Peacewish: Snuck in a chess moment, Tam! Tada! Btw, characters aren't mine.
Li: The disclaimer's coming first this time. For some reason, Peacewish wants to get it out of the way now.
Peacewish: Because you readers are gonna hate me at the end of this chapter.
Li: Why?
Peacewish: You have been warned.
Chapter 10
'puzzles'
Flying.
Flying faster than he'd ever flown in his life, zooming at inhuman speed through the strange structure. Too fast, too fast for them to catch, he must escape. Didn't understand why yet, knew he shouldn't leave her behind, but she had ordered.
Reborn. Come into the world as pure energy, but she did not allow him to assume his material form. Pushed away, commanded to flee, and he did not dare disobey his creator.
"Get out!"
Escape. Faster than light he hurtled through the white prison and burst free into open space with no more direction than that, no one to guide or explain. Only her words seared into him, words that he would follow unto the end of the universe.
"Find my brother. He'll be looking. Go!"
He would return for her.
Yukito jerked violently awake and nearly fell out of bed, his ragged breathing echoing loudly in the small bunk, gulping for air like a desperate swimmer. He was trapped, he had to fly, he had to get out of this place! Panicked, he thrashed at the sheets.
It wasn't until he glimpsed Touya's shirt strewn across the bed next to him that he remembered where he was. He snatched it and clutched it to his chest, inhaling the masculine scent that clung to it with a forced deep breath. He was here, on the Wildflower and safe. Nothing to fear. Nothing to escape.
Only Touya, opening the door to their bunk and climbing down one-handed with a steaming bowl in one hand. "Yuki, I brought you some- Yuki?" His feet hit the floor and he finally noticed his boyfriend's trembling hands, pale skin bright with perspiration, eyes dilated in fear. His heart thumped in his chest and he slid the porridge onto Yuki's bedside shelf. "Yuki, what is it? Are you dizzy, feel faint?"
He scrambled over the bed and wrapped his arms around his lover and Yuki melted into them, pushing his head up to Touya's chin. God how he loved his smell, like soap and engine grease and the sweat of hard labor. The comforting reality of it scattered his inexplicable terror and he exhaled with a shudder.
"No… I'm fine. I just had such a strange dream."
"What happened?" His calloused fingers were stroking through Yuki's fine hair now, gentle and soothing. It felt so good.
"I dreamed I was back in the satellite."
"Sakura's satellite?"
"Mm. And I was- flying."
"The ship, you mean?"
No.
"Y-yes," Yuki lied. "I was flying the ship." That wasn't right but he couldn't offer up the truth, not to Touya who so hated the paranormal. He flexed and curled the fingers of his right hand, unwillingly reliving that sharp pain and the sight of the bartender's bleeding wounds. Did it really happen? Had he done that?
No, he was just a normal human like everyone else, he'd never had magic. The ship crew that had raised him, they'd have known – what cruise line was it again? He fumbled for the name but it slipped away. Who taught him to fly? How old was he, anyway?
Answers that he used to know skittered away like bubbles caught in the breeze. Dread curled up in his stomach and without realizing it he began to shake again. Touya squeezed him and dropped a kiss on his hair.
"Shh. It's all right, it was just a dream. They don't mean anything. We're never going back to that place again, you know that."
I don't know anything, Yukito wanted to cry. He ached to say it aloud but fear kept him silent, fear of the man who held him so close right now and whispered words of comfort. Because he loved Touya so much, he really did, and he couldn't bear to lose him. If he told the truth would Touya pull away, glare at him with the same distrust that he'd shown the witch on Partine?
Not the man he loved, he wanted to believe. But he didn't know and so he kept silent, his heart breaking with the pain of it. True love shouldn't have to keep secrets.
"Feel better?" Touya inquired after a few moments of silence. He didn't, really, but circumstances being what they were he managed a limp nod. "That's good. You really had me scared on Partine, you know. You'd never looked so far gone before." Reluctantly he unwrapped his arms so he could retrieve the bowl of porridge, and deftly inserted a spoonful between Yuki's lips. Obediently he swallowed.
"It was a bad day, that's all. I don't like the heat."
"I know. And then everything went wrong, and we couldn't even get to the doctor. Again." He was visibly frustrated and Yuki patted his hand before accepting another spoonful and swallowing.
"Please don't worry about me, Touya, I really do feel all right this morning. I promise we'll go to the doctor next stop. Speaking of which…"
"Right, next stop. I haven't had the chance to really think about it." Touya blew his bangs out of his eyes and fed Yuki another mouthful. "What do you think?"
"Well, uh," Yuki started, bracing himself. This wouldn't be easy. "Actually, I was thinking, since he was such a help on Partine and all, we could take Li to D.C."
He cringed when the spoon dropped in the bowl and splattered porridge over the sheets.
"What? Are you crazy, Yuki? You know we never go near that planet! Why the hell would we go there for the sake of some brat kid?"
"That brat kid saved our lives yesterday, Touya."
"I would have come up with something," was the huffy response. Yuki rolled his eyes.
"And your sister, and Tomoyo? Way out in the desert?"
Touya snarled and pushed himself off the bed, nearly upsetting the bowl. Yukito rescued it just in time. "Don't remind me."
"So it bothers you that someone else rescued your sister for once? Is that it?"
"That is not 'it'," Touya replied testily, though in fact it was. Yuki knew this, and raised an eyebrow. "He's hiding something, I know it."
"Course he is. Aren't we all?"
"Well I don't like him and I don't trust him. I do not intend to fly right into our government's capital just to do him a favor. I'm still captain of this ship, and what I say goes."
"You really are a stubborn creature, aren't you?"
"It's what got my sister back, isn't it?" Touya scowled at Yuki's remonstrative tone and turned to climb out of the bunk. "I'll be in the cockpit when you're done. If you can tear yourself away from worshipping the ground he walks on."
The bunk door slammed shut behind him with a particularly loud bang and Yukito grimaced, toying with the rather bland oatmeal before he took another bite. He wished he could say that exchange left him with no appetite, but it was not so. As always, he was starving.
- - - - - - -
Li waited for Tomoyo to vacate the shower, then took a quick rinse before he joined her in the galley. The water was still hot and some bowls were set out, but Touya had left to bring Yukito his breakfast in bed and she was the only one there when he arrived.
Tomoyo poured steaming water into a mug and glanced up when Li sat down at the table. "Cup of tea?"
"Sure." He hesitated, and smiled briefly. "You'd better make three."
"Hmm?"
"She's awake." The calm certainty in his voice made her heart flutter, and she didn't miss the tender look in his eyes either. Dutifully she poured three cups of tea and set them on the table.
"You just… know?"
"Yup." And sure enough Sakura came skipping into the galley a minute later, looking refreshed and full of morning cheer. She beamed at Tomoyo before sliding into the seat next to Li's, who greeted her with another quick smile.
"Good morning, Sakura. Are you hungry?"
"Mm!"
"I made you some oatmeal." Tomoyo added dried fruit and sprinkled a little sugar over the top, just how Sakura liked it, and set the bowl in front of her. "Eat up." Enthusiastically Sakura wielded her spoon, and Tomoyo opened the shallow drawer set aside for Sakura's various medications.
"No."
Hand on the packet of morning tablets, Tomoyo glanced up at the curt and lonely word. "What?"
"No medicine." Li glared a warning from his place next to Sakura, and in a detached sort of way Tomoyo noticed that they were holding hands.
"But it helps her feel -"
"No," he said flatly, "it doesn't." Sakura never looked up from her breakfast, apparently disinterested, but Tomoyo knew from experience how much she would struggle when she tried to administer the pill. Her hand was gripping Li's a little more tightly, too. Feeling outnumbered, she nodded and shut the drawer.
"All right. No medicine." She dropped into the chair opposite his and took a soothing sip of her tea. Li relaxed, but he didn't let go of Sakura's hand. "Is there anything else that you would like to tell me about my cousin?"
"Like what?"
Tomoyo shrugged helplessly. "I just want to understand. They did so much to her, and I don't even know what it's like for her. I wish I knew how her mind works."
Li snorted. "No, you don't. Believe me, you don't."
"If you could tell me just a little," Tomoyo pressed. Li gave her a sharp look over the rim of his mug and drained the last of his tea.
"Nice mugs you keep here."
She blinked at the sudden shift in topic. "Oh, er, thanks. I know one shouldn't have ceramic mugs on a spaceship but they were just so cute, I -" Li smashed the mug against the table and she jumped out of her seat with a yelp.
"Wh-why…"
He put a finger over his lips and nodded to Sakura. "Watch."
Sakura's head had jerked up at the loud crack, and her eyes never left the splintered mess in the center of the table as she swallowed the last of her breakfast. She was staring at it with the same fixation she'd always watched Tomoyo sew her clothes, or Yukito tune the engine. Eagerly she reached for the shards.
"She'll cut herself!" Reflexively Tomoyo tried to intercept Sakura's hands, only to have Li snatch her wrist.
"No, she won't. Just watch."
Lips pursed in a little pout of concentration, Sakura started piecing the broken mug together. One shard after another, each tiny chip, every thin sliver of porcelain, she never hesitated or stopped to think, rebuilding as quickly and smoothly as Tomoyo could thread her needle. In less time than her astonished cousin could catch up, she'd finished most of it. But it couldn't stand free if she let go, and she whimpered with frustration.
"Shh," Li soothed, and placed his hand lightly over hers. The hairline cracks running through the cup flared with molten light, searing shut and then disappearing entirely. Happily Sakura added the last few fragments and then they too were sealed fast. Whole again, it rested on the table looking exactly as it had minutes before, smooth and innocuous. She sighed contentedly and took a big swallow of her tea.
Li looked up; Tomoyo's eyes were big around as the teacup they'd just finished reconstructing.
"She can't help herself. If she sees a puzzle then she has to put it together. To her the whole universe is a puzzle, every person, every action of every person, every reaction of every person that person knows… she sees how it all fits together. It's how they designed her."
Tomoyo felt a little dazed, and she sat back in her chair with a thump. It was too impossible to believe, but the mug sitting in front of her would not be ignored. Tentatively she touched it with one fingertip; it was still warm.
"Oh my…"
"Well, you asked."
"I did." Her eyes strayed to Sakura again, who was humming under her breath and gazing dreamily into thin air. Her poor Sakura. "Li."
"Yeah?"
"You have to tell Touya this."
Li's spoon clattered in his bowl and he looked up with an expression as disbelieving as hers had been seconds before. "Excuse me?"
"This… this is big. She's his sister, he should know about this."
"The less he knows the better. The guy hates me, you know that."
She couldn't quite bring herself to disagree. "But this is important. If you understand so much about her then maybe we can figure out what happened. Maybe we could even try to fix her!"
"I can't fix her, Tomoyo," he snapped, and she shrank back some. "I'm sorry, but there's still so much I don't understand about what they did. I don't even know if she can go back, after all this time. There's nothing I can do."
She bit her lip. "You said you'd be there for her. You said you'd protect her."
"Yes, I did. I meant it."
"Well you won't be able to if you're not here. If nothing else, you have to convince Touya to let you stay on the ship. Maybe if he gets to know you a little, he'll be willing to listen."
He seriously doubted it, but she did have a point about staying on the ship. It wasn't just Tomoyo looking at him so expectantly either, Sakura's eyes were bright with hope as her fingers intertwined with his. Tomoyo saw him hesitate and pressed her cause.
"Her brother is very special to her, Li, she loves him. For her sake, you have to try."
Those green eyes would not be denied. He knew all too well how much she loved the captain, he could still remember her terror on Partine.
"Okay," he sighed. "I'll give it a shot. For you." Sakura rewarded him with a dazzling smile and a light kiss on the cheek.
She really did put him through so much.
- - - - - - -
But that didn't mean he had to make himself confront the captain right away. It was too early for that and far more pleasant to just stay in the rear of the ship, in Sakura's company. After Tomoyo assured him that both Touya and Yuki were staying put in the cockpit, for the time being, he took the opportunity to activate his sword for a few drills.
This time Sakura went through the motions right alongside him, holding an imaginary sword in her hands.
Forward thrust, Slice, Reverse slice, spin. Sakura copied him effortlessly, her short pleated skirt swishing with every motion, the pink ribbons in her hair fluttering like little feathers. It made for an interesting contrast with her deadly kicks and vicious swipes, and he had to bite back an amused smile. Together in the relative privacy of the cargo hold they slashed and parried and blocked, methodically performing his entire repertoire of drills. Low side strike, turn, Reverse hook kick and Stab.
Li completed the last complicated maneuver and checked Sakura with a quick sideways glance. Her stance was a little off, which meant his stance was a little off. He adjusted his posture and she did the same.
Li couldn't help himself anymore, he chuckled and dropped his arms, withdrawing his sword. "You're as good as a mirror."
She relaxed as well and pouted in a coy manner. "As good as?"
"Better," he amended contritely, and she giggled. His grin grew. Somehow, it was reassuring that she'd managed to hang onto a sense of humor through all that hell, and knew how to use it. Knew how to flirt, too.
"How am I better than the mirror?" she purred, dancing her fingertips in a line up his chest.
"Well, you're a lot prettier than my own reflection," he offered, which provoked a light blush on her part. "Not to mention…" he leaned in close, nearly brushing her nose with his, "far, far more interesting…"
He'd nearly brought his lips to hers when he groaned and straightened. "Okay, give it back."
"Give what back?"
"You know what." He fixed a stern glare on her face and held out his hand. Defeated but unrepentant, Sakura dropped his sword amulet in it.
"Getting better," she teased.
"Getting to know you, that's all." He rolled his eyes and slipped it back on over his neck, tucking it securely underneath his shirt collar. At least she'd repaired the cord for him. "No more taking it, all right? I love this sword more than anything."
The mischief faded from her eyes and something that might have been disappointment flitted across her face.
"Why?"
"Now that is a question you of all people should not have to ask." But her quizzical expression didn't change and he turned away with a sigh. "I know you know what happened to my family, Sakura. You know my reasons." He looked back; she returned his stare unblinkingly. So she was going to make him say it.
"This sword is magic and magic is the reason the government targeted my family, taking away our home and everything we had. My sword and my freedom were all I managed to save." He collapsed onto the edge of a supplies crate and stared dully at the floor, chest tightening like it always did whenever he dwelled on the injustice that had been dealt to his family.
"I fight with my sword, I fight all the time but I know I can't ever get it all back, not like how it was. Just like you." The memory of their conversation in the engine room flashed through his mind, Sakura shedding tears for a decaying flower that even she couldn't put back together. "We're the same," he said again, and looked up. She hadn't moved but remained statue still, watching him relive the old pain.
"You can't ever go back either, at least, I don't think you can. They took so much from you, Sakura, don't you hate them? How can you not?"
At last she blinked, green eyes perplexed. She stared at him uncomprehendingly, like a child confronted with a long word never before met.
"Hate," he repeated. "I know you know what it means. You must hate the ones that did this to you." He felt odd, trying to explain it to her, but his words didn't seem to be getting through. "Despise them, want to hurt them, make them pay for what they did. They kidnapped you, Sakura, messed with your mind. It was wrong."
She bit her lip, looking more and more bewildered with every syllable he uttered and finally whimpered in frustration.
"Never mind," he groaned, and waved a hand as if to wipe away the pointless conversation. "Just forget it, it doesn't matter. Hate sure isn't going to make you better."
She nodded uncertainly, apparently relieved that he'd ended the discussion, then decided she'd been standing still too long and took a couple sashaying steps. Her skirt flared out when she spun on one foot, and dreamily she moved across the cargo hold with the practiced grace of a dancer. Maybe she thought he needed the cheering up.
Emotionally weary, Li braced his palms behind him and leaned back, feeling witness to something precious. Tomoyo said Sakura never danced anymore, that she only did it for him. He was special to her, and although he wished he knew why, it was enough right now to simply watch.
Sakura, however, disagreed. Eventually she wafted her way over to where Li sat and extended her hand expectantly.
"Dancing," Li informed her in no uncertain tone, "is not something that I do. I am a fighter. I kill people. I do not dance."
Those green eyes got a little dewey.
"Fine," he groaned. "But don't expect me to be any good at it." He placed his hand in hers and nearly jumped at the unexpected burst of music. Li jerked away from Sakura and glanced around involuntarily for the piano; he knew better but it was so loud he could swear it had been right next to him. The cargo hold was unchanged, however, and eerily quiet now in contrast.
Sakura was still waiting patiently, her hand open in invitation. "So that's what you're listening to," he murmured, and again he grasped her hand. The moment his flesh made contact the music returned, rich and powerful, filling his head with the complicated melody. It wasn't a song he knew but it was beautiful, and compliantly he allowed Sakura to pull him to his feet. Feeling clumsy, he placed his other hand on her hip and held her close. He could feel her heart beating against his chest again, dimly, feel the light exhalation of her breath against his neck. She trusted him, she wanted only him to do this.
And they began, gently, steps small at first. When he didn't trip and realized that Sakura was easily adapting herself to whatever rhythm he chose (just as in his sword drills) he started moving faster, his steps growing longer and more confident. The music was only getting faster and he increased his own pace, propelling Sakura across the floor and even raising his arm to twirl her around. Her eyes shone with delight, and he wondered if she'd been so happy even once since her kidnapping. The music swelled in volume and before he knew what was happening he lifted her up and spun around, holding her high in the air. Li was strong and Sakura so thin, but he was surprised nonetheless at how weightless she seemed, as if she could fly right out of his arms if he let go for even a moment.
He did not let go, however, and she slid back down to the floor without breaking from his grasp. The music tapered to a lower pitch, fading away pleasantly in his mind.
"Well, who knew I could do that?" he said softly against her ear. "Imagine, Li Syaoran dancing. I'd never live it down if my cousin saw me now."
She giggled into his shirt.
"That's my real name, you know," when he realized what he'd just said. "I always went by Li in my hometown and the habit just stuck, but you can call me by my given name if you want."
"Hope?"
"Well yeah, I hope you will." It wasn't so important, right now, not when she was still pressed so close to him, her slim body enveloped his arms and apparently quite content to remain that way. Li inhaled the sweet scent of her hair and let his lips brush over it, trailing down onto her cheek and seeking her lips.
"HI, Touya!" Tomoyo practically shouted from somewhere past the stairway, out of sight. Reality splashed over Li like cold water, and the intimate moment shattered. Body reacting automatically, he broke away from Sakura and sprinted back to the supply crates. The dwindling piano music was abruptly switched off, and in the ensuing silence he heard Touya ask Tomoyo what she was doing just standing in the hall.
"I, uh, was just going back to my bunk and then I realized I forgot what it was I wanted to get – don't you hate it when that happens?"
Li vaulted over the large crate and dropped to the floor just in time. The rapid shift from drowsy content to a harsh adrenaline rush was not kind to his body, and he forced himself to keep his breathing light and even.
"There you are," he heard the captain greet Sakura, an unmistakably masculine pair of boots clunking down the metal stairs. "I haven't seen you all morning, what have you been up to?"
Unable to help himself, Li held his breath. But he needn't have worried. "Playing," Sakura informed her brother rather pertly.
"Down here in the cargo hold? Alone?" Li's heart almost stopped beating, but Touya had only been asking rhetorically and didn't wait for an answer. "I'd love to know just what it is you do when you 'play' alone, you little monster."
"Not a monster," she replied grumpily.
"Sure you are," he teased, then he must have taken the time to examine Sakura a little more closely. "Are you getting sick? You look a bit feverish to me; your face is warm."
"Not sick!"
"Mm, I think Tomoyo needs to take your temperature. You shouldn't hang around down here, it's too cold for you. C'mon, short stuff." Ignoring her meows of protest, Touya herded his sister back up the stairs and out of immediate hearing range. Li collapsed against the crate with relief.
He was still in the cargo hold when Tomoyo came looking ten minutes later, kicking and punching the air, swearing at the older brother in every language he knew.
"There you are. What happened, are you all right?"
"Fine," he answered curtly. "This ship is just too small, that's all."
"It does seem that way sometimes," Tomoyo offered sympathetically. "Touya just had me check Sakura's temperature; her face was flushed and her heart still beating fast when I saw her." She gave him a significant look but he just grunted and looked away. "At this rate he's going to figure it out eventually, especially since, as you pointed out, the Wildflower is so small. Have you thought about what you'll say to him?"
Li wrinkled his nose in distaste. "No." How could he, when Sakura proved such a delightful distraction?
"But I heard him talking in the cockpit with Yukito earlier, I think they're setting a course for Little Heavens spaceport. He'll expect you to get off there, I'm sure."
Li was sure of it too. For a fleeting moment he considered taking Sakura with him and leaving this antiquated flying box – and its bossy, smothering captain – behind. Tempting, all the more so because he could do it so easily. But no, Sakura would probably be miserable if he cut her off from Touya and the others. He couldn't do that to her, could he?
"He's in the galley now," Tomoyo continued, never suspecting the direction of Li's thoughts, "getting a bite to eat with Sakura. This is your chance."
Li's scowl darkened, but she was right, it had to be done. Reluctantly he trailed her up the stairs and around the bend in the corridor that led to the galley. But he held back from actually entering the room when she did, wanting to hang back unobserved for a moment. The everpresent kettle was on the stove again, and while waiting for the water to boil Touya had set out a game of magnetic chess to engage his sister.
"No, no, not like that, Sakura. This piece can only move forward, remember? Pick a square in front- no, you can't move two squares now. You're only allowed to do that when you first move it." Earnestly Sakura peered at the board, and after much serious contemplation selected a pawn and moved it.
"Right! Very good." Touya squeezed her hand proudly. "Now I'm going to move my knight here, see? What do you think you should move?"
For the briefest of moments, Sakura glanced up and crinkled her nose at Li, eyes capering with amused glee. Then just as quickly she dropped her gaze to the board again, her face a mask of concentration. Li had to choke back laughter, clapping a hand over his mouth to keep silent.
"This one!" she declared, hand over her queen.
"No, not yet, you still have pieces in front of that one. Choose one in front, okay?"
"Mm, okay!" Singing tunelessly under her breath, her fingertips danced along the assembled pieces and then slid another pawn forward.
"Good move, Sakura!" Touya praised in delight. "And all by yourself, I knew you could do it. That's my girl." He dropped an enthusiastic kiss on her hand and rubbed it between his own, and Sakura beamed. A snort finally escaped Li and Touya looked up, noticing his presence for the first time.
"Something funny?" he asked dangerously. Next to him, Sakura winked slyly, and it was all Li could do not to fall on the floor laughing.
Oh yes, he wanted to say, there is. Your sister could chase you off the board in less than five moves if she wanted to, she's playing with you. She's more than smart, she's devious.
"No," he managed to gasp. "It's nothing." Touya's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but before he could say anything the kettle split the air with a sharp whistle. Sakura whimpered and a line of bright pain shot through Li's mind, right behind his eyes. He flinched and closed them, pinching the bridge of his nose and sucking in a lungful of air through clenched teeth. Distantly he could hear Sakura's labored panting, in sync with his own. Images, sharp with detail but too fast to see, flashed in his head like miniature explosions: white room giant cat machines needles scalpel tests – a face – the sun and the moon.
The unfinished sun and moon.
"Take the kettle off, Tomoyo!" Touya snapped and his cousin scurried to comply.
"Sorry, sorry, Sakura. My hands were full for just a minute." She turned off the stove and lifted the kettle, flipping up the lid to release the pent up steam. The pain subsided and Li opened his eyes with a shudder, to see Sakura also relax and inhale. Her brother had moved to her side and hugged her close, anxiously examining her face and asking if she was all right. She nodded and mumbled an affirmative before resting her head on his shoulder and meeting Li's eyes once more.
Her face was pale but apologetic and Li could barely bring himself to nod before he collapsed against the doorframe, shaken, wishing for just a moment that someone would hug and comfort him too. Every minute he spent with Sakura the connection grew ever stronger, drawing him closer to the truth, but also down into her personal hell and he wasn't sure he was strong enough to bear it.
"Here you go, Li," Tomoyo pipped, handing him a steaming cup with a wry grin. "Instant noodles. House specialty on this ship."
The aromatic steam wafted up to his nose and his stomach revolted. Li had to look away, down at his trembling hands.
"Not hungry."
"Oh." She followed his gaze and finally noticed his pale skin and unsteady breathing. "Are you all right? You look like -"
"Fine," he interrupted, quickly, before the captain overheard anything. He extended his hand. "I'll take that to the pilot, if you want."
Involuntarily she clutched at the cup, her eyes flicking back to the embraced siblings. "But what about -"
"Now's not a good time," he growled, and snatched the noodles out of her hand before she could protest any more. "It's going to have to wait."
He fled the room and paused only when he'd made it to the main corridor to catch his breath. Wheezing, he braced himself against the steep steps leading to the cockpit and leaned over, watching the trembling gradually fade from his hands. So real, so sharp; did she always remember with such clarity? No wonder her nightmares reduced her to such a terrified wreck.
Why a whistling kettle, though? The noise was piercing, loud and unpleasant. And he remembered from their very first meeting that Sakura didn't react well to loud noises and conflict. Some kind of synesthesia then, an automatic stimulation of painful memories by adverse sensations, even though one had nothing to do with the other. It wasn't an uncommon trait in the world of sorcery, but of course Sakura had advanced it to a level he'd never heard of. The images called up were so tangible and real, it was as though he'd been there himself and that was no good thing. So many machines, monitoring, prodding, poking – he had to force down another wave of revulsion at the memory. And- and a lion? What the hell?
The pilot's lunch was getting cold, he couldn't stand here forever. Shaking off the last of his disorientation, Li retrieved the noodles from the bottom step and climbed up into the cockpit.
"I brought you some -" he started, the words dying in his throat when Yukito swiveled around his chair to face him.
"Oh, lunch? Thanks!" The ghostly white wings ruffled slightly as he leaned forward to pluck the cup from Li's hands, then he glanced up again. "Did you already eat? Have a seat if you like." The silver sheen in his eyes glittered coolly, in total contrast to the friendly invitation. Li blinked and the hallucination disappeared, leaving only a wingless Yukito and his ordinary brown eyes. Yet he knew it was not his imagination, not with the echo of Sakura's memories still coursing in his mind.
"Well this is interesting," he breathed, dropping into the captain's chair. Yukito paused after consuming a mouthful and looked over.
"Didja say something?" How had he missed this, initially? Some kind of human disguise, he supposed, a mask to hide the true magic. He'd never heard of such of thing, but Li was rapidly becoming accustomed to that on this ship.
"Ever get the feeling," he finally replied, "that you're about to find out just how much you didn't know?"
A hint of scared and guilty understanding flickered over his expression before Yukito covered it up with a smile, and shrugged. "I guess."
"You will," Li muttered under his breath.
They all would.
- - - - - - -
Li spent the rest of the afternoon, such as it was on a spaceship, watching the monotonous starry scenery outside and pretending to be dozing so the pilot wouldn't pester him with a lot of friendly conversation. In truth he was mulling over this latest development and how it could possibly fit in with the rest of what he knew. Anything to do with Sakura wasn't quite what it was, it seemed, and the strain of trying to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together rather hurt.
Especially since he still didn't know most of them. The headache continued to grow as he formulated and then discarded various theories, until finally, somewhat to his own surprise, he decided he didn't want to think about it anymore. Instead he indulged his memories of Sakura the girl, dancing, kissing, falling asleep with her in his arms… these were far more pleasant things to dwell on. Li Syaoran, master thief and sorcerer, had finally found the government's ultimate secret weapon and now he was falling in love with it.
Unexpected to say the least. Li's universe wasn't one that made room for things like friendship or love, not in his knife-edge game of wits with the government and their police. But he couldn't help himself. He liked being with her, he liked holding her, touching her, watching her smile just for him. There was just… something about Sakura.
"What was that?"
Li broke out of his daydreams to find the pilot gone, and Tomoyo sliding into his chair. Sakura wasn't just fascinating, she was incredibly distracting. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep aware of his surroundings, and for someone like Li that wasn't healthy.
"What was what?"
"You were humming something just now." She leaned forward, her eyes anxious. "I heard you."
Was he? He'd been reliving the memory of his dance with Sakura, and he must have been humming that tune aloud without realizing it. He repeated a few bars, not missing her astonished expression.
"What is it?"
"That's a song that Sakura's mother composed, before she died. Touya used to play it on the piano for Sakura, it was her favorite. How did you hear that song?"
Li's eyebrows went up slightly. "Play it on the piano, huh? He's pretty good."
"What?"
"Is her favorite song, Tomoyo," he corrected, a little louder. "Still is her favorite song, nothing's changed that."
"Oh, er, of course." She ducked her head, abashed. "I came up to tell you that dinner will be ready in a little while. Will you speak with Touya?"
"I guess." He eyed the console. Most of it was foreign to him, but he could recognize well enough the Solarian chart and their course through it. The ship was headed to Little Heavens, but D.C. wasn't completely out of the way, not yet. If he was going to persuade the captain, tonight had to be it.
But as it turned out, Touya wouldn't be joining them for dinner that evening. Yukito looked up from playing patty cake with Sakura and smiled apologetically.
"Touya thought today would be a good day to strip down the carbines and retune them, Tomoyo, and he's still not quite done. You know how hard it is to tear him away from something once he's decided what he will do."
Li closed his eyes briefly, and heard Tomoyo agree in a rather despairing tone of voice. But at least it meant they could have dinner without his suffocating presence. Yukito didn't pose anywhere near the threat he did, and failed to notice anything amiss when Sakura rubbed her foot against Li's under the table and he choked on his food.
"You all right?" he inquired, slapping Li on the back.
"Fine," Li wheezed, shooting a glare in her direction. But to all appearances she was totally absorbed with her dinner, never looking up. So devious.
Neither did Yukito notice that Tomoyo didn't force a sleeping pill down Sakura's throat that evening. They finished eating and the girls trooped off to get ready for bed, while Yukito stacked up the dirty plates by the sink in preparation to wash them. That left just one thing to do, and with a low groan Li stood up from the table.
Now or never.
Touya was flat on his back when Li found him in the engine room, methodically cranking and tightening each bolt on the naked turbine overhead. He didn't take his eyes off his task at the sound of Li's footsteps, but held out his right arm palm up.
"Hey Yuki, can you hand me that cloth?"
Obediently Li knelt by the toolbox and dropped the grease-stained cloth into Touya's open hand.
"Thanks."
"Must be hard work," Li ventured, "maintaining this ship all the time." Touya jerked upright and promptly banged his head on the turbine. Li winced.
"Ouch!" He glowered at Li like it was his fault he'd hit his own head. "What are you doing here?"
"Um, no reason. Do you need an extra pair of hands or anything?"
"No." Pointedly Touya turned his attention back to wiping grease from the bolts. It was very clearly a dismissal, but Li had promised Sakura. He sat back on the floor with a sigh, absentmindedly tracing the curve of the still turbine next to him.
"This is a sequential layout, isn't it? Power isn't generated in each turbine but transferred down the line." Touya said nothing, but Li was fairly sure he was tightening those bolts more viciously than necessary. "You must really have to work at these to keep any efficiency, huh?" Still no reply. "But it does make for some impressive speed. I mean, you can really move when you want to."
Touya muttered something under his breath and slid out from underneath his project, slamming the wrench down on the floor with a clang. "Why are you talking to me? I thought we both understood that I don't like you."
Li curled his fists and with supreme difficulty bit back an answering retort. Sakura, Sakura, must remember Sakura.
"Actually, I did want to ask you something. About going to D.C." Touya banged the cover of the turbine back on and started on the screws that held it there, probably trying to ignore him again. "I live with my younger cousin, and I've really been away too long. I need to get home and check on her, make sure she's doing all right. You know how it is, right? Taking care of a girl."
Touya's head shot up with a warning glare, eyes glittering, and Li's attempted smile wilted. Okay, maybe not a good idea to bring up Sakura.
"Look, I want to hire you to take me home. How much do you want?"
"None."
"None?"
"That's right." Touya finished his job and threw the screwdriver in the toolbox. "I don't want your money, I don't care how much you have, we are not going to D.C. We're headed to Little Heavens, you can find a ride home from there. Like you should have done at Crossworlds."
He strode out of the room at those words and Li exhaled in frustration before following. "Look, it's not that far. What's the big problem? I'll even pay for fuel."
"Did they not teach you Basic where you grew up? I said no." Yukito looked up from doing the dishes, startled, as Li trailed Touya into the galley, and Touya nudged him aside to wash his hands.
"Why so afraid?" Li pressed, ready to try anything if it would just get the captain talking.
"Don't know what you're talking about."
"Then why won't you go anywhere near it?" Angrily Touya swiped the dishtowel out of Yukito's hands to dry his own.
"What did I say about asking a lot of questions? You are the passenger, I am the captain, and if I say we're not going to D.C. then we're not going to goddamn D.C. Do you understand me?" Li seethed but did not reply, furiously trying to get his temper under control. This was a bad idea, he'd known it from the start, and now he was only making things worse. But he had to buy more time to stay on this ship.
"Look, I helped you out yesterday. I didn't have to. Can you help me, please? Just this one thing?" Touya's glower only darkened at the mention of the Partine incident, but before he could reply he made eye contact with Yukito and hesitated. The pilot was pleading silently, asking him to be reasonable, and Li didn't dare say anything that would interrupt the unspoken appeal. He'd already figured out that the lover was the only one the captain would even think about listening to, this might be his best chance.
The tense silence was broken by Sakura, who pranced into the galley with her arms open wide in expectation.
"Goodnight kiss!"
Touya's scowl lightened a fraction and he half-turned in preparation to receive Sakura. But Sakura never even looked at her brother as she flew right past him and threw herself on Li.
Who froze.
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Peacewish: Toldja