A lone figure stood on a bridge that was much in need of major repairs. She looked down at the rushing water and seemed to smile and frown at the same time. Her dark purple hair swayed in the wind and her cloak billowed out behind her.
Now she really frowned and pulled the indigo cloak close to her body, savoring the little warmth it gave her. She shivered; it was getting dark and the heat from the sun was slowly disappearing. She looked up at the sky as the last traces of the sun disappeared. A raindrop fell onto her nose and she groaned as it started to rain.
I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
God, how she wished somebody would notice she was gone, but they never would. They would always assume she was in her room just like she always was. By the time they noticed, she would be long gone. Forever.
FLASHBACK
"Raven! Why didn't you cover for me?!" Beast Boy yelled angrily. Raven glared at him.
"In case you didn't notice, I was busy trying not to get smacked into the wall myself," Raven answered coldly.
"So? That's what teamwork is! Helping others even when you're in danger!"
At his words, Raven could fell her annoyance and anger melt away as she realized that he was right. For once, anyway. However, she continued to glare at Beast Boy until he looked at his feet uncomfortably. She then stalked back to her room, keeping a semblance of being annoyed with Beast Boy until she was safe in her 'lair'. Then she flung herself onto her bed and hugged a pillow to her chest, deep in thought.
END FLASHBACK
Raven looked more depressed than she had already looked at the memory. Why did Beast Boy have to be right? IN fact, why was she thinking of Beast Boy in the first place?
Oh well. It was time to do what she had come here to do. Nobody would miss her anyways, and they'd be far better without worrying about getting blown up by her emotion driven powers.
Stop thinking about that and jump already! she mentally ordered herself. It was so cold, she would freeze to death anyway, if she didn't jump now.
She stepped to the edge of the bridge and looked around one last time, her eyes failing to notice a green fly buzzing around the bridge. She looked down at the river and made to step off.
"Raven! Don't move!"
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
Tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I-
I'm with you
I'm with you, mmm
Raven looked behind her and her face hardened.
"Go away, Beast Boy," she hissed. When she had wished for someone to come, she hadn't meant Beast Boy.
The green teen (HEY! I RHYMED! BOOYA!) moved closer.
"No."
Raven looked over her shoulder at the water below the bridge and resisted the urge to step backwards.
"Please, Beast Boy, leave me alone!" she pleaded.
"No! I'm not going to let you step off this bridge and kill yourself!"
Raven closed her eyes and concentrated. Beast Boy was thrown back a couple feet, landing on his knees.
He got up slowly and held his hand out to Raven.
"Come on, let's go home."
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
Raven shook her head, but she was suddenly overcome by a violent coughing fit.
She glared at Beast Boy as if he had caused it somehow. He was watching her worriedly.
"You alright, Rae?" he asked concernedly. She nodded and then frowned.
"Why did you come? I thought you hated me," Raven asked. Beast Boy looked surprised.
"Raven, I never hated you. Not ever," he said softly.
Raven suddenly looked up at the sky."Look, it stopped raining."
Beast Boy also looked up. The clouds had cleared, but a sharp, cold wind had started up.
Raven gave an involuntary shiver and began to wring out her cloak. She looked at the water and sighed longingly.Beast Boy shook his head. "Raven, you are not going to jump off this bridge, so get that idea out of your head. I'm not going to let you. And speaking of this bridge, why are we on it still, freezing cold and wet, when we could and should be warm and dry in Titan Tower?"
He stepped towards Raven and again, she didn't step away. He held out his hand to her once more.
Raven looked at it, then at him. She slowly reached out her hand and touched his hand. He wrapped his hand around hers and led her off the bridge, carefully avoiding the hole in the middle.
She shivered again and pulled her cloak close to her body with her freehand. Beast Boy saw and frowned. He was about to pull her close (to keep her warm, of course XD) when she went into another violent coughing fit.
She was bent over double, her hands on her knees. He waited for her to straighten up, then he put his hands on her shoulder. She flinched at the touch.
"Raven, we've got to get you home. You're going to freeze to death if we're out here much longer. It's so cold that it looks like your cloak is freezing, and so is your hair."
Raven reached up and touched her hair. It was extremely stiff and cold. Raven had to admit, it was freezing, and her cloak and leotard weren't much protection against the wind, water, and cold, especially now that they were soaked and literally freezing.
But was that such a bad thing? She had intended to jump into the raging waters, but since Beast Boy had foiled that plan, why not try another?
Or had Beast Boy's actions changed her perspective (A/N Perspectment!!! XD Love ya Li) on things? Did she really want to die anymore?
"...Alright..." The word popped out of her mouth before she could stop it.
Beast Boy's face brightened. "Come on," he said, holding onto Raven's arm and gently pulling it towards the giant 'T' in the distance.
Raven hesitated for a minute, looking towards the bridge, then let Beast Boy pull her towards the Tower.
It's a damn cold night
Tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are, but I-
I'm with you
I'm with you, yeah yeah, ohhh...
They eventually reached the Tower without too much hassle, Raven mentally preparing herself for a huge lecture from Robin. She stopped when they got to the door of the Tower. Beast Boy looked at her understandingly.
"Don't worry, it'll be alright," he said comfortingly.
Raven nodded and they entered Titan Tower.
Why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Beast Boy led Raven into the main room of Titan Tower. The first person they saw was Robin. He was pacing in a line, back and forth, muttering to himself, checking his communicator every couple of seconds.
Beast Boy cleared his throat and Robin looked up. His face flooded with relief as he saw Raven.
"Raven!"
Raven nodded nervously, waiting for the lecture that was sure to come. It didn't. At least, not yet.
"Beast Boy, you found her! Where was she?" Robin asked, too relieved to lecture yet.
Raven looked at Beast Boy pleadingly.
"Just around," Beast Boy said, glancing at the dark girl. Her face gave no indication of what she was feeling, gave no indication that Beast Boy was beating around the bush.
Robin picked it up anyway.
"Where did you find her, Beast Boy?" Robin asked again, sternly. "I want a real answer this time."
Beast Boy looked at Raven helplessly.
"She was by the old bridge," Beast Boy said reluctantly.
Robin's eyes widened (they could tell because his mask also got bigger).
"By the old bridge... nobody'd be crazy enough to go there unless they were...... Raven!"
Raven just stood there for a second like a deer in the headlights, then she sprinted up to her room. Beast Boy ran after her, only to discover that Raven had locked her door from the inside. There were noises that sound like small explosions coming from inside. He pounded on it."Raven, it's me, Beast Boy! Please, can you open the door?" he called through the door.
The door cracked open a little bit and Beast Boy could see half of Raven's head, the other half hidden by darkness.
"What?"
"Raven, Robin's not going to do anything to you. He's not even going to lecture you, if I have anything to do about it."
The door opened more until it was just wide enough for somebody to slip into the room.
"Come in."
Beast Boy was stunned. Raven almost never invited anybody into her room, and it was a first for him.
He mentally shrugged and squeezed through the opening in the door.
Raven walked to her bed and sat on it. "Sit anywhere, but don't touch anything."
Beast Boy sat next to Raven on the bed. Her back stiffened when he sat, but he didn't notice.
They sat in silence for a few minutes until Raven broke the silence.
"Where are Starfire and Cyborg?" she asked."They were out looking for you, as I was, but I think Robin called them back on their communicators. By the way, where's your communicator?"
Raven shrugged. "Took it off before I went. I didn't want anyone to actually find me."
Beast Boy laughed. "And we all see how much that worked out. Were you mad when I found you?"
Raven thought about it for a minute. "I was at first, but then I realized that you had prevented me from doing something I realized I didn't want to do."
"Oh?" Beast Boy said, wiggling his eyebrows. "I bet my impressive (A/N: Immense, for Li. Love ya girl) hotness impressed you so much that you weren't mad."
Raven glared. "This isn't the best time for jokes."
Beast Boy turned into a cute little puppy and leapt into Raven's lap, licking her face. She pushed him off. His ears drooped and he turned back into his original form.
"Anyway, I think you'd better talk to Robin, or he'll get it out of you somehow or another."
Raven nodded slowly. "Will you come with me?"
Beast Boy smiled. "Sure, if you want me to." (A/N AWWW!)
Raven stood up. Beast Boy followed suit, and they walked back together, back to the main room.
They saw Robin talking into his communicator. He turned around and saw the two. He smiled at them and closed his communicator.
"So, Raven... you decided to come down," Robin commented.
Raven shrugged. "Aren't you going to lecture me now?"
Robin looked confused. "Why would I lecture you?"
Beast Boy cut in when it was obvious that Raven wasn't going to answer.
"I think she means the fact that she ran off by herself, didn't tell anyone where she was going, was by the old bridge, and took her communicator off."
Robin nodded, understanding. "Actually, Raven, I do want to talk to you about those things-"He was cut off by another coughing fit from Raven.
"-but I think you two need dry clothes, hot showers, and blankets before we talk."
Beast Boy nodded. "I think we do too, especially Raven."
Raven opened her mouth to speak, but Beast Boy put his hands on her shoulders from behind and guided her out of the room. As soon as they were out of earshot of Robin, Raven turned to Beast Boy.
"Why didn't you let me talk?"
"Because we need to get you into dry clothes and you were going to argue."
Beast Boy continued steering her towards her room. When they finally reached her room, he stopped.
"I'll be changing in my room, okay? I'll come back when I'm done, or if you don't want to wait, I'll go to the main room after I check here."
Raven nodded and put up her hood. She opened the door and disappeared into the blackness within.
Beast Boy watched her go, then took off towards his own room.
When he was done changing, he raced back to Raven's room.
"Hey, Rae, it's yours truly, Beast Boy," he called through the door. The door was surrounded by a black aura, and it opened to reveal Raven, in dry clothes, at the window, looking down.
Beast Boy hurried over to her. "Whoa, Raven, window plus height plus suicidal girl equals bad." He pulled her away from the window.
"What's there to look at, anyway?" Beast Boy asked. "Besides the ground and the waves, I mean. It's too dark to see anything."
Raven stepped further away from the window so that Beast Boy could see out the window. "Look."
Beast Boy stepped up to the window and looked down. Squinting his eyes, he could just barely make out the figures of his fellow teammates. Cyborg's mechanical parts glinted in the lights of the lit-up Tower, and Starfire's green eyes shone like emeralds in the small amount of light.
Beast Boy stepped away from the window and looked at Raven.
"Do you think you're ready to go down now? I'm sure Cy and Star would love to see you."
"Yeah, they would love to yell at me, you mean," Raven muttered under her breath. Beast Boy heard and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Rae, it'll be fine. I promise."
Raven looked into his eyes and saw only hope and sincerity in them. She slowly nodded.
"Let's go," she said. This time she led the way down to the main room.
When the two got to the room, Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin broke off their conversation. Starfire was the first to react, giving Raven a spine-breaking hug.
"Oh, friend Raven! It is glorious to see you again!"
Cyborg was next, obviously.
"Yo, Raven! Don't ever sneak off like that again! I was combing the whole city for you! Where were you, anyway?"
Raven looked at Beast Boy nervously. She didn't answer, but Robin did.
"She was by the old bridge."
Cyborg gasped He had the same reaction as Robin had had, complete with the same words.
Raven made to run back to her room, but Beast Boy grabbed her arm and sent her a warning look. She stopped, but a lightbulb exploded nearby.
The other Titans looked at it, and then they looked back at Raven, who stared back at them.
Starfire, however, was not to be deterred from the subject of where Raven was.
"Please, what and where is the old bridge?" she asked.
"The old bridge, is, well, an old bridge right outside of Jump City. It's falling apart, and you'd have to be either crazy or suicidal to go there," Robin explained. Starfire still looked confused.
"What does 'suicidal' mean?" she asked.
"Starfire... it means that somebody wants to kill themself," Cyborg explained.
Star's eyes went wide.
"But we all know Raven's not 'crazy', so she's must be suicidal... friend Raven!" Starfire had finally said out loud what everybody had been thinking.
Raven made a small noise and moved closer to Beast Boy. He put an arm around her comfortingly. Cyborg and Starfire looked surprised when Raven didn't push Beast Boy away. Cyborg shook it off and his gaze centered on Raven.
"What happened by the bridge, Raven?" he asked softly.
"Nothing," Raven answered in her monotone, her face set. Cyborg snorted.
"Yeah, right, nothing happened. You were gone for hours, you took off your communicator, and you were by the old bridge, for heaven's sake! So what happened?"
Raven stared at him stonily. "I told you, nothing happened."
Cyborg rolled his eyes; it was obvious that he wasn't going to get anything out of Raven, so he did what any logical person would do: he turned to Beast Boy.
"Beast Boy, why was Raven at the bridge?" Cyborg asked, looking at Beast Boy.
"I can't say, Raven wouldn't want me to." Beast Boy was fidgeting a little bit. The other boys noticed, and Robin's eyes narrowed.
"Raven, please. We have to know why you were there. If there's a problem, we can help," Robin said.
Raven hesitated then spoke.
"I was on the bridge." She spoke so softly that everyone had to strain to hear her.
Everyone except Beast Boy, that is. He was next to her, his arm still around the telepath.
"Say WHAT?" Cyborg exclaimed. "You were actually on the bridge? That thing has no railings, and the last person who stood on that thing fell through! What the hell were you doing on that bridge, Raven?"
Raven looked at Beast Boy and nodded slightly. He raised his eyebrows and she nodded again. Beast Boy shrugged a little.
"She was looking down at the river, practically freezing to death, when I saw her. And then... she almost jumped off."
This information was met with horrified gasps. Everyone (except for Raven and Beast Boy, that is) looked at Raven questioningly.
"Is that true?" Robin finally asked.
Raven hesitated, and then nodded. Her eyes begged the rest of the Titans not to saw what she knew they were going to say. It didn't work.
"Oh, God, Raven..." Robin said, still in shock. Raven turned her face to the side, hidden under her hood, as the Gamestation exploded. Beast Boy's eyes widened, but he stayed quiet and his arm around Raven tightened a bit.
She turned her head to look at Beast Boy. He smiled at her and then frowned as he noticed a tear slipping down her pale cheek. He looked at the others.
"I don't think Raven is up to talking about it right now," he said firmly. Raven looked at Beast Boy with grateful eyes.
"Thank you," she whispered so softly that even he had to strain to hear it, and nobody else even had a chance of hearing it.
Raven promptly sneezed loudly, following the expression of thanks.
Stafire jumped backwards at the sound.
"Friend, you are ill! You must rest!" Starfire exclaimed.
Raven looked at her, her face cleared of any trace of tears.
"I'm fine," Raven said.
"I agree with Starfire," Robin said. "You should get into bed and get warmer and sleep for a while. You obviously have a cold."
Raven nodded reluctantly and then stepped away from Beast Boy and walked to her room. Finding that she was more tired than she had thought, she dropped herself onto her bed and immediately fell asleep.
Beast Boy crept into Raven's room as soon as she fell asleep. He gently brushed away a strand of hair from Raven's face. She moved and Beast Boy withdrew his hand. She didn't wake up, and Beast Boy drew a chair up next to Raven's bed
He waited, sitting in the chair, for what seemed like infinity. After a while, Raven started tossing and turning and whimpering.
"No... go away... leave me alone..." Raven muttered in her sleep, tossing and turning frantically.
Beast Boy shook her gently. "Wake up, Raven!"
Raven's eyes slowly opened. She jumped when she saw Beast Boy standing above her.
"Beast Boy, why are you in my room?"
"I'm here in case you need something," Beast Boy (half) lied. He had to admit it: he was falling for the dark empath. At first, he had fooled himself into thinking that he was just helping a friend, but now he couldn't avoid the truth.
Unknowingly, Raven was having the same thoughts.
'Why am I thinking this?' they both asked themselves.
'Just because she almost jumped off a bridge-'
'Just because he saved me from ending it all-'
'DOES NOT MEAN THAT I'M FALLING FOR HIM/HER!' They both yelled at themselves, Raven's powers causing yet another lightbulb to explode. Both teens jumped at the sound.
"Oops," Raven said in her monotone, not sounding sorry or embarrassed or a million other things she could've sounded like.
Beast Boy was curious. Why had Raven caused something to explode? Was she mad at him? Was she happy that he had come to watch over her? Or was it something totally different? However, he decided not to ask and to pursue a different topic.
"So, Raven... you were having a nightmare when I woke you up. You were tossing and turning and whimpering and speaking out loud."
Raven bolted up to a sitting position. "What did I say?? Tell me!" she said frantically.
Beast Boy put his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Raven. You didn't say very much, only stuff like 'get away' and 'leave me alone'. You can keep your dream to yourself, Raven. I won't ask you about it."
Raven nodded. "...thank you..." She said it as if she was still getting used to the idea of thanking someone. Beast Boy smiled.
"You're welcome. Now, go back to sleep. You'll need it to get better."
Raven shook her head. "I can't go back to sleep."
"Because of the dream?"
Raven nodded.
Beast Boy shrugged. "Then don't sleep. Do you want your book?"
Raven nodded. "I'll get it." Raven swung her legs over the edge of the bed, starting to get up.
Beast Boy shook his head. "Sick people stay in their beds, Raven. You're sick, so you have to stay in bed. I'll get your book for you. Where is it?"
"No! You can't touch my book! I'll get it, I'm fine!"
Of course, Raven coughed at that very second. Beast Boy raised an eyebrow.
"Fine, Raven? You're still coughing and-" he felt her forehead, earning a glare "-you have a fever. You're still sick, and you have two choices: sleep, which is obviously not an option for you, or let me get your book. Or, I guess, you could stare into space or meditate. But whatever you do, I demand that you stay in bed."
Raven was silent for a while, then...
"Bring Robin in."
Beast Boy was surprised, to say the least. He was astonished, to say a bit more.
"Raven, are you sure? You and I both know it's going to be hard for you. He's going to ask you questions that you won't want to answer, and you know that.. So are you positive you want me to bring Robin up here?"
Raven nodded "I'm sure."
Beast Boy shrugged. "Alright... if you're sure..." He squeezed her hand and then exited the room in search of Robin.
Raven watched him go, and then sighed to herself. 'What are you getting yourself into, Raven?'
After about five minutes, Beast Boy re-entered the room. Behind him was Robin.
"Here's Robin," Beast Boy said, turning to go. A voice stopped him.
"Wait." Raven surprised herself once more. Asking for Beast Boy to stay with her? Well, she supposed, it wasn't any worse than anything she had done in the past 12 hours.
Beast Boy turned around. "Yes, Raven?"
"Stay here," Raven said softly. Beast Boy smiled and walked back to Raven's bed. Robin watched in amusement as Beast Boy sat on the end of Raven's bed.
Robin got down to business at once. "So, Raven, are you ready to talk about what happened today?"
Raven nodded. "I think so."
"Good. Then would you mind telling me why you were about to jump off the old bridge?" Robin asked, a tiny hint of anger in his voice.
Raven stared at him. "I was going to jump. What do you think that means?"
Robin eyed her carefully, as if she was going to kill herself right then. "You were going to kill yourself."
Raven leaned back onto the wall (she had gotten back into bed during Beast Boy's absence) and closed her eyes. "Exactly."
That was the first time she had admitted it out loud, and even Beast Boy felt horrified, even though he had discovered Raven on the bridge.
"Oh, Raven... why?" was all Robin could get out. Raven's eyes remained closed although it was apparent that she didn't want to answer that question.
"I don't know. Anything. Everything. It was just something I had to do."
Robin blinked. Whatever answer he had expected, it hadn't been that.
"How can suicide ever be something you have to do?"
Raven shrugged. "It just was. Besides, it's not like I actually did it..."
"Yes, but it's the fact that you tried that matters!" Robin pointed out. He looked frustrated, as if this discussion wasn't going the way he had planned.
"Look, Robin, what does it matter? Raven's obviously not going to do it again. Why are you giving her such a hard time about it?" Beast Boy spoke up from the foot of Raven's bed.
"It's not the fact that she didn't succeed, Beast Boy, or the fact that she won't do it again, it's the fact that she tried and almost did it. We need to find out why so we can make positively sure that it doesn't happen again," Robin answered.
"Beast Boy, it's fine. Robin's just trying to help," Raven said. Beast Boy quieted and Raven continued.
"It wasn't only one thing. It was everything put together: my father, training, various people, that sort of thing."
"If training is a problem, we can-"Robin started, but Raven put up a hand to stop him.
"No. I don't want you to change anything for me. I don't want to be treated differently than anybody else."
Robin looked like he was thinking hard. "Okay, I guess, but you still can't train or fight until you're better."
Raven rolled her eyes. "Robin, I'm fine. See? I'm not sneezing or coughing or anything else. Can I please get out of bed now?"
For once, she didn't cough or sneeze as soon as she said that. Robin thought for a second.
"Get a scan from Cyborg, and if it says that you're better, then you can get out of bed. But you aren't allowed to leave the Tower until you can prove to me that you're safe. You have to wear your communicator whether or not you're in the Tower. Deal?"
Raven sighed. "Deal. Beast Boy, get Cyborg."
Beast Boy smirked; that sounded like the Raven he knew. "What do you say?"
"Beast Boy, get Cyborg before I get out of bed and make you get Cyborg."
Beast Boy gulped. Yep, Raven was definitely back to normal.
"Yes, your majesty." He shot out of the room and to the main room where Cyborg was playing their new Gamestation (which he had ran out and bought as soon as Raven had gone upstairs to sleep).
"Cyborg, Raven wants you to do a scan and make sure she's not sick anymore," Beast Boy said.
"What? Oh, sure, yeah. Give me a sec to shut this thing down." Cyborg quickly shut down his game and followed Beast Boy back to Raven's room.
"Raven, you called for a scan?"
Raven nodded. "Yes."
"OK, give me a sec." Cyborg quickly did his scan.
"You're clear, Raven. How'd you get rid of that cold so quickly?"
Raven shrugged and finally got out of bed. "Thank you, Cyborg."
"Anytime, Raven. Robin, I'll race you to the Gamestation!"
"You're on!" The two raced all the way to the new Gamestation, Robin winning by a hair. (A/N Yes, I know that Robin wouldn't have run off like that, but 1.) I don't like Robin, and 2.) I needed to get Raven and Beast Boy alone.)
"So, Raven, how does it feel to be cold-free and alive?" Beast Boy asked. Raven smiled.
"Wonderful. And call me Rae."
"Rae... it's a very pretty nickname, to be sure. But, you know, Raven is very pretty too. And not just the name."
Raven blushed. Beast Boy stepped closer until they were practically touching. Beast Boy put a finger under Raven's chin and tilted her head up so that she was looking right at him. (Just pretend that Beast Boy's a little bit taller than Raven, alright?).
Raven's mind was screaming to get out now, but her body wouldn't listen. She melted into the kiss that Beast Boy had bestowed on her lips, and went into her own little world.
Multiple objects in the room exploded, but she didn't care. For once in her life, she was truly happy.
It's a damn cold night
Tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I-
I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I-
I'm with you
I'm with you
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are but I-
I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you
THE END
Dedicated to all my friends, including (but not limited to): Li-ness, Val (Attiekins), Jessikins, Sally, Frances (Francikins), Nadia, Becki, Nicole, Liz L, Emily, Amanda, Sabre, Listakins, Carleh, Sarra, Jimmehkins, Tara, Tally, Scarlet, and last but DEFINITELY not least, Omo.