wow, finally chapter 14 is here. i'm sorry it took so long but i've been really busy will sshool work and stuff. also i had a bit of writers block and lots of other things were going on. anyway, it's here now, so enjoy and please review.
thanks to all the reviewers for my last chapters-they were all really appreciated.
(oh and i still can't get it to let me put in little lines or dashes or anything to let me indicate the passing of time, so i've just written it. -if anyone knows how to let the document maneger thingy let you use dashes or whatever, please tell me, thanks)
Remus ran.
He ran as fast as his agile limbs would take him. The sky above the castle and grounds was a clear, indigo blue, speckled with the white light of stars billions of light-years away. The moon hung like a pendant at the breast of the sky and it's pearly radiance bathed the grounds in moonshine, sending confusing shadows across the lawns and reflecting off the opaque surface of the lake. Ominous storm clouds hovered like fat black flies on the horizon, a stiff wind blew through the trees of the forbidden forest, sending dead leaves cartwheeling through the air.
Remus didn't notice any of it, he just ran. And behind him, Padfoot followed.
Remus ran directly towards the forbidden forest, ignoring Hagrid's cabin, the empty pumpkin patch, and the glassy lake. His paws made no noise as they hit the grass and after he had entered the forest, the branches sprung back as though he had never been there.
The two runners weren't interrupted in their running through the forest; the centaurs, giant spiders, thestrals and all manner of other wildlife knew better than to disturb a werewolf on a mission.
The forest was thick, and it's leafless branches obscured and diluted what little moonshine there was so that none of it reached the ground. There was no path but the werewolf seemed to know it's way and it weaved through the trunks of trees as though it had been born there.
Padfoot could do nothing but follow and he thanked merlin that he had chosen a dog as an animagus instead of a stag or a rat. At least he had night vision and could keep up with his quarry.
The pair ran through the forest diagonally, missing out it's heart, for hours without pause or respite. Close to midnight, they emerged from the forest onto dry, rocky earth. Ahead, mountains loomed out of the darkness, their tips capped in snow standing out in brilliant white against the clouds hovering behind them. The wind had got stronger and it brought with it a chill of ice. Padfoot felt a shiver run through him and felt a deep foreboding. To their left, a small town twinkled with lights and decorations. A flashing Father Christmas, visible from this distance, waved at them happily as they sped onwards towards the mountains.
The werewolf had long ago forgotten why it was running, all it knew was that there had been a boy. A boy who he loved and hated, who confused him and made everything clear at the same time, who was dangerous and safe, beautiful and harsh, who made him want to scream and laugh, a boy who he had known for ever and had yet to know. A boy who he must not hurt, who he must stay away from at all costs.
But the boy was following him, only now it was a dog. Something had happened last time the werewolf had met the dog. Something bad for the boy. He had to get away from it. Faster! Screamed a voice inside it's head, Faster, further, quicker!
The confused werewolf put on a burst of speed and had soon lengthened the distance between itself and the dog. The dog tried desperately to keep up, forcing it's tired limbs to keep on going. But the distance only grew longer until the dog tripped over it's own paws and the werewolf was lost from it's sight.
Although neither canine knew it, they were running along the edge of a disused quarry. The ground fell away sharply to their left, and the coarse grass was replaced by scree and large boulders. Occasionally, there would be a sheep's skull or the remains of a fire, lit long ago by a wandering tramp.
Remus ran haphazardly towards the mountains, his tongue hanging out. The thirst for blood was driving him crazy. He had been running non-stop for almost four hours and his werewolf nature rebelled at the pointlessness of running away from a creature smaller and inferior to it. We could take on the dog, it thought, we don't need to run. We could drink the dog's blood and grow stronger, and then go to the town and drink the people's blood. We could fill the streets with blood, spilling, gushing.
We are thirsty...
Remus shook his large, shaggy head and continued running. The dog was still behind him, not near, but still there, and the werewolf wouldn't stop running until the dog was gone.
to indicate the passing of time
Three hours later, the wolf was still running although at a slower pace then when it started. It was running uphill and was nearing the top of the mountain. Below it, the dog was still following, but it was limping and if the wolf had stopped it would still have taken it around half an hour to catch up. But the wolf didn't stop. It continued.
to indicate the passing of time
The rusty colour of dried blood coated his muzzle and the werewolf could still taste blood on it's tongue. It was bitterly cold, the werewolf's breath appearing in puffs in front of it's face and frost coating the scrubby mountainside and a few miles back, the wolf had had to give in to it's urges and had slaughtered six sheep. It hadn't been interested in the flesh of the animals, leaving it for the scavengers to eat after he had moved on. Instead, he sucked their blood, his nose buried in the warm coat of the sheep, drinking each life away. It warmed him and he had been able to move on, but the process of slaughtering had taken maybe half an hour and given the dog a chance to make up the distance between them.
Ahead of the werewolf, a path curved around the side of the mountain. He hadn't been consciously following it, but now that it registered, the werewolf used it. It was easier than going up the almost vertical slope and it provided relief from the sharp rocks and bits of broken glass that were constantly scratching the wolf's paws as it climbed up the mountain side.
As the werewolf and dog climbed, one the pursuer the other the pursued, they didn't notice the heavy storm clouds that they were now directly beneath. Their dark bulk stood out against the steadily lightening sky. Dawn was still a few hours away but for the werewolf it barely registered. He had to get away from the dog. He pressed forwards, his head into the icy wind that blew over the mountain. Behind him, the dog did the same.
Soon, they were both over the brow of the mountain. The wind was blowing stronger on the other side, and the dew beginning to form on the ground immediately turned to frost that cracked beneath their paws. The band of ever increasing light on the horizon was now worrying the wolf. Just the sight of the light was enough to make it feel weaker. Inside it, Remus was waking up as though from a sleep.
Huh? Where am I? Thought the Remus, What's happening?
As it slowly registered with Remus what was happening and where he was, it didn't occur to him that he could stop running. He just followed the reasoning of the night before and continued. It was still quite dark and the sun wouldn't appear for another two hours.
Meanwhile, above him, a few flakes of snow began to fall. They fluttered down slowly and melted before they reached the ground. They hit the earth silently and became ice or frost.
to indicate the passing of time
Two and a half hours later, the snow was falling thick and fast, obscuring the view of the ground and the winter sun's weak rays. Remus was still a werewolf but his coat was thinner and he was finding it harder to run. His human psyche was fully awake now and it was trying to reason with the immovable and stubborn wolf. As his running became slower and his breathing more laboured, the dog was catching up. The gap between them was closing steadily.
Remus' mind was whirling, he couldn't remember any of the night before. Vague feelings of warmth and thirst told him that he had killed something and the taste of blood on his teeth told him he was right. He couldn't control the shivers that wracked his frame and his limbs felt exhausted. He was going down hill now and at every step he had to brace his joints to stop himself from pitching forwards into the swirling whiteness. He turned another bend in the path and for some unknown reason his body chose that moment to respond to the weak sunlight that was making its way through the snow to the ground.
Bones snapped, muscles shortened, hair disappeared, teeth fell out, claws retracted, nails grew, limbs and extremities changed shape, toes grew and suddenly, with a huge juddering of his whole body, Remus was transformed.
The only problem was, he couldn't stop running. Gravity and the downwards slope were too much for his exhausted human limbs to cope with and although he tried weakly to dig his heels into the powdery snow, he just couldn't stop. Finally, after a few metres, his knees gave out and he collapsed to the ground. Unluckily for him, the ground was at an almost 60degree angle and as soon as he had collapsed, he began to slide and roll down the incline, his naked body hitting partially hidden rocks and bits of trees. The snow stuck in his hair and ears, and particularly sensitive bits of his anatomy began to scream at their indecent exposure to the elements. He thought he had finally come to a stop when he hit a large boulder side-on, causing his skin to tear on that side. He opened his eyes and saw the blood mixing with the snow on the ground. Putting a hand behind himself, he tried to sit up, but his hand only pushed away the snow that had been supporting him and he continued his journey head first. He was still conscious when his face hit another rock and his nose erupted in pain. He couldn't tell if it was melting snow or blood trickling across his lips and he didn't bother to find out, surrendering himself totally to his downward dissent.
He couldn't have been tumbling down the snowy mountainside for more than a couple of minutes before he came to rest, but to Remus it felt like hours. He felt himself slowing down and a glimmer of hope ignited somewhere in his chest-maybe he would survive this fall into hell after all. As he slid slowly downwards, he felt the back of his knee hit something vertical. Instinctively, he wrapped his leg around it. His body continued going but once he was lying with his head towards the bottom of the mountain, and all the strain was on his left knee, he stopped completely.
Remus was still conscious and he wished he wasn't. The pain in his body was too much to bear and the coldness of the snow was freezing him to the bones. He didn't know how long he lay there for, but at some point he thought he heard someone calling his name. He opened his eyes, or rather his left one, as the right one had swelled shut, but closed it again quickly after a snowflake fell into it. He was probably imagining things-after all, it couldn't be Sirius; Sirius was probably still on the path, wondering where Remus was. Nonetheless, Remus decided that he might as well make some noise to attract whoever was looking for him to the right place and to keep himself from falling asleep in the icy whiteness. Screaming or shouting was out of the question, his throat was sore from howling the night before, he wouldn't be able to keep it up. Suddenly, the words of an old lullaby came into his head, as though someone had planted them there. Quietly at first and then louder, he began to sing.
When I was a young man my daddy told me
A lesson he learned, was a long time ago
If you want to have someone to hold onto
You're gonna have to learn to let go
You got to sing sometimes like you don't need the money
Love sometimes like you'll never get hurt
You got to dance dance dance like nobody's watchin'
It's gotta come from the heart if you want it to work
Now here is the one thing that I keep forgetting
When everything is falling apart
In life as in love what I need to remember
There's such a thing as trying to hard
You got to sing sometimes like you don't need the money
Love sometimes like you'll never get hurt--
Remus felt warm hands on his arms, and he felt himself being slowly lifted into someone's lap. The pressure was taken off his knee, he blinked the snow off his eyelashes and his one working eye gazed up into twin pools of brown.
"I thought you were never going to get here" He croaked before he surrendered completely to the impending blackness.
to indicate the passing of time
Remus woke up slowly to the sound of rushing wind and a quiet dripping. He was lying down on a cold, hard surface and he realised that he was no longer outside on the mountain. Occasionally he would feel the wind across his face and he would shiver slightly beneath the material that was covering him. He was cold but not as cold as he had been before, and the goosebumps that covered his skin could be easily ignored. He opened his eyes carefully before realising that his right eye was completely healed. He put a hand down and levered himself up. He was inside a small cave filled with white light. Outside, it had stopped snowing but the fierce wind sent occasional flurries of snow up from the ground where it had settled. Leading away from the cave was a path that looked like it had been made by something being dragged along and at the entrance to the cave was a pile of dead wood. Remus noticed that the dripping noise was coming from a melting icicle at the lip of the entrance.
Remus shivered again as another gust of wind entered the cave; apart from the cloak-Sirius' cloak-that was wrapped around him, all he had on was a pair of socks and some pants. Sirius' socks, Sirius' pants. Despite himself, Remus couldn't help picking up the edge of the cloak to see what type he was wearing. They were a blue and red tartan pair with a slight rip at the hem and a button missing at the front. Remus thought he recognised them as a pair that used to be James' that had been lent to Sirius one holiday and had never been returned. At the same time he saw his knee. It was swelled to about the size of a grapefruit and was an assortment of colours-reds, blues, purples. Hell, there was even some green in there. Now that he had noticed it, he began to feel it. It was a dull ache that stretched through his entire leg. He shifted it experimentally and had to bite his tongue to stop himself from crying out in pain as a shock went through him. Maybe it was best just to leave that leg alone.
At that moment he thought he heard a scraping noise. It wasn't near but his ears picked up the distant crunch and scrape of someone walking and dragging something at the same time. Immediately, he dropped the cloak back to it's original position and waited, his breath held, listening intently. A few moments later, Sirius appeared around the edge of the cave, dragging a large branch of dead pine. His face was serious and intent as he came in and chucked the branch onto the pile he'd already gathered. He looked up and his face immediately creased into a warm smile.
"You're awake!" he said "Thank Merlin-I thought I was going to have to carry you all the way back to Hogwarts!"
His face was flushed red by the cold wind but he was wearing a floppy woollen hat and gloves and he was wearing two jumpers, a pair of thick corduroys and heavy black boots.
When Remus only gave a weak smile in response, Sirius turned away to look at the pile of wood.
"I'm going to make a fire. I hope you're not too cold-I tried to cover you up a bit but I suppose I could have given you one of my jumpers or something." His forehead creased in concern.
"Thanks for the boxers" Remus managed.
Sirius grinned to hear his friend speaking again and began to break up the piece of pine.
"I thought you should be covered up" he grinned
Remus blushed a deep red at the thought of Sirius taking off his pants and touching Remus with his large, slightly rough hands. He was glad that Sirius was facing away from him and couldn't see his face.
"Don't worry about me, I had two pairs on" Sirius said, still not looking up from the wood.
"Someone might almost think that you had prepared for a night time race over snowy mountains." Remus said
Sirius turned around from the pile of wood. "After we had our...fight, on...Monday, I pulled on all the clothes I could find and went straight to the shrieking shack."
"So that's where you were. Lily was worried."
There was an awkward pause.
"Do you need another jumper? You look a bit chilly"
"Yes please, I'm freezing."
"Sorry" said Sirius sheepishly as he began to pull his top jumper off. It tugged at the tops underneath, revealing his flat stomach in the cold light that came reflected off the snow outside. Remus knew that he should look away but he was too tired for such trivial niceties and he stared openly at Sirius' abs. A line of dark, downy hair, still slightly fluffy, ran down from his belly button, disappearing into the top of his trousers. His stomach was toned and flat; despite his aversion to the only wizard sport, Quidditch, Sirius enjoyed running and would run around the school grounds on weekend mornings whilst everyone else was enjoying breakfast.
Sirius handed Remus his jumper, tugging down his other tops absentmindedly, apparently not noticing Remus' stare. He smiled and turned back to the wood pile, breaking up the smaller branches and leaving the logs to one side. He then pulled the smallest twigs off the branches and pulled some more out of his pocket.
"Kindling" he said to Remus.
"Mmm" mumbled Remus, struggling to pull the jumper over his head. It was warm and soft and smelt overwhelmingly of Sirius. Remus inhaled deeply and then pulled it down gently over his tired and aching body. He was surprised by how baggy it felt on him. He had always been slightly smaller than Sirius, slightly thinner, but Sirius' clothes had always fit him well enough. They had always been slightly too large for him but now Sirius' jumper was positively falling off him. So for that matter were the boxers. He reached a hand down surreptitiously and yanked them up from where they were hanging off his hips.
Sirius worked quickly. He built up a small pile of kindling balanced on two logs. Under the gap between them and the cave floor, he put some sheep's wool that had been dried by his body heat. He then lit the sheep's wool using his wand. The kindling soon caught fire as well and Sirius began building a pyramid of larger sticks and twigs around it. The sticks got larger and larger until he was placing logs onto the fast burning fire.
He then moved back and sat next to Remus who was sitting with his one good knee pulled up to his chin, staring pensively into the flames.
"What time is it?" asked Sirius after a few minutes of companionable silence.
"Dunno, my watch must've broken when I transformed."
"Ah well, we'll just have to live in ignorance then. By the look of it outside I'd say it's way past 12."
"There's probably a spell you can do to find out."
"Probably. But I can't be bothered."
"It's definitely past lunch."
"Mmmm. And tea-time. I could murder a hot pie"
"Or a jacket potato with melted cheese and baked beans."
"Or hot vanilla custard with apple sponge"
"Or fresh pancakes with maple syrup and banana slices."
"Ooh, stop it, you're making me hungry."
"When was the last time you ate?"
"I took some food with me to the shack. Some chocolate, pasties, some rolls."
"You got any left?" Remus looked up eagerly from the fire.
"I've got half a bar of chocolate left."
Remus' face fell. "We'd better save it 'till later when we're even hungrier."
"Yeah..." said Sirius glumly.
Remus glanced at Sirius who was gazing into the flames, a strand of long dark hair falling into his face. It felt weird to be sitting here with Sirius, having the first normal conversation they'd had in weeks.
"I could use my wand to summon something from that town we passed last night."
"We passed a town last night?"
"Yeah, it was really pretty, just before we reached the mountains. All lit up in the dark. I could summon some food or something."
"It's probably a muggle town. We can't risk it. What would they think if they saw a loaf of bread floating through the air?"
"I could transform and go and fetch something."
Remus looked over at Sirius and found him looking straight back. "How long did it take us to cross the mountains last night?" he asked, quickly averting his eyes, embarrassed at the brief eye contact.
"Don't know. Hours? I suppose it's a bit far away. It'll be dark soon and it looks like it's going to snow again."
"That doesn't sound like the Sirius I know" smiled Remus, "What about staying out all night, stealing things from cupboards and the devil may care attitude?"
"Well," said Sirius defensively, "I'm tired. And unless you've forgotten, I stayed out all night last night."
"Oh yeah. Sorry. I mean, you didn't have to." Remus felt his face flushing. "I would've been fine. Er but, um, yeah, sorry."
Ignoring Remus' apologies, Sirius went straight to the heart of the matter. "What d'you mean I didn't have to? You were IN SCHOOL on a full moon. I shouldn't even have to tell you what that means. And then, when I found you, disappeared into the night. I didn't know if you'd ever come back! I had to follow you."
There was a short, embarrassed silence in which Sirius' face coloured considerably and Remus tried to think of something to say.
"Thanks."
"No problem."
A log collapsed into the fire, sending sparks dancing through the cold air. Outside it was getting dark and thick clouds obscured the sky. The icicle had refrozen and had stopped dripping, leaving a small puddle of ice on the cave floor. Both boys edged closer to the fire and each other, Remus trying not to wince as he inched his knee slightly to the left. They started talking at the same time.
"What were you--"
"Why did you--"
"You first,"
"No you,"
They grinned sheepishly at each other and Remus continued, "Why did you come back into school to look for me? I mean, it would have been the last place I'd have looked if I had been you."
"Well, when you didn't come to the shrieking shack at dusk, I began to get worried. You never have supper on a full moon so I was a bit surprised that you hadn't come to the shack directly after lessons. After another hour or something, I was fairly sure that I wasn't about to sprout fangs and turn into a creature of the night and so I decided to go back to Hogwarts and watch the entrance to see if you'd appear. When you didn't-and it was really dark by this time-I decided that you'd probably run out to the forbidden forest and that I'd never find you, so I went back up to the school. I noticed that there was a light on in one of the classrooms on the third floor- I assumed that it would just be one of the teachers, preparing a lesson for tomorrow, but I wasn't tired at all and I was a bit curious so I changed my route and went along the third floor. Merlin, I can't tell you how surprised I was to hear your voice behind that door."
"I can imagine" said Remus, his voice not quite as steady as it might have been, sensing the question that was about to come.
"Remus, if you don't mind me asking, what were you doing in that room with Dunn?"
Remus felt as though he had just stuck his face in the flames, he could feel it glowing red. His mind went blank "I..I..I..erm."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Sirius added quickly, looking away. A silence ensued, Remus was fighting an internal battle about whether he should tell Sirius or not, when Sirius spoke.
"I know that, over the last couple of weeks, I have been a bit-ok maybe a lot-of a prick. And I know that we haven't talked much since that fight we had outside the hospital wing, but just for a moment, see last night from my point of view. I don't know what's going on inside your head, but when I opened the door of that room last night I didn't know what was happening. The last time that you, I and Dunn were all in that near a proximity to each other, she had just knocked James unconscious with a bludger and was in the process of beating me to a pulp while you stood and watched and then ran away. To open that door and find you with her...I just don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking Remus. What's going on between you and her because, if you don't tell me, I will find out."
Sirius had worked himself up over the course of his rather confusing speech (hey, it made sense to him) and Remus had been feeling more and more trapped. That familiar need to run tugged at his chest, and his legs jerked slightly underneath Sirius' cloak, sending spasms of pain shooting up from his left knee. He gasped and then looked at Sirius whose intense brown eyes seemed to be burning in his head. Remus made a decision. His heart pounded in his chest and his mouth went immediately dry. After putting it off for so long, Remus couldn't believe that the time had finally come. It seemed as though the world was holding it's breath for him.
"Sirius" he said finally, clearing his throat, "There's something I need to tell you. I should have told you ages ago, I've been meaning to, I was going to and then all this shit started happening and.."
"whoah, slow down. Start from the beginning."
"It feels like it started years ago, but it was only in October."
to indicate the passing of time
"Fuck!" yelled Sirius, so loudly that it echoed around the cave walls and bounced back at them –fuckfuckfuckfuck.
"She what? I can't believe she, I can't believe you, fuck, bollocks, shit. I'm going to fucking kill her when I see her next, I'm going to fucking I'm going to..."
Remus watched as Sirius exploded, his fists waving, his face turning red in the light of the fire. Outside, the moon had appeared and Remus watched the clouds as they scudded across the sky. It felt as though a great weight had been lifted off his chest. He inhaled deeply and smiled tentatively at the moon. Sirius stopped his tirade of abuse and looked oddly at Remus.
"What're you smiling about?"
Remus started guiltily but continued smiling "It feels so great to have told someone." He said.
Sirius grinned "You idiot, I just don't know why you didn't tell me sooner, instead of keeping it to yourself"
"We weren't exactly talking" Remus reminded him and Sirius' face clouded.
"God, I'm such a bastard" he muttered "All I was thinking about was myself when all the time you, you.."
"Forget it"
"How can I when I know you won't?!" Sirius' eyes blazed "I will kill her when we get back to school"
"No!" Remus' face grew alarmed, "Don't, then everyone will know what happened."
"No they won't, I'll say I'm doing it for James. I can't believe I haven't done it sooner. I was too scared, too much of a wimp to take her on. I make myself sick!"
"Stop it!" yelled Remus suddenly "This isn't about you! This is about me. If I decide to do anything about it, then I will, but when I'm ready."
"You're right. I'm sorry" said Sirius quietly. He looked down at his knees and then back into Remus' eyes. "Will you forgive me?"
Remus couldn't look away. Sirius' eyes were a dark brown and seemed to be depthless. Remus suddenly realised how close they were. Their thighs were almost pressing and Remus remembered last Halloween when he had passed up getting into Sirius' bed. What would have happened if he had? Would they even be here now? A gust of wind came into the cave, blowing ashes from the fire across the two boys.
"I forgive you" whispered Remus. He could feel Sirius' breath ghosting over his face and was having trouble swallowing. Sirius' features were sharp in the flickering fire light and he looked both powerful and fragile and the shadows across his cheek bones lengthened and shortened.
"You have some ash in your hair" said Remus finally. He reached his hand up to brush the piece of ash from the other boy's black locks but Sirius had already tipped his head forwards and was shaking it from side to side like a dog to dislodge the ash. It was such a typically Sirius thing to do that Remus might have laughed if his heart hadn't been beating in his throat. Sirius stopped shaking his head suddenly and lifted it so that the strands flicked into Remus' face. Their eyes connected and Remus realised with a painful thud of his heart that they were much closer now than they had been before. Their noses were almost touching. Time seemed to stand still for the boys, each only aware of the other's presence. Sirius' head moved forwards slightly jerkily at the same time as Remus' did. Their noses were pressed lightly against each others, their breath mingling in the small distance between their lips. Neither took their eyes off the other, but later neither could say who kissed the other first. All they knew was that their lips touched and for those few seconds, nothing seemed to matter. It was complete bliss. There was no pushing, no tongues, no forcefulness of any kind. Just a sweet, equal pressure that filled both boys with a wonderful sense of freedom and release. They broke away slowly, as though unwilling to give the contact up.
"Sirius-"
"Shhh...it's ok"
Sirius held Remus in his arms, as for the first time in a long time, Remus cried.
to indicate the passing of time
The fire had burnt down to embers and their soft glow lit the cave with a light the colour of rust or blood. Sirius and Remus lay together under the cloak, sharing space and body heat. They had eaten their only source of food long ago and the taste of sweet kisses and chocolate lingered on their lips. Although their breathing was steady and slow, they weren't asleep and each was staring at the ceiling, lost in their own thoughts.
"Remus..."
"Mmmm..."
"What's it like becoming a werewolf?"
Remus contemplated the question, his chest rising and falling in time with Sirius'.
"You can't really describe it" he said at last, "it's the most painful and wonderful experience."
Sirius didn't interrupt but Remus could sense his query. "I mean, all the bones in your body break, your muscles change shape and your teeth and nails fall out. You grow fangs and hair all over your body. It hurts like nothing else in this world.
But at the same time, it's like a drug. You feel powerful, in control, your instincts and senses are so sharp and intense. Nothing can harm you but you can harm anything you want to. And at the end of the transformation, when you're just lying there on the ground with it all pumping through you...it's almost orgasmic."
"wow..." breathed Sirius after a while.
"Mmmm, but afterwards, when you change back, it's horrible. You feel weak, lethargic, ill and confused. It's horrible. But the worst thing is, is that every month I half look forward to the full moon. In a weird, perverse way; It's my drugs. Just that first rush of power, it's almost worth all the pain, the headaches, the nausea."
"I can't imagine..." said Sirius
"You don't need to."
After a while, the embers went out, their heat still emanating through the cave, and the moon rose above the clouds. A few flakes of snow fell feebly onto the frozen white mountainside and an owl flew across the sky, hooting melanchlolily. The two boys entwined in each others arms slept peacefully, the world around them forgotten completely as their dreams were taken up with each other.
A flash of red showed at the entrance as a large bird settled there. It's plumage was gold and red and it's wingspan would have filled the whole entrance. Fawkes peered into the darkness, cocked his head to one side and then turned and flew back into the night. Meanwhile, the two boys slept peacefully on, blissfully unaware.
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