Thanks for the reviews everyone, not as much responses as I would prefer, but oh well. Sorry about the wait, but here it is.

Dear Harm,

I'm sorry for everything and the way I've treated you. If you are wondering, and I know you are, Brian in a good man and loves me. I must ask one thing of you, and you have to answer me truly. Do you regret letting me go? Don't think it will change anything, and I understand that I'm in no position to ask this, but I am and I'm sorry. Harm, can you please talk to me one more time, I miss your voice and you telling me how you care just once more. I miss your eyes, caring me with every step, and your touch, even when you don't touch me at all.

Sincerely,

Mac

Mac walked in the bullpen looking around at the self-involved people working mindlessly away on their current task at hand. Seeing Harm was no where in sight, she gave a quick nod and headed to her office, hoping upon hope that she could finish the day out in there.

Unfortunately for Mac, Tyner was quickly in her office with a message from the Admiral to meet him right away. Mac gave a quick smile of thanks as she looked up.

"Ma'am, what happened to your face?" he asked, looking at her redder mark.

"Um... kick boxing," Mac easily lied, adding the rolled eyes for extra measure.

"Get your butt kick Ma'am?" Tyner asked giving his serious goofy face only he could pull.

"No, Tyner," Mac said, eyebrows roused at the outburst.

"Of course not... Ma'am," he added sheepishly. Excusing himself from the office, he left, leaving the door slightly opened. Annoyed, Mac got up and left to the Admiral's office.

"Sir?" she asked, walking in the halfway opened door.

"Col., take a seat," he ordered in a friendly voice. She complied, walking swiftly towards the chair, which practically had her imprint in it by now. "What happened to your eye?" he asked, when he looked up from his papers.

"Kick boxing class," Mac easily lied again, rubbing at her cheek. "Sir," she added after a delayed second.

"Hmm..." he mused, knowing something was wrong with the story, but decided to let it pass as he went on explaining her the latest news. Mac kept her attention focus and gave a few needed nods.

"Col, are you sure you are okay?" he asked before he was about to dismiss her. She looked into her eyes and gave a tight smile.

"Of course," she said, smiling a believable smile once again as she brushed back a strained of her hair. The Admiral gave her a sideways glanced before dismissing her to follow up on the lead he had just explained moments before.

The day past by and Mac stayed in her office more than usual, but then again, had no real reason of leaving. Finishing up, it was now 1734 and she was more than ready to go home. Organizing a little part of her desk, she left, saying goodbye only to the watch guard.

Exactly twenty-three minutes later, Mac pulled into her driveway. Getting out of the car with only her purse, she walked up to the sorry excuse of a front porch where a single rose laid. Mac, smiling, picked it up, and walked into her house with a huge smile. Mac got a vase and put the single, beautiful red rose on the counter as she opened the small enveloped.

"Sorry," it read in a beautiful cursive writing on front. Opening, she recognized his handwriting.

My beloved Sarah,

How sorry I am. I can't believe I could ever do anything that stupid. I can't believe I could ever do anything to hurt you. You, Sarah McIntyre, are the love of my life, the reason I live. I can't tell you how much I love you, because I feel there are no words to describe. But I can Sarah, tell you that it is love. I will not make an excuse for what happened, because there is none to be made. I don't know what I would do without in my life, and I hope that you will find it in that oversize heart of yours to forgive. I have reservations the Red Rock Grill for 7. I would be more than honored if you join me.

Brian

Mac smiled at the note and folded it. It took her less than a second to decide what she went in her room to change. Seventeen minutes later, Mac came out wearing a black skirt with a diagonal cut below her knees and a white top that straps laid off her narrow shoulders. Smiling at herself in the mirror, she grabbed her black purse and left to the Red Rock Grill.

She made it with four minutes until seven and with Brian nowhere in sight. Standing outside, she awaited, only to see him pull up a minute later with a black tux and a bouquet of roses in his hand. Handing her the bouquet, and kissing his beautiful wife, he brushed back a strand of her hair.

"What's this?" she asked, holding up the flowers when she noticed on missing.

"Eleven roses. The rest of the dozen," he said with a cute, sheepish smile as he kissed her again and led her inside. Mac smiled at his joke and kissed him again as the waiter led them to their table.

Dinner went by quickly as they shared some crab cakes, salad, an order of ribs, and a key lime pie for dessert. Mac had noticed she didn't eat as much as she used to, but, frankly, never really felt hungry. Brian had first made comments about her eating habits, and would make her feel guilty eating too much, but of course, it was because of how unhealthy she had eaten. Before, she rarely got salad and would some stuff herself in front of anyone. Picking at the last of the key lime pie, she scooped it into her fork and fed it to Brian before replacing the silver fork with her lips.

As Brian paid for the meal, Mac left early to pick out some wine and bring it over to the house. She was also going to buy a few more beers so they would have some since she drank them all over the weekend. Shuddering at the thought, she turned up the music and headed to an all day liquor store.

Mac pulled into the driveway at home to see Brian's dark black car already there. Smiling she grabbed the wine bottle and a carton with six bottles of Bud Lite she walked into the house to a lustful Brian. As Mac walked into the kitchen, Brian started to kiss her on the neck from behind. Mac tried to continue her task, but found it more than difficult to with the distraction. Not that it was a bad distraction, it became an even bigger on when he started on her ear. Mac giggled like a teenage girl as she finally got the bottles sat down and turned towards him.

"I missed you this weekend," he moaned through the kisses. Mac's next task, pouring the wine, was an even more difficult task. After five minutes, she handed him his glass and they enjoyed the bittersweet wine. He finally pulled away long enough to take hold out his glass.

"A cheer," he said with a smile. Mac just looked at him, not sure what to say.

"A cheer to a new, better start. A cheer to the most beautiful person I know and love," he said, kissing her before he took a sip of the red wine.

"Cheers," Mac whispered seductively.

Their childish flirting games lasted five glasses of wine until Brian led Mac to their room and Mac started working on Brian's shirt. Rubbing around his buff, darkly tanned chest, she giggled again.

"Strip for me," Brian practically ordered. Mac shrugged, too drunk to care, as she started on her own little show for him until Brain's lust took over and he pulled her in roughly for less than passionate sex.

Mac woke up, her head throbbing as she looked around. Rubbing it slightly, she gave an annoyed groan. Brian laid naked under the covers, still sleeping with one arm over her tightly. Moving it off her genially, she sat up giving another groan as her chocolate brown eyes flickered the messy room. About this moment, as she pulled the heavy blanket around her, she noticed the mess in their once perfect room. A litter of a few beer bottles were indolently thrown off Brian's side of the bed. The nightstand and TV were masked by clothes she had worn the night before and the floor had her the rest of them.

Running a hand through her hair, she stood up. Just as quickly as she got balance double vision took over and her knees started to shake. Grabbing the bed, she waited for her vision to clear and took a few steps. Wishing a moment she was capable to walk, so she went to her closet, picking out her running cloths for an early morning jog she hadn't done in some time.

Mac felt good as the chilled breeze ran through her dark brown hair that flapped as she moved to an on tempo beat. She wouldn't tell anyone, but this is how she got away from it all. This is the only place when the world didn't matter, when they didn't matter, and when time didn't matter. Slowing down, she changed into a steady jog. The street was dark, as the sun still slept as she turned back onto her street. Her mind came back to life as she realized she had been out forty-eight minutes already and for sure Brian would be up.

As her jog faded into a walk, she felt pain and fear run through her veins, a feeling she hadn't had for almost 15 years. Shaking the thought out of mind she let calmness sink in before placing her hand on the door handle and opening the door just enough to squeeze in.

"Where have you been?" Brian asked from behind her as she poured her coffee. Mac froze, her hand clutching the handle of the mug as she slowly turned around. "Well?" he asked rather inpatient.

"I... I went running," she stuttered, getting mad at herself for her fear. "Alone," she added, much to her dislike. As Mac studied Brian, she noticed a flame flutter in his eyes and she unconsciously backed up into the fake marble counter.

Brian's arm lifted to grab Mac's skinny wrist and pull them into his chest. Mac fought the urge to pull away as she looked into his possessed eyes. What was going on in there? She wondered, keeping their eyes locked just because she was afraid to look away.

"Mac," his voice started in an almost pleading pitch, "you know I love you, and I know you love me, so why do you keep this up? Why do you cheat on me?" Mac stammered, looking for words but knowing none could fix this.

"I, I didn't...I swear I was alone," Mac pronounced in a pleading voice imitating his.

"Bull shit!" he screamed, his grip on her wrist changing simultaneously with his tone. Mac flinched at that as a tear threaten to fall.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, trying to pull away from his glare.

"What's that, bitch? NOW you're sorry? NOW you care that you are ruining our marriage? Why NOW? Why not when you slept with him?" Brian asked, shaking her wrist, which were now losing all feeling, coming almost as numb as she felt.

"I, I didn't sleep with him," she whispered.

"Bull shit!" he yelled, shoving her back where her head slammed against the cubby. She screamed in pain, begging him silently to stop and let her be.

"Brian... please, don't... let me go... we can talk about this," she cried between tears.

"Talk?" he asked, his eyes fixed on her. "Talk about how much I care about you and just want to help you? Or do want to talk about how you are never here, and how you flaunt yourself at every other guy?" he asked turning her around where his back was against the counter. Is that what he taught? Did she really flaunt herself?

"I'm sorry," Mac said, sincerely meaning it. Looking into her eyes, Brian could tell that and let her wrist go as he pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry too, you know that I love you, right?" he asked, wiping away a tear as he pulled back.

"I know, and I love you too," Mac said, kissing him on the lips.

A/n: I'm going to quit; the paper clip seems bored, so I guess I've wrote enough. Please review, the little purple button is calling your name, telling you "push me, you love me."