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The red handprint on her cheek still stung it probably always will. The hand that made it had thin, but soft bony fingers, with bitten nails and chipped black polish. That hand would never touch her again, no matter how much she wanted it. And it was all her fault.
Serenity lay on her bed, her eyes swollen and red from crying. Wet spots on her sheets from the tears. Her room was clean, as it always was; the only thing that had changed was her and the silver Bracelet that always lay on her vanity. And Jerri.
Serenity thought Jerri was beautiful. Her skin was a deep tannish color, almost like copper. Her ebony hair was medium length, just past her shoulders, that she always wore in a loose bun or a low ponytail. She always brushed her bangs back, but on the few times she forgot, they always hung right in front of her frosty grey eyes. She wasn't tall, but wasn't short, and had a beautiful shapely body.
And she was brave! Braver than Serenity thought she could ever be. She would walk up to a grown man and yell at him right in his face if he bumped into her or called her a name or something. She could clear and five-foot hedge with only one jump, while Serenity would just stay on the other side.
She was smart, too. She could recite the entire Gettysburg Address off the top of her head, and answered all game show questions right. She was funny, and kind, and perfect.
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Jerri didn't think so. She had a billion scars on her legs, from bug bites and cuts that she picked and scratched too much. Her hair was boring. It took her since she was five to grow it out that long. Her bangs were annoying and pointless. Her eyes were grey, but she had to wear glasses, so people didn't notice them. Her height was awkward, she said. And she wasn't shapely. Which is why she always wore baggy shirts and the occasional tight pair of jeans.
She wasn't brave, she said. She wasn't able to look her father in the eye. She would spend all day in the bathroom if she overheard a boy saying she was ugly. She shrank away from the popular girls at school. And when they went to the Amusement Park, she refused to go onto the roller coasters, unless they didn't rise more than seven feet in the air and took under a minute.
I'm not smart, she would say. She's barley passing math, and she got a C- in English because she talked back to her teachers. And she never, ever did her homework.
She said she wasn't funny, kind, and certainly not perfect.
Serenity thought she was. They would always hang out in her room after school, laughing and joking around. Jerri would try on Serenity's clothes while Serenity did her homework. They would laugh, and Serenity would tell her she looked beautiful, and Jerri would deny it. Then she would help Serenity out with her homework. She always got it done faster when Jerri was around.
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
Sometimes they would talk about her brother. She had a duel deck, but she didn't spend hours shopping for rare cards, and only strategize a game plan when she had an upcoming duel. Jerri loved Joey. Serenity loved Jerri. She longed to tell her this. She wanted to tell her Joey wasn't right for her, that he couldn't love her the way she could. Whenever she talked about Joey, Serenity actually hated her brother. She hated him for being the person who Julia loved. She loved him for everything else, but she hated him for her.
But Serenity loved Jerri. She didn't want to hurt her. So she pretended to support her. And soon, this pretending got her to hate her brother even more, for not being in love with her. She knew he was in love with Mai. Serenity liked Mai, but she wasn't Jerri. She wasn't beautiful like her. She wasn't perfect like her. But Joey loved Mai. And Serenity began to hate Mai too, because of Jerri. But it was because of Serenity that she left.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
The bracelet-- Jerri gave it to her. It had 'SERENITY' engraved in it. Serenity never wore it. She bought it for her when they had gone downtown to a street fair. Serenity didn't know she had bought it. She was so happy when, in front of her house, Jerri reached into her bag and pulled it out in a white silk bag. Serenity nearly told her what she felt. But she didn't. Instead, she gave her a quick hug, whispered a thank you, and then raced up the stairs. She cried and laughed in her room.
Jerri was a year older than her. Neither of them minded. Serenity always told Tristan to leave her alone. She would smile every now and then at Duke, but she didn't want him either. She wanted her.
And today she finally told her, after nearly a year. She hadn't gone to school today, for a reason she couldn't remember now. Jerri had come over at exactly 3:30, like always after school. She set her bag down on the chair, and handed Serenity her homework. Serenity sat at her desk and did her work, while Julia tried on the new clothes Serenity had gotten yesterday. It was routine. The routine Serenity loved.
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
Then Joey had called Jerri for something. Serenity didn't know what. She didn't even hear what he said. She just saw the smile spread across Jerri's face.
She had to do something. So she grabbed her arm and looked up into her eyes. She told her everything. How she loved her, how she always had, how she didn't want her with her brother, how she wanted Jerri to love her back. And then, breathless, she leaned foreword and kissed her.
Two seconds later, Jerri had recoiled. She raised her hand and slapped the girl across the cheek. She pushed her back onto the bed, then turned and walked out of the door in Serenity's new short pink skirt and yellow short-sleeved belly shirt. She forgot to take her bag. She remembered to take the bracelet.
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
And Serenity had cried. And she was still crying now, her entire body rocking with her sobs. She cuddled her pillow and rubbed her face against it to ease the pain. It didn't work.
Joey came to the door. "Serenity? What's tha' matter?"
She hated him. And she cried more, as he tried coming closer to her. "Why did Jerri leave so fast?"
She threw her pillow at him. "Go." She managed to choke out. "Leave me alone."
"Are you sure? I could get Duke or Tristan or somethin'."
"No!" She screamed, burying her face in her pink sheets, which she hated. He looked at her sadly and left.
She didn't know how much time had passed. Maybe an hour. Maybe more. She finally climbed out of her bed. It was only to retrieve her pillow. But then she caught sight of Jerri's black handbag, with the letter J in the middle in silver. Serenity wanted to cry again. So, so badly. Instead, she reached out and took if off the chair, dumping its contents out on her rug.
A brush. A purple wallet. A set of keys. A mirror and a tube of pale lip gloss. A cell phone. A crumpled up science test that had a big red D on the top. A CD player, with a Blink 182 CD inside.
Every time I try to fly
I fall without my wingsI feel so small
I guess I need you baby
A bag. A bag marked "From J." And inside was a white Teddy Bear with a pink nose and ears, with a thin gold chain holding Serenity's birthstone on the end of it. There was a tag attached too, reading "Happy Birthday, Serenity!" In Jerri's loopy cursive.
Serenity blinked. That's right. It was her birthday. That's why she had stayed home. She was now Jerri's age, and would be until she turned sixteen in three months.
So she started crying again. She cried and clutched the Teddy Bear and cried. How could she be so stupid? About everything. What would her brother do if he knew? Why did she have to run away? It was her fault. She had no right to ruin such a friendship. She should have just left it where it was; just ignored her feelings, and then everything would be all right. Then she wouldn't be crying on the floor right now. She would be just finishing her homework, turning around to see Jerri holding out the bag, with a smile on her face and a--
"Happy Birthday."
Everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
She looked up. Her watery brown eyes met with Jerri's grey ones through the lenses of her glasses.
"You're fifteen now."
Serenity raised a hand to feel her cheek. Her tear coated eyelashes closed then opened, as she lowered her head again, speaking in a hoarse whisper. "You left your bag."
"You went through it." A hint of amusement in her voice.
Tears stung at her eyes again. Why was she acting this way? It was probably a joke. Her brother probably put her up to it.
She felt Jerri sit down next to her. "Serenity," she said, closing her eyes and leaning against the foot of the bed. "Why do you love me?"
Serenity looked up again. Jerri had changed into an oversized black t-shirt, but still wore the pink skirt beneath it.
Her mouth opened but no sound came out. She blinked again as a tear slid down her face. Jerri turned to look at her.
She smiled.
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorryAnd Serenity found her voice. "You're beautiful. You're smart, and funny. You're kind, and athletic. You're everything. You're perfect."
Jerri reached over and placed her hand over Serenity's. The same nail bitten, chipped black polished hand that had slapped her nearly two hours before.
"I'm not beautiful. I'm not smart. I'm not funny, or kind, or athletic. And I'm not perfect."
She leaned closer, her bangs falling into her eyes. "You are."
Then she placed her lips on hers.
Serenity wanted to cry again. She wanted to laugh, and scream, and dance in joy. But the kiss seemed to express all that. She felt something slide onto her arm.
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
They broke apart and she held up her hand, seeing the silver SERENITY bracelet locked around her wrist. She smiled and reached out to finger Jerri's bangs. Jerri didn't toss her head to make them fall back like she usually did.
"I'll wear them both all the time. The bracelet and the necklace."
"Thank you." She took Serenity's hand in her own. "When I got home, I realized two things. One, I didn't have my keys, and two, I couldn't leave you. No matter how badly I felt towards you at the moment, I couldn't just walk out. How I acted, that was stupid. I guess it was just my surprise.
"So I sat down on my porch. Even if I hated the idea of you loving me, I realized I couldn't go the rest of my life without you. It's only been a year, Serenity, but I feel- no, I wish I had known you forever. Then maybe I would have reacted better."
Her hand tightened around hers.
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
"I couldn't have left you with the memory of me and you at our worst. So then I tried thinking of a solution. Why we couldn't be together. But you know what, Serenity? I couldn't find any. No matter how much I tried." She turned and smiled again." I must have looked like an idiot, sitting there talking to myself. I finally got up and took the spare keys we have hidden under the fifth stone to the left on the front walk. I opened the door, and on my answering machine, I found two messages from your brother. The first one was reminding me about your surprise party they're probably still setting up now, and the other was asking what was wrong with you. I deleted them both, then realized, why would I waste my time trying to get him, when I already have you?"
Serenity didn't speak, just sat there in happiness. After a while, she turned her head and spoke softly. "You don't have me."
Jerri blinked. "What?"
"You have to catch me!"
She sprang to her feet and ran out of the room, laughing as she skidded around a corner and ran down the hall. She could hear Jerri laugh and run after her, her bare feet following her exact path. She chased her around the top part of the house; the tear stains on Serenity's cheeks slowly disappearing.
They both pounded down the stairs, Serenity halting to a stop as she reached to doorway of the dining room. A huge cake, with pink icing lacing the sides, was surrounded by all her friends and family, all of them beaming at her. Jerri stepped next to her. "Go on." She whispered, kissing her on the cheek. Serenity nodded and smiled, her silver bracelet gleaming in the light of the candles.
Her Silver Bracelet.
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby-----------------------------------------
There it was. Just to let you know, I don't like Britney Spears. The song just fit so well, I had to put it.
I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.