Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy
Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.
A/N: Alas, this is the final chapter for Crazy. For those of you wondering about the chapter number, although there were 30 chapters posted on the now defunct 55 David, this is the same story except for the merging of several chapters and some minor edits.
For those of you who are reading it for the second time, I hope you have enjoyed it as much as the first.
To everyone else, I hope you enjoy the conclusion, so please let me know what you think
Once again, thank you for your wonderful reviews.
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"Someone
HELP!" Sully screams frantically at the top of his lungs.
His
quivering hands hesitate before grabbing hold of Bosco's shoulders
and shaking him hard.
"You can't do
this to me," he says angrily and then as if sensing the gravity of
the situation repeats the phrase with a quiet desperation, "you
can't do this to me...again."
Sully
stops to eye Bosco, but it's not who he sees. He looks up at the
sky with a pleading look. "Please, don't let this happen," his
voice quivers with untold emotion as he closes his eyes against the
tears.
Bosco moans and wheezes weakly as
his body revolts against the wet iciness clinging to his body.
"Davis..." Sully whispers hopefully
as he turns his eyes back towards Bosco's prone body. He stares in
stunned silence as he realizes this is not Davis, and Davis is never
coming back.
"Sully - the ambulance is
on its way." Faith shouts as she rushes towards them. She's
clutching Sully's coat that he left on the shore when he waded into
the water. She stares at them and hurriedly throws the coat over
Bosco as she reaches down and feels his forehead and cheek.
"He's
freezing," she states in silent disbelief.
Sully
seems to be in his own world and doesn't react to her statement.
"Sully. Sully!" Faith grabs his arm
until he turns towards her. "We need to lift him off the ground."
She stares back into Sully's confused eyes and then adds, "he's
too cold," as the explanation for her request.
Sully
nods and pulls at Bosco roughly. Bosco moans and his breath hitches
slightly and he grimaces with each movement.
"Take
it easy, Sul." Faith says gently before placing the coat under
Bosco and nodding for Sully to lower him back to the ground. Faith
grabs the ends of the oversized coat and wraps it tightly against
Bosco. She pulls the hood up over his head and notices the ice
particles forming in his hair and how violently he is shaking.
"Sully, go up there and wait for the
ambulance." Faith juts her chin up to signal where Sully should
wait. He stares at her in confusion.
"Sul,
you need to show the paramedics where we are, ok?"
"Yeah...okay,"
he murmurs.
Faith watches him as he
shakily makes his way over the embankment. She turns her eyes back to
Bosco who is having more difficulty breathing as each breath comes in
short bursts.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Sound
and the light weave their way into my consciousness and pull me back
to the world. The rushing sound invading my ears reminds me of the
river as it rises to a frenzied crescendo. I try to jerk away from
the darkness but with increasing wakefulness comes intense pain. It
is so dizzying that it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live. It hurts
to allow myself to feel what I buried under a thousand layers of
denial. I fight to stay afloat even as I feel myself sinking back
into the darkness.
Hands grab on to me
and shake me awake as they force their essence into my body. How do I
tell them? How do I tell them I can feel again and that's its
killing me.
These hands are rough as they
grab my shoulders and push and pull me. There is anger and
overwhelming fear in them. I know this is Sully. I understand that he
needs to let me go for his own sake, or his fear will kill him.
More hands, but these are soft and
gentle. They exude compassion and worry, like my mother. But there
are not my mother's. Faith. Her warmth helps to still me for a
moment before the fear and anger, the compassion and worry meld into
my body and join the warring emotions battling to emerge from the
prison of my soul.
The images and
memories come in waves. The pain follows in torrents and I am
drowning from the inside
out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Sully paces nervously in the waiting
room. We've been here for quite a while and still no word on Bosco.
Sully stops suddenly and makes a move towards the trauma room. One of
the orderlies posted outside holds out his hand and prevents Sully
from entering.
"He's my partner,"
Sully pants. "He's my partner, I can't leave him." Sully's
eyes dart around pleadingly for someone to help.
"We'll
take good care of him, but you need to wait out here so we can work,"
the orderly explains calmly. This is the third time Sully's tried
to go into the room in the last 20 minutes.
The
orderly motions in my direction as a signal for help and I walk over
to them as he grabs Sully's arm and turns him towards me. "You
and your friend can wait out here and we'll come out and give you
information as soon as we can," he says softly.
I
take hold of Sully's arm and pull him but he resists. "Sul, they
need to work and we'll only get in the way." He refuses to look
away from the door of the trauma room.
"They'll
kill him...he won't make it. You don't understand, I need to stop
it," he mutters incoherently.
I pull
even harder at his arm but Sully refuses to budge and instead, he
attempts to return to the room.
The
orderly and I manage to restrain him but when Bosco's groans become
agonizingly loud, Sully pushes past the both of us and into the room.
"Take your hands off him," Sully
shouts to one of the nurses holding Bosco down by the shoulders.
The doctor looks up and yells to the
orderly, "get him out of here, now."
Sully
makes a move towards the nurse who seems to recognize Sully. "I
said, let – him- go," Sully says menacingly.
Bosco
is struggling to remove the oxygen mask from his face although he's
still shaking and trembling uncontrollably despite the interventions
of the doctors and nurses.
The orderly
grabs at Sully who fights him off. A couple of security guards run in
and restrain Sully who is losing control. I try to intervene. "Sul,
please, they're trying to help him. We need to wait outside."
"They're killing him. Can't you see
it?" He yells desperately and struggles against all of us.
In
the ensuing confusion, I don't notice Mrs. Boscorelli entering the
room followed by a young man. "What's wrong with Maurice," she
cries out to the doctor. I stop to look at her as she reaches out for
her son.
"Who are you?" Asks the
doctor.
"I'm his mother."
"Mrs.
Boscorelli, please stop them. They're killing him." Sully sobs to
her as he's being pulled out of the room forcefully.
Mrs.
Boscorelli looks from Sully to the doctor as another orderly tries to
escort her out of the room.
The young man
who accompanied her moves silently to Bosco's side while everyone
else is distracted. He takes Bosco's hand and smoothes back the
hair off his forehead before leaning in and whispering something to
him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The emptiness inside of my body fills. It
fills with the ache that comes with my fight to live with every
breath that I take in. I try to limit the amount of oxygen in order
to stem the tide of pain ripping through me. But the more it hurts
the more air I need.
I must be in a
hospital because the hands touching me feel clinical. There are many
hands but they don't comfort me and they don't ease my pain.
I
try to remove the mask that covers my mouth and supplies me with
fresh oxygen. It hurts to breathe; it hurts to be alive again. I need
to slow it down.
Hands hold me down, but
these hands are not like the others. They are full of annoyance and
indifference. They remind me of her, that crazy nurse from my last
visit. I want her away from me. I want her to let me go. I struggle
but her hands overpower me.
Someone is
shouting. Someone is scared. I can feel it all around me. I can feel
the fear and I need someone who can make it stop.
The
air in the room thickens with emotion. I continue to struggle, trying
not to breathe too much. I can't take on this new pain. I need
someone to take away some of my pain.
Hands
settle on me but this time they are different. These hands know.
These hands accept my pain. The hands understand my guilt. I struggle
to open my eyes.
I'm allowed to raise
my hand to my face. These hands understand as they reach out and pull
the mask away for me. I slow down my breathing and struggle to regain
control but the pain is constant.
I hear
a nurse asking me, "Where does it hurt?"
My
eyes focus until I can make him out. I don't even try to speak
because he understands, he knows.
He
places his hand over his heart as he stares into my eyes. Yes, that's
where it hurts. He knows...and he feels it too.
I
eye the dusty fields in the distance and watch the heat shimmering
off the burnt earth as we march back to camp. The days here seem
endless. They are a never-ending parade of waking up tired,
patrolling to exhaustion, constant hunger and thirst, and sleeping
restlessly.
The heat and
dustiness of this place overpowers all of us and saps us of our
strength. The constant tension of waiting for something to happen is
taking its toll. I trudge behind Stevie and although I know I
shouldn't, my mind drifts to the number of days we have left in
this tour and I begin to calculate silently.
I
should be paying attention to my surroundings because this area is
new for our squad and it's our first march in this sector.
A
village appears up ahead and I notice the quietness that surrounds
it. My eyes are automatically drawn to the gathering at the center of
the village.
A body lies on
a wooden structure. As we near I notice it is an elderly woman. The
villagers line up around the body as each one in turn pays their last
respects.
A small girl
captures my attention as she sobs and clutches the dead woman before
kissing her repeatedly on the lips and hands. Her parents try to
comfort her with gentle strokes on her back. She finally tears
herself away and turns towards us.
She
tries bravely to hide her sorrow from us by pursing her lips as she
sniffles to hold back the tears. Her small hand swipes at her cheeks
and I watch her strength evaporate, as the villagers begin to chant
their last goodbyes before lighting the funeral pyre.
I
stop and stare as I'm taken back to my own childhood. To the death
of my grandmother and the pain it caused me. I can still remember
every moment from the time my mom broke the news to Mikey and me to
the time Ma and Pa got home from the funeral.
I
had never cried so much in my whole life and I probably never will
again.
I feel those
memories resurfacing until I can almost smell the fragrance of my
grandmother's perfume. I feel hot tears forming and I try to blink
them away. I spot the little girl watching me intently and I look
down to avoid her gaze as I slow my pace down to distance myself from
the rest of the guys because they wouldn't understand.
A
tear escapes my eyes and rolls down my cheek. I tell myself it's
just the fatigue playing games with my mind and emotions. I can't
help but pull my helmet off and stare at the pictures of Ma and
Mikey. I miss them so much and I feel utterly alone at this very
moment. I bite my lower lip to keep from breaking down right here and
now.
I exhale slowly as I
place the helmet back on my head and look up towards the little girl.
She seems to know, to understand my thoughts. I can't explain it
but I feel like I've known her all my life.
She
stars at me as she wraps her arms around herself. I watch her
shoulders shake as she hiccups from her crying.
I
take my right hand and place it over my over my heart because I know
she's hurting and I understand her pain and I want her to know
she's not alone.
She nods
in response and then places her own small hand over her heart. I feel
like she looking right through, that she sees everything I feel, that
I am not alone. Slowly she turns back towards the ceremony.
I
look for my unit and I see Stevie watching me. He waits for me to
catch up and when I rejoin him he doesn't say a word and we march
silently back to camp.
I hear myself
moaning with each small breath. I hear the wheezing of the air
through my throat as I fight to control my breathing. The grief that
I never allowed myself to feel is flooding into my body. Taking over
the space between every cell and every breath. Constricting my lungs,
burning through my flesh, tearing my soul.
I
try to move my hand but my movements are jerky and clumsy. Stevie
understands and takes hold of my wrist and places my hand over my
heart and that's when I feel the floodgates open.
The
pain is too intense. Every thought generates another long forgotten
memory and allows it to float to the surface before another one
replaces it.
Remember this...the
children clapping joyfully as they sing...Squirt's brother trying
my helmet on for size and the way it keeps falling over his
eyes...Squirt's crooked grin when she looks back and sees me signal
that I have one more piece of chocolate for her...the villagers
gathering solemnly as we march past the village...Stevie laughing
heartily as my Sarge reams me out for lagging behind the unit...Squirt,
gingerly placing her hand in mine to slip me the necklace she made
for me... the sun glistening off the river as the children play
happily...the bloodstains on her dress...the echo of her screams...the
feel of her hand.
Every memory hurts,
both the good and the bad.
I thought I
could beat him at his own game. I thought I could stop him.
I
was wrong.
I am wrong.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I
am disoriented by the juxtaposition of light and dark, hot and cold,
dull ache and searing pain. Just like in my dream, just like in real
life, I am helpless to stop it; I am helpless to fight it.
I
struggle to steady my breathing. Each rush of air brings more pain,
more sadness, and more memories. I hear someone crying softly and I
strain to listen. I feel a shiver run through me when I realize it's
me.
I take a slow shuddering breath and
feel a hand at the back of my neck. For the first time in a long
time, it doesn't scare me. This thought alone causes me to cry
harder and I don't even attempt to hold back the tears. I can't.
I can't because he's still with me,
no matter what I said or what I did, he would never leave me. He
would never desert me. Just like when I was in the hospital over
there, Stevie would not leave my side, he would not let me go.
Now
like then, he has become my voice when I can't speak. I hear him
ordering people around, protecting me from the interventions that
won't help because he knows my needs, and he feels my pain.
I
try to speak but before I can make a sound I feel him squeeze my hand
and call to me.
I try to swallow, I try
to tell him, but all I can manage is a nod of my head as I choke on
my tears.
"Bosco, I promise. I won't
tell you. Please believe me...I won't tell you again." Stevie's
words float over me and soothe me. I need him to know that he doesn't
have to keep his promise.
I hear myself
groan pitifully as I try to speak. I stare up and see the sadness in
his eyes. Suddenly, I feel the weight of the world lifting off my
shoulders as I realize I am not alone in my grief.
My
eyesight blurs and my mind reels with the images of him looming over
me as I remember lying helplessly on the ground, with the sound of
helicopter blades slicing through the dusty air.
I
made him promise not to tell me what he saw and he never asked me
why, or what happened. Not once. He never allowed anyone to question
me. He did his best to do what I asked of him. No matter how much he
was hurting.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose rubs Bosco's arm while Stevie
rests uncomfortably in the chair by the bed.
Bosco
continues to sob quietly as his breaths shudder slightly. Rose pushes
back his damp hair from his forehead. She stares at him and wonders
how he seems to be inconsolable even in his sleep.
"Shhhh...baby,
please don't cry...don't..." Rose coos to him gently.
Her
thoughts turn back to the day at his apartment, when his harsh words
hurt her deeply.
"I know you didn't
mean what you said...I know you were hurting, baby." Rose caresses
his cheek and hopes her words are getting through to him.
"You
said you wished you had never been born. I want you to know that the
day you were born was the happiest day of my life." Rose says as
she wipes a tear from her cheek.
"You
are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You hear me Maurice?
The best thing, and I don't know what I would do without you.
Please, please come back to me. Don't leave me. Don't ever leave
me." Rose cries softly and lays her head on Bosco chest. She just
needs to hear his heart beating. She needs to know he's here with
her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bosco's
dreams frighten him. His sweat soaked body writhes and twists from
his invisible demons. His breathing becomes laboured every time he is
in the throes of another nightmare.
Mrs.
Boscorelli wipes his face with a wet cloth. She refuses to leave his
side and so do I. He needs me more than he ever has, and I need him
to be okay. I need him to be okay because I should have never let him
go out that day by himself.
It's really
childish now that I think about it. I was mad at him because whenever
he got in trouble, we both got punished. So, we both got put on
latrine duty because he just couldn't keep his big mouth shut. And
as usual, I was guilty by association.
So,
after cleaning out the latrines on the previous day, I vowed that I
wouldn't hang out with him as much. When the airport pick-up duty
became available, I made sure I was busy with something else. Bosco,
of course, jumped at the opportunity to get away from our camp. I
knew he would make a stop at the village when he went around asking
everyone for their chocolate rations.
The
worst thing about it all was that I ate my chocolate before he had a
chance to ask me for it. I was acting like a spoiled brat and he had
no clue.
When the call came in later that
day that he never made it to the airport, I was afraid that I'd
never see him again. But I got lucky, and I was the one who found him
all bloodied and broken not far from the village.
I
was afraid he would die right there in my arms. But if there's one
thing I can say about Maurice Boscorelli, it's that he's the
toughest son-of-a bitch that I've ever known and dying in that God
forsaken land, as he liked to call it, was not an option.
I
move closer to the bed and reach out to try and ease his pain. I take
hold of his hand and watch him turn his face towards me. His eyes
flicker open and search before settling on me. It reminds of the way
he looked when I found him that day.
Then
as in now, I would have promised him anything. I would have done
anything to make sure he was okay because in the end, it was partly
my fault that he was out there on his own.
And
in my mind, there was no greater sin than breaking my pact to him. We
had promised to never desert each other no matter how bad things got.
I never realized that it would not be during a fierce battle when
fear and the survival instinct takeover that I would go back on my
word but during an ordinary day, with nothing special happening,
because of petty anger and spitefulness.
I
feel a tear escape and roll down my cheek. My shame forces me to try
and pull away from him but his grip is strong and he refuses to let
me go.
"S-Stay," he whispers softly
then turns to his mother, he tries to utter another word but is
overcome and is incapable of speaking again. He pulls my hand over
his chest and holds it there as he closes his eyes and lets the tears
flow freely.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
My
dreams are invaded by darkness and fear. But, I know they are just
dreams. This is the last battleground for my soul.
I
am pulled down by grotesque images, evil faces, distorted landscapes,
and blackened souls reaching for me, dragging me down, pulling me
under.
I struggle to emerge from this
endless void but fighting them doesn't help. Giving in to them
doesn't make a difference.
Grief
overtakes me and allows some release from the dreams but not from the
pain. It comes and goes, immense as the ocean tides, as small as the
touch of a hand.
I'm asleep and awake
all at the same time. Dreams, memories and reality intertwine to
create a new consciousness as I am caught between past and present. I
still need someone to pull me put of here. I can't do it alone.
A
wet cloth cleanses me while my mother tries to heal my hurts. I need
her here by me. I need to her to guide me away from the darkness. She
speaks to me in hushed whispers. I don't need to hear the words but
I feel her love.
Stevie's here but he
tries to pull away. I hold on, I can't let him go. He knows my
pain. He feels my guilt and I feel his. He needs me to forgive him
and I will. I'll do anything to keep him here by me. He keeps my
head above the water. He keeps from the depths of the river. He keeps
me alive.
I push my eyes open and search for him. He looks like he did that day. When he found me, he held me so close that I could feel him willing me to live, protecting me from the evil, loving me despite what I had become.
I
pull his hand over my heart. He is the reason I'm still here. I
close my eyes and remember floating over the river, looking down at
it from the helicopter as Stevie cradled me in his arms. For that one
tiny instant I felt human again.
For the
first time in a long time, I feel human again as I reach out for
help, for forgiveness, for understanding, and for comfort from
another person. He doesn't pull away and he lets me take what I
need. He pulls me out of the murkiness once more.
My
moans turn to sobs. Hot, stinging tears burning tracks on my cheeks
as I feel him take my pain. He holds me tightly and I hear him
whisper, "I know, Bosco...I know."
--------------------------------------------------------
I bounce nervously as I listen for sounds. My blood seizes as I hear shuffling and the locks turning. I'm not so sure I can go ahead with this anymore. I don't want to hurt him.
Sully swings the door open and stares at me in surprise before speaking. "Uh, hi Bosco. I...uh....how are you feeling?"
I clear my throat and shuffle nervously. "Good. I'll be back on patrol tomorrow."
Sully grunts before getting a worried look on his face.
I make the first move. "Can I come in?" I ask tentatively.
"Oh, yeah...sure." Sully looks slightly embarrassed as he moves away from the door and allows me to enter his apartment.
I stand in the entrance and wait for him to close the door. I feel the need to jam my hands into my pockets and turn away from him as I take another deep breath.
"You want something to drink?" He offers.
"No," I shake my head, "I'm not staying long. I need to talk to you about tomorrow." There I finally got it out, but I still feel extremely nervous because I'm not sure if this is gonna work.
"Uh...yeah...tomorrow." Sully mumbles and moves to take a seat on his couch.
I shuffle around nervously and stare at the wilting wallpaper in front of me. I put my game face and slouch indifferently as I turn to face him.
"Yeah, we gotta get a few things straightened out before we ride together again," I say in my best bratty, arrogant voice. I see Sully's eyebrows shoot up instantly at my tone.
"First, I'm not taking anymore of your crap. You hear me? I'm not Maurice to you, I'm Bosco and I'm not your little errand boy, running to fetch your donuts and coffee."
Sully looks like he's about to speak but I cut him off before he can get a word out. I have to strike again while the iron is hot and before I lose my resolve.
"And while you're at it, you should try losing some weight because I don't wanna be seen with a fat ass while I'm out patrolling the streets."
Sully doesn't even look phased by what I've said. He doesn't take my bait.
"Bosco, is this about the night at the river." Sully looks down at his feet and clasps his hands nervously. "I shouldn't have hit you. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I'm sorry."
I see the guilt and shame in his eyes. He won't let me go. He wants to make amends. He still wants to be my partner. I turn away from him as I realize he wants to keep his promise to me no matter what it will do to him. I see the irony of the situation as I finally found someone who won't abandon me. But, I won't let him go through with it. I can't do that to him. So, I harden myself against his selflessness and ram into him at full speed.
"Sorry ain't gonna cut it. I need a partner I can trust, and I can see that you're not the one. Maybe I should ask your previous partner."I
watch Sully's expression change at the mention of Davis. "Why you
ungrateful little brat." Sully lunges for me and slams me up
against the wall.
"I warned you, Sully.
Don't you touch me," I say angrily. "You're not my father.
You're just an old, lazy cop trying to stay out of trouble until
you get to your pension."
"Yeah, well
if I was your father, I would have beat the crap out of you just like
he did." Sully yells bitterly.
And
with that, I know I have him hooked. I swallow hard, hoping my voice
won't betray me. "Well, you're not my father so take a number
if you wanna have a crack at me."
Sully
pushes himself away and rakes his hand through his hair. I can see
his hands trembling slightly and I try to steady my breathing by
focussing on peeling wallpaper.
Sully's
voice is low and threatening as he starts to talk. "It's over
between us. I'll tell Lieu –"
I
don't let him finish. "Don't bother. I'm gonna go see him
later today and get this settled. You don't have to ride with me
anymore."
I back away quickly and turn
the doorknob before walking out without as much as a look back. I
don't even bother to close the door behind me as I rush to leave. I
feel my eyes fill with tears and I swallow a sob as I run down the
stairs. I won't let him see me cry...I'll never let him know how
much this hurt me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I
look for Faith at the park. Fred said the kids were antsy from being
cooped up so Faith took them out for a while.
I
spot them making snow angels. I walk slowly, not wanting to disturb
them. They giggle and laugh as they look back at their creations.
Faith sees me approaching and stands
first. "You guys keep making angels, I'll be right here." Faith
walks towards me as pull my coat collar tighter against my neck.
"Hey, what's up?" She asks as she
laughs and looks back at Emily and Charlie.
"I
wanted to thank you for helping me...you know..." I avert my eyes
from her gaze but she senses my nervousness and doesn't question me
about what happened at the river that day.
"How
are you feeling?" She asks as she glances back at her kids.
"Good. But, I came by to talk to you
about work. I was wondering if you needed a new partner now that
Washington is retiring." I look up at her and wonder if I look as
desperate as I sound.
"What about
Sully?" She asks confused.
I look down
at my feet and push the snow around from one side to the other.
"Uh,
that was just temporary... for my probation. I need to get a new
partner now that my six months are up." I bite my lower lip, as I
lie right to her face.
"I guess we'll
need to clear it with Lieu first, but I'm okay with that." She
says matter-of-factly.
I let out a slow
breath and feel relief wash over me. I can't help but smile. "Okay,
I'll go talk to him about it."
"We'll
go together. Okay?"
I nod. "Alright,
tomorrow, before the shift."
"Don't
be late." She teases.
"I won't."
Charlie and Emily come running and
crashing into us as they giggle uncontrollably.
"Whoa,
guys." Faith laughs heartily as she helps them stay upright in
their bulky snowsuits.
I clear my throat
before speaking. "Faith is it okay to give them something." I try
to motion so she understands before I pull my goodies out for them.
"Yeah. Sure." She nods and looks down
at Charlie and Emily. "They could use a treat."
I
crouch down and pull out two chocolate bars from my coat pocket.
"Here's one for you, Charlie and one for you Emily." I hold
them out and they both look at their mom before accepting the
chocolates.
"Thanks, Uncle Bosco,"
they cry out joyously. Emily takes a step towards me and throws her
arms around my neck. I don' know why I'm so surprised by her
affection but I don't even hesitate to pull her close and whisper a
thank you in her ear.
She pulls away with
a mischievous grin on her face as her hand snakes into my pocket and
searches for more.
"Emily, stop that.
That's not nice." Faith scolds her laughingly.
"No,
that's okay." I tell Faith as she pulls Charlie and Emily away
from me.
"Well, we need to get back
inside before I have two little Popsicles on my hands." The kids
giggle at her choice of words. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, tomorrow." I repeat.
Faith
turns and walks away as he pulls Charlie and Emily behind her. Before
they get to the end of the park, the kids turn and wave wildly to me.
I watch my breath stream out in the cold,
crisp air and I smile as a million miles of distance, a thousand
lonely nights, hundreds of voices evaporate in the wave of a small
hand, and in the laugh of a child.
I look
up and see blue sky and remember how their love touched me. I wave
back to Emily and Charlie knowing that I didn't let him win. That I
remembered the love they showed me, that I didn't let evil destroy
goodness that I refused to deny their very existence.
As
I blink away the sunlight, I see Squirt, her brother, all the
children and the other villagers laughing and waving. I allow them to
come to life again. I choose to remember the best of them thus
allowing them to live once more. And as I tilt my head back and feel
the sun warm my skin, I promise them that I won't ever allow their
voices to be silenced again.