Note: lots of people have been telling me that Sirius' eyes are blue, or grey but i think that both these colours are too cold for sirius and for the sake of this story his has brown eyes. full stop.

-------------------------------------------------

"Remus?"

When were people going to stop saying his name?

"Mmf"

"You awake?"

"Nope."

Sirius laughed through the darkness. It wasn't his usual bark-like laugh and, thought Remus, it sounded rather hollow and slightly nervous. Afterwards there was a long silence. They were the only patients in the hospital wing and the only other sound apart from their voices was the thrumming of the rain against the windows and the shushing of the wind in the forbidden forest.

Sirius was the first to break the silence.

"I can't believe that James is finally going out with Lily and he spent the first night of their relationship visiting us! I mean, you know how long James has fancied her for!"

"Big of him." Remus said, not showing any interest in the way the conversation was going. Sirius decided to change tack.

"So how are you?"

"Me?!" Remus was astonished; here was the person who he had almost killed, asking him with real concern if he was alright "Of course I'm alright, I wasn't the one with the werewolf hanging off my neck." Another awkward silence. "How are you?"

"Fine, I can't even really remember what happened."

Remus knew he was lying but he didn't press it. "Me neither."

They both lay for a while, lost in their own thoughts. Again, it was Sirius who broke the silence.

"Listen, I'm really sorry. I was such an idiot, it's all my fault. This I mean."

"What?" said Remus bitterly, "the fact that I attacked you, ripped you apart and nearly killed you? Or the fact that we're both lying here, pumped full of potions and missing the Halloween party? Or both?"

"Both" said Sirius gloomily, "If I hadn't gone up to the shack, you wouldn't have attacked me and neither of us would be here. You did warn me and I completely ignored you."

Remus felt an irrational annoyance creep up inside him. Here Sirius was, only hours after recovering from near-fatal wounds inflicted by Remus, trying to take the blame for Remus' own actions.

"You'll be wanting to claim responsibility for me becoming a werewolf next." He said "And if you don't recall, I would be in here anyway, so it doesn't make any difference to me."

Sirius sat up in bed, turning towards Remus and causing sweet wrappers to crackle as he moved.

"What's up with you Moony? You've been acting really strangely lately. And James said that Madame Pomfrey thinks that something else hurt you as well as me. What is it you're not telling us?"

Remus felt anger boil up inside him.

"Nothing! Why do you keep saying that? You sound like a stuck record! Don't you have anything else to say to me? Like sorry maybe? You're right, I did tell you not to come to the Shack, but did you listen? No. If you would just forget about always doing what you want to do and listen to other people for a change, none of this would have happened!" Remus exploded suddenly, his voice echoing around the room long after he had finished.

Sirius' voice came out of the silence that followed.

"You know, I do remember it." said Sirius calmly, taking Remus completely by surprise, "everything."

Remus didn't know what to say to that so he kept silent, allowing his breathing to return to normal.

"Were you scared?" he said eventually.

There was a moment's pause. Remus knew that even if Sirius had been scared, he wouldn't readily admit it, so he was surprised when Sirius finally spoke;

"Yes."

It felt like the darkness was pressing in on Remus and once again he could see Sirius, surrounded by blood, pale and barely breathing on the floor of the Shrieking shack. He swallowed.

"Why did you turn back?"

He lay, listening to the rain and the wind, dreading the answer and when it came, it sent a fresh wave of guilt crashing through him.

"I thought I was going to die. I thought that you were going to kill me. I wanted to see, I wanted to talk to you before..." he trailed off

"Before I killed you." Remus finished, his words devoid of any emotion. Underneath the covers, his nails were digging into his thigh, sending a dull pain along his leg.

The rain continued with increased intensity and in the halls of the castle, Remus heard some late night revellers returning to their dorms, laughing and joking noisily, their voices fading away as they continued upwards.

"Night Sirius." He said and turned over. To his surprise, Sirius did not protest or try to continue the conversation and after a while Remus heard his steady breathing and knew that he was asleep.

He dug his nails into the palm of his hand. It was going to be a long night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day passed in a blur of numbness and tiredness bordering on exhaustion for Remus. He and Sirius were discharged from the hospital wing and allowed to re-enter the daily life of Hogwarts. However, Remus was too tired to listen properly in class, his concentration slipping every few minutes and a headache building up behind his ears. He was immensely grateful when the end of the day finally came and he was allowed to stagger up to the Gryffindor tower and collapse onto his bed. Immediately, he fell into a deep doze, only to be awoken by a whispered conversation taking place at the end of his bed. He recognised the voices of Sirius and James.

"I don't know, he's been acting really strange. And when I talked to him last night, he just yelled at me. It was unnerving, and so unlike him."

"Did you ask him about the scratches? Madame Pomfrey said they were long and fine, like human scratches."

"What do you think that means?"

"Maybe he got into a fight? Or maybe he's doing it himself?"

"Doing it himself? What for? And Moony, get into a fight? The whole school would have heard about that by now!"

"Well then, what do you think? It's my only explanation. And Remus isn't exactly co-operating."

"He's being really defensive as well. Today I had to ask three times for a teapot in transfiguration, and when I tapped him on the shoulder he snapped at me as though I was interrupting an important reverie or something. I don't know, he's just acting so unlike himself"

"Are you sure he's asleep?" James said suddenly

"Yeah," said Sirius peering round the drapes to look at the supposedly slumbering Remus "Out like a light."

At this point, Remus heard the door to the dormitories open and shut and Peter joined the conversation.

"Ready for the match tomorrow James? I heard Rodgers saying she was going to beat you to a pulp before you'd even got on the pitch."

James laughed, "Not with her aim she's not, anyway, it's whatserface, Dunn I'm worried about."

Remus stiffened at the name and a shiver of revulsion swept through him.

"Yeah, got a face like the back of a bus, I'd watch out if were you, she looks like the sort of person who wouldn't hesitate to get you up behind a wall and give you a good duffing up before the game."

Remus heard the laugh in Sirius' voice and felt something wrench at his chest.

"Listen, Sirius, did you talk to Remus last night? Only, I tried to talk to him today and he just ignored me"

"Yeah, we've all tried, he just doesn't want to talk to anybody." James replied "and apparently he nearly had Sirius' head off last night when he tried to talk to him."

"Well if he won't talk to Sirius then I don't see that he's going to talk to anyone. What is wrong with him?! And what about all those scratches?"

"Yeah, James thinks he's scratching himself" scoffed Sirius

"So what do you think?" Peter asked eagerly.

Remus couldn't stand listening to them discuss him any longer. Wrenching aside his curtains, he looked up into the shocked faces of his three friends.

"Remus..." said Sirius

"Have a nice little chat about me did you? A cosy little discussion about poor old Remus. What are you going to do with him?"

"Look, it wasn't like that..." began James

"I heard what it was like James, I was listening the whole time. You didn't think you could talk about me right at the end of my bed and not have me notice did you?"

The three boys stood looking at each other. Peter was going quite red and was wringing his hands and looking at James, while James was staring at Sirius who was looking directly at Remus. Remus was glaring angrily at each of them in turn. Suddenly he seemed to get sick of it and turning, he yanked his towel out of his trunk and pushed through the other boys towards the bathroom.

"We're only worried about you!" yelled Sirius from behind him

"Yeah? Well I don't need you to be worried about me Sirius Black! I don't need any of you to worry about me! I'm fine on my own ok? FINE!!"

And with that he stormed out of the dormitory and into the bathroom, leaving his friends staring helplessly after him.