A/N YES YES YES! I am back with the third installment of My Own Version of
the Buffyverse! You all have been waiting a whole summer for this and so
have I! Also.. Great episode of Angel. I can't wait to see the next one.
If the spoilers are all correct (which they should be) then I have an idea
on how this story is going to go. So! On with the story!
Chapter 1
Buffy looked over at Angel. They had just gotten back from their honeymoon two days ago. He was slightly tanned, which was really cute. She on the other hand was extremely tan. They were in the elevator heading up to Wolfram and Hart. Last night has sucked for the two because a whole operative team had shown up and ruined their routine patrol. Angel was none too happy.
"Sweetie?" Buffy asked, gently touching his arm.
"I'm ok." Angel responded, giving her a tight smile.
"No, you're not."
"Buffy.."
"I see right through you. And I know what's wrong. I'm not exactly ecstatic about this whole scenario either, but it's what we were dealt. At least we're there with friends, right?"
Angel took her hand and smiled. "I love you."
"I love you." They kissed each other lightly.
The elevator dinged and opened. Buffy turned to go one way, while Angel turned to go the other. He stopped and turned, following Buffy out the other way. Gunn was standing in the lobby with Wesley. He smiled. "You lost, boss?"
"On a lot of levels." Angel said. "Did you hear what happened to us last night?"
"You got lucky?" Gunn winked at Buffy and she whacked him on the stomach. "Ow."
"They put a tracer on me. Buffy and I were working the town, helping the helpless, which is a thing we like to do. All of a sudden, the entire firm shows up in the alley."
"Not a pretty sight." Buffy added.
"We'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Wesley said.
"We're turning this place inside out. If they wanna see how I handle running Wolfram & Hart, they're gonna find out. Everything must go.." Angel opened both doors to walk into his and Buffy's office. He stopped his sentence abruptly and stared at the desk. "Starting with that."
Buffy stared at the young woman wearing a red suit sitting on the edge of her and Angel's desk with her long legs crossed and accentuated as she sat under the accent light. She moved over to Angel and took his hand, ever the jealous wife.
"Hi. It's really neat to see you guys." The woman said.
"I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be mine and Angel's office." Buffy said.
"Never happen again. Just wanted to, you know, see your faces."
"You like to make an entrance." Angel said.
"You always open both doors when you enter a room? I don't need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I'm gonna be your guys' liaison to the firm. I'll help you find your way. My name is Eve. And just so we get the whole irony thing of the way.." She picked up a shiny red apple from the desk and threw it to Angel.
"Who do you answer to?" Buffy asked.
"The senior partners, and if you're both thinking, which, by the way, you are, that you can use me to get to them, let go of the dream. I answer to them. I don't lunch with them."
"Still.. a pretty powerful position for a young woman."
"How exactly can you be sure I'm either of those things? Besides, look at yourself." Eve smiled and stood. "Ok, let me tell you how this works."
"I thought we were in charge."
"Of the Los Angeles offices of a multi-dimensional corporation. Now, I'm stressing that last word because that's what we are. We're a business, and we have a bottom line. Now, you could take your new client list and start hacking away from the top down. A lot of our clients are demons, and.. almost all of them are evil."
"Almost?" Angel asked.
"Things are always more complicated than they seem. You can shut this place down, but.. then.. well, then you wouldn't have it anymore. If the place closes down, the connections dry up. Evil goes next door. This is the catch.. I'm explaining the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients.. most of them, anyway.. happy."
"Means letting them get away with stuff." Gunn said.
"Sweetie, they were getting away with it while you were all sitting around your hotel waiting for the phone to jangle. Well, you're on the ins now, and you can stop the worst of it. Maybe find some new solutions to some old problems. Come on! Isn't anybody excited? This is a crazy time of fun. The most powerful evil around has given a pivotal position over to its sworn enemies. You're not scared, are you?" Angel stared at Eve as he took a bite of the apple with a crisp crunch. "The client files are all in there. You might want to start going through 'em." Eve started to leave. "Hope you had a nice trip, cause the honeymoon's over." With that she was gone.
"I really don't like her." Buffy said.
"Why not? She was only invading your office, giving your husband the lusty eye, and putting you down in her conversation undertones." Gunn said.
"All of the above. Plus, there's something off about her."
"She works with the Senior Partners. Everything's off about her." Wesley said.
"Good point."
"You could always fire her." Gunn said.
"Actually.. I have a funny feeling none of us can." Buffy looked at Angel.
________________________________________________________________________
Later that night.. As in WAY later that night, Buffy, Angel, Dawn, Lorne, Fred, Wesley, and Gunn were sitting around the conference table going through files. The table was full of papers and file folders and they were all exhausted. Buffy had given up and curled up in the chair, falling asleep against Gunn.
"This is unbelievable." Angel said.
"I think I've lost my appetite, which is kind of a first." Fred said.
"Ditto." Dawn said.
"Hmm, well, this is interesting. Apparently old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm." Lorne said.
"That explains a lot." Angel said.
"Yeah, but George, Senior.. he read the fine print. There's no one these guys don't have a piece of."
"How are we even supposed to start making things right?" Angel tossed a file on the table, startling Buffy awake. "Sorry honey."
"It's ok. I was barely asleep anyway." Buffy said. "What'd I miss?"
"Not a damn thing."
"Here's a winner: Corbin Fries." Gunn said. "On trial for smuggling Asian girls in for cheap labor and prostitution. Been charged with drugs, gun running, nothing stuck."
"And that's one of our human clients." Wesley said.
"Looks like the trial's not going too well this time."
"Hmm, first good news all day." Angel said.
"I can't even remember which pile is which." Gunn said.
"I'll get our secretary to go through it in the morning."
"Do we have a secretary?" Buffy asked.
"I imagine they'll find you someone who can stomach the idea of working for the side of the righteous." Wesley said.
"My impression is a lot of these guys are just opportunistic. They'll go with the flow." Gunn said.
"You know we're gonna have to check the whole staff, make sure we don't have any die-hard evildoers plotting against us." Buffy said.
"And here I was, worrying about the clients." Wesley said.
"We're doing the right thing.. right?" Angel asked.
"Well, uh.. We're doing it tomorrow, exalted one. My horns are falling asleep." Lorne said.
"Yeah. You guys go get some rest."
"What about you?" Buffy asked.
"I'll work a while yet. Go on." He kissed Buffy lightly.
"Nah, I'll stay."
"But you were asleep not ten minutes ago."
"My eyes hurt. I was just resting them." Her tone had that "not taking no for an answer" tone to it, so Angel dropped it. "Gunn, you'll make sure Dawn is safe at home, right?"
"You know it." Gunn said.
"Night Buffy. Night Angel." Dawn said, giving each of them a hug and Buffy a kiss on the cheek.
________________________________________________________________________
The next morning, Buffy and Angel had showered and changed and headed straight back for work. Buffy was in expensive designer jeans and a crisp, white, button down top with a black, V-neck sweater over it. Angel was in black pants and a burgundy, pinstripe shirt. She had her feet on the desk, still looking through files with Angel.
Buffy set it down. "I need caffeine."
"I think I do too." Angel said as he picked up an envelope that was mailed to Buffy. He handed it to her, but she put it aside without opening it. Angel pressed a button on the phone. "Um.. can I get a cup of coffee or something?"
"You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say 'goats.'" The phone said.
Angel looked at Buffy and then hastily pressed the button, paused, and then tried again by pressing a different button. "Hello?"
"This is Buffy and Angel's office. How can I help you?" A woman asked.
"This is Angel."
"No, this is his new assistant."
"No, this is Angel."
"Are you sure?"
Angel glanced at Buffy. "Less and less." She smiled. "Can I get two cups of coffee? Or if there's blood.."
"Oh! Right away."
Angel pressed the button to hang up, but he switched to the previous line. "To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound.." Angel hastily pressed the button to hang up, holding it down longer this time. He stared at the phone, disgusted for a moment. Buffy laughed and he shot a glare at her then went back to his papers. The phone rang and this time Buffy answered it on the speakerphone.
"Hello?" She asked.
"It's Wesley. Can I stop in? We might be into a situation."
"Uh, sure. Come on by." Buffy hung up and glanced at Angel as he took the mug from the secretary. Then she glanced at the secretary and did a double take. "Harmony!?" Angel swallowed his blood hard.
"Hey Buffy. Angel." Harmony said with a smile.
"You're our secretary?" Buffy asked with slight horror in her voice.
"Hello! Assistant."
"Explain why I shouldn't kill you."
"Secretary's fine."
"No, it's not fine. Where is it fine? You've been working here?"
"Yeah-huh."
"Why?" Angel asked, moving to stand in front of Buffy.
"Well, duh! I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city.. I have to start somewhere. And they're evil here, they don't judge. They've got the necrotempered glass.. no burning up.. a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us?"
"This is bizarre." Buffy said.
"Now, before you go threatening to fire me.."
"I threatened to kill you."
"Don't let's quibble. Before anything, just think.. I'm strong, I'm quick, I'm incredibly sycophantic.. if that means what that guy said.. and I type like a superhero.. if there was a superhero whose power was typing. And, hey, we keep the same hours. Creatures of the night.. And Slayer.. unite." Buffy scoffed as Harmony handed Angel his mug again. "How do you like your blood?"
"Tell me that's not.." Angel started.
"It's pig's blood. I'm totally off the human blood. That's not even a thing."
"It tastes.."
"Pretty good, right? The extra ingredient is otter. How's Dawn by the way?"
Buffy stared at Harmony, ready to kill her. Angel jumped in front of Buffy. "She's at school."
"Wow. Go her."
Buffy was thankful when Wesley knocked, opened the door, and walked in. "It's one of our cases. It's becoming problematic." He nodded to Harmony. "Harmony."
"Hey, Wes." Harmony said.
"You knew that she was.." Buffy asked incredulously.
"Wes is the one that picked me out of the steno pool."
"But why.."
"Well, I thought a familiar face would be just the thing in a place like this." Wesley said.
"You turned evil a lot faster than I thought you would."
"Nonsense."
"We're gonna get along great, guys." Harmony said. "The whole gang. I mean, Cordy is gonna lose it when she finds out.." She noticed that Buffy, Angel, and Wesley were frowning. "I mean.. you are gonna tell her you're ok with this, right? I mean, I know she was mad at me for trying to kill you all, but she wouldn't.. I mean.."
"I thought she knew." Wesley said apologetically.
"Cordy's sick. She's in a coma." Buffy said sadly.
"Oh. God, I.. I didn't.. What happened? Is she gonna be ok?" Harmony asked.
"We don't know."
"Cordy was my best friend, like.. my whole life. She's my role model. How can she.." Harmony breathed deeply, then was chipper again. "So, anyway, I really think you should not fire me, and Wes does, too."
"Harmony, would you ask the men in my office to join us, please?" Wesley asked.
"Righty-ho." She left.
"If there's a way to help Cordelia, we will find it."
"What's the case?" Buffy asked, ready to get off the subject of Cordelia. She had been a friend, but she had also turned evil and in turn turned Buffy and Angel evil and used Connor to get Jasmine out into the world and pretty much destroyed Buffy and Angel's little family and total happiness. She didn't want to dwell.
Wesley handed Angel a folder. "Corbin Fries. The lowest piece of pond scum I've met in, oh, hours. He's about to get 20 years for kidnapping, pimping.."
"We saw the file." Angel said, handing it back to Wes.
"Yeah, well, personally, I think he deserves to be eaten by weasels, but he's hinting we'd best help him. Threatening, actually."
The door opened and Angel turned to look. "Mr. Fries."
"Mr. Fries, this is Angel and Buffy." Harmony said.
"I've been bringing them up to speed on your case." Wesley said.
"Terrific." Fries said flatly.
"Desmond Keel." The lawyer said to Buffy and Angel, shaking their hands.
"One of ours." Wesley informed.
"Nice to meet you." Buffy said.
"I've heard, uh, things." Keel said.
"Would anybody like coffee?" Harmony asked.
"Oh, yeah, let's all chit-chat and have tea and crumpets 'cause I got so much time." Fries said. "Here's the skinny: Tomorrow the D.A. puts my tit in a wringer for good and all, and that.. does not stand with me. Butt- munch here, he got his law degree at dog training school, and the prosecution has everything they've ever dreamed of."
"Because you're guilty." Angel said.
"Of course I'm guilty. What the hell are you changin' the subject for? The point is, when Holland Manners was running things, this would've never got to trial. Now, I bring a lot of money into this firm, more than most, and I don't do that so I can be handed over to the frickin' law. You gotta get me off."
"It's strange, my lack of incentive."
"You think I give a ferret's anus about your new regime here? Yeah, I know who you are, and I care to the sum of zero. You're my lawyers. And if you don't do every last thing to keep me out of jail, you will regret it."
"Well, we can't dance around this one." Keel said. "We're not in a position to have anyone killed. Not that we would. And the jury's, uh, tamper- proof. Literally. I think one of the D.A.'s shamans has conjured a mystical shield around them."
"So this one has to be won on the merits of the case." Buffy said.
"Now, we have top men on this.."
"Who are doing jack! I am not gonna be made an example of. Either you get me off tomorrow.." Fries said, checking Buffy out while he said it.
"I think you should calm down and gets your eyes off of my wife." Angel said.
"To hell with calm down and I'll check out that fine package of ass anytime I want. Either you get me off, or I drop the bomb."
"Bomb?" Buffy asked, her face flushed and fists shaking with anger.
"Let me put it this way: If they bring in a conviction, bye-bye, California. I say the magic word, the only people left standing are gonna be the ones that are already dead."
"Oh, well, that's a relief." Harmony said. "I mean.. Hey!"
Chapter 1
Buffy looked over at Angel. They had just gotten back from their honeymoon two days ago. He was slightly tanned, which was really cute. She on the other hand was extremely tan. They were in the elevator heading up to Wolfram and Hart. Last night has sucked for the two because a whole operative team had shown up and ruined their routine patrol. Angel was none too happy.
"Sweetie?" Buffy asked, gently touching his arm.
"I'm ok." Angel responded, giving her a tight smile.
"No, you're not."
"Buffy.."
"I see right through you. And I know what's wrong. I'm not exactly ecstatic about this whole scenario either, but it's what we were dealt. At least we're there with friends, right?"
Angel took her hand and smiled. "I love you."
"I love you." They kissed each other lightly.
The elevator dinged and opened. Buffy turned to go one way, while Angel turned to go the other. He stopped and turned, following Buffy out the other way. Gunn was standing in the lobby with Wesley. He smiled. "You lost, boss?"
"On a lot of levels." Angel said. "Did you hear what happened to us last night?"
"You got lucky?" Gunn winked at Buffy and she whacked him on the stomach. "Ow."
"They put a tracer on me. Buffy and I were working the town, helping the helpless, which is a thing we like to do. All of a sudden, the entire firm shows up in the alley."
"Not a pretty sight." Buffy added.
"We'll make sure it doesn't happen again." Wesley said.
"We're turning this place inside out. If they wanna see how I handle running Wolfram & Hart, they're gonna find out. Everything must go.." Angel opened both doors to walk into his and Buffy's office. He stopped his sentence abruptly and stared at the desk. "Starting with that."
Buffy stared at the young woman wearing a red suit sitting on the edge of her and Angel's desk with her long legs crossed and accentuated as she sat under the accent light. She moved over to Angel and took his hand, ever the jealous wife.
"Hi. It's really neat to see you guys." The woman said.
"I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be mine and Angel's office." Buffy said.
"Never happen again. Just wanted to, you know, see your faces."
"You like to make an entrance." Angel said.
"You always open both doors when you enter a room? I don't need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I'm gonna be your guys' liaison to the firm. I'll help you find your way. My name is Eve. And just so we get the whole irony thing of the way.." She picked up a shiny red apple from the desk and threw it to Angel.
"Who do you answer to?" Buffy asked.
"The senior partners, and if you're both thinking, which, by the way, you are, that you can use me to get to them, let go of the dream. I answer to them. I don't lunch with them."
"Still.. a pretty powerful position for a young woman."
"How exactly can you be sure I'm either of those things? Besides, look at yourself." Eve smiled and stood. "Ok, let me tell you how this works."
"I thought we were in charge."
"Of the Los Angeles offices of a multi-dimensional corporation. Now, I'm stressing that last word because that's what we are. We're a business, and we have a bottom line. Now, you could take your new client list and start hacking away from the top down. A lot of our clients are demons, and.. almost all of them are evil."
"Almost?" Angel asked.
"Things are always more complicated than they seem. You can shut this place down, but.. then.. well, then you wouldn't have it anymore. If the place closes down, the connections dry up. Evil goes next door. This is the catch.. I'm explaining the catch so you don't have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients.. most of them, anyway.. happy."
"Means letting them get away with stuff." Gunn said.
"Sweetie, they were getting away with it while you were all sitting around your hotel waiting for the phone to jangle. Well, you're on the ins now, and you can stop the worst of it. Maybe find some new solutions to some old problems. Come on! Isn't anybody excited? This is a crazy time of fun. The most powerful evil around has given a pivotal position over to its sworn enemies. You're not scared, are you?" Angel stared at Eve as he took a bite of the apple with a crisp crunch. "The client files are all in there. You might want to start going through 'em." Eve started to leave. "Hope you had a nice trip, cause the honeymoon's over." With that she was gone.
"I really don't like her." Buffy said.
"Why not? She was only invading your office, giving your husband the lusty eye, and putting you down in her conversation undertones." Gunn said.
"All of the above. Plus, there's something off about her."
"She works with the Senior Partners. Everything's off about her." Wesley said.
"Good point."
"You could always fire her." Gunn said.
"Actually.. I have a funny feeling none of us can." Buffy looked at Angel.
________________________________________________________________________
Later that night.. As in WAY later that night, Buffy, Angel, Dawn, Lorne, Fred, Wesley, and Gunn were sitting around the conference table going through files. The table was full of papers and file folders and they were all exhausted. Buffy had given up and curled up in the chair, falling asleep against Gunn.
"This is unbelievable." Angel said.
"I think I've lost my appetite, which is kind of a first." Fred said.
"Ditto." Dawn said.
"Hmm, well, this is interesting. Apparently old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm." Lorne said.
"That explains a lot." Angel said.
"Yeah, but George, Senior.. he read the fine print. There's no one these guys don't have a piece of."
"How are we even supposed to start making things right?" Angel tossed a file on the table, startling Buffy awake. "Sorry honey."
"It's ok. I was barely asleep anyway." Buffy said. "What'd I miss?"
"Not a damn thing."
"Here's a winner: Corbin Fries." Gunn said. "On trial for smuggling Asian girls in for cheap labor and prostitution. Been charged with drugs, gun running, nothing stuck."
"And that's one of our human clients." Wesley said.
"Looks like the trial's not going too well this time."
"Hmm, first good news all day." Angel said.
"I can't even remember which pile is which." Gunn said.
"I'll get our secretary to go through it in the morning."
"Do we have a secretary?" Buffy asked.
"I imagine they'll find you someone who can stomach the idea of working for the side of the righteous." Wesley said.
"My impression is a lot of these guys are just opportunistic. They'll go with the flow." Gunn said.
"You know we're gonna have to check the whole staff, make sure we don't have any die-hard evildoers plotting against us." Buffy said.
"And here I was, worrying about the clients." Wesley said.
"We're doing the right thing.. right?" Angel asked.
"Well, uh.. We're doing it tomorrow, exalted one. My horns are falling asleep." Lorne said.
"Yeah. You guys go get some rest."
"What about you?" Buffy asked.
"I'll work a while yet. Go on." He kissed Buffy lightly.
"Nah, I'll stay."
"But you were asleep not ten minutes ago."
"My eyes hurt. I was just resting them." Her tone had that "not taking no for an answer" tone to it, so Angel dropped it. "Gunn, you'll make sure Dawn is safe at home, right?"
"You know it." Gunn said.
"Night Buffy. Night Angel." Dawn said, giving each of them a hug and Buffy a kiss on the cheek.
________________________________________________________________________
The next morning, Buffy and Angel had showered and changed and headed straight back for work. Buffy was in expensive designer jeans and a crisp, white, button down top with a black, V-neck sweater over it. Angel was in black pants and a burgundy, pinstripe shirt. She had her feet on the desk, still looking through files with Angel.
Buffy set it down. "I need caffeine."
"I think I do too." Angel said as he picked up an envelope that was mailed to Buffy. He handed it to her, but she put it aside without opening it. Angel pressed a button on the phone. "Um.. can I get a cup of coffee or something?"
"You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say 'goats.'" The phone said.
Angel looked at Buffy and then hastily pressed the button, paused, and then tried again by pressing a different button. "Hello?"
"This is Buffy and Angel's office. How can I help you?" A woman asked.
"This is Angel."
"No, this is his new assistant."
"No, this is Angel."
"Are you sure?"
Angel glanced at Buffy. "Less and less." She smiled. "Can I get two cups of coffee? Or if there's blood.."
"Oh! Right away."
Angel pressed the button to hang up, but he switched to the previous line. "To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound.." Angel hastily pressed the button to hang up, holding it down longer this time. He stared at the phone, disgusted for a moment. Buffy laughed and he shot a glare at her then went back to his papers. The phone rang and this time Buffy answered it on the speakerphone.
"Hello?" She asked.
"It's Wesley. Can I stop in? We might be into a situation."
"Uh, sure. Come on by." Buffy hung up and glanced at Angel as he took the mug from the secretary. Then she glanced at the secretary and did a double take. "Harmony!?" Angel swallowed his blood hard.
"Hey Buffy. Angel." Harmony said with a smile.
"You're our secretary?" Buffy asked with slight horror in her voice.
"Hello! Assistant."
"Explain why I shouldn't kill you."
"Secretary's fine."
"No, it's not fine. Where is it fine? You've been working here?"
"Yeah-huh."
"Why?" Angel asked, moving to stand in front of Buffy.
"Well, duh! I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city.. I have to start somewhere. And they're evil here, they don't judge. They've got the necrotempered glass.. no burning up.. a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us?"
"This is bizarre." Buffy said.
"Now, before you go threatening to fire me.."
"I threatened to kill you."
"Don't let's quibble. Before anything, just think.. I'm strong, I'm quick, I'm incredibly sycophantic.. if that means what that guy said.. and I type like a superhero.. if there was a superhero whose power was typing. And, hey, we keep the same hours. Creatures of the night.. And Slayer.. unite." Buffy scoffed as Harmony handed Angel his mug again. "How do you like your blood?"
"Tell me that's not.." Angel started.
"It's pig's blood. I'm totally off the human blood. That's not even a thing."
"It tastes.."
"Pretty good, right? The extra ingredient is otter. How's Dawn by the way?"
Buffy stared at Harmony, ready to kill her. Angel jumped in front of Buffy. "She's at school."
"Wow. Go her."
Buffy was thankful when Wesley knocked, opened the door, and walked in. "It's one of our cases. It's becoming problematic." He nodded to Harmony. "Harmony."
"Hey, Wes." Harmony said.
"You knew that she was.." Buffy asked incredulously.
"Wes is the one that picked me out of the steno pool."
"But why.."
"Well, I thought a familiar face would be just the thing in a place like this." Wesley said.
"You turned evil a lot faster than I thought you would."
"Nonsense."
"We're gonna get along great, guys." Harmony said. "The whole gang. I mean, Cordy is gonna lose it when she finds out.." She noticed that Buffy, Angel, and Wesley were frowning. "I mean.. you are gonna tell her you're ok with this, right? I mean, I know she was mad at me for trying to kill you all, but she wouldn't.. I mean.."
"I thought she knew." Wesley said apologetically.
"Cordy's sick. She's in a coma." Buffy said sadly.
"Oh. God, I.. I didn't.. What happened? Is she gonna be ok?" Harmony asked.
"We don't know."
"Cordy was my best friend, like.. my whole life. She's my role model. How can she.." Harmony breathed deeply, then was chipper again. "So, anyway, I really think you should not fire me, and Wes does, too."
"Harmony, would you ask the men in my office to join us, please?" Wesley asked.
"Righty-ho." She left.
"If there's a way to help Cordelia, we will find it."
"What's the case?" Buffy asked, ready to get off the subject of Cordelia. She had been a friend, but she had also turned evil and in turn turned Buffy and Angel evil and used Connor to get Jasmine out into the world and pretty much destroyed Buffy and Angel's little family and total happiness. She didn't want to dwell.
Wesley handed Angel a folder. "Corbin Fries. The lowest piece of pond scum I've met in, oh, hours. He's about to get 20 years for kidnapping, pimping.."
"We saw the file." Angel said, handing it back to Wes.
"Yeah, well, personally, I think he deserves to be eaten by weasels, but he's hinting we'd best help him. Threatening, actually."
The door opened and Angel turned to look. "Mr. Fries."
"Mr. Fries, this is Angel and Buffy." Harmony said.
"I've been bringing them up to speed on your case." Wesley said.
"Terrific." Fries said flatly.
"Desmond Keel." The lawyer said to Buffy and Angel, shaking their hands.
"One of ours." Wesley informed.
"Nice to meet you." Buffy said.
"I've heard, uh, things." Keel said.
"Would anybody like coffee?" Harmony asked.
"Oh, yeah, let's all chit-chat and have tea and crumpets 'cause I got so much time." Fries said. "Here's the skinny: Tomorrow the D.A. puts my tit in a wringer for good and all, and that.. does not stand with me. Butt- munch here, he got his law degree at dog training school, and the prosecution has everything they've ever dreamed of."
"Because you're guilty." Angel said.
"Of course I'm guilty. What the hell are you changin' the subject for? The point is, when Holland Manners was running things, this would've never got to trial. Now, I bring a lot of money into this firm, more than most, and I don't do that so I can be handed over to the frickin' law. You gotta get me off."
"It's strange, my lack of incentive."
"You think I give a ferret's anus about your new regime here? Yeah, I know who you are, and I care to the sum of zero. You're my lawyers. And if you don't do every last thing to keep me out of jail, you will regret it."
"Well, we can't dance around this one." Keel said. "We're not in a position to have anyone killed. Not that we would. And the jury's, uh, tamper- proof. Literally. I think one of the D.A.'s shamans has conjured a mystical shield around them."
"So this one has to be won on the merits of the case." Buffy said.
"Now, we have top men on this.."
"Who are doing jack! I am not gonna be made an example of. Either you get me off tomorrow.." Fries said, checking Buffy out while he said it.
"I think you should calm down and gets your eyes off of my wife." Angel said.
"To hell with calm down and I'll check out that fine package of ass anytime I want. Either you get me off, or I drop the bomb."
"Bomb?" Buffy asked, her face flushed and fists shaking with anger.
"Let me put it this way: If they bring in a conviction, bye-bye, California. I say the magic word, the only people left standing are gonna be the ones that are already dead."
"Oh, well, that's a relief." Harmony said. "I mean.. Hey!"