Over the following week, big changes occurred in the friendships of the marauders and the whole school was commenting on them. For one thing, the so-called inseparable marauders were now rarely seen together, if Remus was seen at all, and it was rumoured that they weren't even talking to each other.

Peter denied this strongly, telling anyone who asked him that of course they were talking but that Remus and Sirius had taken James' injury very hard and were just coping in their own ways.

Sirius of course spread the rumours, adding that there had been a huge fight and that Remus had said he hated James as well as broadcasting the fact that he really wasn't talking to Remus.

Remus, if anyone could find him to talk to, never said anything and just replied that if they were so interested they could go and ask Sirius or Peter.

Remus was hardly ever seen now, disappearing as soon as the last lesson ended, skipping meals to hide in the library or to go for long walks around the school. He ate alone in the kitchens or didn't eat at all, depending on what he felt like. Mostly he didn't feel much so he didn't eat. Sometimes it felt like he was watching someone else living his life for him. He felt distant and apart from everything, as though none of it was really happening, and then at other times, he was all too aware of the fact that it was all real and that it was happening to him. It was as if he had a safety switch in his head; when too many emotions were threatening to explode, the switch just flipped and he was distant, numb to any pain he might be feeling. That is what happened the night when he looked through Sirius' sketchbook. All the shame, guilt, anger, confusion, hurt, and anguish caused by the events of the past week just built up until he could stand it no longer. He had almost made a conscious decision not to feel any more, to the flip the switch inside his head. That was why he skipped meals, avoided Peter, the whole school and especially Sirius Black. He didn't want to be forced into feeling again.

Sirius was the opposite of Remus. When Sirius was overwhelmed with emotions, he tended to focus on one feeling and pour all his energy into that, ignoring the others with the policy that if he didn't acknowledge them, they didn't exist. So he was focusing on anger, anger at Remus for not sharing what he was so obviously hiding, anger at himself for handling the situation so insensitively and basically just anger at everything. Being Sirius, he ignored the other feelings of confusion, pain, guilt, sorrow, and didn't explore the reasons for his own self-hatred. Instead, he surrounded himself with adoring girls and resolved to forget about Remus, to forget about everything apart from himself and what he wanted, and at the moment he wanted what most 16-year-old boys wanted; sex. So with a mixture of stubbornness and plain pig-headedness, Sirius turned his back on Peter, Remus and his own true feelings and surprisingly, he was admired for it.

Strangers approached him in the corridor, 'just to talk', people called out his name across the great hall, he could join any conversation and no one would object. He was an object of rumour and speculation, and after he moved on from Stella, to Emma and then onto Tracey, without so much as a pause or a 'how do you do?', the ordinary, everyday 'distant sex-god' Sirius Black rumours changed dramatically and it was said that he was making his way through most of the sixth year girls, and some of the seventh and fifth years too. The rumours were no secret to Sirius but he didn't seem to care, and no one knew whether they were true or not.

Whichever way, Sirius now had girls flinging themselves at him in corridors and lessons, battling to sit next to him and to win his favour. The fact that he seemed slightly mad, drinking too much, and acting the daredevil as though he didn't care if he lived or died, didn't seem to put anyone off and by the second Friday after the potions incident, Sirius had already gotten through 4 girls, all very pretty, all very desirable, and now all incredibly obsessed with Sirius Black.

Remus noticed all this-he would have to have been blind not to-with barely a flicker of emotion. But the scratches on his arms and legs and torso were getting longer and deeper, he was staying out later and avoiding people fanatically, ignoring them most of the time but when forced to talk answering only in grunts and monosyllables.

The one thing that the marauders shared in common was the loss of James. He had been their friend, their leader and the glue that kept the group together. When Sirius got annoyed at Peter and an impending row looked inevitable, James would step in and smooth it over. When Remus' anti-social behaviour threatened to isolate him from everybody, James would be there to draw him out and reconnect him with the world. Barely a day went by without one of the marauders, unbeknownst by the others, went to see Professor Dumbledore to ask about James' condition. The news was always the same; slipping in and out of consciousness, talking in his sleep, not getting any better, not getting any worse, as soon as any information was available to the school, Sirius, Remus and Peter would be the first to know.

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"Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, please sit down. I am sure you know why I have called you here." Dumbledore stood in his office, surrounded by his silver instruments and portraits of old headmasters. It was 7 o'clock on a November Friday evening and outside little flurries of snowflakes were falling, some catching on the windows before melting and some making it to the ground and settling before turning to water and disappearing into the cold, hard earth. Sirius, Remus, Lily and Peter sat down hesitantly, their faces each mirroring the others although none of them were looking at their friends, their eyes being fixed on the long bearded gentleman in front of them.

"We have had news, from St Mungos. James is fully awake and is beginning his recovery as from tomorrow."

A little gasp came from Lily, who immediately covered her face with her hands to hide the range of emotions fleeting across it.

"That's great!" gushed Peter, grinning around the room, oblivious to the grave expressions of his friends.

"There's something else isn't there?" asked Sirius testily, absorbed in watching his teacher's face and completely forgetting about the beautiful young fifth year waiting downstairs for him, "what aren't you telling us?"

Dumbledore sighed, and nodded, his eyes twinkling "Don't sound so accusing Sirius, it is nothing serious. James will not be coming back to school this term. St Mungos want to keep him in for observations for a while and then he will be going to his parents to recover fully."

Sirius sat back in his chair, absorbing the information and it was Lily who spoke next, lifting her head from her hands and gazing at the headmaster with clear green eyes.

"So we won't see him until January?!" she asked.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"But can't we go and visit him? I'm sure patients are allowed visitors at St Mungos. My aunt once had her hand turned into a pair of gardening shears and we were allowed to see her..."

Dumbledore cut Peter off with a wave of his hand, "St Mungos have told me that James will be allowed no visitors outside of his family to visit him in hospital. Once he is at home, it is up to his parents to decide."

"Megan and Humfrey are really nice, I'm sure we'll be allowed to" beamed Peter "And if we're not, January isn't that far off, is it?"

No one answered. Remus shifted in his seat, his eyes fixed on the ground, his face not showing anything.

"Right, well, if none of you have any more questions, you may leave." Dumbledore said gently. They all stood, not meeting each other eyes, despite Lily's attempts at catching Remus'. Just as they were making their way to the door, Dumbledore spoke again. "Sirius, Remus, may I request your company for a little longer, I think we need to talk."

Sirius looked annoyed and Remus' eyes darted towards the door, as though calculating if he could make a dash for it. However, both boys returned reluctantly to their seats.

The door had closed behind Lily, and Remus' heart began beating against his ribs. Now was his chance. Here he was, alone with Dumbledore and Sirius. He could tell them now. But almost immediately his mind rejected the idea-tell Sirius now? You wouldn't be able to see him for dust he'd be out of there so fast.

Dumbledore began to talk. "I have noticed that in the recent couple of weeks following James'...accident, you have both been acting out of character. I wanted to take this chance to talk to you to ask if there is anything that is troubling you?"

There was a silence, Sirius shifted in his chair and folded his arms over his chest pointedly.

Dumbledore carried on, "I have heard rumours that you two had a big fight, a disagreement of some sort perhaps? Don't look so surprised Remus, I may be the headmaster, but that doesn't mean I don't catch what you students talk about in school. So, are the rumours true?"

Remus formed the word 'no' but Sirius got there first; "Yes, they are true but I don't see how it is any business of yours. We can sort it out by ourselves."

Dumbledore took this calmly and then turned his unfathomable blue eyes to Remus' golden ones, "What is your opinion Remus?"

Remus averted his eyes, talking to the spot of wall behind Dumbledore's head. "Sirius and I had a row the night of James' accident. But everything is fine. Friendships can change professor, and perhaps our friendship has just run it's course and reached it's natural end. I don't think our relationship will ever be the same."

It was the most Remus had spoken for two weeks, and he spoke it in such a quiet voice that had a hard edge to it, that it sent a shiver through Sirius and left Dumbledore struggling to find a reply. Remus stood up abruptly, "I think that will be all Professor?" he asked.

Without waiting for an answer, he walked out of the room. Behind him he heard Dumbledore excuse Sirius and the sound of Sirius' shoes on the spiral staircase. He didn't turn around and coninued with such force that at the bottom, he almost sent someone flying as they stepped into his path. He grabbed their upper-arms to stop them tumbling backwards and his eyes met with a set of sparkling green ones.

"Remus?" said Lily enquiringly, "Where are you going?"

"Out" He let go of her arms and made to walk forewards, a restraining hand on his shoulder stopped him

"Oh Remus, not tonight, you've been going out everynight for almost two weeks. It's freezing out there, you'll catch your death."

"Good" he made a half-hearted attempt at shaking her off, but she stepped in front of him and her eyes were filled with pity and worry.

"Oh Remus, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine ok? I'm glad that James is going to be ok, I'm pleased that Sirius has got another girlfriend, I'm happy for everyone ok? I'm happy, happy, happy. Look, I'm smiling" He forced his mouth into a fake grin.

"Oh Remy." Lily's looked like she wanted to hug him and slap him at the same time. "Come up to the common room tonight. Please? For me. It'll be lovely. You won't be on your own and no one will force you to talk. Please?"

Remus relented and allowed himself to be guided along corridors to the stifling Gryffindor common room. A fire was burning in the grate, and thousands of lamps bracketed to the wall sent flickering shadows across the walls. People doing homework, writing letters home, chatting to their friends, and generally just basking in the friendly, warm atmosphere filled the room, lounging in chairs and sofas, draped across the backs of them, on the arms, settled into squashy pouffes and on large floor cushions. Lily managed to find them some places on a sofa next to some people from their DADA class. Across the room, in a large, comfortable armchair, Sirius black was nestled with a tall, willowy girl who Remus recognized as Juliet. She was sitting across his lap and her head was bent close to his face, sirius' lips moving against her forhead and his hand tangled in her long, black hair. She laughed genlty and he tilted her head back, their lips meeting. Remus watched from his position on the sofa as Juliet shifted to get a better position, purposefully pushing against Sirius' groin, shoving her tongue into his mouth at the same time. Sirius responded by drawing her closer to him, his hand roving underneath her blouse as they coninued their make-out session. Slowly, Sirius moved from Juliet's lips along her jaw line, planting delicate butterfly kisses until he reached her neck. He looked like a vampire with his jet-black hair and pale skin, his eye sockets were cast in shadow and there was nothing soft about his deep, dark eyes as they met Remus' and he bent and sucked at Juliet's neck.

Remus felt a tug on his robes and turned to look into Lily's eyes.

"Remus?"

He stood up abruptly, "Look, I'm really tired Lily, I think I'll go up to bed."

Ignoring her hurt and confused eyes, he swept from the stifling room into the cool air of the stairs.

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Remus lay in bed, his scratches stinging. He listened as first Peter and then Sirius came up to bed. His hearing picked up when the last people left the common room, and then when the house elves came to clear and tidy. He heard the earliest risers getting up for breakfast, the rush of water in pipes as people took their morning showers, footsteps filled his ears as the school awoke and came to life. He waited until Sirius and Peter had left the room before dragging himself out of bed and dressing. It was Saturday, a Hogsmeade weekend as well. Remus decided on skipping breakfast, taking a long walk, spending the rest of the morning in the library and then maybe having a late lunch, however, when he reached the common room his plans were dashed by a certain red-head.

"God remus, how long does it take you to get up in the mornings?" huffed Lily as she stood up from a sofa.

"I thought the common room was empty." Said Remus stupidly. Lily's eyebrows quirked and she smiled slightly.

"You are strange Remus. Oh well, grab your cloak and scarf from the dorms, I think we might just have enough time for breakfast if we hurry."

"What are you talking about Lily?" Remus was being forced to engage with another human being and he wasn't sure he like it. "I've got plenty of time for breakfast."

"Not if we're going to Hogsmeade, now go and get your stuff, I'll wait down here."

"But I'm not going to Hogsmeade1" protested Remus "I'm staying here, I...I...I have homework to do"

"Do it later! Now hurry up!!"

Remus grumbled as he walked back up the stairs to retrieve his gloves, scarf and cloak.

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For the rest of the day, Remus followed Lily around Hogsmeade and was forced to partake in her merry chatter. Unwillingly, Remus was being drawn back out into the world.

In the afternoon, exhausted, they entered a heaving Three Broomsticks, ordered two butterbeers and went and sat with a group of chattering seventh years who said 'hello' to Lily and shot a quizzicle look at Remus before returning to their discussion of the best form of revision technique.

Lily and Remus sat in comfortable silence, letting their feet warm up and sipping at their butterbeers. The group of seventh years left, still arguing and a few pleasurable minutes went by before the door was opened and Sirius and Juliet walked in. Lily saw them and a smile creased her face, two dimples apearing in her cheeks.

"Sirius! Juliet! Over here!"

Sirius seemed to consider for a moment about coming over or not but after a second of internal debate, he crossed over to them, Juliet hanging off his arm.

"Hey Lils, Remus. How are you?" the question was adressed to Lily but Sirius' eyes flicked to Remus while Lily was speaking. Remus didn't take his eyes off Sirius' face.

"Huh? Sorry Lils, did you just say something? Mind elsewhere" Sirius smiled at her and Juliet laughed.

"He's always daydreaming nowadays aren't you?" she said in a sugary sweet voice. A look of intense irritation passed over Sirius' features but he forced it into a smile, showing his teeth to her and squeezing her to his side. That one hasn't got long left, thought Remus. His heart was pumping fast in his chest. He hadn't been this close to Sirius, in a talking enviroment, since before James' accident. As though she could read his mind, Juliet spoke up.

"It's great isn't it, about James recovering from his accident like that. A real miracle."

Sirius shrugged her head off his shoulder and Remus could see he was trying to keep his temper. Juliet carried on oblivious.

"It was terrible, the accident. I saw it all. Horrible. Poor James, he's so brave coping with it all. I wouldn't have been able to."

"Firstly, it wasn't an accident. You say you saw the whole thing, then you can't have failed to notice the bitch that hit the bludger at his head. You make it sound like it was his fault, James didn't end up in hospital because he made a mistake Juliet, he was hit by a bludger from the side. Secondly, James doesn't have much of a choice about 'coping with it', unless you didn't know, james was in a coma until yesterday. And lastly, I'm sure a lot more people than just you are glad that it's not you lying in hospital because if it was then they wouldn't be able to watch this."

At that point, a stricken Juliet looked around the room and realised that everyone was staring at her. Sirius' voice had got louder throughout his tirade but now he dropped it and bent close to her ear, "Goodbye Juliet" he whispered before sweeping out of the pub to a hushed audience.

As soon as the door had stopped swinging and people had turned back to their drinks, Juliet burst into tears.

"The bastard, the bastard" she choked as Lily moved around the table to comfort her. Remus stayed where he was, a sense of elation filling him. Hahahahahahahaha he felt like saying to her. And to Sirius. Look at you, you're falling apart, I'm not the only one going mad here. You're just doing it louder.