"No way Harry! You mean that the dementors are after your godfather who happens to be a mass murderer slash lunatic with very cool hair and that Luperman was one of your dads friends?" Harry looked up at Ron, who was sitting cross legged next to him in the Gryffindor Common Room, and staring with a disjointed expression.
"Uh, Ron..?" Ron muttered something that sounded very much like 'Bloody hell' and left for the boys dorms. Hermione was sitting behind Harry playing with her necklace and looking like shed been drinking too much caffeine.
"Harry Harry Harry there must be something Ron with wrong, I mean wrong with Ron hes acting quite strange don't you think? Uhh..." Her eyelids drooped and she stared dumbly at him. Harry shrugged, pleased that she'd shut up. Maybe Ron had a premonition, he thought. But nah, that was too far fetched. A thundering sound came from the stairwell
"BLOODY HELL!! Were late for like, three lessons!! Were so retarded!!" Ron practically flung himself across the threshold and out through the portrait.
"Oh yeah, we've got Luperman for Defense. See you there." Hermione whipped her necklace out and disappeared.
"Thats strange, I could have sworn she was there a second ago... She must have gone with Ron..." Harry got up and walked casually out of the door. He is the Boy Who Lived, of course.
As Harry entered the classroom, he thought it was more of a photo shoot than anything. Parvati and Lavender were jabbering about how they were going to sell their photos on M-bay, and Luperman was sitting at the front, flexing his muscles. He hadn't seen fit to put his robes back on, and a lot of the girls were ogling the spandex.
"As I'm sure YOU KNOW," he said, pointing at the class as a person, "I am the one, the only, LUPERMAN!!! And Harry here will tell you how great I am. He may have DIED, if it was not for LUPERMAN!!!!" The class sat, now in mutual disgust and sympathy for Harry. He buried his head in his hands.
"NOW! I will set you against one of the most DANGEROUS, the most ELUSIVE and the most MYSTERIOUS of mythical beasts! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you- THE BOGGART!!!!" he kicked open a wooden chest, trying to hide the type of grimace only brought on by sore toes. Two little eyes poked out from the rim of the box, and ducked back.
"It is preparing its ATTACK!!!!!!" They sat. Luperman stared at the box for several minutes. Nothing happened.
"Uuuuuuuhh, its GONE!!! DEFEATED, by LUPERMAN!!!!!!!" They looked at him with hatred.
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered to Harry, "I'd rather have Lockhart than this stupid prick."