THE START OVER

When Rachel finally came to her senses her head swam, her mind not registering where she was. She slowly opened her eyes to the blinding lights and looked around. She lay in a bed, white and soft, feeling as though she was floating.

This is too much like being dead, she thought, knowing full well that she wasn't.

Then her mind realised what was going on. She was lying in a hospital bed, cool room.

Rachel shot upright remembering everything.

Running...

Seth...

Ryan...

Blood...

Black...

A pain shot through Rachel's middle and she let out a small cry and instantly awakening the person who sat next to her.

Ryan stood from his spot with a start and held onto her back for support.

"Here, be careful," he said.

His midsection exposed due to not wearing a shirt Rachel saw a bandage secured tightly around his mid section, the wound causing him to wince when he moved.

Blood. It has been his blood.

"I'm okay Ryan, just..." Rachel leaned on her arm brushing Ryan's touch away.

Noticing that he was staring at her with an amused look on his face Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You called me Ryan," he said smiling.

"What do you know, I can pronounce the end of it."

Rachel touched the bandage where she knew the knife had gone into his stomach, she felt his muscles tighten. Everything had happened so fast. None of them had seen it coming. Not the wounds, not the pain, not the...

"I'm sorry about this Rach," Ryan admitted causing her to come back into reality and away from her thoughts.

"I know."

Somehow Ryan could tell that she knew everything he was sorry for, not just the situation itself.

"Rachel do you know what I'm talking about?" He asked.

Rachel looked up at him and let on a small smile. "I knew the second it happened. I felt it."

Ryan looked down at his baby sister, watching how brave she was in the situation. She had felt the baby she carried die. He was sure she was feeling it now.

"He wanted it to happen," she said. "He knew that as soon as you guys got there, that was it for him. He went after the last connection between us and he broke it."

Ryan looked down slightly. "Yeah..."

"Plus can you image you as an uncle?" Rachel asked honestly, a joking tone in her voice.

"I'm too young," Ryan exclaimed.

"What? You're way old."

"Oh yeah, sure, make jokes at the expense of the guy with a hole in his gut."

"Always do."

They sat in silence for a while, Ryan knowing that though his sister was feeling complete sorrow for what had happened she was relieved in a sense. The burden had now been lifted and the fear gone.

"Maybe this was a good thing. I mean, I didn't want it to happen, but if it didn't, everything would have changed and I knew I couldn't deal with that," Rachel said honestly.

"Hence the complete freak out," Ryan stated.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

Ryan smiled at her. "Don't mention it. Just glad to see you happy."

"I fell like I shouldn't be, but...I am."

Rachel looked at Ryan, deep into his eyes.

"He's gone, isn't he?" She said quietly.

Ryan nodded. "Cops took him away, said that he'll be racking up a while in jail. Plus I still have some of my old buddies in there who aren't very happy with what he did."

"Especially to their girl."

"Especially."

"You know, this is a chance to start over for us. No more pain and no more past. Everything gets to start fresh."

Rachel looked at Ryan who only stared back.

"And it's not the drugs talking!" She insisted.

"Good, cos I was gonna say."

Rachel laughed slightly.

"I think we'll be alright," Ryan whispered.

.........

Seth can back into the room, arms full of food and goodies. Rachel sat on his bed, watching with an amused grin as he tried to juggle the contents. She and Ryan had been released from hospital that day and were now spending some quality time with their loves.

Seth flopped onto the bed beside her, spilling everything out around them

"Here we go. We've got, ice-cream, lollies, my dad's famous vanilla slices and..."

He pulled a group of cases out from behind his back.

"All the movies you could ever want."

"Such as..." Rachel said.

Seth moved up beside her. "Pirates of the Carribean."

"Johnny Depp, always a favourite."

"Anger Management."

"Maybe we should get Ry' in here for that one."

"My thoughts exactly."

Seth leaned his head against her collarbone. "What else...? Um..." He rummaged through the titles. "The Smurfs."

"Oh..." Rachel said.

"You know how tall they were?" Seth asked in a childish voice.

"How tall?" Rachel wondered.

"Three apples."

Rachel gasped. "Like you!"

"Hey, I'm not the shortest person in this room," Seth explained.

"I'm not short, I'm just small boned," Rachel replied with a smile.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

Rachel's smiled turned into a frown when she realised that Seth was right. She hit him hard. "Shut up!"

Seth couldn't resist teasing her; he loved it when she played mad with him. "Plus, 'small boned' usually implies that you're skinny and not short."

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Of course," Seth replied playfully inspiring another hit from Rachel.

"Stop picking on me!"

"I can't resist. I love seeing you pout."

"Meanie," Rachel sulked crossing her arms angrily.

"Ooh, jeez, that one cut deep," Seth said dramatically.

"Leave me alone."

There was a short silence before Seth shrugged. "Okay." He went to move off the bed when Rachel cut him off.

"No wait," she said taking a hold of his wrist. "Come back."

Seth turned around trying to make the most fun out of the situation. "But you just said that..."

His words were cut off as Rachel pulled him close to her and kissed him passionately.

"Okay," Seth said when they finally pulled away.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered.

"For what?" Seth asked.

"You know what."

Seth smiled, it made him fell good that Rachel was accepting of what he had done and knew why he had to do it. Something about that gave him reassurance.

.........

That night Rachel couldn't sleep, she was too busy thinking about the consequences of what had happened only a few days before. Gently sliding out of bed as to not wake Seth she moved across the room to the full length mirror in the corner. The moonlight spilled into the room, giving her enough light to see herself in the glass.

Rachel placed a hand over her stomach, her mind ticking back to when she had first found out that she would have a child. Despite knowing the nature of how it was created, she had wanted to bring the child into the world. It had been her child.

She closed her eyes a single tear escaping her eyes.

Now the baby was gone.

Rachel felt two hands atop hers and a body behind her. Seth stood there, his arms around her, head resting on the side of hers.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

Rachel let out a breath. "I don't know."

He kissed her on the cheek and moved his head to her shoulder, where she could lean hers against it.

"Do you want something?" He asked.

Rachel shook her head, pulling away. "No. I'm just gonna get a drink of water."

"You want me to come with?"

"No, I'm fine, go back to sleep."

Seth kissed her softly on the forehead and Rachel closed her eyes against the sensation before he moved away and retreated back to the bed.

.........

In the kitchen Rachel heard a sound and someone curse softly.

Sandy was hopping on the spot after stubbing his toe trying to find his keys when he looked up and noticed her.

"Rachel, what are you doing up?" He asked.

"I'm just getting some water," she replied.

Sandy nodded and looked at her closely. "How are you holding up?"

Rachel shrugged. "Been better."

"If you need anything you know that I'm here, Kirsten too."

"I know, I think that's what's keeping me from completely losing it right now."

Sandy moved to her and placed his hands on her shoulders smiling.

"Don't give up, things will get better, they just take time."

Rachel smiled. "Thanks."

Sandy kissed her on the forehead, something he had never done – something only a father would do – and began to walk away.

"Good night Rachel."

"'Night Sandy."

Coming back up the stairs Rachel eased back into the bed trying her hardest not to wake Seth. Little did she know he had been waiting for her.

"Come here," he said pulling her close.

Rachel moved over and lay atop him, her body spanning the length of his, her head resting on his chest.

Her weight barely registered against Seth's body, but he liked knowing that she was close to him, that he could be there for her.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asked.

"I just want to sleep," Rachel replied, feeling his arms circle around her body and his hands rest, crossed over her back.

She could hear his heart beat, feel his breathing, all the while thinking of how lucky she was that he loved her so much. He cared about her to the extent where he had put himself in the line of fire by going after Marsal.

Rachel kissed his jawbone before resting her head back on his chest and falling asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED.........

(Hey peeps, sorry for the little delay on updating, I have been flat out busy lately and haven't had time to sit down and so some writing. I know I said in an earlier note that the story would be finished by the end of the week...well I think I might have lied. I have completely changed the angle I was going to take with it which means that it will be a little longer than I thought. But I will finish ASAP.)

I was also wondering if you guys would like a sequal cos I won't write one unless it's going to be read :)