AN: I'm pretty behind, so please bear with me while I get up to date. Starts with the episode when Carter pays Abby's med-school fees, and she goes off with random biker dude. (Abby normal?)

DISCLAIMER: Turns out adoption processes are pretty slow these days. Vague plans in the works for an abduction, but obviously I can't disclose them. So they're still not mine, yet.

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Abby wondered what he was feeling, as he watched her ride away on the back of Jake's bike. Nothing? Anything? Jealousy? Amusement? Surprise? All of these things? None of these things? She was surprised to find she was still thinking about it when they reached his apartment.

This was going to be a tricky one. On all of her previous dates she'd been driving, providing her with an obvious excuse for not drinking; this time she was going to have to explain.

But as he held out the glass of wine to her, she just said, 'I don't drink,' apologetically, and he smiled and said, 'You mind if I do?' And Abby shook her head silently, and thought about how Carter would never have drunk in front of her. But she caught herself and returned her thoughts to the present. Jake wasn't Carter, but he was fairly good as rebound guys went, she thought. It was nothing serious. They'd met at med. school, and he was quite a lot younger than her (ok, over ten years) and still at the age where nothing really mattered; he could afford to take time to make mistakes and start over. He made her laugh, the sex was good, and she thought he was rather proud to have an older woman on his arm. The arrangement suited both of them.

Abby sniffed. A strong smell of burning reached her nostrils, and seconds later the smoke alarm went off. 'Shit. I better check on the food. Make yourself comfortable.' Abby caught the tail end of a stream of expletives as she settled herself into the couch. 'Mom promised I couldn't go wrong with this recipe.' Abby laughed. Jake didn't. 'Don't worry about it. We can just get take out or something. I wasn't that hungry anyway.' 'You're sure you don't mind?' 'Seriously, it's fine.' He sighed, sitting down next to her. 'I had it all planned out. It was going to be perfect.' 'It's ok. I'm sure we can just skip dinner,' she said leaning in to kiss him. She could taste the alcohol on his lips, and pulled away momentarily. 'Something wrong?' he asked. 'No, nothing's wrong. Nothing at all,' and she hurriedly returned her mouth to his, lest she should wound his already dented pride. She knew she shouldn't be testing herself like this. That was the first time she'd tasted alcohol since...well, since her brother had disappeared, and Carter had been away in Belize, but had come home for her. But she was stronger now, she thought. Still, she was glad she'd told Jake she didn't drink, because she thought it quite likely that if she hadn't she may well have found herself asking for a glass of wine.

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Abby lay, staring at the ceiling in Jake's cramped bed. They were definitely going back to her place next time. Mind you, that was what she had said last time, and the time before that. She idly picked paint off the wall she was jammed against. On her other side was jake's back, which still retained some of his teenage spots. What the hell was she putting herself through this for? Sure, it was fun sometimes, but right now she longed for the comfort of her own home, and wished she'd brought her car. Of course, there was the El, but that was a bit hard on Jake, wasn't it? But she'd already climbed over him and almost reached the door. She looked guiltily over her shoulder at his gently snoring body, quickly scribbling on a piece of paper 'sorry, had to take a shift, Abby xxx'

She glanced at the open wine bottle on her way out. Even wavered in her passage to the door, but she made it and closed the door, relieved and irrationally proud of herself.

She was still felt slightly guilty about Jake on the train, but her guilt was quickly dissipated as she crawled under her own duvet, and she knew that she would never be able to bring Jake back here. This was her haven. And besides, it held too many memories. No matter how hard she tried to pretend to herself, she knew she wasn't ready to replace Carter yet.

She would call Jake in the morning and tell him she didn't think they were going to work out.

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please review!...I know nothing's really happened yet, but I'm sure it will...one day!