THE RUN AWAY

That morning Seth woke with a start and realised that he was alone in his bedroom. Throwing on his robe he climbed out of bed and made his way down into the kitchen where Kirsten greeted him.

"Have you seen Rachel?" He asked.

Kirsten shook her head and Seth left her to her tea, moving outside and into the pool house where Ryan still slept.

"Rise and shine!" He yelled causing Ryan to groan as he woke from a deep sleep.

"What do you want Seth?" Ryan asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Have you seen Rachel?"

"Yeah she's right..."

Ryan turned to the opposite side of the bed where Rachel had slept that night and found that it was empty. He shot upright and looked around before calling out to her. There was no response.

"Oh no," he whispered jumping out of bed and walking past Seth to the door.

"What? What 'oh no'?" Seth asked following him into the house.

Ryan moved around the bottom floor of the house trying to find his sister.

"I've already checked Ryan, she isn't in here," Seth said.

Ryan stopped dead in the middle of the lobby his mind ticking back to the previous night when Rachel had been a complete reck in his arms. He took in a deep breath trying not to think of the worst that could have happened.

His fears were answered however when Sandy walked into the room an envelope clutched in his hands.

"This is for you Ryan," he said handing over the paper. "I found it with the newspaper."

Ryan snatched the letter out of Sandy's hands and tore open the seal. What his eyes fell on was something that he had been dreading.

I've gone. Not really one for goodbyes so I thought it would be best if I didn't wake you. This is the only way. I can't stay with you and face what has happened. I just can't. Don't try and find me, just move on.

Ryan felt numb. Rachel had run away and he hadn't even realised until it was too late.

I can't stay and face what had happened.

Ryan read the words over and over. It had finally become too much for her. Rachel could no longer deal with her life and Ryan couldn't help but think that this was the same thing she had gone through when he left Chino. The dark side. Standing on the edge of everything and not seeing any other better way but to jump and get it over with.

Seth stood behind Ryan frozen, not knowing what to think, not knowing what to say. He honestly didn't think that things had become this bad with her. But he knew from the look on Ryan's face that her brother knew exactly what was going on.

"We have to find her," Ryan said letting the letter fall and running back to the pool house to change his clothes.

Sandy picked up the fallen paper and moved into the kitchen whilst reading it, his mind racing as to what could have happened to make Rachel leave so fast.

Kirsten looked at him and saw the concern on his face.

"What is it?" She asked before he handed the paper over to her. Reading it quickly Kirsten stood from her spot and went to collect the two sets of car keys. "Oh God," was all that she whispered.

When Ryan came racing back into the room Seth had already changed into more suitable clothes than his 'yummy sushi' pyjamas.

"We'll split up," Kirsten stated. "You two take one car and Sandy and I will take the other."

She handed over the keys to Ryan who took them quickly.

"I'll tell Marissa, get her to stay here just in case she comes back," Sandy said before leaving the trio alone.

"What could have happened to make her do this?" Kirsten asked quietly.

Ryan remained silent and Seth knew that he was hiding something. He decided not to press the matter until they were alone.

When Sandy returned Marissa was following after him. She threw her arms around Ryan and kissed him gently.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured. When she pulled away she said. "I'll do anything."

"Just stay here in case she calls," Ryan said before moving away and out the front door.

"Alright, we'll check all of the local hotels, why don't you two have a look at the display homes, they're empty and big enough for someone to stay in for a time," Kirsten said.

Ryan knew that she was referring to the time that he had stayed in one of her fathers display houses, getting regular food and company from Seth and Marissa.

He nodded his head, he and Seth moving to one car and Sandy and Kirsten to another.

Finally alone in the car Seth asked Ryan the question which had been burning in his mind since this whole ordeal began.

"What happened Ryan?" He asked.

Ryan didn't reply, instead he kept his eyes fixed on the road, hands firmly placed on the steering wheel and drove like there was no tomorrow.

"What happened Ryan?" Seth asked again, this time with more aggression in his tone.

Ryan let out a sigh but didn't turn to his friend. "She came to the pool house last night."

Seth frowned at the comment, he thought he would have felt if Rachel had left his side last night. His always had his arm around her when they slept. Always.

"And what happened? What did she do?"

"We talked," Ryan answered.

Seth couldn't stand it when Ryan kept his part of the conversation to single sentences, it made him think that he was hiding something. And this time he knew that he was.

"And Rachel was okay?"

Ryan flicked on the indicator and took the next right turn. "If you can call crying in my arms okay," he answered bluntly.

Seth couldn't stand it any more. "You knew she was upset and you just left her?" Her asked accusingly.

"I didn't leave her Seth!" Ryan yelled. "I let her talk to me. I let her explain everything that was on her mind and then I watched her fall asleep."

Seth noticed that Ryan's knuckles were beginning to turn white from how tightly he was holding onto the steering wheel.

"Look, I'm sorry, it's just I know you know what's going on."

Ryan nodded his head slightly. "Yeah. I do know."

"This would be right about the time when you actually tell me," Seth pushed.

"Rachel's..." He began.

Ryan found it hard to put it into words and at that moment, knew what his baby sister was going through. She couldn't face the truth and even he was struggling to do the same.

"Rachel's what Ryan? Spit it out."

"She pregnant."

Seth fell silent, he honestly had not even thought of the possibility.

"It's not...?" He asked pointing to himself.

Ryan shook his head, the question coming as no shock to him. Despite what Seth thought, he had more of an insight into Rachel's relationship than the average brother. He knew what she had done whilst in Chino, not only because he was a relation but because she ran with him and his boys on more than one occasion. Rachel had grown up faster than any girl he thought he had ever met.

"That bastard," Seth whispered the truth finally hitting him.

Ryan remained silent. He was thinking of many worse words than that at the moment.

"When we find her, what's she gonna do?" Seth asked honestly, his tone completely changed to one of concern.

"I don't know," Ryan answered more to himself than to his companion.

He didn't know how Rachel was now going to deal with this responsibility; all that he knew was that that was not important at the moment. And what was, was finding her.

.........

Almost an hour had past and Ryan and Seth were beginning to lose hope in finding Rachel still in New Port. They had now split up, Ryan taking the left side of a long street of homes, Seth taking the right.

Now Ryan stood there, in the warm living room of the new home, watching her as she stared out of the window, not even realising that he was there.

"So this is how you deal with your problems, you run away," Ryan voiced.

Rachel spun around, her brother being the last person she expected to be there. Ryan saw that her eyes were empty, her face expressionless. Everything about her that he had grown to love was gone.

"You have no idea," she whispered, her voice low, words almost choked by the tears which were forming behind her eyes.

"I might if you let me in on any of it," Ryan said calmly walking toward her.

"You're one to talk. You're not exactly Joe-Here's-What-I'm-Thinking."

"I have my reasons."

"And so do I!" Rachel screamed.

Ryan stopped short, not expecting such an outburst but knowing that his words would have hit her deep.

"How can you act like everything is alright? Like this is some walk in the park for you?"

Ryan looked deep within her eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "If you want to fight me than go ahead, but it isn't going to get you anywhere."

Rachel only stared at him. "How the hell would you know what's right for me?" She turned her back to him and looked out the window again.

"I know what isn't right for you and that includes running away when things get tough. The Cohen's were beside themselves when they realised what you've done, how could you do that to them when they took you in? They want to help you."

Rachel was quiet for a while not wanting to say anything that might make Ryan think that he was winning this battle.

"I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I don't want anything from anyone."

Ryan nodded his head at the statement and moved closer to her. "Maybe if you grew up and had some faith in people..."

Rachel spun around then and attacked. "I have grown up!" She screamed. "I grew up so damn fast I don't know where else there is for me to go. I've been beaten, I've been abused. I've been raped for Christ's sake!" Her voice now turned to one of sarcasm. "So I'm sorry if I freaked, you know, and I'm sorry if I can't deal with the fact that I wake up in the middle of the night terrified. And that I left the only good thing that has ever happened to me because I can't deal with all the bad."

A slow stream of tears was now running down Rachel's face. She couldn't believe what she had just done. She had attacked Ryan, the one person whom she knew cared about her enough to let her do that, despite knowing what he was doing was right.

Rachel ran a hand threw her hair, finally coming to terms with what she had said.

"I just want to feel something that's not this."

Ryan moved to her now, resting his hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes. "Let me help you," he said. "Let me into your life and just trust me. Maybe this is how it used to be but things are different now, we changed them."

"You can't," Rachel said pulling away from her brother.

"Why not?"

"Because it never stops Ry', this keeps happening and it doesn't matter how far I run or how much people say that it's going to be alright. In the end nothing ever changes."

"I promise you I'll make this right," Ryan swore.

"No..."

"Rachel I can help you."

"No..."

"Just tell me what I can do. You have to talk to me."

"Stop saying that!" Rachel yelled moving to stand in front of Ryan. "Stop saying that you can change everything, stop saying that nothing else is going to happen because it will Ry'!"

Ryan took hold of her arms again but Rachel ripped out of his grip.

"Stop telling me things just because you know I want to hear them!"

She was now fighting against him, hitting his chest, trying to make him go away, to leave her like nothing had ever happened.

"Stop pretending that everything is okay!"

Tears were now gliding down her cheeks as her blows became less powerful and the energy ran out of her body. Ryan caught her as she collapsed to her knees and sat on the floor breathing shallow.

"I can't do this Ry'," she whispered looking to the floor. "Who am I? Really?"

"You're strong, that's what you are," Ryan answered, his heart breaking inside from seeing his sister in such a distraught state.

"No...I'm not. Not like I used to be. I just can't handle this any more. I want it to stop hurting."

Ryan hugged her, rapping his arms tightly around her shoulders. "I'll make this right, I promise you. I'll never leave."

"Why do I believe in you more than I believe in anything else?" Rachel asked.

"Because you know that I will always tell you the truth. And I'll be there as a friend for whenever you need."

"Don't be my friend," Rachel said. She looked up at Ryan and he saw that her eyes were red from the tears. "Be my brother."

Ryan smiled down at her as she again rested her head on his chest. "I can do that."

Rachel took a hold of the front of his shirt. "Don't let me fall Ry'. Please don't let me fall."

Ryan hugged her tighter, never wanting to let her go. "I won't. I'll die for you Rach, if that's what it takes to keep you safe, I will."

TO BE CONTINUED.........

(Hey guys, me again. Thanks for the review and to answer you about the whole Seth not protecting Rachel thing. You have no idea what's in store. Please review)