Dr. Strangelouvre
Cause 4:
-
I'm dreaming. Just to warn you, this won't be pretty. I'm naked, and I'm running away from a giant Komodo dragon lizard that wants to chomp off my dick.
Cause and effect.
Cause: probably the squid sushi.
Anyway, you know what these dreams are like. You can't get away from the Komodo dragon or the boogey man or the French gynecologist, whoever is after you is waiting for you around every corner. Sure, it's just a dream, but it's my nuts on the line here. Anyway, somehow I find an alleyway that doesn't have a lizard shadow in it. So I run in and, of course it's a dead end. Here it comes, no way out now, he's coming. I can hear that rasp-rasp-rasp of his claws cutting across the ground towards me like I'm the discovery channel blue-plate special. Then nothing. Just as the rasp becomes it's loudest; silence. Just for a moment.
Then the lizards' teeth come jutting out around of my groin and the razor-sharp fangs surround my kit.
Oh.
No.
Please.
No.
God.
No.
Shit.
No.
The teeth stick out and gobble up my whole kit in one chomp, and then the teeth pull back inside me, leaving only toothless lips behind.
That's when I wake up. I reach down to check my unit.
My dream came true.
I grab pop, and start shaking him.
Dad wake up. I say. The lizard ate my dick. Wake up. Help me. It ate my frikking dick.
He wakes up and places his hand gently but firmly on my shoulders. His steadfast eyes look at me through the twilight gleam in his specticals. He speaks softly and consolingly to me "Ranma..." Then he throws me across the room. I slam bug-on-windshield style into the wall.
"Shut up boy, you just turned into a girl. You asshole."
It's at that moment when I realize I'm Ranma. I got the whole cursed spring thing going for me. I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to be a girl, but I am. Envious? Don't be. Resting here upside-down on my head and shoulders, looking sideways at the floor, my whole life up to this moment comes out of the dream-world and into focus. The fianc's, the curse, the rivals, the fights, sushi. finally I remember today.
Today.
Dammit.
After Ryoga clonked me into the netherworld, I came to, and hovering above me is yet another guy in a lab coat. I'm on my feet in a flash with my fists up. I ask if Strangelouvre sent him.
"Who's Strangelouvre?"
The nancy-ass, psycho-bitch loving, French gynecologist Strangelouvre.
"Uhhhhh, no."
Alright then, I say. So what does he want?
"Walk with me, talk with me."
So we head to a nearby bench and talk. Apparently, Ryoga couldn't sacrifice a goat this year. He wasn't about to be Bahr Mitzvahed, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna get circumcised. All the same; Ryoga was looking for a right of passage. That's where I fit in. All this according to his new psychologist, Dr. Gomez Noitaru. This guy's almost the polar opposite of Strangelouvre. He's got these slim, glancy brown eyes, and dark hair tied up bushy in a red bandana, just about my height. Anyway, he explains the last few days events to me. How he met Ryoga.
The story is that he was traveling through the woods, just taking a hike, when he heard some crashing noises in the distance. He walked up and saw Ryoga breaking boulders with his fingertips. He goes up to Ryoga and asks;
How do you do that?
Ryoga replies;
None of your business.
Dr. Noitaru says;
Come on, show me.
Ryoga says;
No.
Anyway, this goes on for a while. Bottom line is, they start fighting. Kick, punch, block, punch, punch, chop, kick, elbow.
Suddenly, Noitaru asks "How do you feel?"
Knee, Heel, toe, lock, escape, grapple, plant, throw, roll, stand, kick, block.
"I feel angry" Ryoga says.
Head-butt. Backhand.
"Talk about that."
Kick. Leg-trap. block-trip. Hand-plant. Summersault. Flying kick.
"I want to find my way to Akane, I want to defeat Ranma. But I can't find my way."
"How did that make you feel?"
In-air inverted quadruple scissor kick. Bullet dodging lean. Meteo.
This goes on for like 30 minutes. All the while; Ryoga is going on and on about how much his life sucks, and Noitaru is just taking notes in his head. At the end of the thirty minutes, the two fighters, exhausted, and gasping faced one another, and Noitaru takes out a post-it pad and a pen and he screams at Ryoga.
"B.F. Skinner School of martial-arts psychology FINAL ATTACK! DIAGNOSIS STRIKE!"
He charges Ryoga.
Ryoga picks up four rocks, and throws them up in the air.
"Ryoga Hibiki special attack! Breaking-point-blank!"
I don't even think I believe what I'm hearing. Ryoga, using only his pointer fingers, pushed the rocks into Noitaru's chest, and blasted each of them with the buksei-tetkets right against him. The exploding rocks send Noitaru flying up into the crotch of a tree, and he hung there like a stranded kite. Ryoga turns up his head in a cocky manner and turns around.
He says. "Well, I guess I showed you. I school no one. I'm a marital artist for the sole purpose of defeating Ranma, so don't come asking me for any more advice, you hear?" Ryoga starts to walk away when Noitaru looks up and yells at him "Wait!" He says "Before you go, check the front of your bandana." Ryoga puts his hand up, and there's a little post it stuck there. He takes it off, and looks at it. His muscles clench. His blood boils. His eyebrows twitch. Veins start sprouting up all over him in anger.
"What the Hell is this supposed to mean?"
Fear.
That was what was written on the post it. Noitaru's diagnosis: My continual victory and scorn over him has adjusted Ryoga's behavior. According to Dr. Noitaru, this is known as classical conditioning. Cause and effect. Having been attacked and beaten every time we meet, Ryoga now has an in-built mechanism to become lost, and avoid me at all costs. According to Noitaru, he's not lost, he knows exactly where he's supposed to go, and he will attempt to avoid going there as long as he can, in order to avoid me. His misdirection is only skin deep. Deep down inside, it's his fear keeping him from going anywhere.
After Noitaru told me this I sat still for a few moments and I scratched my chin. I then turned to him.
Horse...Shit.
Ryoga needs a YOU ARE HERE sign in order to use a phone-booth and Ryoga's ALWAYS been like that. And now Noitaru gonna come along, and tell ME that it's MY fault?
"Believe what you want, I'm only telling you because you are the stumbling block. According to my diagnosis, Ryoga will continue on this course until he rids you from his life."
Getting Ryoga out of my life? Where do I sign?
"I'm afraid it's not that simple." He says "He is going to have to defeat you, and he might do even worse, but don't worry. I'm going to do all that I can."
Well, all right then. It's good to see the doctor is making some sense.
"I'll make sure it'll be a spectacular fight."
Excuse me?
"The battle royale. He must crush you, in order to get back what he has lost and I'll make sure he can do his best."
I grab him by the lab-coat. I'm about to redefine the word crush for him. What does he think he's doing. Ryoga is about as stable as nitro-glycerin, and he's talking like he can make a friggin' Chinese new-year out of it.
"TWITCH-TOUCH!" He screams, and his fingers start tapping all around my head and chest, suddenly I feel really...good. My grip loosens, and my whole body does this kind of shiver, that makes me feel good all over. Noitaru steps back.
"The twitch-touch is a classical conditioning attack. By applying pressure to both endorphin secreting glands under the skull, and motor neurons under the skin, I can force upon you a temporary euphoria associated with muscular twitching."
I see.
What the fuck did he just say?
"It will feel good when you do this." His whole body limps up and he does this weird shiver. "Wuuuuugaaaaaaa." then he stands straight up again. "So you'll be doing that for the next hour."
No wait just a damn wuuuuugaaaaaa.
"I'm off to train with Ryoga. I'm going to learn that breaking-point if it kills me."
Or if it kills me for that matter. Noitaru runs off into the distance and I'm left standing here, alone. Wuuuugaaaaaa.
I headed home, twitching all the way. Just wait it gets better, to express my newly found inner-child of rage I meditate on kicking Strangelouvre's ass again. Everything's fine, until I realize that I'm kicking his ass against a gray background. It's at that moment when I realize, we never agreed on a place to fight. Ain't that a quarter-shitter with cheeze? I get home and run to the phone, picking up the phonebook, I'm halted wondering where to look.
Gyencologists?
Special doctors?
Immigration?
After about 10 minutes I find it. "Medical clinics-other."
Wuuuugaaaaaaa.
I dial the number. The secretary picks up.
"Strangelouvre medical clinic, Rei speaking."
Gimme Doctor Strangelouvre. Um, STAT.
"May I ask who is calling?"
I'm Ranma Saotome.
"Oh, I see..." One moment please.
I'm on hold.
Unforgettable....That's what you are....Unfor-
"Bonjour, Mon amis, Heve yeu call-ed to seureendar?"
Fat chance, big guy. He never told me where to be tommarau, neun.
"I deed too, yeu foergetfeul waif...In zee park, by zee pond."
What I am about to do I shouldn't have done. I told him not to hang up the phone, and to tell me what exactly Akane's condition is.
"Zat eez not yoar concearn."
Actually, it is my concern. I know Akane pretty well, and I think for damn sure that he should inform me. So why shouldn't he tell me.
"Well, because it eez not my concearn ezer. I am onlee fighting yeau to free zee Madame Kodachi from yoar clutcheza."
For the record, I don't give a shit about Ko-
"Sileance, yeau. Yoar voace eez giveeg me zee hedake. I weel tell yeau what you weesh to knau eef you defeat moi."
Deal. The park. The pond. Tommarow. Noon. My fist. His face.
"Yeau weesh!" and he hangs up.
I slam the phone down. KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS.
"So Ranma, you want to find out Akane's secret, aye?"
Nabiki? When did she get here?
"If the price is right, you can find out by tonight."
She'll tell me? Wuuuugaaaaa. Nabiki was taken by a stunned look.
"What the hell was that?"
I sigh, and pull out 1000 yen. Nothing, I say. She takes the money.
"I suppose that's enough for a hint."
I'll take it.
"If you're ever in Akanes room, start looking around."
Yeah, sure, if she finds me, she'll kill me.
"That's the price you pay, Ranma. Anyway, when you look around, you will have to look for something you WON'T find."
Huh? I say. She steps closer, and starts to whisper.
"You're not looking for something that isn't supposed to be there. You are looking for something that is supposed to be there, but it's not."
Gimme my money back.
"Sorry, Ranma, that's the breaks. Good luck!" And she runs out the door.
Hey, just what I needed today. Now I've got a piping mad Akane with a concerning condition I still know nothing about. I'm lined up to fight a gynecologist, over freaking KODACHI of all things, Ryoga'a out to kick my ass more than ever. And NOW I'm down 1000 yen. Did I forget anything? Wuuuuugaaaaaa. Oh, fuck.
I wait 'till night-fall, After our sushi dinner. So, Akane is in the bathroom, and it was my only shot. Kami of kamikaze be with me, I'm going in. I rummage through the underwear drawers. Bras, panties, socks, all good. Next drawer, shirts, blouses, training gui, all check out. Last drawer, skirts, pants, shorts. Nothing is missing. Only weird thing is in a junk basket on the dresser; an empty contact lens holder, no initials on it, but I know Akane doesn't wear contacts; she's got perfect 20/25 vision.
Dammit, Nabiki.
OK, I'll be brief; I found nothing missing wrong or out of place that could possibly relate to Strangelouvre. Either I'm missing something or Akanes got a messed up way of wearing contact lenses. I'm about to go through the last desk drawer, when I hear a voice behind me.
"What are you doing, Ranma?"
Kasumi.
I spin around. She's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Nothing! Just looking for a pencil I lost.
"Oh, dear, are you sure you lost it in here?"
No, no, so I'm checking everywhere, guess I'll quit for the night, though. Around Kasumi I can picture a wreath of flames, if only she was wearing...that.
Where's you're nightgown, Kasumi? I ask in timid curiosity.
"Oh, in the wash. Why do you ask Ranma?"
"RANMA? RANMA IS IN MY ROOM!?" It's Akane. She races down the hall, fresh from brushing her teeth, Glass of water in hand, she douses me, and throws me into the hall.
"YOU PERVERT! Don't ever come in here without permission."
"Oh, don't be hard on him." Kasumi pleads.
"I'll go easy on him WHEN HE STOPS BEING PERVERTED!"
After chasing me down the hall with a Shanai, I finally retreated to my room for the night. Little did I know the dick-eating komodo dragons were waiting for me. Thus, here I am, Final effect. I've collapsed on my belly away from my bed.
Don't move me. Don't touch me. I'll sleep here if I can just sleep.
This whole day has been a bad dream.
More book madness:
I could change my hair.
Would you love me?
I could change my way of thinking.
Would you love me?
I could change my face.
Would you love me?
I could change my occupation to stealing drugs from the elderly.
Would you love me?
I could change my sex.
Would you love me?
I could change you.
Would you love me?
Give me love.
Flash!
Chuck Palahniuk's INVISIBLE MONSTERS
I read it. I enjoyed it. Sorry mom, sorry God.
---------
OK, here's the new spell checked, and slightly updated version. Now it's back to studying for finals. Merry Christmas, Ranma and Palahniuk-heads. Also a little upset, so I'm doing an MST invite. Of all my works, my "Dr. strange" series(-Louvre and -Waff) have been the weirdest, and supposedly most MSTable. Though I only once ever tried to make a BAD fanfic, I've defiantly made a few that were simply too unorthodox for public good, and I do that for good reason. This particular one I'm going out of my way be incredibly unorthodox. I want this fic to be so unorthodox that it's anti-orthodox, but I don't want it to be bad. So I'll admit that I was hoping to squeeze an MST off of this fic. Any of you wise guys got the guts to take me on? One great set up for
A 14 rivers production
Cause 4:
-
I'm dreaming. Just to warn you, this won't be pretty. I'm naked, and I'm running away from a giant Komodo dragon lizard that wants to chomp off my dick.
Cause and effect.
Cause: probably the squid sushi.
Anyway, you know what these dreams are like. You can't get away from the Komodo dragon or the boogey man or the French gynecologist, whoever is after you is waiting for you around every corner. Sure, it's just a dream, but it's my nuts on the line here. Anyway, somehow I find an alleyway that doesn't have a lizard shadow in it. So I run in and, of course it's a dead end. Here it comes, no way out now, he's coming. I can hear that rasp-rasp-rasp of his claws cutting across the ground towards me like I'm the discovery channel blue-plate special. Then nothing. Just as the rasp becomes it's loudest; silence. Just for a moment.
Then the lizards' teeth come jutting out around of my groin and the razor-sharp fangs surround my kit.
Oh.
No.
Please.
No.
God.
No.
Shit.
No.
The teeth stick out and gobble up my whole kit in one chomp, and then the teeth pull back inside me, leaving only toothless lips behind.
That's when I wake up. I reach down to check my unit.
My dream came true.
I grab pop, and start shaking him.
Dad wake up. I say. The lizard ate my dick. Wake up. Help me. It ate my frikking dick.
He wakes up and places his hand gently but firmly on my shoulders. His steadfast eyes look at me through the twilight gleam in his specticals. He speaks softly and consolingly to me "Ranma..." Then he throws me across the room. I slam bug-on-windshield style into the wall.
"Shut up boy, you just turned into a girl. You asshole."
It's at that moment when I realize I'm Ranma. I got the whole cursed spring thing going for me. I'm a girl. I'm not supposed to be a girl, but I am. Envious? Don't be. Resting here upside-down on my head and shoulders, looking sideways at the floor, my whole life up to this moment comes out of the dream-world and into focus. The fianc's, the curse, the rivals, the fights, sushi. finally I remember today.
Today.
Dammit.
After Ryoga clonked me into the netherworld, I came to, and hovering above me is yet another guy in a lab coat. I'm on my feet in a flash with my fists up. I ask if Strangelouvre sent him.
"Who's Strangelouvre?"
The nancy-ass, psycho-bitch loving, French gynecologist Strangelouvre.
"Uhhhhh, no."
Alright then, I say. So what does he want?
"Walk with me, talk with me."
So we head to a nearby bench and talk. Apparently, Ryoga couldn't sacrifice a goat this year. He wasn't about to be Bahr Mitzvahed, and he sure as hell wasn't gonna get circumcised. All the same; Ryoga was looking for a right of passage. That's where I fit in. All this according to his new psychologist, Dr. Gomez Noitaru. This guy's almost the polar opposite of Strangelouvre. He's got these slim, glancy brown eyes, and dark hair tied up bushy in a red bandana, just about my height. Anyway, he explains the last few days events to me. How he met Ryoga.
The story is that he was traveling through the woods, just taking a hike, when he heard some crashing noises in the distance. He walked up and saw Ryoga breaking boulders with his fingertips. He goes up to Ryoga and asks;
How do you do that?
Ryoga replies;
None of your business.
Dr. Noitaru says;
Come on, show me.
Ryoga says;
No.
Anyway, this goes on for a while. Bottom line is, they start fighting. Kick, punch, block, punch, punch, chop, kick, elbow.
Suddenly, Noitaru asks "How do you feel?"
Knee, Heel, toe, lock, escape, grapple, plant, throw, roll, stand, kick, block.
"I feel angry" Ryoga says.
Head-butt. Backhand.
"Talk about that."
Kick. Leg-trap. block-trip. Hand-plant. Summersault. Flying kick.
"I want to find my way to Akane, I want to defeat Ranma. But I can't find my way."
"How did that make you feel?"
In-air inverted quadruple scissor kick. Bullet dodging lean. Meteo.
This goes on for like 30 minutes. All the while; Ryoga is going on and on about how much his life sucks, and Noitaru is just taking notes in his head. At the end of the thirty minutes, the two fighters, exhausted, and gasping faced one another, and Noitaru takes out a post-it pad and a pen and he screams at Ryoga.
"B.F. Skinner School of martial-arts psychology FINAL ATTACK! DIAGNOSIS STRIKE!"
He charges Ryoga.
Ryoga picks up four rocks, and throws them up in the air.
"Ryoga Hibiki special attack! Breaking-point-blank!"
I don't even think I believe what I'm hearing. Ryoga, using only his pointer fingers, pushed the rocks into Noitaru's chest, and blasted each of them with the buksei-tetkets right against him. The exploding rocks send Noitaru flying up into the crotch of a tree, and he hung there like a stranded kite. Ryoga turns up his head in a cocky manner and turns around.
He says. "Well, I guess I showed you. I school no one. I'm a marital artist for the sole purpose of defeating Ranma, so don't come asking me for any more advice, you hear?" Ryoga starts to walk away when Noitaru looks up and yells at him "Wait!" He says "Before you go, check the front of your bandana." Ryoga puts his hand up, and there's a little post it stuck there. He takes it off, and looks at it. His muscles clench. His blood boils. His eyebrows twitch. Veins start sprouting up all over him in anger.
"What the Hell is this supposed to mean?"
Fear.
That was what was written on the post it. Noitaru's diagnosis: My continual victory and scorn over him has adjusted Ryoga's behavior. According to Dr. Noitaru, this is known as classical conditioning. Cause and effect. Having been attacked and beaten every time we meet, Ryoga now has an in-built mechanism to become lost, and avoid me at all costs. According to Noitaru, he's not lost, he knows exactly where he's supposed to go, and he will attempt to avoid going there as long as he can, in order to avoid me. His misdirection is only skin deep. Deep down inside, it's his fear keeping him from going anywhere.
After Noitaru told me this I sat still for a few moments and I scratched my chin. I then turned to him.
Horse...Shit.
Ryoga needs a YOU ARE HERE sign in order to use a phone-booth and Ryoga's ALWAYS been like that. And now Noitaru gonna come along, and tell ME that it's MY fault?
"Believe what you want, I'm only telling you because you are the stumbling block. According to my diagnosis, Ryoga will continue on this course until he rids you from his life."
Getting Ryoga out of my life? Where do I sign?
"I'm afraid it's not that simple." He says "He is going to have to defeat you, and he might do even worse, but don't worry. I'm going to do all that I can."
Well, all right then. It's good to see the doctor is making some sense.
"I'll make sure it'll be a spectacular fight."
Excuse me?
"The battle royale. He must crush you, in order to get back what he has lost and I'll make sure he can do his best."
I grab him by the lab-coat. I'm about to redefine the word crush for him. What does he think he's doing. Ryoga is about as stable as nitro-glycerin, and he's talking like he can make a friggin' Chinese new-year out of it.
"TWITCH-TOUCH!" He screams, and his fingers start tapping all around my head and chest, suddenly I feel really...good. My grip loosens, and my whole body does this kind of shiver, that makes me feel good all over. Noitaru steps back.
"The twitch-touch is a classical conditioning attack. By applying pressure to both endorphin secreting glands under the skull, and motor neurons under the skin, I can force upon you a temporary euphoria associated with muscular twitching."
I see.
What the fuck did he just say?
"It will feel good when you do this." His whole body limps up and he does this weird shiver. "Wuuuuugaaaaaaa." then he stands straight up again. "So you'll be doing that for the next hour."
No wait just a damn wuuuuugaaaaaa.
"I'm off to train with Ryoga. I'm going to learn that breaking-point if it kills me."
Or if it kills me for that matter. Noitaru runs off into the distance and I'm left standing here, alone. Wuuuugaaaaaa.
I headed home, twitching all the way. Just wait it gets better, to express my newly found inner-child of rage I meditate on kicking Strangelouvre's ass again. Everything's fine, until I realize that I'm kicking his ass against a gray background. It's at that moment when I realize, we never agreed on a place to fight. Ain't that a quarter-shitter with cheeze? I get home and run to the phone, picking up the phonebook, I'm halted wondering where to look.
Gyencologists?
Special doctors?
Immigration?
After about 10 minutes I find it. "Medical clinics-other."
Wuuuugaaaaaaa.
I dial the number. The secretary picks up.
"Strangelouvre medical clinic, Rei speaking."
Gimme Doctor Strangelouvre. Um, STAT.
"May I ask who is calling?"
I'm Ranma Saotome.
"Oh, I see..." One moment please.
I'm on hold.
Unforgettable....That's what you are....Unfor-
"Bonjour, Mon amis, Heve yeu call-ed to seureendar?"
Fat chance, big guy. He never told me where to be tommarau, neun.
"I deed too, yeu foergetfeul waif...In zee park, by zee pond."
What I am about to do I shouldn't have done. I told him not to hang up the phone, and to tell me what exactly Akane's condition is.
"Zat eez not yoar concearn."
Actually, it is my concern. I know Akane pretty well, and I think for damn sure that he should inform me. So why shouldn't he tell me.
"Well, because it eez not my concearn ezer. I am onlee fighting yeau to free zee Madame Kodachi from yoar clutcheza."
For the record, I don't give a shit about Ko-
"Sileance, yeau. Yoar voace eez giveeg me zee hedake. I weel tell yeau what you weesh to knau eef you defeat moi."
Deal. The park. The pond. Tommarow. Noon. My fist. His face.
"Yeau weesh!" and he hangs up.
I slam the phone down. KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS.
"So Ranma, you want to find out Akane's secret, aye?"
Nabiki? When did she get here?
"If the price is right, you can find out by tonight."
She'll tell me? Wuuuugaaaaa. Nabiki was taken by a stunned look.
"What the hell was that?"
I sigh, and pull out 1000 yen. Nothing, I say. She takes the money.
"I suppose that's enough for a hint."
I'll take it.
"If you're ever in Akanes room, start looking around."
Yeah, sure, if she finds me, she'll kill me.
"That's the price you pay, Ranma. Anyway, when you look around, you will have to look for something you WON'T find."
Huh? I say. She steps closer, and starts to whisper.
"You're not looking for something that isn't supposed to be there. You are looking for something that is supposed to be there, but it's not."
Gimme my money back.
"Sorry, Ranma, that's the breaks. Good luck!" And she runs out the door.
Hey, just what I needed today. Now I've got a piping mad Akane with a concerning condition I still know nothing about. I'm lined up to fight a gynecologist, over freaking KODACHI of all things, Ryoga'a out to kick my ass more than ever. And NOW I'm down 1000 yen. Did I forget anything? Wuuuuugaaaaaa. Oh, fuck.
I wait 'till night-fall, After our sushi dinner. So, Akane is in the bathroom, and it was my only shot. Kami of kamikaze be with me, I'm going in. I rummage through the underwear drawers. Bras, panties, socks, all good. Next drawer, shirts, blouses, training gui, all check out. Last drawer, skirts, pants, shorts. Nothing is missing. Only weird thing is in a junk basket on the dresser; an empty contact lens holder, no initials on it, but I know Akane doesn't wear contacts; she's got perfect 20/25 vision.
Dammit, Nabiki.
OK, I'll be brief; I found nothing missing wrong or out of place that could possibly relate to Strangelouvre. Either I'm missing something or Akanes got a messed up way of wearing contact lenses. I'm about to go through the last desk drawer, when I hear a voice behind me.
"What are you doing, Ranma?"
Kasumi.
I spin around. She's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Nothing! Just looking for a pencil I lost.
"Oh, dear, are you sure you lost it in here?"
No, no, so I'm checking everywhere, guess I'll quit for the night, though. Around Kasumi I can picture a wreath of flames, if only she was wearing...that.
Where's you're nightgown, Kasumi? I ask in timid curiosity.
"Oh, in the wash. Why do you ask Ranma?"
"RANMA? RANMA IS IN MY ROOM!?" It's Akane. She races down the hall, fresh from brushing her teeth, Glass of water in hand, she douses me, and throws me into the hall.
"YOU PERVERT! Don't ever come in here without permission."
"Oh, don't be hard on him." Kasumi pleads.
"I'll go easy on him WHEN HE STOPS BEING PERVERTED!"
After chasing me down the hall with a Shanai, I finally retreated to my room for the night. Little did I know the dick-eating komodo dragons were waiting for me. Thus, here I am, Final effect. I've collapsed on my belly away from my bed.
Don't move me. Don't touch me. I'll sleep here if I can just sleep.
This whole day has been a bad dream.
More book madness:
I could change my hair.
Would you love me?
I could change my way of thinking.
Would you love me?
I could change my face.
Would you love me?
I could change my occupation to stealing drugs from the elderly.
Would you love me?
I could change my sex.
Would you love me?
I could change you.
Would you love me?
Give me love.
Flash!
Chuck Palahniuk's INVISIBLE MONSTERS
I read it. I enjoyed it. Sorry mom, sorry God.
---------
OK, here's the new spell checked, and slightly updated version. Now it's back to studying for finals. Merry Christmas, Ranma and Palahniuk-heads. Also a little upset, so I'm doing an MST invite. Of all my works, my "Dr. strange" series(-Louvre and -Waff) have been the weirdest, and supposedly most MSTable. Though I only once ever tried to make a BAD fanfic, I've defiantly made a few that were simply too unorthodox for public good, and I do that for good reason. This particular one I'm going out of my way be incredibly unorthodox. I want this fic to be so unorthodox that it's anti-orthodox, but I don't want it to be bad. So I'll admit that I was hoping to squeeze an MST off of this fic. Any of you wise guys got the guts to take me on? One great set up for
A 14 rivers production