Dr. Strangelouvre
Cause: 9 --------
If you're nodding off, hit yourself.
This is important.
She said, "Know me and know that you know me."
Everything about Akane makes sense after you aknowledge the fact that she has huevos. She is Akane, hear her roar. She hates guys, why? Because only a part of her is a guy, not that she is supposed to be that way, and not that she isn't either. She hates being girly why? Because the rest of her is a girl that has to deal with it. Not that she is supposed to be that way, and not that it isn't either. She hates me, why? Because, and face the facts, we're too much alike. A guy with a girl half, and a girl with a guy half, my yin for yang, her day for night. Its something like a puzzle that if you look at it and press it a little the two pieces might fit together, but they can't.
If you try to force two puzzle pieces together, you'll ruin them and whatever picture they were trying to make.
That's a metaphor for something completely different.
I won't generalize with metaphors because it's too simple. I don't want Akane.
Akane doesn't want me.
We hate eachother and that's the way it has always been. It's nothing personal, it's nothing grudgeworthy, it's our nature. Physical makeup. Biological level. The situation has nothing to ask for, and nothing to be done about it. Cause and Effect. We are who we are. Incompatable. So why? For the love of God, why? Why does she think we need to talk?
It was friday. I wake up, and it's friday. One weekend from now, I'll be fighting Strangelouvre. I wake up and it's time to train.
If I never see another Baguette for ten years, it'll be too soon.
I wake up and I'm training. This is what I do, this is my way of life. I practice kempo, and I'll be dammed if Strangelouvre takes it all away from me. The bread is thrust foward, and the force of my Chi bashes it against the training post. The sun beams in from the east, through the trees and I couldn't feel better. The training post, which is just a thick dowel wrapped in rope bends over like a noodle with the force of my blows. Around me, things are coming to life. I can smell Miso soup coming from the kitchen, the goldfish start to stir the water looking for some morning food, and a big fat-ass panda bear walks out and plops down on the porch, to get a look at the sunrise.
I break fast, to get breakfast. That morning was a little more quiet than usual. Through my water glass, and over the rim of my miso cup, I could see Akane. Glancing. Glimpsing. Checking. The whole fucking meal, she couldn't take her eyes off me. I go back to training, and she's in the window. Eyeing. Staring. Seeing. Today, she just seems to want to look me up and down as I ignore the hell out of her.
Feel the bread.
Be the bread.
Thrust your will forth to defeat your foes.
Yeast and Salt and Light strike!
From breakfast to lunch, She moved all over the house, and in the yard. Peeking. Peering. Observing. Meanwhile I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere with this. The thing about Gynecologists is that they think they can have everything they want. After you've trained any women to do whatever you tell them to do, just because a school gave you a piece of paper, they must get this superiority complex. Think lion tamer. Think talk show host. Think dickhead.
Really, how do you think the lion feels? One minute he's clawing and ripping the spleen out of a 700 pound zebra, the next, he's standing on a podium in a top hat, playng a kazoo. Me going against Strangelouve again, I'm totally like the once tamed lion who says 'Up yours, ringmaster, I've had enough. Rowr!' This is really why I don't want to talk to Akane. She's going to try to talk me out of it. She did the same thing last time.
She never even wanted me to go to the Doctor's office.
Well you know what, I never even wanted to go. None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to find out about Akane after out parents had forced us to tie the knot. it was supposed to happen when there was nothing I could do about it. Love conqures all.
What happened recently didn't happen for better or worse. How could we ever be together? Even if we had no curses over our head? Now wejust have a new reason to get mad at eachother. What happened recently changed nothing.
Noticing. Spying. Peeping.
Why the hell should we talk at all? I get some lunch, and she pokes me. I'm sopping up my Kitsune Udon, and she yanks my shirt. I set my empty bowl down, drink my juice. Stand up, and then right after I said it was a good meal, she looks up. Focusing. Eyeballing. Ogling. And she says; "Hey."
My eyes dart to the lower corner of their sockets, my head swivels to her direction, and quite loudly I aske her; what?
"You don't have to shout. I was just hoping we could talk later."
I look around the table, no one is looking at us. I know they can't really block this out, but they're trying all the same. Akane and I, the invisible man/boy/girl/whatever. They can try all they want. This isn't going away. I look back down at Akane, putting on her best puppy dog eyes and I say sure.
Sure, I say. Fine. I say OK. Great. Yeah. My pleasure.
As I beat the bread into the dummy inside the dojo I say. I'd love to. I swing the bread into the board. Wonderful. I grab the bread at both ends, and strike the wall with the flat of the bread. I'd love to. There was an odd aroma in the air, that I couldn't put my finger on, but never the less wasn't too pleased with, so I hi-tailed inside the Dojo, and I'd been practicing since lunch. All I can think about is her, and that damn innocence she still thinks she can tote around like a handgun. Good for emergencies.
You don't have to shout.
Yes I do. I do, and I've fucking earned it. I don't know how much more of this I'm supposed to take. I do know that I had my fill of this a week ago and if I feel like shouting, tough deal. I am Ranma hear me roar. Rowr!
It's almost dinner. I've skipped my little therapy session or whatever you want to call it with Ryoga and Noitaru in order to hone my skills for my demonstration tonite. Has he learned, Kodachi? Oh, yeah, and then some. First I'll demonstrate skills worthy to defeat Strangelouvre. Then I'll tell her, that she has to know that I am not doing it for her. She can get that out of her head. I'm doing this for me. I'm no hero, I'm Friedrich Nietzsche meets Dirty Harry. An anti-hero in this for his own gains.
Don't bother cheering me on, I'm not doing this for you.
It was almost dinner, so I step inside, and wash the sweat off of me. For a while, I wash all my troubles away. I come down to eat, and everyone's already started. I'm invisible again, but at least there's a full meal ready for me. It looks like there's someone already there. Everyones all settled in, and relaxed. The TV is on, no-one looks back. It's like there's a ghost down there in my spot, getting my dinner. Akane is the only one not watching TV, she's glaze-eyed intent at nothing on her full plate, then as if on cue she looks up at me.
Scrutinizing. Surveying. Spotting.
"Hi Ranma. I waited for you."
Oh my God.
What happened to me?
Two weeks ago I was just fine; at peace with earth. Now I'm invisible to everyone but Akane, who can't stop looking, looking, looking. This all started today. What's going on?
"Nothing." she said. "dinner is served if you want it."
I sit down, and I take in my nourishments. As is now known by all, she wanted to talk with me. I'm done with training, so now would be the best time.
"Not now." she said. "Later."
Look, I have an appointment to make, so please don't waste my time. She should just spit it out.
Her eyes stared back at me, unblinking.
"Trust me." she gestured to my food "Eat."
So I ate. She ate. No words, just eating. Invisible and alone, together. Envious? Don't be.
Long story short, we get done, and the sun is setting. Akane turns to me.
"You ready?"
Sure, why not? I say. She takes me by the hand, and now we're walking to the stairs, but just before I get out of the room I look back to see a shot of a commercial on TV.
Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking.
Everyone was looking back at me. Kasumi, Nabiki, Pop, Mr. Tendou, Happousai. Poof! I'm back in reality. I'm visible, more than that, I'm unignorable. I'm the center of attention. Suddenly I'm like a car-crash in a shopping plaza that you can take your eyes off of. The worst part is I don't know why, and I still don't as she drags me around the corner. Out of everyone's view. There is a reason for all of this, and it is presently dragging and pulling me upstairs.
We're at her door, with the little yellow "Akane" duck on it. What's going on here?
"We need to talk." The door is opened. I turn to go back downstairs, out the door, and the hell away from here. She pulls my arm.
"Don't walk away from me."
I spin on my heels, and for a moment, I bring my open palm around to slap Akane right across the face. I stop suddenly, and abruptly I slap the rim of the door instead.
What if I don't feel like talking? Now she's crying. Great. Her teary eyes look back at me and she reaches her hand over to first touch my face, then to tug my ponytail, slightly.
"Then please..." she said "Just....Listen."
I don't want to hear anything. I want to go. That's exactly what I am going to do. So Akane, let go of my arm. She looked down, and as soon as she let go, brought her hand up to dry her tears. When I turned to leave, that's when I hear it.
Know me, and know that you know me.
Did I want to? After all this is that what I could possibly want? I didn't know. One thing was for sure. Cause and Effect. It's the way the world works. It makes me curious. She had talked me into it. Afteral, with all that had gone under the bridge, knowing a little more might help.
I was then inside. The door is shut. The lights are off. The sun is setting. All around the room are the ghostly shades of twilight, the reds and blues, magenta that coallece and make the murky colors of twilight. I'm in her room, and I'm on her bed, looking at her on the floor, red shines in from the window and onto her hair, and her face is a pale blue.
"Ranma" She said "Just what am I to you?"
What do you mean? I ask, You waiting for me to say I fucking love you or something?
"Not like that. That's not it at all."
So what then? She took in a deep breath.
"Fuck us. This has nothing to do with us. This is about me, OK? I need to know if I am a woman."
Cause and effect. She just blew my mind out the door. What is that supposed to mean?
"I know that you can become a girl. It's who you are. But you're no girl. To me, the Ranma that I know he is a he. He is right before me, and how the outside changes doesn't effect what's inside at all. No matter what form you take; to me you'll always be the same bull-headed, perverted idiot."
I roll my eyes. Yeah, thanks.
"That means, something don't you see? I know you, and I know I know you." I look back at her "Like it or not Ranma, you know me too. At this point it's safe to say you know everything about me. What am I?"
There is no way out. I'm doomed. She's Akane and that's all that can be said.
"That's not enough." She breathed in deep. "I've needed surgory, I've had to read every last letter of diagnosis, I have to meet with Dr. Strangelouvre, I can never have children, I'll never be cured, what am I? I'm a woman de-throned. What I need to know now, the only thing I want to know is this."
And she stopped. I think I can smell smoke. This whole house will burn down.
"A man has to tell me. He doesn't have to be in love with me or whatever shit you think I'm looking for. I need to know only that it's possible. A man can love me if I'm a woman. You're the first man outside of our circle to know, Ranma, so you have to tell me. You have to tell me Ranma. Am I a woman?"
I stand up. What you are is a headcase, Akane, I'm out of here. As soon as I got up to go out the door she jumped up and slammed me against it. The next thing I know, I'm turned around, and she's looking me square in the eyes, and she's shivvering.
"Answer me, or I'll never forgive you."
I was going to say: Are you sure you'd like my answer. Are you su-
And she kissed me. I still don't know why, but I went with it. All I can remember now is the sound of both our breaths heaving in and out of our nostrils, smelling the thick scent of spontinaity.
I'm on the bed, and she's above me. She throws her vest off her shoulders, and throws it aside. gestring to the buttons on her blouse she says,
"Can you get these for me?"
With a smirk I say that I've already seen them.
"Seen" she said, and took my right hand "but never touched" Bam. She put me on second base. I started work, and lickety split, she was in her bra in the fading light. Mind you I know what breasts feel like, I of all people should, but at this particualr instance it felt like discovering fireworks for the first time. Cause and Effect. Sure. But I still don't know what came over me.
She bent over and we started making out all over again. Pretty soon, there she was naked, and right by my side, with her curved being traced by my fingers. She's still shivvering.
"Maybe I'm cold." she sighed, and brought herself closer to me. "Hold me for a
Cause: 9 --------
If you're nodding off, hit yourself.
This is important.
She said, "Know me and know that you know me."
Everything about Akane makes sense after you aknowledge the fact that she has huevos. She is Akane, hear her roar. She hates guys, why? Because only a part of her is a guy, not that she is supposed to be that way, and not that she isn't either. She hates being girly why? Because the rest of her is a girl that has to deal with it. Not that she is supposed to be that way, and not that it isn't either. She hates me, why? Because, and face the facts, we're too much alike. A guy with a girl half, and a girl with a guy half, my yin for yang, her day for night. Its something like a puzzle that if you look at it and press it a little the two pieces might fit together, but they can't.
If you try to force two puzzle pieces together, you'll ruin them and whatever picture they were trying to make.
That's a metaphor for something completely different.
I won't generalize with metaphors because it's too simple. I don't want Akane.
Akane doesn't want me.
We hate eachother and that's the way it has always been. It's nothing personal, it's nothing grudgeworthy, it's our nature. Physical makeup. Biological level. The situation has nothing to ask for, and nothing to be done about it. Cause and Effect. We are who we are. Incompatable. So why? For the love of God, why? Why does she think we need to talk?
It was friday. I wake up, and it's friday. One weekend from now, I'll be fighting Strangelouvre. I wake up and it's time to train.
If I never see another Baguette for ten years, it'll be too soon.
I wake up and I'm training. This is what I do, this is my way of life. I practice kempo, and I'll be dammed if Strangelouvre takes it all away from me. The bread is thrust foward, and the force of my Chi bashes it against the training post. The sun beams in from the east, through the trees and I couldn't feel better. The training post, which is just a thick dowel wrapped in rope bends over like a noodle with the force of my blows. Around me, things are coming to life. I can smell Miso soup coming from the kitchen, the goldfish start to stir the water looking for some morning food, and a big fat-ass panda bear walks out and plops down on the porch, to get a look at the sunrise.
I break fast, to get breakfast. That morning was a little more quiet than usual. Through my water glass, and over the rim of my miso cup, I could see Akane. Glancing. Glimpsing. Checking. The whole fucking meal, she couldn't take her eyes off me. I go back to training, and she's in the window. Eyeing. Staring. Seeing. Today, she just seems to want to look me up and down as I ignore the hell out of her.
Feel the bread.
Be the bread.
Thrust your will forth to defeat your foes.
Yeast and Salt and Light strike!
From breakfast to lunch, She moved all over the house, and in the yard. Peeking. Peering. Observing. Meanwhile I actually feel like I'm getting somewhere with this. The thing about Gynecologists is that they think they can have everything they want. After you've trained any women to do whatever you tell them to do, just because a school gave you a piece of paper, they must get this superiority complex. Think lion tamer. Think talk show host. Think dickhead.
Really, how do you think the lion feels? One minute he's clawing and ripping the spleen out of a 700 pound zebra, the next, he's standing on a podium in a top hat, playng a kazoo. Me going against Strangelouve again, I'm totally like the once tamed lion who says 'Up yours, ringmaster, I've had enough. Rowr!' This is really why I don't want to talk to Akane. She's going to try to talk me out of it. She did the same thing last time.
She never even wanted me to go to the Doctor's office.
Well you know what, I never even wanted to go. None of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to find out about Akane after out parents had forced us to tie the knot. it was supposed to happen when there was nothing I could do about it. Love conqures all.
What happened recently didn't happen for better or worse. How could we ever be together? Even if we had no curses over our head? Now wejust have a new reason to get mad at eachother. What happened recently changed nothing.
Noticing. Spying. Peeping.
Why the hell should we talk at all? I get some lunch, and she pokes me. I'm sopping up my Kitsune Udon, and she yanks my shirt. I set my empty bowl down, drink my juice. Stand up, and then right after I said it was a good meal, she looks up. Focusing. Eyeballing. Ogling. And she says; "Hey."
My eyes dart to the lower corner of their sockets, my head swivels to her direction, and quite loudly I aske her; what?
"You don't have to shout. I was just hoping we could talk later."
I look around the table, no one is looking at us. I know they can't really block this out, but they're trying all the same. Akane and I, the invisible man/boy/girl/whatever. They can try all they want. This isn't going away. I look back down at Akane, putting on her best puppy dog eyes and I say sure.
Sure, I say. Fine. I say OK. Great. Yeah. My pleasure.
As I beat the bread into the dummy inside the dojo I say. I'd love to. I swing the bread into the board. Wonderful. I grab the bread at both ends, and strike the wall with the flat of the bread. I'd love to. There was an odd aroma in the air, that I couldn't put my finger on, but never the less wasn't too pleased with, so I hi-tailed inside the Dojo, and I'd been practicing since lunch. All I can think about is her, and that damn innocence she still thinks she can tote around like a handgun. Good for emergencies.
You don't have to shout.
Yes I do. I do, and I've fucking earned it. I don't know how much more of this I'm supposed to take. I do know that I had my fill of this a week ago and if I feel like shouting, tough deal. I am Ranma hear me roar. Rowr!
It's almost dinner. I've skipped my little therapy session or whatever you want to call it with Ryoga and Noitaru in order to hone my skills for my demonstration tonite. Has he learned, Kodachi? Oh, yeah, and then some. First I'll demonstrate skills worthy to defeat Strangelouvre. Then I'll tell her, that she has to know that I am not doing it for her. She can get that out of her head. I'm doing this for me. I'm no hero, I'm Friedrich Nietzsche meets Dirty Harry. An anti-hero in this for his own gains.
Don't bother cheering me on, I'm not doing this for you.
It was almost dinner, so I step inside, and wash the sweat off of me. For a while, I wash all my troubles away. I come down to eat, and everyone's already started. I'm invisible again, but at least there's a full meal ready for me. It looks like there's someone already there. Everyones all settled in, and relaxed. The TV is on, no-one looks back. It's like there's a ghost down there in my spot, getting my dinner. Akane is the only one not watching TV, she's glaze-eyed intent at nothing on her full plate, then as if on cue she looks up at me.
Scrutinizing. Surveying. Spotting.
"Hi Ranma. I waited for you."
Oh my God.
What happened to me?
Two weeks ago I was just fine; at peace with earth. Now I'm invisible to everyone but Akane, who can't stop looking, looking, looking. This all started today. What's going on?
"Nothing." she said. "dinner is served if you want it."
I sit down, and I take in my nourishments. As is now known by all, she wanted to talk with me. I'm done with training, so now would be the best time.
"Not now." she said. "Later."
Look, I have an appointment to make, so please don't waste my time. She should just spit it out.
Her eyes stared back at me, unblinking.
"Trust me." she gestured to my food "Eat."
So I ate. She ate. No words, just eating. Invisible and alone, together. Envious? Don't be.
Long story short, we get done, and the sun is setting. Akane turns to me.
"You ready?"
Sure, why not? I say. She takes me by the hand, and now we're walking to the stairs, but just before I get out of the room I look back to see a shot of a commercial on TV.
Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking. Looking.
Everyone was looking back at me. Kasumi, Nabiki, Pop, Mr. Tendou, Happousai. Poof! I'm back in reality. I'm visible, more than that, I'm unignorable. I'm the center of attention. Suddenly I'm like a car-crash in a shopping plaza that you can take your eyes off of. The worst part is I don't know why, and I still don't as she drags me around the corner. Out of everyone's view. There is a reason for all of this, and it is presently dragging and pulling me upstairs.
We're at her door, with the little yellow "Akane" duck on it. What's going on here?
"We need to talk." The door is opened. I turn to go back downstairs, out the door, and the hell away from here. She pulls my arm.
"Don't walk away from me."
I spin on my heels, and for a moment, I bring my open palm around to slap Akane right across the face. I stop suddenly, and abruptly I slap the rim of the door instead.
What if I don't feel like talking? Now she's crying. Great. Her teary eyes look back at me and she reaches her hand over to first touch my face, then to tug my ponytail, slightly.
"Then please..." she said "Just....Listen."
I don't want to hear anything. I want to go. That's exactly what I am going to do. So Akane, let go of my arm. She looked down, and as soon as she let go, brought her hand up to dry her tears. When I turned to leave, that's when I hear it.
Know me, and know that you know me.
Did I want to? After all this is that what I could possibly want? I didn't know. One thing was for sure. Cause and Effect. It's the way the world works. It makes me curious. She had talked me into it. Afteral, with all that had gone under the bridge, knowing a little more might help.
I was then inside. The door is shut. The lights are off. The sun is setting. All around the room are the ghostly shades of twilight, the reds and blues, magenta that coallece and make the murky colors of twilight. I'm in her room, and I'm on her bed, looking at her on the floor, red shines in from the window and onto her hair, and her face is a pale blue.
"Ranma" She said "Just what am I to you?"
What do you mean? I ask, You waiting for me to say I fucking love you or something?
"Not like that. That's not it at all."
So what then? She took in a deep breath.
"Fuck us. This has nothing to do with us. This is about me, OK? I need to know if I am a woman."
Cause and effect. She just blew my mind out the door. What is that supposed to mean?
"I know that you can become a girl. It's who you are. But you're no girl. To me, the Ranma that I know he is a he. He is right before me, and how the outside changes doesn't effect what's inside at all. No matter what form you take; to me you'll always be the same bull-headed, perverted idiot."
I roll my eyes. Yeah, thanks.
"That means, something don't you see? I know you, and I know I know you." I look back at her "Like it or not Ranma, you know me too. At this point it's safe to say you know everything about me. What am I?"
There is no way out. I'm doomed. She's Akane and that's all that can be said.
"That's not enough." She breathed in deep. "I've needed surgory, I've had to read every last letter of diagnosis, I have to meet with Dr. Strangelouvre, I can never have children, I'll never be cured, what am I? I'm a woman de-throned. What I need to know now, the only thing I want to know is this."
And she stopped. I think I can smell smoke. This whole house will burn down.
"A man has to tell me. He doesn't have to be in love with me or whatever shit you think I'm looking for. I need to know only that it's possible. A man can love me if I'm a woman. You're the first man outside of our circle to know, Ranma, so you have to tell me. You have to tell me Ranma. Am I a woman?"
I stand up. What you are is a headcase, Akane, I'm out of here. As soon as I got up to go out the door she jumped up and slammed me against it. The next thing I know, I'm turned around, and she's looking me square in the eyes, and she's shivvering.
"Answer me, or I'll never forgive you."
I was going to say: Are you sure you'd like my answer. Are you su-
And she kissed me. I still don't know why, but I went with it. All I can remember now is the sound of both our breaths heaving in and out of our nostrils, smelling the thick scent of spontinaity.
I'm on the bed, and she's above me. She throws her vest off her shoulders, and throws it aside. gestring to the buttons on her blouse she says,
"Can you get these for me?"
With a smirk I say that I've already seen them.
"Seen" she said, and took my right hand "but never touched" Bam. She put me on second base. I started work, and lickety split, she was in her bra in the fading light. Mind you I know what breasts feel like, I of all people should, but at this particualr instance it felt like discovering fireworks for the first time. Cause and Effect. Sure. But I still don't know what came over me.
She bent over and we started making out all over again. Pretty soon, there she was naked, and right by my side, with her curved being traced by my fingers. She's still shivvering.
"Maybe I'm cold." she sighed, and brought herself closer to me. "Hold me for a