Disclaimer: I don't own CCS...
This fic will actually be split into three parts because it just seems easier at the moment... It's getting just a lil difficult to find time for ANYTHING... O.o Hope u like part two! :) RxR, PLZ! That way, I'll be more inspired to finish the ending! This chapter has a little more insight on what on earth Eriol is doing, and what he thinks about all this... though it's probably not helpful much to the plot anyway... I also had to find a way to deal with the problem of Yukito-san... Tomoyo won't be in this chap, sorry.
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Part Two: I'll Love You
"Do you think, perhaps, that Sakura's dreams..."
"Are reminding her of something she's forgotten?" Yelan finished Fujitaka's question as they sat together in the lounge. "There may be meaning in her dreams that we, ourselves, can help her discover, but perhaps for now it is best we do not interfere."
Fujitaka nodded, and as if by some unseen force of both premonition and telepathy, something struck him mentally from behind. He jumped up from the sofa. "Tsukishiro-san!" he said, part way between a dead voice of realization and a shout of panic.
"Tsukishiro Yukito?" Yelan asked.
"Yes... Sakura... Sakura used to..." Fujitaka could not find the proper words for this particular instant. He was quite fond of Tsukishiro, but he knew it was Li-san's son that Sakura belonged to, rightfully by fate. "Until she met your son, Syaoran... Sakura used to think she was in love with Tsukishiro-san."
"Oh my," Yelan breathed. Fujitaka was right. Sakura once thought she loved Yukito, and now that Syaoran no longer existed in her memories, could it be that she..? There was a tautness in the air that did not dissipate. "I suppose we will have to wait and take the outcome as it is," Yelan whispered. For Fujitaka, it was both premonition and telepathy. The instant he'd realized this one extra twist to Sakura's fate, the outcome was already beginning.
He was lucky the stars were not crossed.
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Syaoran and Sakura walked silently to the park, Sakura still carrying Kero in her hands as if he were a stuffed toy. Every so often Syaoran would find himself staring at her, and half of that time, she'd be looking at him. There was something in both their eyes that mirrored each other, Kero realized. Sadness, confusion, wonder, hope...
Syaoran wondered if Sakura would ever remember, or if she'd even touched the slightest memory when she first laid eyes on him after the Nothing was sealed. He hurt to think that she broke her promise, even unwillingly, and that she no longer loved him. Every moment, every step he took towards the park, a thousand thoughts, a thousand questions, forced themselves upon his reluctant mind. Would she ever remember? Would she ever be the same again? Did she even feel the loss she now carried, no longer the powerful Card Mistress of the Clow Cards? Sakura would never love him again, would she?
No, the darker half of his heart and soul cried. No, she wouldn't. She never would... She would not keep her promise, and yet, though that inside him seemed to shout so bitterly against him, there was one part of him that whispered. Yes, she would. And so he did not lose hope.
Sakura did not know what burned below those amber eyes, but she, too, felt the mirrored power, emotion, that she and Syaoran shared.
There was something Sakura felt inside her heart, deep in the shadowed part of her soul, something that was forgotten. But she did not know what it was. When her eyes met Li's, something powerful coursed between them. She wondered what it was; she wondered about the dream she had. Those amber eyes reminded her of Li. Who was that who called out to her in her dreams? What promise had she made? Why was it that a part of her felt empty... as if whatever had been there was sucked from her? It brought a sadness she did not understand.
Her questions troubled her, but as she walked she could not help but feel a measure of hope. One day soon she would understand.
They continued to walk, and a voice interrupted their silent pace. Syaoran nearly froze.
"Ohayou, Sakura-chan!" Yukito shouted as he met them at the bridge to the park. "Ohayou, Li-kun." Syaoran could not meet Yukito's gaze, nor could he bring himself to reply. He could not even look at Sakura, for the fear of seeing what he feared the most was overpowering. Kero did not fail to notice this. Both magician and the Clow Guardian braced themselves for what could possibly end it all.
Syaoran mentally kicked himself. He didn't even realize that Yukito-san... Did Sakura love Tsukishiro... again?
"Ohayou, Yukito-san," Sakura replied. She smiled, but there was no sparkle in her eyes. There was no glow of feeling as Kero remembered it. She didn't blush. She didn't beam with quiet love as she spoke. "Onii-chan went to work this morning and said you could come over for dinner... since we've already got guests..." Something struck Sakura as she mentioned it, and she stole a side-glance to Li, but she did not bring it up.
"That's great," Yukito replied. "I'll bring desert."
Syaoran and Kero gaped inwardly at what had happened. Neither would believe fate could be so merciful, as Yukito, he who would have and could have but didn't steal Sakura away from Li Syaoran, hopped back onto his bicycle and rode down the street. Sakura didn't even laugh and wave, and turn around blushing with stars in her eyes.
Kero gave Syaoran a look, as if he meant to say, "What the ...just happened?!"
Syaoran's eyes replied, "I don't know... but I can't believe it. I will find a way to ask about it." And they kept on walking.
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They sat on the swings, staring idly at everything and nothing, like a shy couple out on their first date. The wind was the only voice, and Syaoran continued to watch Sakura. She seemed deep in thought... enshrouded by some small mass of confusion that had suddenly grown ten times its size.
"Sakura-san," he began, but she cut her off.
"Why did Yukito-san know your name, Li-kun?" she asked, almost absently. "Did you meet him before?"
"I... well, I..."
Kero sat unmoving on Sakura's lap, in a state somewhere between giving Syaoran a look of complete and utter sympathy, and throwing him bouts of cynical laughter. He couldn't decide what would be more proper for the occasion, so Kero, maintaining his stuffed animal guise, contented himself with watching what Syaoran would say. He was rather disappointed when Sakura spoke up first.
"Never mind, Li-kun, it doesn't matter."
"Sakura-san?"
"Hai, Li-kun?"
"Do you like Yukito-san?" he asked, his breath on a rush to keeping him from backing out of the question.
"What do you mean, Li-kun?" Typical, dense Sakura.
"He just... he seemed like that type of person... I was wondering if you... liked... you maybe... loved him..." Sakura mistook the catches in Syaoran's voice for whatever else she could have thought it was.
"Of course not, Li-kun," she replied, but she was not indignantly blushing when she said it. That made it truth, no? "Yukito-san's like a big brother to me. Besides, Yukito-san loves onii-chan, and 'nii-chan loves him," she said, smiling her buoyant smile. To Syaoran that was the greatest relief. But why was it like that? He wondered for a moment. Why did Sakura remember Yukito, but not love him as she once did? What happened?
His answers came, for he glanced back behind him and Sakura and saw, for only a moment, the image of Yue standing between the trees. Yue smiled at Syaoran, a rather melancholy smile, but his eyes revealed that there was some hope, some fulfillment, in them. Syaoran smiled back with his eyes only, and the Moon Guardian vanished. Now he understood.
Silence dropped again, heavily; the only voice accompanying the wind was the sound of creaking chains, metal-upon-metal; it rose and fell steadily from the swing set. Somewhere during their walk out to Penguin Park, it had become cloudy, and both Sakura and Syaoran were too consumed by their wonderings that neither realized until now. The clouds gathered, as if a counterpoint to the storm of confusion.
What was that dream about? Sakura screamed inwardly. Who was that talking to me? What promise did I make? To who? To her silent questions came silent replies... of nothing. There were no answers. So she continued to sit, swinging, staring at the grey skies, lost in her own imaginings. Who was that talking to me? What promise did I make? To who? Somebody answer me... tell me! This dream, though she'd only had it twice, plagued her, vexed her. She felt trapped in the darkness of unknowing, and she didn't know a way out. The dream seemed so important, but to what?
What was wrong with her?
Syaoran watched Sakura's features contort from a serene smile to a twisted frown of confusion, frustration... Her eyes seemed fixed on nothing yet concentrating on something. He smiled for a moment, remembering how long he'd known her, but that smile was shattered when some distant voice reminded him he didn't know her anymore. For some reason, he wanted to know what she was thinking. At least he did not have to ask.
"Li-kun?"
"Yeah?"
"I know it must be weird for me to ask," she said quietly, "but have you ever had a dream... like a dream that plagued you at night, and you couldn't understand what it meant? And for some reason you feel as if you need to find out?" Syaoran nodded. "What should I do about it, Li-kun?"
You should stop calling me Li, first. I'm Syaoran, he thought silently, sadly. "I don't know... maybe you should think it through. Listen to your heart."
"What does that mean?" Sakura asked.
"My mother once told me that if you listen to your heart, it gives you all the answers. It whispers them." Their eyes met and held for a moment, and then Sakura broke away. "Can I ask what your dream was about?"
"Oh, nothing," she replied softly. Then she turned to face him and laughed. "Wanna get some ice cream on the way back?" Syaoran smiled, and Sakura laughed, and then she grabbed his hand and ran off down the street, a near-paralysis stricken Syaoran being dragged like a second stuffed animal, next to Keroberos. Kero was laughing inwardly, but there was a serious part of him that told him he wouldn't get to eat any of that ice cream...
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In England, far across the waters and the land that separated Clow's reincarnation from his descendant, sat a house inhabited by the magic once belonging to Clow Reed. This house, on this secluded street, in this quiet area, was far from being just secluded and quiet. It lay in a realm of its own, where magic met the world, where fate met the living, where three souls watched and waited for the final outcome to unfold. They could see, and hear, but they could do nothing else.
"Is this the fate of which you spoke?" Ruby Moon asked her Master, who was seated in the library of this home, a look of forbearance sweeping his features. She stood behind him, the black Guardian beast named Spinel Sun at her side. "Is this what was destined to happen?"
"It is fate," Eriol replied.
"But what will become of this fate?" Spinel asked, his night-black coat, in the midst of these dark, unknowing hours, had lost its regal shine. "What will happen now that the new Mistress cannot remember her past, her powers?" He bore his questions into Eriol, knowing there would be no certain answer.
"There is nothing I can know, Spinel Sun... I, too, must wait and watch."
Ruby Moon stood to face the window, the light from the icon in whose name she was created glowed brilliantly against the panes of glass. One star in the sky did not glow as brightly as it once did. Sakura's star. "How sad," she whispered, "that it must turn out this way."
"Can it not be changed?" Spinel asked.
"It is fate," Eriol replied again. The silence descended upon the night, but there were still matters to be argued.
Spinel Sun enveloped himself in thought, and then sprang from it like a set trap. "But Keroberos was right, Eriol-san," he said strongly, as if daring fate itself to question him. "Clow Reed did not create the cards to cause human pain. He did not make them so the people who held them would suffer."
"That's true," Eriol answered. "But I cannot foresee what will become of this."
Ruby Moon seemed to contemplate this, her dark red eyes lost in the shrouds of wonder, pity, and hope. Though she had not known the Mistress as Keroberos or Yue had, she still knew Sakura. She cared about her. She respected her as she did her own master, Hiiragizawa Eriol. It was saddening to think this would be the cycle of fate forever, each time the cards were possessed by another magician, they would lose it all to the void of Nothing. How could the other magician boy stand it? How could he stand knowing that the one he loved sacrificed her memories to save the world she cared so much for? How could he stand knowing she could no longer remember him, let alone love him? It was all so painful.
"So this is what they call fate," Ruby Moon finally whispered. "Such a pitiful thing."
"Maybe not," Eriol replied quietly. "We can only hope." Not another word was spoken as Eriol closed his eyes.
In a few hours, dawn would light the eastern sky. The sun would rise, but the darkness would not disappear. Eriol shared Li Syaoran's pain. Li was, after all, his own blood descendant. The world around them would wake from their untroubled slumber, and another day of wondering and hoping would begin. For the first time in so long, Eriol felt completely helpless. Completely, utterly helpless. There was nothing he could do to help. Although he wanted to, he was not allowed to interfere.
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"Tadaima!" Sakura shouted from the front steps.
She skidded into the kitchen with a less-than-energetic Syaoran trailing four or five paces behind. Fujitaka, Touya, and Yelan looked up from their business. "Onii-chan, I met Yukito-san this morning," she told her brother, and missed that Fujitaka and Yelan both drew a sharp intake of breath. But Syaoran held no reaction. "He said he'd be glad to come for supper. He's going to bring desert."
Touya nodded. Yelan and Fujitaka watched Sakura and Syaoran. Sakura was not enveloped in a starry sense of love when she said Tsukishiro's name. Syaoran did not seem alarmed, or worried, or stricken with newfound heartbreak. It was perplexing.
Yelan, nearing supper, finally took her son aside. "What happened?" she asked. "Kinomoto-san told me about Sakura and Tsukishiro... what happened when you met him?"
"Nothing," he whispered.
"What do you mean, Syaoran?" she asked.
"Yue changed something," he answered in a voice too low to be heard by anyone except his mother standing beside him. "I don't know what he changed, but he had some power over it. He changed something. He didn't tell me, but when I saw him, I knew... I just knew." Suddenly, Yelan smiled.
"You're a lucky boy that the Master of Judgement favours you," she said. Her smile was something rare, and Syaoran felt that distant hope grow larger. "I understand, now, what he did as well. I will tell Kinomoto-san. You should be thankful... Syaoran." Syaoran nodded, and they joined the Kinomotos and Tsukishiro Yukito for supper. Syaoran was lucky; Sakura did not love Yukito-san as they thought she would. He had Yue to thank for that.
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"So Yue did twist fate," Ruby Moon observed. "I didn't think he'd have the power..."
"You're forgetting that Kinomoto's son gave Yue the power to survive," Spinel Sun replied. "That power is strong enough to both sustain him and help him do as he pleases with many other powers... like that of fate."
"Such things are dangerous," she replied, her ruby eyes glowing. "Is it right to tamper with things so? Are we allowed to cheat?"
"No, we are not," Eriol replied, not looking from the window he was currently gazing out. "But Sakura would not be having that dream if destiny did not mean for her to remember. Yue is a stubborn soul, and he is less likely to heed to fate than Keroberos. He changed what he could, but I'm afraid Yue cannot do no more."
"He did what he could, and it was a great much," Ruby said softly. "Like the magician boy, I am also thankful."
Eriol smiled as he thought of this.
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That night, the essence of Sakura's dream changed.
She was floating, yes, in that same darkness, with the same voice and the amber eyes that called out to her. "You promised," it said. "You promised to remember." The blackness was mundane; Sakura had long since grown used to it. She floated for what seemed like eternities, watching the ripples of liquid blue light scatter in all directions, listening to the voice that called for her. And yet... and yet she could not understand. She could not remember what it bade her to.
She pleaded to be shown what it all meant. She begged the languid darkness to show her what she could not see, and as if answering to her pleas, the black abyss faded into another dream... another reality, where lost memories still lived.
Sakura walked alone down the sunny Tomoeda streets, the white pavement reflecting the light so brightly she almost had to shield her eyes. She crossed the bridge alone, and stopped to stare into the rushing water below. It rushed and tumbled over the rocky bottom of the stream, splashing and crashing against the banks. But the only company she saw was her own reflection.
It was quiet, but in the background, as if it were only whispering by on the wind, she heard voices. She heard laughter. But when she looked, she was alone. Sakura crossed over to the Penguin Park, where the slide stood prominent in the centre of it all. Something drew her to it... something reminded her that this place was important. Many things happened here, it was just that she could not remember.
"Sakura-chan?" Someone called her name. "Sakura, where are you?"
The voice was familiar. It was someone she knew... but who was it?
"Who are you?" she asked the summer air.
"Sakura? You promised..."
She tried to follow the voice, circling the penguin slide, once, twice. She called out to the person who called her, but received no answer.
"Where did you go?" Sakura asked, but she was still alone. Summer faded as she stood and wondered, and as she searched for something she couldn't remember. The bold summer leaves turned gold and orange before they fell and died to thick carpets on the ground below. "Who are you?" she asked.
It was autumn now, the crisp air seemed to crackle as she breathed it in.
She walked alone again, this time to a shrine she somehow knew was there. In the centre of that shrine was a large tree, a red knot tied around its trunk. Something happened here, before, something, many things, happened at this shrine... but Sakura could not remember.
"Don't you remember this place, Sakura?" A voice called out to her again. It was the same one as before. "Don't you remember any of it?"
"Who are you?" she replied, but the wind answered incoherently. "What should I remember?"
The leaves of gold and orange, and red and yellow danced in the breeze, scattering across the stone paths. She walked down each one of them, thinking, wondering, but not remembering. A figure with deep amber eyes stood beneath that tree in the centre, unmoving, only watching her. She continued to stare back, each second bringing her closer to that jolt when she would remember. That person's name danced just beyond her reach... yet it was not just a name that seemed important.
"Sakura-chan," it said. "You promised..."
But before she could reply, the person disappeared. So did the sun, and the leaves.
Snow was falling when she looked around again, and again she was alone. The snowflakes danced as they fell, the wind picking them up and swirling them into little drifts on the street. The street lights were on, and Sakura found herself returning home. But as she walked, she heard footsteps. They followed. They moved when she moved, and stopped when she did.
"Who's there?" she called, but in the shadows between the street lights, no one answered.
She continued to walk, turning every second moment to check who was behind her, but each time she was alone. And then she reached her house. Sakura opened the door and stepped inside. It was eerily quiet.
"Tadaima!" she shouted, but no one answered. "Hoe? Where did everyone go?" The living room was empty. The kitchen was empty. The bedrooms were empty. Suddenly, there was a noise in the main foyer. She slipped down the stairs to find the front door open.
"Sakura-chan?" that voice called. "Are you home?"
"Who are you?" she replied. "Where are you?" But whoever it was had vanished.
The snow melted, then, as if these were the seasons of her life, constantly changing. Always different. The falling snow became a light drizzle, and then the heavy downpour of spring. The cherry blossoms danced on the tree branches, scattering like confetti on the grass below.
"Sakura," a voice said again, and beneath the cherry blossom trees, she turned and found herself facing a pair of amber eyes. "You promised to remember..."
"Who are you?" she whispered, in wonder and dismay, for even through the seasons she could not remember who he was. "Who?" Spring faded into the darkness of the other dream, and that dream faded into sleep. Yet she still did not understand.
"Who are you?"
In his own sleep, Syaoran tried to answer her. Kero did nothing but watch.
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Author's Notes: Sorry I had to end it here! There's still one more part to go, and I probably won't be posting it for another week... This chap was pretty inactive, but I needed it as a filler... so to speak. Just to explain Eriol's whereabouts and Yukito's role in all of this... S&S fans, the NEXT part has what you want to read, k? Right now I gotta finish off some other stuff that's NON-fanfiction related... x.X
Oh, and just for fun, since I do have a lot of the third and final chap done, here are some things that will happen next time... the ending shall remain a mystery until then...
PREVIEW #1:
On her desk there lay a stack of cards... she picked one up and read its name.
"Dream," she whispered, and a strange, almost magical feeling surrounded her. Everything went black, and in that darkness she heard the echo of a thousand words and visions, but only some had meaning she could understand.
PREVIEW #2:
Fujitaka and Touya burst up the stairs as Sakura had screamed, only to find her backing out of her room, the Clow book and the cards scattered over the floor. "Sakura!" She turned around, almost oblivious to her father and brother, and ran.
PREVIEW #3:
"One day, Sakura," Syaoran whispered to himself, "you'll remember me again, and when you do, I'll still be waiting." He walked through the air terminal slowly behind his mother. Yelan felt her son's grief, but he had chosen what he thought was right. Sakura no longer remembered. She no longer needed him. He would leave her to her life. It would be better that way.
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PLZ RxR! Thanx! :)
Cat