Sorry it has taken me so long to update! I went to my grandparent's house and they have dial up Internet and I couldn't do anything!! I was so mad! Anyway I am writing now... hahaha but please if you guys have any ideas for chapters or anything let me know! I am running out of ideas! Hahaha Sorry if the chapter isn't as good. I am writing in a hurry... Please Review!
"May I help you gentlemen?" Annie asked looking at the 3 boys and Whitey.
"Yes... We are looking for 3 girls..."
"Please tell me that you are here to take those 3 retched girls home" Annie said shaking her head.
"You are beautiful" Tim said grabbing Annie's hand and kissing it.
"Tim... Dude... She is like Whitey's age! That's just wrong!" Lucas said disgusted. Only Tim would find this woman attractive.
"I don't care man! It's not about age... I think I am in love"
"Aw... you're a sweet boy" Annie said pinching his cheeks.
"Uh can you take us to the girls?" Nathan asked not wanting to watch anymore of this.
"Yes, of course... You will be taking them back home, right?"
They followed the loud Music to the garage to find Brooke and Cecelia sending looks that could kill to each other.
"Alright skipper... Lets get this thingy started!" Brooke said keeping a taking another sip of her drink.
"Wait!" Nathan yelled stopping the girls.
"What?" Brooke yelled back annoyed too drunk to know it was Nathan.
"You 2 cant fight yet... Wait like 3 minutes while I go and get the chocolate syrup and my camera! You 2 strip while I go" Nathan said starting towards his car.
"Hold it right their Pee Wee..." Haley said crossing her arms and tapping her foot.
"Oh Honey, sweetheart, I didn't see you there...Tim dared me!"
"Uh huh... Yea where is good old Tim?" Haley asked looking around.
"He's right..." Nathan started pointing to his side but Tim wasn't there.
"Please tell me that's not him skipping towards Annie with flowers..." Peyton laughed.
But it was. There was Tim frolic ling across Annie's garden with a bouquet of what looked like weeds.
"Looks like Tim got some bad crack" Peyton laughed
"Ok enough! Me and Brittany here have a score to settle!" Brooke said trying to keep her balance.
"I'm more of a Jessica fan thank you! Alright bring it!"
Just as Brooke was going to swing at Cecelia Lucas ran over and grabbed her hands.
"Brooke... Your drunk... Don't do this"
"Look Broody, I do everything important drunk... Remember?" Brooke said struggling to get free.
"Yes I know but Brooke... Is that ugly Aaron Carter wanna be worth it? He's probably like a dead fish anyway, if you know what I mean" Lucas said trying to persuade Brooke not to fight.
"Hey man... Your one to talk! It looks like someone went over your hair with a lawnmower. Besides... Jesse McCartney is way cooler than Aaron Carter." Simon said walking over to Lucas
"Oh sorry dude.... Jesse's dead" Jordan said walking down the stairs.
"Yea... we kinda killed him." Deanna laughed.
"Dee! Now we're going to get busted!"
"No we wont! They don't know where we put the body!" Deanna said with a sly grin
"Your right... They'd never think to look in our trunk!" Jordan blurted out.
"So... Is it you want to be just like this Jesse dude, or could there be feelings for him?" Lucas asked provoking Simon.
"Oh goody! Me and defective Barbie over here against Broody and Jesse lover! This is great!" Brooke giggled in excitement.
"Brooke... See Crack head and I here aren't going to fight... we are going to settle this like mature men" Lucas said trying to show Brooke that fighting wasn't the answer...
"Right... well doesn't that mean there has to be a mature man or mans here or something?" Brooke asked confused falling all over Lucas.
"You know what? I agree with Brooke" Cecelia said pulling Simon away from Lucas.
"Shut up Skanky whore... My old boyfriend is going to kick your boyfriends ass." Brooke giggled.
"Brooke... No... I'm not gonna fight him..." Lucas said as Brooke pushed him towards Simon who was already in fighting position.
"Lucas... come on! He's nothing but a mommies boy who has a drag queen as a girlfriend... if you fight him I will do anything you want me too..." Brooke whined.
"Fine..." Lucas caved
"Yay!! And you have to do it naked!" Brooke said pulling off his shirt.
"Brooke! Are you jacked up on weed or something?"
"Ha! See poodle girl! My ex is gonna win and not only that he's gonna look good doing it too!" Brooke giggled clapping her hands and collapsing into Lucas's arms.
"Nathan... A little help here" Lucas said motioning for him to come and get a very wobbly Brooke.
"Alright, I will fight you" Simon said looking nervous.
"But here's the thing... I, I don't know the rules."
"You have to be kidding me? I awear this place is like Brady land! There are no rules...well ok one rule...the loser has to run naked through your house and then dress up in drag and lay Whitey" Lucas said feeling pretty confidante that he was going to win.
"Wait... who is whitey?" Simon asked.
"She is a hott stripper who loves men in drag..." Nathan said joining in on the fun. If only Tim were here.
"Deal..." Simon smiled
"I always knew Whitey was a stripper, I bet he's pretty good too" Brooke said squirming around in Nathan's arms.
"All right... Lets get started then" Lucas said trying to contain his laughter.
Tim walked up to the front porch where Annie was talking to herself.
"Hello there" Tim said handing her the flowers.
"Hello" Annie said shyly.
"So what do you say you and I go and shake your head board like it's never been shaken before?" Tim said
"Excuse me!" Annie yelled
"Um, Um, Wha, What I mean is I thought maybe you would like some help cleaning your head board because it might be dirty?" Tim said seeing that she wasn't into the whole sex thing yet.
"Oh, Good Heavens I am sorry, I have to say with those 3 girls here... They have gotten my mind a little crazy" Annie laughed putting her hand on Tim's leg.
"Yes... Those girls are very naughty..." Tim said...while imagining all three of them naked
"Me, I have never been with anyone or even thought about it... I am waiting for the perfect woman" Tim lied
"Your such a sweet boy. Maybe everyone should take a little advice from you" Annie said smiling and pinching his cheeks.
"Yes, I have to agree with you. I mean church is my life, and god, what is a person without those 2 things?"
"Your right... What is your favorite bible verse?" Annie asked excitedly.
"Uh, Uh, Thought shall not... uh... Thought shall not be a skank... You know I have too many to name... Maybe we should go get something to drink and discuss this more" Tim said getting antsy.
"Yes... lets do that"
"Round 1: Lucas "Broody" Scott vs. Simon "Mama's boy, drag queen, goody, goody, Jesse loving, but still hott" Cam something." Brooke announced into the ladle like it was a microphone.
"Me... I'll be your host Brookie! Along with Tutor girl and Goldilocks here as my side hicks" She sang into it again.
"Alright Brooke... No more fuzzy navels for you!" Peyton said taking her drink away.
"Your just jealous because Broody boy is fighting for me and not you..."
"Maybe Lucas will loose and we will get to see him in drag doing it with Whitey!" Nathan laughed
"Nathan!" Haley screeched.
"Hey whose side are you on bozo? Ok now for the fffight... Round 2 will be me... Your beautiful host vs. Slut monkey over there! We all know who is gonna win that one" Brooke giggled.
"We all know who isn't going to remember that one either" Nathan said patting Brooke on the head.
"Natey! I know tinker belle here isn't giving you any but I have eyes for another man or mans... I don't know yet... ouch... My brain hurts Peyton... I think I have been thinking too much" Brooke whined laying her head on Peyton.
"Alright man... First one down loses..." Lucas said putting his arms up.
"Wait... Maybe I should call my family to watch... I mean they have seen me through all my first, like my first lost tooth, and my first girlfriend... Maybe they should be here for this too" Simon said tucking in his shirt.
"Fight already! I am paid good money to see this!" Brooke yelled shaking her fist.
"Fine... Maybe I should fight you..." Simon said pointing to Brooke.
"Dude... She's Brooke... you touch her I will kill you." Lucas said getting madder and madder every second.
"Maybe it would put her out of her miserable life" Cecelia said agreeing with Simon.
"Brooke isn't miserable, She's just mad... mad at the world, and me... I made a mistake... Peyton and I both did. We know that now but Brooke... well her life goal now is to make my life hell... and to worry me to death, but if I kill you then maybe I wont have to deal with that anymore. Besides... it looks like Peyton has found her a man" Lucas said pointing to Peyton who was making out with Martin.
"Well then... Let me just pray for a second and we can start this" Simon said putting his hands together.
"Give me a L! Give me a U! Give me a uh... Peyton what comes after U?" Brooke asked trying to cheer for Lucas but not remembering how to spell his name.
"Take off your pants! Oh well... 1, 2, 3, go!" Brooke yelled giggling elbowing Nathan in the crotch
"Son of a!" Nathan started but Haley covered his mouth.
"Brooke, watch where you are putting your elbow! You are going to give my future children brain damage!"
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Tim gushed over Annie.
"Thank you Timmy! You are handsome yourself."
"So you must be pretty damn good in bed" Tim said stroking her hair.
"Pardon me?"
"I, I mean making the bed.... Woman I give up lets just go and have sex!" Tim said throwing the bible down on the floor
"Timothy! I am a married woman! Not to mention that I could be your mother and we are not married"
"Fine then... Annie... will you marry me?" Tim asked dropping down on one knee and taking her hand.
"What?" Annie asked shocked.
"You are the woman of my dreams... I love you! I want to have your babies!" Tim gushed.
"Tim... I am already married to a man I love very much." Annie said patting him on the head.
"He's not me! I can rock your world! I could give you anything you ever wanted!"
Lucas swung at Simon's jaw smashing him down on the ground.
"Oh! That hurt! Oh My Goodness! I am bleeding! Call an ambulance" Simon yelled in pain.
"Do you give up?" Lucas asked giving him a hand.
"Yes..." Simon cried.
"Alright then, Hales go into that old ladies closet and find the most girlish dress and hair stuff you can. Simon here has to lay Whitey! Me... I need a drink... Hey Cheery! Throw me that beer" Lucas said all excited. He was disappointed that the fight hadn't lasted longer but at least he didn't have to lay Whitey.
"But Luke... I wanna see Brooke kick the tar out of Cecelia!" Haley whined.
"Fine... but after that" Lucas said helping Brooke over to Cecelia.
"YAY! Alright Hussy Headed Hyena... Now its you and me... and guess what... Right now I can't feel a thing." Brooke said wobbling over to Cecelia.
"What does the loser have to do?"
"You mean what are you going to have to do? Hmm I know! You have to go downtown dressed as a hooker and offer to lay a woman!" Brooke giggled.
"Right... well it looks like your gonna have to do that sweetheart because I can at least stand on my own with out Lawnmower boy there."
"His name is...Broody! And he kicked your boyfriends ass... and you know what? He can kick yours too" Brooke said pushing Lucas in front of her.
"He wouldn't hit a girl"
"The only girl I see around here is your little boyfriend boy who is crying in the corner" Brooke said pointing to Simon.
"Start the chick fight already!" Nathan yelled
"Nathan!"
All right... here are the rules... first one down loses, and not hitting to the face... I'm way to pretty to get scared by you" Brooke said regaining her balance. Her buzz was starting to wear off some. She wasn't quite sure if this was a good thing or not.
"Fine..."
"Go!" Nathan whined
"Oh My God! Simon put that thing back in your pants!" Brooke yelled looking behind Cecelia.
"What?" Cecelia asked turning around. As soon as she was around Brooke slapped her almost knocking her too her knees. Then there was the sound of sirens.
"This is the police! Everybody stay where you are!" A voice said over the intercom.
"YAY! Our party is so awesome the police want to party too!" Brooke laughed grabbing Lucas's hand and pulling him into the backyard.
"Brooke...where are we going?"
"Lucas... if you haven't noticed we're 16... I am getting the hell out of there... and you... well you probably don't want that detective to see you and I together"
"Excuse me... We are looking for 2 young ladies by the names of Jordan and Deanna... We have a warrant for their arrest" The detective said catching Brooke before she made it out.
"Right... They were here but they said something about going to Mexico... and then they left"
"Right...and Brooke... You might want to clear this party out... You and I are going to pretend that I didn't smell the beer on your breath and pray to god you are using condoms. I am going to search for those girls... when I come back in 20 minutes I expect most everyone to be gone." The detective said tipping his hat.
"Right... sure thing, Dad"
Spoilers: Will Whitey like his "Woman"? Will Annie say yes to Tim? Will this story be a Brucas? Will Peyton end up with Martin? Will Haley and Nathan do it? What's up with the whole dad thing? Find out next chapter! I set a record with this chapter! I finished it in 1 hour! Go me! Sorry if it wasn't that funny... I will research funny lines next chapter... Please Review!