AU. Takes place many years into the future. Xander and Anya are married. Xander screws up big time with Anya. What does he do to gain her forgiveness? Humor/Fluff.
"Hello, gorgeous."
"Xander, you're holding shopping bags. Have you bought me something, my adoring husband?" Anya's eyes widened with pleasure.
"No, nothing for you... yet. I did buy something for the baby, though."
She frowns, "I see. You bought a gift for something that isn't even in this world yet. What about me!? I'm your friggin' wife." She punches him lightly on his shoulder.
"I will. I'm still thinking 'bout what to get you. You're so impatient, Ahn."
"Damn right I am. Whatever you get me, it better be really good and really soon."
Xander smiles, "Cross my heart and swear to die."
"So let's see Junior's present," she pats her stomach.
"No. I'm not sure that's such a good idea."
"Why not?"
"It's no big deal."
"Oh, okay. I'll just go watch some T.V. then." On her way, passing by Xander, she snatches the bag out of his hands.
"Haha! Gotcha."
"You're a deceitful little devil, Anya."
"Don't I know it," she confirms with a smirk on her lips.
"Anya, I'm warning you for your own good to not open that bag."
She undoes the knot of the bag, and removes the item, holding it up it front of her. "So we meet again."
"Huh?" Xander replies.
"How could you bring a rabbit into the house, Xander?! What, are you trying to kill me, and with it, hurt your offspring?"
"Anya, it's a stuffed animal."
"Oh, I know all-too-well. Bops, is it? Bums? Bam?"
"Bugs, Ahn. Bugs Bunny."
She stares straight into the artificial eyes of Bugs Bunny. "You've haunted me for decades; ever since your Hollywood premiere in 1940."
"Ahn, honey, please don't go all ballistic. It's just a stuffed bunny. It's not real."
"Xander, look at it. With its floppy ears, and its orange nose, and stupid buck teeth. That's it, it must be burned. Where are the matches?"
"Anya –"
"Found them. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be outside watching the king of bunnies suffer upon the unbearable torments of fire. Oh, and by the way, I've very disappointed that you of all people brought a bunny within five feet of me."
"It was for the baby! It's snuggly and soft. Its only purpose is to be hugged."
"Not under my roof!"
"Ahn – it's not gonna take over the world and kill you in your sleep."
She giggles, "Of course it won't, silly Xander. I'm going to annihilate it. It can't
harm us when it's dead."
"It wasn't even alive to begin with!" Xander shouts after his wife as she walks out
the door, into the backyard. Xander's eyes follow her in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, okay," Xander approaches irritable Anya, later that night.
"What I don't understand, is why you would try to hurt your wife and child with such a thing."
"What can I say? I'm an idiot."
"Yes, you certainly are," she acquiesces, still not accepting Xander's apology.
"I got you something," he whispers in her ear, nibbling on it.
"What is it this time, Peter Rabbit?" she grimaces.
"Close your eyes."
She breathes in heavily, but does as she's told. She hears rustling and crackling, but doesn't figure out what the surprise is.
"Okay, open them," Xander orders.
She slowly pulls her eyelids up. Her sudden smile cannot be described in a thousand words.
"It's money!"
"Yeah. There's more."
"More money?" she asks, grinning.
"No... I meant, look closely at the money."
Xander handed the twenty dollar bills to Anya.
She gasps. She truly does. "This is the old kind of bills. The ones without the multi-colors on them. Just green... pure emerald! The true classic form of capitalism."
"Yep. I know how much you hated the new kind of bills... so," he sits down beside her, "I'm sorry."
"Oh, Xander Harris, I love you dearly," she throws her arms around his neck.
Xander Harris' wife loathes bunnies, loves money, and scares him immensely sometimes. God, he's the luckiest guy in the whole world...
PS - For anyone who hasn't seen the new 20 dollar bills, the only difference is that there are no longer ALL green. I figured something like that would tick Anya off a bit. Please feel free to post reviews whether they are complimentary or critical.