity.
He turned to look at her fully and his features seemed to melt into an expression of fatherly concern. "I know, you have never given me reason to distrust you."
Annabelle felt the knots in her stomach slowly unravel themselves. But she was not totally at ease. He had reasons for all these questions but what?
"I do believe that you are happy here and I would hope that could be attributed to my efforts to make you so. However, I understand that such is not enough, is it?" He asked, watching her face. He could almost see the point where her heart clutched in her chest.
He knew.
At least, that is how it seemed to Annabelle. He had to know otherwise these questions would not be asked. Perhaps he didn't know the entire truth but he knew enough to make those slowly unwinding knots tighten themselves again.
Swallowing hard she began to fist her fingers in her apron. "I do not wish for you to think me ungrateful, sir. I truly am grateful to be here." Her voice lowered to a whisper.
"Somehow, I do not believe you requested to speak with me on your happiness in my home this evening." He replied in a somewhat teasing manner.
"No, I did not." Annabelle found it harder and harder to make the words she wanted to say.
With a long sigh he replaced himself in the chair across from her. "Then you may tell me what it is you wished to say." He bade her to speak.
Annabelle didn't understand why this had to be so hard. He'd never truly given her reason to be afraid to speak to him if she needed too. Taking a deep breath she began.
"As I have said, I am ever grateful for the kindness you have given me. And I would not turn on this for any reason other than absolute need. But for seven years I've lived under your roof feeling like half a person. I have no connection to my past, only a few memories scattered about in my mind. I've tried to live this way and I've managed to do so for a long time but I cannot continue this way." Annabelle eye's bore deep into Norrington's and she prayed that he would understand what she tried to explain.
"I came to you tonight to ask for your permission to leave and be released of your service so that I may find those answers to my heritage." Having spoken what she needed to say Annabelle felt the weight lift off her shoulders for the moment.
For a few moments Norrington said nothing and looking very much the man his age. Rarely anyone could tell that he was in his early fifties because his features remained young despite his age. Yet, Annabelle noticed that the dim firelight seemed to amplify the deep creases in his skin.
"Should I choose to grant you this, where would you go? Do you even know where to begin looking? You cannot simply go in search of something, unsupervised no less, that you have no idea about? What exactly do you intend to do?" He asked.
Annabelle wished she knew how to answer. But she didn't. In fact, she hadn't put much thought into anything besides finding her father. She cursed herself for being so ill prepared. Her cheeks flushed sheepishly but she did not turn away. It was no the time to appear childish.
"I do not have much to go by but there a few places I could visit." She replied, trying desperately to not appear as if she hadn't planned anything.
"You would have me send you off, alone, to where?" He asked. She could hear the patience in his voice growing thin.
She opened her mouth to answer but found that she had nothing to reply.
"You do not know, do you?" Annabelle remained silent. This was rapidly going a way she had not foreseen. She watched him stare at her, cold, unrelenting, hiding the true concern he felt.
"I may not have all the answers but I must go! I'll accomplish nothing by just sitting here, please!" She was begging him now, seeing no other option.
Norrington leaned forward on his knees and looked sympathetically at her. "My dear girl just what do you hope to accomplish? It has been years since you arrived in Port Royale, and even longer since you were in Spain. You have little of your memories left and no one to claim you. It is highly unsafe for women to travel alone, especially to certain parts of the Caribbean and I can only imagine some of the other parts of the world you'd have to look! You have no idea what you want to look for. I'm afraid this idea unsafe and quite frankly I see no need for it."
Annabelle wanted to argue with him but what could she say? He was right that the idea was clearly dangerous and she had no way of protecting herself. Never the less his answer stung. Finding her past and her father meant so much to her and he seemed to take no notice of it. She felt hot tears stinging the back of her eyes and threatening to spill. Taking a deep breath she broke away from his gaze and fisted her hands. She heard him lean forward in the chair and felt him grasp her smaller hands with his larger ones.
She tried hard not to cry.
"I understand you, Anna." He began, hoping the use of the nickname would soothe her but he knew it wouldn't. "But you ask for something that simply cannot be done. I know it must be hard for you to never know here you have come from but perhaps its best you put those thoughts away and lived you new life as best you can." He released her hand and stood up, moving toward the dying candles. He began lighting others to keep the room from falling into darkness.
Annabelle swallowed her sob and forced herself to calm down as much as she could. She stood shakily with her head bowed. She didn't want him to see just how deeply she was hurting. "I understand, sir." She replied. "If I may I'd like to return to my room." She asked, forcing herself to look at him.
He turned and nodded to her, wanting to say more but feeling that anything would upset the girl far more than he would have liked. He felt a stab in his chest watching her shoulders shake but forced himself not to think of it. She bowed politely and began moving towards the door. Just as she was about to step into the hall he stopped her.
"Annabelle?" She turned and looked toward him, blinking heavily.
"I've said this only because I care for you and I would not want to see you hurt. It's best you forget about it." Even he inwardly cringed at his words but outside he remained as solid as stone. He watched her close her eyes and nod in understanding. She gave him a watery smile which only served to make him feel worse before stepping out the door and vanishing toward her room.
Instantly after, Norrington felt like a fool. He hadn't said anything but he knew more about Annabell's past then he lead on. He had kept his knowledge hidden from her not because he was a cruel man, but simply because he did not wish harm to come to her. If she knew she was a pirate she would go looking for pirates and he knew that would lead to Tortuga. People disappeared in Tortuga daily only to be found (if at all) washed up on the beach dead. Annabelle, while intelligent but still naïve, would only end up the same if she were not protected.
He felt truly horrible for denying her the only thing she had ever really asked of him. But had it been anything else he would have given it to her. Allowing her to discover her past was something he could and would not do. This was for her sake, he kept telling himself.
He had hoped that this pirate business would have dissolved long ago because of her lack of memory. He had no desire for anymore pirate run-ins than he needed because of being a commodore. But now it became clear that he could not escape it. He was bound to have pirates somewhat involved in his life. Little did Norrington know just how much they would become involved in the upcoming days.
By Anlei
Chapter Six
Annabelle hesitated at the door to Norrington's study. Her hands idly clutched her apron, twisting the fabric. She could see the pale lamplight peeking out from the bottom of the door indicating that he was in there waiting for her as he promised. Not that she doubted his appearance but rather she hoped not to face him.
This is stupid! You're never going to get anywhere if you don't go inside! She berated herself internally. Taking a deep breath she knocked on his door.
"You may enter." His bored voice called from inside. Clutching the door knob she slowly stepped inside. He was seated in his favorite chair watching the flames dance in the fireplace. She stood in the middle of the room until he motioned for her to join him.
Sitting the chair she curiously turned to look at him. His mind was hardly on her presence. She wondered if he even remembered her sitting next to him. It did give her time to collect herself.
"Do you remember when you first came to my home, Anna?" He asked, suddenly interrupting her thoughts. His voice had lost all manner of authority and it stunned her a bit. He rarely let is guard down anymore and the fact that he had done so for her meant something.
"I remember." She replied.
He rested his elbows on either side of the chair and continued to watch the fire. "You were only thirteen then and I dare say quite afraid of me." His voice fell as he spoke.
"I wasn't afraid of you, sir." Annabelle replied warily. Norrington was in a strange mood and it was worrying her. She quickly scanned the room for signs of alcohol but there were none. He was not a man who drank often. The only time he did was during social gatherings and even so it was very little.
He gave a short smile before loosing himself in thought again. "Even so, I doubt you were very fond of me."
"I was afraid but not of you. You've been nothing but kind to me sir, and you have my thanks for giving me such care. Especially when you did not have to." Annabelle replied.
He momentarily glanced at her then returned his gaze to the fire, saying nothing. She began to feel something in the pit of her stomach. It was nervousness settling in and making itself comfortable. She didn't like the way he was acting in the slightest.
"Would you say that you are happy living in my home, Annabelle?" He asked, interrupting her thoughts. Happy? Of course she was happy. She had a home, she had food, good food, clean clothes, and a soft bed to sleep in a night. And she was paid to keep house for the Norringtons. There were many in Port Royale who desired such a job and wouldn't have the luck of getting one.
"Of course I am sir. Is there something I have done to cause you doubts?" She asked tentatively.
"No, my dear, you have done nothing. In fact sometimes I would think there is no other place you would rather be." He replied, standing up and moving toward the window. His eyes fixed themselves upon the moon and his hands clasped behind his back.
"One would find it hard in my status to find a better place to live than this, sir." She replied cautiously.
"Yet is there no other place you'd wish to be? No other life you would rather have?" He continued on as if he didn't hear her. The knot in Annabelle's stomach got tighter. She began to wonder if her reasons for speaking with him were no as secret as she thought.
"I can hardly think of another life that I would want to have. What other options is there, sir?" She asked, twisting fully in her chair to face him. He continued to stare out the window.
"Simple, dear child. You could have been married by now perhaps, even a mother. Or you could be among the many women who choose to sell themselves rather than live a respectable existence. You may not even be in Port Royale. Perhaps you would be somewhere else with your family had you not be so tragically orphaned." He said each word so nonchalantly, as if it made no consequence what he was saying. His voice was unnaturally cold and took a freezing stab to her heart with every letter.
Her heart began to pound in her chest and she began to realize that he was leading precisely in the direction she feared, her parentage. She wondered just what exactly he would do if he realized that she knew of her pirate lineage. Even worse, if he knew that her memories were returning to her.
"There are many lives that someone would wish to have but that does not change reality. I am like anyone else who has been orphaned and I do wish that I could be with my mother but thinking that way will only sadden me. I am happy where I am, that I do not have to degrade myself for the others and their money. I do mean these things I say." Her voice was earnest in the attempt to convince him of her sincerity.
He turned to look at her fully and his features seemed to melt into an expression of fatherly concern. "I know, you have never given me reason to distrust you."
Annabelle felt the knots in her stomach slowly unravel themselves. But she was not totally at ease. He had reasons for all these questions but what?
"I do believe that you are happy here and I would hope that could be attributed to my efforts to make you so. However, I understand that such is not enough, is it?" He asked, watching her face. He could almost see the point where her heart clutched in her chest.
He knew.
At least, that is how it seemed to Annabelle. He had to know otherwise these questions would not be asked. Perhaps he didn't know the entire truth but he knew enough to make those slowly unwinding knots tighten themselves again.
Swallowing hard she began to fist her fingers in her apron. "I do not wish for you to think me ungrateful, sir. I truly am grateful to be here." Her voice lowered to a whisper.
"Somehow, I do not believe you requested to speak with me on your happiness in my home this evening." He replied in a somewhat teasing manner.
"No, I did not." Annabelle found it harder and harder to make the words she wanted to say.
With a long sigh he replaced himself in the chair across from her. "Then you may tell me what it is you wished to say." He bade her to speak.
Annabelle didn't understand why this had to be so hard. He'd never truly given her reason to be afraid to speak to him if she needed too. Taking a deep breath she began.
"As I have said, I am ever grateful for the kindness you have given me. And I would not turn on this for any reason other than absolute need. But for seven years I've lived under your roof feeling like half a person. I have no connection to my past, only a few memories scattered about in my mind. I've tried to live this way and I've managed to do so for a long time but I cannot continue this way." Annabelle eye's bore deep into Norrington's and she prayed that he would understand what she tried to explain.
"I came to you tonight to ask for your permission to leave and be released of your service so that I may find those answers to my heritage." Having spoken what she needed to say Annabelle felt the weight lift off her shoulders for the moment.
For a few moments Norrington said nothing and looking very much the man his age. Rarely anyone could tell that he was in his early fifties because his features remained young despite his age. Yet, Annabelle noticed that the dim firelight seemed to amplify the deep creases in his skin.
"Should I choose to grant you this, where would you go? Do you even know where to begin looking? You cannot simply go in search of something, unsupervised no less, that you have no idea about? What exactly do you intend to do?" He asked.
Annabelle wished she knew how to answer. But she didn't. In fact, she hadn't put much thought into anything besides finding her father. She cursed herself for being so ill prepared. Her cheeks flushed sheepishly but she did not turn away. It was no the time to appear childish.
"I do not have much to go by but there a few places I could visit." She replied, trying desperately to not appear as if she hadn't planned anything.
"You would have me send you off, alone, to where?" He asked. She could hear the patience in his voice growing thin.
She opened her mouth to answer but found that she had nothing to reply.
"You do not know, do you?" Annabelle remained silent. This was rapidly going a way she had not foreseen. She watched him stare at her, cold, unrelenting, hiding the true concern he felt.
"I may not have all the answers but I must go! I'll accomplish nothing by just sitting here, please!" She was begging him now, seeing no other option.
Norrington leaned forward on his knees and looked sympathetically at her. "My dear girl just what do you hope to accomplish? It has been years since you arrived in Port Royale, and even longer since you were in Spain. You have little of your memories left and no one to claim you. It is highly unsafe for women to travel alone, especially to certain parts of the Caribbean and I can only imagine some of the other parts of the world you'd have to look! You have no idea what you want to look for. I'm afraid this idea unsafe and quite frankly I see no need for it."
Annabelle wanted to argue with him but what could she say? He was right that the idea was clearly dangerous and she had no way of protecting herself. Never the less his answer stung. Finding her past and her father meant so much to her and he seemed to take no notice of it. She felt hot tears stinging the back of her eyes and threatening to spill. Taking a deep breath she broke away from his gaze and fisted her hands. She heard him lean forward in the chair and felt him grasp her smaller hands with his larger ones.
She tried hard not to cry.
"I understand you, Anna." He began, hoping the use of the nickname would soothe her but he knew it wouldn't. "But you ask for something that simply cannot be done. I know it must be hard for you to never know here you have come from but perhaps its best you put those thoughts away and lived you new life as best you can." He released her hand and stood up, moving toward the dying candles. He began lighting others to keep the room from falling into darkness.
Annabelle swallowed her sob and forced herself to calm down as much as she could. She stood shakily with her head bowed. She didn't want him to see just how deeply she was hurting. "I understand, sir." She replied. "If I may I'd like to return to my room." She asked, forcing herself to look at him.
He turned and nodded to her, wanting to say more but feeling that anything would upset the girl far more than he would have liked. He felt a stab in his chest watching her shoulders shake but forced himself not to think of it. She bowed politely and began moving towards the door. Just as she was about to step into the hall he stopped her.
"Annabelle?" She turned and looked toward him, blinking heavily.
"I've said this only because I care for you and I would not want to see you hurt. It's best you forget about it." Even he inwardly cringed at his words but outside he remained as solid as stone. He watched her close her eyes and nod in understanding. She gave him a watery smile which only served to make him feel worse before stepping out the door and vanishing toward her room.
Instantly after, Norrington felt like a fool. He hadn't said anything but he knew more about Annabell's past then he lead on. He had kept his knowledge hidden from her not because he was a cruel man, but simply because he did not wish harm to come to her. If she knew she was a pirate she would go looking for pirates and he knew that would lead to Tortuga. People disappeared in Tortuga daily only to be found (if at all) washed up on the beach dead. Annabelle, while intelligent but still naïve, would only end up the same if she were not protected.
He felt truly horrible for denying her the only thing she had ever really asked of him. But had it been anything else he would have given it to her. Allowing her to discover her past was something he could and would not do. This was for her sake, he kept telling himself.
He had hoped that this pirate business would have dissolved long ago because of her lack of memory. He had no desire for anymore pirate run-ins than he needed because of being a commodore. But now it became clear that he could not escape it. He was bound to have pirates somewhat involved in his life. Little did Norrington know just how much they would become involved in the upcoming days.