Only in America: Skinner's Story

A TPDoEQ special edition

by Lady Norbert

3 May 1900

We all overslept some today; in fact, the rest of the League was still in bed when I dressed and left the hotel. That was good, because it meant I didn't have to try and explain where I was going. First, though, I had to sneak into Bess's room and steal her glove; I hope she never, ever finds out that I did that, because she'd be plenty embarrassed to know I was there while she was asleep. But how else was I going to get the right size?

There's only one store in this little town that even sells jewellery, so about an hour before lunchtime, I made my way there. I didn't have a whole lot of money, but I thought maybe I could find something. Bess isn't much on jewels anyway; I know she has a fair few she inherited from her mum, but she hardly ever wears them.

The shopkeep seemed a little amused by how uneasy I was, but I guess he gets that all the time. She liked Mina's ring, so I decided to try to find something sort of like that.

"Smart of you to bring the glove," the shopkeeper commented. "Most fellows don't think that far ahead, half the time they have to get the rings resized."

He helped me find a ring that was a little less than the amount I had on me. Plain gold band, with five tiny round diamonds in a row. Small, but pretty. It would suit her.

I handed over my cash, and the shopkeep put the ring in a little box I could carry in my pocket. "Good luck," he said, winking.

Much to my sincere annoyance, I bumped into none other than Everett as I left the store. "Good morning, Mr. Skinner," he said, cool as anything.

"Morning." I put my hands in my pockets, and felt the ring box there. He gave me a very strange look, then pushed past me into the store. Didn't quite know how to take that look, actually; it was like he knew what I'd just done.

I got back to the hotel just as the others were eating lunch. "Where've you been?" Tom asked.

"Had an errand to run," I told him, as casually as possible. He, Henry and Mina all looked at me and at each other, sort of grinning; Bess looked confused.

When he was done eating, Tom came over to me. "When're you planning to do it?"

"Um...tonight, I guess. After dinner. I need to think about what I'm gonna say, though, so can you kind of keep her busy?"

"Leave it to me."

Tom took Bess off to visit his friend Becky, so she didn't get to ask me any questions about where I'd been or what I was doing. I went up to my room. I wasn't hungry; I was nervous as hell. Never done this before, of course, and never really thought I ever would. I mean, if you think about it, it's kind of laughable. I could picture some scrawny newsboy back in London, hawking a paper.

"Extra, extra, read all about it! Invisible man gets married! Nobody knows what the bride sees in him!"

Ha. Ha. Good one, Skinner. What the bride sees in him...well, at least you've still got your sense of humour.

So how was I supposed to do this? I considered, briefly, asking Henry how he'd proposed to Mina; but that wasn't really the same. Mina'd known for quite some time how Henry felt about her – of course, anybody with eyes knew how Henry felt about her. I had to first tell Bess what was going on in my head, before I could get round to any business on one knee. And that was assuming she seemed like she was okay with the idea. Most girls, I'd wager, would not be precisely comfortable accepting overtures from a man they couldn't really see.

Not that Bess is most girls, but still.

I don't know precisely why, but suddenly I found myself wondering what Allan'd have to say about the situation. How would he have reacted, if I'd been able to go to him first?

"So...Allan, old mate...er, about your daughter. Could you see your way clear to letting her marry me?

"Over my dead body, Skinner."

"Well, technically..."

I shook my head. Obviously, I was losing my mind.

The only thing to do, I decided, was to just...do it. I'd just have to sit her down and give it to her straight. She wasn't stupid; the ball had to have at least given her a clue.

Okay. Right. Here's the thing, Bess. I've just...these last few months have been really...oh, hell. I'm completely mad about you. Don't know how that happened, don't even know why it happened, but there you are. You're the most important thing to me in the entire bloody world and I need to know if there's a chance in hell you feel the same way about me.

That might actually work. I gave it some more thought. It probably should have been all polished and grand, like something in one of her books. But I just don't talk like that, and she knows it. Might scare her.

She's a good girl, and she deserves better than me. But maybe she'd have me anyway.

I went down for tea at the usual hour, and it was all quite normal. Then, just as we were finishing up, in came Mrs. Singer to announce that - oh, joy and rapture - Everett was here to see Bess. She went alone with him into a back parlour, and one of his burly cohorts stood outside the door so nobody could hear what was said.

"The devil's he doing?" Tom muttered. No one knew.

4 May 1900

I think I'm dead.

Bess was alone with that bastard for so long, the rest of us were sitting down to dinner when they finally came out. He more or less pulled her over to the table by her hand, and she told us what they had been discussing.

She's going to marry him.

Everett asked her to marry him and she said yes.

She's going to stay here in St. Petersburg for the rest of her life.

After a few minutes, I kind of stopped listening. Maybe I thought if I weren't listening, I wouldn't hear it, and if I didn't hear it, then it wasn't true. That doesn't seem to have worked, though, because it is.

Once Everett left, Bess went up to her room. It vaguely registered with me that she really ought to have eaten something, but I wasn't thinking clearly enough to say so. I got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Mina asked.

"For a walk."

I didn't have a clue where I was going. I ended up not far from the hotel, near the river, at a spot where Tom said he and his pal Huck used to fish when they were kids. I still had the ring box in my pocket, and I took it out and looked at the diamonds in the moonlight. I was half tempted to throw it in the water, but something stopped me.

"It was a dream," I told myself. "She was just a dream, old boy. Time to wake up again."

I went to the pub, then, and just started drinking. I don't know how long I was there - an hour, two, three? - but by the time Tom showed up, I was pretty soused.

"Skinner, have you been here all this time?"

"Mr. Sawyer," said the barkeeper, "I'm glad you came to get him. He's hammered, and he keeps going on about a girl."

Tom told the barkeep to put my drinks on his tab - he is a mate. Then he pulled me off the stool. "On your feet, Skinner. Let's go, they're worried about you."

"Tom...I lost 'er, Tom. I was too late, he beat me to 'er."

"I know, I know." He was steering me out the door, but I kept babbling.

"S'not right, y'know? I know 'er better. Known 'er longer." We stumbled down the street. "Bess...Bess, what're you doin', lass? He can't love you like I do."

Somehow, he got me back to the hotel, and I passed out on my bed, still muttering. I woke up today when he knocked on my door. He just stood there in the doorway and looked at me; I was sitting on the bed, staring at the floor.

"Do you remember anything about last night?" he asked.

"Unfortunately...I think I remember all of it." My head ached. "Tom, mate, I'm sorry -"

"It never happened," he said, easily. Good lad, he is. Then, more seriously, he said, "Now what are you going to do?"

"Hell if I know."

"Aren't you going to tell her?"

"Tell her what, Tom? Maybe this really is what she wants - a normal life, with a husband she can actually see. Who am I to get in the way of that?" I looked up at him then; I reckoned my eyes were probably bloodshot, but nobody could tell. "If she's happy...it's enough."

"You think she's happy? Because I don't."

I shrugged. "Not for me to tell her how to live her life. If this is what she wants, I want her to have it."

He just looked at me like I was insane. Then he left, and I started searching for aspirin.