Disclaimer: The basic plot for this story is my idea, however The Fairly OddParents and all characters involved belong to Butch Hartman.

Chapter Nine-- "So You Said That Only Proves That I'm Insane"

Oblivious to Timmy's wish, Crocker continued his route to the principal's office where he walked in on Waxelplax as she was sorting files. His kicking the door open startled her and she reflexively flung several papers in the air.

"Crocker!" she barked, irritated as dozens of papers fluttered to the floor around her, "What's the meaning of your rude, unannounced entrance?"

"This!" Crocker gloated, holding the envelope under her nose, then dropping it on her desk, "You can't laugh at me now."

"What is this?" Waxelplax asked, annoyance evident in her tone as she flipped through the pictures.

"FAIRIES!!!" Crocker shouted, convulsing, "It's proof that Timmy Turner has...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!"

"Oh really?" she scoffed, turning the pictures around so he could see them, "Seems more like Timmy has pet gerbils that enjoy running on their wheel."

"What?!" Crocker snatched the pictures back and flipped through them frantically, "It can't be! I saw them! I took pictures of them! I'm going--"

"Crazy," Waxelplax said hollowly, "You're a few bananas short of a bunch, Crocker."

"I hate bananas!" Crocker spouted off impulsively, "They remind me of apes--which I also hate! And I'm not crazy! I know what I saw!"

"And I know where you'll be spending your summer vacation this year," Waxelplax muttered, picking up the phone as he stormed out.

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"There's only one way those photos could have gotten mixed up without ever leaving my sight," Crocker muttered to himself as he tromped down the halls, "FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!"

This time, he gave way to a spasm and his foot made contact with someone's backside. Crocker blinked in surprise as he found himself face to face with Adam West.

"Why, I never!" Catman hissed, rubbing his rear.

"What are you doing here?" Crocker demanded, "You don't belong in the school."

"Catman goes where Catman pleases," Catman replied matter-of-factly.

"Well, Catman can go get lost," Crocker spat, "You're in my way and you're breaking my concentration!"

Crocker stepped around the maniacal movie star and headed for his classroom. He froze in his tracks though when he saw an orderly from the mental institution standing in the doorway.

"Time to go night-night, crazy guy," he said in his happy-go-lucky, nauseatingly stupid voice.

"Says who?" Crocker brazenly demanded.

"Says your boss," the orderly replied, "She says you need your medicine again."

At that point, Crocker made an about-face and high-tailed it down the hall, calling "Fairies are real!" over his shoulder.

"There he goes again," the orderly sighed, glancing helplessly at Waxelplax before pursuing the mental case.

Crocker continued speeding down the hallway, intent on getting to the exit, then to his van, then flooring it and getting as far away from the orderly as humanly possible. Unfortunately for him, he collided with Catman--who was being pursued by another orderly from the opposite direction.

"Gah! Watch where you're going!" Crocker barked impatiently.

"Me?" Catman retorted, "Why don't you practice what you preach?"

"Because I'm not a preacher--I'M A TEACHER!!!"

"There they are!" the two orderlies shouted simultaneously upon discovering the two arguing in the hall. Both Catman and Crocker looked extremely nervous as the gigantic oafs closed in. It seemed their twisted minds came up with the same idea at the same time as they made one last desperate attempt to escape.

"Take him! He's the crazy one!" they tried to pass the crazy buck on each other, speaking in unison, "I am not! You are!"

The orderlies exchanged looks of confusion as the two crazies argued.

"Package deal," one of them said at last, "Take 'em both."

Crocker gave way to total lunacy as an orderly restrained him in a straitjacket and effortlessly slung him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"No! You've got me all wrong!" he cackled maniacally, "I don't suffer with insanity...I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Well, crazy guy," the orderly answered, "You can enjoy every minute of your insanity in your little padded room when you wake up from your nap."

"FAIRIES!!!" Crocker screamed as they passed Timmy in the hall, "I'll get you, Timmy Turner!"

"I'm going to need a bigger needle," the orderly sighed, exasperated.

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Timmy joined the other kids as they ran out of the school building at three o'clock, shouting jubilantly. To his great joy, his parents decided to go to the beach Saturday morning and the best part was that they were taking him along.

As Timmy waded out into the waves the next day, followed by two pink and green seagulls, he decided life couldn't get much better. As his fairy godparents settled on the water's surface to float idly, Timmy smirked.

"This is the best summer vacation ever," he sighed, reclining on Cosmo as he poofed into a surfboard, "I wonder how mean old Mr. Crocker's vacation is going."

"Aw, I'm sure he's having oodles of fun!" Cosmo replied, "He's probably catching up on his sleep as we speak."

Cosmo was almost right. At the moment, Crocker was royally irritated with his next door neighbor and the two engaged in an argument through the padded wall that involved a lot of verbal berating, coming mostly from Crocker.

"All right, that's it, crazies!" the orderly on duty barked, "It's night-night time!"

"Never! Catman goes night-night when Catman--aaaaaaahhh!" Catman's response died in the water as he was promptly sent to la-la land. They zeroed in on Crocker next and his yelp of pain could be heard from quite a distance.

"Did you guys hear something?" Timmy asked, furrowing his brow.

"I heard the ocean!" Cosmo cried, holding up a conch shell, "You won't believe this, Timmy, but it sounded almost like your crazy teacher!"

Wanda exchanged a dull look with Timmy.

"Ignorance is bliss."

THE END