Chapter 10
Buffy and Angel walked through the lobby and headed for their office. Lorne kept trying to get their attention, but they both blew him off. They were covered in demon goop because Fred and Wesley's weapon thing hadn't worked right and they wanted to get home and take a shower ASAP. As Angel drove, Buffy inspected her hair.
"It's going to take about 20 shampooings to get this crap out of my hair!" She said, pulling out a slightly dried chunk. "Maybe I should cut it again. It was low maintenance."
"Don't you dare." Angel said. "It looks better long."
"You just don't want me to cut it cause you like my hair."
"I'd kiss you, but.. Ick."
Buffy chuckled and started to lay her head back on the seat, but then decided not to mess up the leather interior even more. She was getting to the point of tired. Not quite exhaustion yet. She'd been feeling so bad lately that her only comforts were hanging out with Spike and slaying whatever baddie came her way. She barely slept anymore. So far, Angel hadn't noticed her lack of happy smiles and sleep. It had been about two weeks since she had found out that she wasn't pregnant, but it still hurt that she had thought it.. Even had the symptoms. Angel had forced her to go to the doctor and the regular doctor had said that she'd had what Dawn had had.
Buffy had also overcompensated with Angel. Every time he wanted her, she'd be there, no questions asked. Sometimes she'd even granted him little favors in the office. Buffy smiled to herself at the memories.
"What?" Angel asked, looking over at her as they rode the elevator up.
"Hmm?"
"What's that smile for?" He looked over at her, a silly little smile on his face too.
"I was just thinking about you."
"You don't usually smile.."
"That's only because I can usually hide it."
"Eh, you're just smiling cause you're looking forward to taking a shower together."
Buffy laughed. "You caught me."
"Gotta tell you though, that whole demon goop thing is kinda turning me off."
She smacked him lightly. "Shut up. You're a bad liar."
They walked in to their penthouse to find Dawn standing there in her school clothes, hands on her hips and glaring fiercely at them. "Where were you two?"
"Uh.. Slaying the bad guys to keep you safe?" Angel offered.
"You should have called. I was worried sick that something had happened."
"We're fine Dawnie." Buffy said. "And you're right, we should have called in between the fighting to the death all night and the fighting to the death all night."
"Ok, I get your point." Dawn sighed. "I just don't like it when you guys are out all night and don't let me know that you're ok. If something ever happened to you guys.."
Buffy went to hug her sister, but then backed off seeing Dawn's cringe. "If something happened to us, you'd have the greatest family to take care of you. Willow and the others would come back and take care of you. Plus, this time around, I've got a will AND a really great life insurance plan."
"You'd also have all the money that I've collected since I was alive." Angel added. "Which is a lot."
"Plus, you're the heir to the Wolfram and Hart LA Branch. You've got it made."
"Won't make up for the fact that you guys are gone." Dawn shot back.
"Ok, let's not do this now. We're not dead yet, so let's wait until then. You need to get to school and Angel and I need a major shower."
Dawn sighed. "I'll see you guys later." She walked out the door and into the elevator.
Two hours later and one extremely satisfying shower, the sun had come up and Buffy was standing in the bathroom wrapped in her terrycloth robe searching for her leave-in conditioner. Angel was headed out into the bedroom. "Angel, have you seen my conditioner?" She looked over to see Angel standing wrapped in a towel. "You don't have to be decent for me." She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing his tattoo before looking over to see Eve sitting on the bed.
"You two were in that shower awfully long." She said. Eve noticed their looks. "I understand. You're both running the whole circus now, a lot of pressure, especially with your hands-on policy. No pun intended. I'm sure you two could use a release."
"We're married." Angel retorted. "That's what we do after bashing open a demonic piñata full of rancid Tabasco."
"What's SHE doing here?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, what DO you want, Eve?"
"You guys stood me up. We had a 7:30.. A meeting." Eve said.
"Oh. Right. Uh.. I'll get my pants."
"Grab mine too." Buffy said. "I can't NOT have my conditioner."
Fifteen minutes later they were dressed and following Eve into the elevator at Wolfram and Hart. Eve looked over them. "So, how's it going, guys?"
"Oh.. I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know. Good. Bad. Look, I spent years doing everything I could to bring this company down. Now my wife and I are the CEOs, and we have to question every move we make because any one of them could be exactly what the senior partners want, so, no, I have no idea how it's going." Angel said.
"We've heard from Angel, how are you, Buffy?"
"Tired. Bored. Agitated. Take your pick." Buffy said, taking Angel's hand.
"Hey, at least you guys can still get your jollies saving the downtrodden from things that go bump in the night."
"Well, you said it yourself. Everyone needs a release." Angel said.
"No. I said you guys need a release. Not everyone bottles all this stuff up like you two."
"We don't bottle." Buffy and Angel both said.
"You bottle."
"We don't bottle." Angel said. When the elevator door opened, a huge skull was there in the doorway. Buffy and Angel both reflexively punched it and the man holding the foam skull fell down to the floor, groaning. They looked around to see there were many people with similar costumes busily working to decorate the lobby.
"Ok, why does it look like we're having a party in here?" Buffy asked.
"Well, maybe 'cause we're having a party in here." Lorne said, walking up. "The Wolfram & Hart Halloween Bash? Ring a bell? The biggest event on the company calendar? I sent you both a small forest's worth of memos on it."
"We're havin' it here?" Angel asked.
"You see what I'm up against?" Lorne asked Eve.
"That's what our 7:30 was about, guys. Your party." Eve said.
"Our party?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, listen." Lorne said. "Here's the snafu in a nutshell, top cats. Uh, nobody's comin'. Well, some people are coming, but the right people, the A- list people, they seem to be giving it a miss, and if they don't show up, this shindig is gonna be a bust."
"Good." Buffy and Angel said.
"Good?!"
"We weren't too crazy about this thing to begin with." Buffy said. "I mean, we are talking about our clients, right? Our evil clients. Not the sort of folks we really like to show a good time. We'd be a lot happier if the whole thing just kind of fell through. Then we could get back to.."
"Ha ha ha! Ok! Ok! You're killin' me. Can't you just feel up the big picture, Mr. Magoo? It's not about good and evil. It's about party. Party! Capital P! Rhymes with me? About to have a stroke here 'cause you're killin' me!" Lorne yelled. Then he visably calmed. "Listen. I can see that you're both in a-a state, a-a mood, a snit even, so what say we talk about this once you've both.. calmed down a bit?"
"Yeah, sure. That's fine.." Angel said.
"Great. Your office. 25 minutes." Lorne walked off.
"Weird, much?" Buffy headed towards the office.
Angel stopped and looked at all the kooky decorations that cluttered the lobby. Suddenly, Buffy screamed from the office. He and Eve ran over to her. "Buffy, what is it?"
"OH MY GOD! WILLOW!" Buffy yelped, grabbing her best friend in a bear hug. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you. Oh God! I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too." Willow said. Both girls were crying. "That's why I came. I couldn't stand to be away from my best for so long."
Buffy hugged Willow again. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"Who's that?" Eve asked.
"Angel!" Willow ran up and hugged Angel.
"Hey Willow. How are you?" Angel asked.
"Much better!" Willow turned back to Buffy and the two women wrapped an arm around each others waists. "Now that I'm here for two weeks."
"Are you serious!?" Buffy squealed.
"Is that all right?"
"It's more than! Dawn'll be so psyched. I'm already psyched! I don't think I can be anymore psyched."
"Great. I know it was short notice and I feel kinda bad.."
"Don't you dare, Willow." Angel said. "This is the best surprise we could ask for."
Willow smiled broadly, matching Buffy's. "So this is the belly of the beast."
"Yup." Buffy said. "I could give you the tour."
"Sure! That'd be awesome. Can't wait to see Fred's lab."
"Buffy, you only have twenty five minutes." Eve said.
"Ugh! Can't we push it back?" Eve shook her head. "Damn it. Fine."
"It's cool Buffy." Willow said. "We can hang out here and talk while we wait. I can take the tour later."
After introducing Eve to Willow, the two women and Angel walked over to the couch and started to talk. Twenty minutes later, Spike walked in. "What's this about some meeting I'm.. Red?"
"Spike!?" Willow looked at the vampire-ghost and then at Buffy and Angel and back. "What the.."
"It's a long story." Angel said.
"Spike's back, but he's a ghost. The amulet was somehow mailed here and when we opened it, Spike popped out like a toy surprise." Buffy said.
"Hey." Spike protested.
"Sorry."
"Oh.." After a minute of staring, Willow looked back at Buffy and Angel. "So anyway, we found this one girl in Italy and she was a real old-Faith type kinda gal."
"You mean when Faith was evil and killing people?" Angel asked.
"Exactly. And Giles was all, 'You're special now and there's no need for such language.' Kennedy threatened her, which was hysterical, and then Xander came up to put her in Slayer time out and the girl just punched him right in the nose!"
"Awe, poor Xand."
"Yeah, he had to go to the hospital. Luckily she hadn't been trained yet, so she was off and didn't break it."
"How's Giles handling all those girls?" Angel asked.
"He mostly just gives them that Giles look and then clucks at them."
"He clucks?"
"Only when he gets mad." Buffy said. "Then he makes this cluck-cluck sound while he does the Giles-scowl."
"Ah."
Fifteen minutes later, The whole gang had gathered in Buffy and Angel's office, except Lorne. Angel was sitting at his desk, frowning. Buffy and Willow sat on the couch. Gunn was sitting on Angel's desk. Eve was sitting in the chair across from it. Fred was standing near the windows, as was Spike. Wesley was sitting in a chair in the corner. Spike stared out the window at the people in costume. "In my day, no self- respecting creature of the night went out on All Hallow's Eve. We left that to the posers, the blighters who had to dress up and try to be scary." Angel pressed a button that caused the windows to fog. "Magic windows. Will the perks never end?"
Lorne breezed in. "Ah, perfetto, Benigni! Perfetto.." He went back and forth not wanting to walk through Spike. "Ah, si, si, si. Grande. Ciao." He hung up his cell phone. "What did I miss?"
"Us. Waiting." Angel said.
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"And Willow showing up." Buffy said happily.
"Willow!" Lorne smiled and went over and air kissed both cheeks. "It's so great to see you! So, uh, Buffy.. Angel, we just wanted to take a moment and emphasize how important this party really is to us."
"I gotta say Lorne is right." Gunn said. "We gotta show all the big bads that the new regime is here to stay, which, for the most part, boils down to image. And image-wise, if this party doesn't kick ass, we lose face."
"And believe me, milk duds, speaking as the head of your P.R. Department, we need all the face we can get."
"Milk duds?" Angel asked.
"Said with affection."
Buffy stood up. "Ok, listen, we understand the whole 'keeping up appearances' concept, but everyone coming to this thing is unrepentant, dyed-in-the-wool evil."
"Buffy, a good host just doesn't make these sort of judgments."
"We don't know how many of them are holding grudges against us or against each other. It's a perfect recipe for an out-of-control bloodbath." Angel said.
"That's describing every good party I've ever been to. Listen, guys, don't worry about a thing. This is my forte. And I ran Caritas for years, a nightclub with an open-door policy. The good, the bad, the hideously ugly, they all bellied up to my demon bar, but they all played nicely together while they were there."
"And this is exactly the kind of ethical tightrope you've gotta walk now, guys. Which brings up another point.. your employees." Eve said.
"Also evil." Buffy said.
Harmony walked in and handed Angel a mug of blood. "Here's your blood, bossy." Angel glared at her. "Ahem. Boss." She looked over. "Oh! Hey Willow."
"Harmony!?" Willow asked. "What's she doing here?"
"Wesley hired her." Angel said.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked Wesley.
"Back on track." Eve said. "Some of them are evil, yes, but all of them work hard for this firm, and Halloween, well, around here it's like Christmas. Simply put, this is a morale thing."
"Good luck. The morale around here stinks." Harmony said.
"What?" Buffy and Angel both asked, staring.
"Uh-huh. Everybody thinks you guys suck. Well, come on. They're all out there, sweating through their matsudas, worried if you're gonna axe them or, you know, axe them."
"Ok, look, hey, we haven't.." Buffy looked at Angel. "Ok, look, we may have.. killed a couple of them."
"And several clients.. and maybe some potential clients?" Lorne said. "Why do you think my R.S.V.P. list is only a fifth of the size of last year's?"
"It's you two." Eve said.
"Come on, what, do they think we're throwing this thing so Buffy and I can slaughter them?" Everyone in the room looked straight at Buffy and Angel except Willow, who didn't really know what was going on to the full extent.
"Fine. We surrender." Buffy said. "Go ahead, Lorne. Put on your best dog and pony. Angel and I won't get in the way."
"I don't want you two to sit back and just let it happen. I need you guys to get out there and make it happen."
"What does that mean?" Buffy and Angel asked.
Buffy, Angel, and Lorne were riding in a limo that night. Lorne fixed himself a drink while Buffy said, "I feel really bad about leaving Willow. She came here to see us and we just leave."
"She's with Dawn. They're playing ketchup now." Lorne said.
"But we weren't done.."
"Anyway.. Archduke Sebassis. Bona fide nobility from the fiery down under. Commands over 40 legions. He's the living end of a pure bloodline of demonic royalty."
"Great. Just great." Angel said.
"Well, also, the very peak of the A-list mountain. He's the crown jewel of the underworld jet set. If we convince him to come, all the other glitterati will just domino in right behind him, and then.. then we'll be in business."
"This really matters to you, doesn't it?" Buffy said.
"Well, of course. The new Wolfram & Hart.. I mean, we have to.."
"No. I mean, this really matters to you. Personally."
"Yeah. You know, I-I don't have superhuman strength and I'm not a fighter and I'm no Willow. Quantum physics makes me nauseous and I barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I'm on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you guys, even if you don't."
"Well, we're here, aren't we? We agreed to this."
"No, you-you did. You guys did. And I promise you won't regret it. But, hey, let's leave it that you two let me do most of the talking, huh? You just kind of smile and try not to rip anybody apart. Ok?"
"I guess." Angel said.
"Oh, and Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"Put on that enchanting little smile of yours and turn on the charm. Sebassis loves pretty things."
Buffy scoffed at Lorne. At the.. Um, lair.. The three were seated in chairs facing a pale demon with horns seated on a high throne. Another similar demon stood at his side. Despite her revulsion, Buffy found herself smiling like a giddy fool and slightly flirting with the demon.
"So.. this is the mighty Angel and his wife the Slayer. I've been told many things about you both. Restless frogs, hmm? Making lots of waves in your little swamp."
"We're just trying to keep the fly population down." Buffy said, still smiling.
Sebassis seemed to like Buffy's charms. "Yes. Though I do prefer the tales of your evil side and Angel's counterpart Angelus. Ah, you both had some flair, children."
"Well, I guess we all mellow in our old age." Angel said.
"Your contempt is fragrant."
Sebassis sipped blue liquid from a wine glass and finished the drink. He put his glass down and a smaller, thinner, paler demon walked out to him. The smaller slave-like demon pulled a cork out of his arm and held his arm out over Sebassis's glass. The blue liquid Sebassis was drinking flowed from the slave's uncorked vein into the glass. Lorne witnessed this with great discomfort, although he tried to hide it. Buffy just kept smiling even though she was cringing on the inside.
"Uh.. uh, so, your lordship, we were deeply grieved when you declined our invitation. I mean, we'd love for you to reconsider." Lorne said. He slapped Angel's arm.
"Yeah.. ha. Yeah." Angel said.
"A party just isn't a party without the archduke." Buffy said cheerily.
"You're sure you wouldn't like some.." He offered Buffy.
"No thanks. I'm not a heavy drinker. But the offer's super nice."
He offered Angel a glass. Angel held up his hands. "I'm fine. But thanks."
"Oh, come, come. We're all blood-drinkers here.. Except the Slayer. Ah, but that's right. You choose to drink the blood of swine. Filthy beasts."
"Actually, that's a misconception."
"Filthy! Yes! Honestly, I don't know how he does it." Lorne said. He chuckled and sipped from a glass filled with the blue liquid. "Mmm. Wow, this is.." He looked at the slave. "You, uh... you really.. you taste great."
"Well.. in light of this amusing chat, the charm of Angel's darling little wife, and of my longstanding acquaintance with you, Lorne, I will come to the gala." Sebassis said.
"Oh, that's wonderful news, your lordship! Well, we don't wanna waste any more of your valuable time." Lorne stood and set down the glass. "We'll- we'll show ourselves out." Buffy, Angel, and Lorne exited the room.
Buffy shook her head. "What was that?"
"Were you flirting with him?" Angel asked.
"Ew! No!"
"Great performance Buffy." Lorne said. "You really wowed him! I didn't know you had it in you."
"Neither did I."
Buffy and Angel walked through the lobby and headed for their office. Lorne kept trying to get their attention, but they both blew him off. They were covered in demon goop because Fred and Wesley's weapon thing hadn't worked right and they wanted to get home and take a shower ASAP. As Angel drove, Buffy inspected her hair.
"It's going to take about 20 shampooings to get this crap out of my hair!" She said, pulling out a slightly dried chunk. "Maybe I should cut it again. It was low maintenance."
"Don't you dare." Angel said. "It looks better long."
"You just don't want me to cut it cause you like my hair."
"I'd kiss you, but.. Ick."
Buffy chuckled and started to lay her head back on the seat, but then decided not to mess up the leather interior even more. She was getting to the point of tired. Not quite exhaustion yet. She'd been feeling so bad lately that her only comforts were hanging out with Spike and slaying whatever baddie came her way. She barely slept anymore. So far, Angel hadn't noticed her lack of happy smiles and sleep. It had been about two weeks since she had found out that she wasn't pregnant, but it still hurt that she had thought it.. Even had the symptoms. Angel had forced her to go to the doctor and the regular doctor had said that she'd had what Dawn had had.
Buffy had also overcompensated with Angel. Every time he wanted her, she'd be there, no questions asked. Sometimes she'd even granted him little favors in the office. Buffy smiled to herself at the memories.
"What?" Angel asked, looking over at her as they rode the elevator up.
"Hmm?"
"What's that smile for?" He looked over at her, a silly little smile on his face too.
"I was just thinking about you."
"You don't usually smile.."
"That's only because I can usually hide it."
"Eh, you're just smiling cause you're looking forward to taking a shower together."
Buffy laughed. "You caught me."
"Gotta tell you though, that whole demon goop thing is kinda turning me off."
She smacked him lightly. "Shut up. You're a bad liar."
They walked in to their penthouse to find Dawn standing there in her school clothes, hands on her hips and glaring fiercely at them. "Where were you two?"
"Uh.. Slaying the bad guys to keep you safe?" Angel offered.
"You should have called. I was worried sick that something had happened."
"We're fine Dawnie." Buffy said. "And you're right, we should have called in between the fighting to the death all night and the fighting to the death all night."
"Ok, I get your point." Dawn sighed. "I just don't like it when you guys are out all night and don't let me know that you're ok. If something ever happened to you guys.."
Buffy went to hug her sister, but then backed off seeing Dawn's cringe. "If something happened to us, you'd have the greatest family to take care of you. Willow and the others would come back and take care of you. Plus, this time around, I've got a will AND a really great life insurance plan."
"You'd also have all the money that I've collected since I was alive." Angel added. "Which is a lot."
"Plus, you're the heir to the Wolfram and Hart LA Branch. You've got it made."
"Won't make up for the fact that you guys are gone." Dawn shot back.
"Ok, let's not do this now. We're not dead yet, so let's wait until then. You need to get to school and Angel and I need a major shower."
Dawn sighed. "I'll see you guys later." She walked out the door and into the elevator.
Two hours later and one extremely satisfying shower, the sun had come up and Buffy was standing in the bathroom wrapped in her terrycloth robe searching for her leave-in conditioner. Angel was headed out into the bedroom. "Angel, have you seen my conditioner?" She looked over to see Angel standing wrapped in a towel. "You don't have to be decent for me." She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing his tattoo before looking over to see Eve sitting on the bed.
"You two were in that shower awfully long." She said. Eve noticed their looks. "I understand. You're both running the whole circus now, a lot of pressure, especially with your hands-on policy. No pun intended. I'm sure you two could use a release."
"We're married." Angel retorted. "That's what we do after bashing open a demonic piñata full of rancid Tabasco."
"What's SHE doing here?" Buffy asked.
"Yes, what DO you want, Eve?"
"You guys stood me up. We had a 7:30.. A meeting." Eve said.
"Oh. Right. Uh.. I'll get my pants."
"Grab mine too." Buffy said. "I can't NOT have my conditioner."
Fifteen minutes later they were dressed and following Eve into the elevator at Wolfram and Hart. Eve looked over them. "So, how's it going, guys?"
"Oh.. I don't know how to answer that question. I don't know. Good. Bad. Look, I spent years doing everything I could to bring this company down. Now my wife and I are the CEOs, and we have to question every move we make because any one of them could be exactly what the senior partners want, so, no, I have no idea how it's going." Angel said.
"We've heard from Angel, how are you, Buffy?"
"Tired. Bored. Agitated. Take your pick." Buffy said, taking Angel's hand.
"Hey, at least you guys can still get your jollies saving the downtrodden from things that go bump in the night."
"Well, you said it yourself. Everyone needs a release." Angel said.
"No. I said you guys need a release. Not everyone bottles all this stuff up like you two."
"We don't bottle." Buffy and Angel both said.
"You bottle."
"We don't bottle." Angel said. When the elevator door opened, a huge skull was there in the doorway. Buffy and Angel both reflexively punched it and the man holding the foam skull fell down to the floor, groaning. They looked around to see there were many people with similar costumes busily working to decorate the lobby.
"Ok, why does it look like we're having a party in here?" Buffy asked.
"Well, maybe 'cause we're having a party in here." Lorne said, walking up. "The Wolfram & Hart Halloween Bash? Ring a bell? The biggest event on the company calendar? I sent you both a small forest's worth of memos on it."
"We're havin' it here?" Angel asked.
"You see what I'm up against?" Lorne asked Eve.
"That's what our 7:30 was about, guys. Your party." Eve said.
"Our party?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah, listen." Lorne said. "Here's the snafu in a nutshell, top cats. Uh, nobody's comin'. Well, some people are coming, but the right people, the A- list people, they seem to be giving it a miss, and if they don't show up, this shindig is gonna be a bust."
"Good." Buffy and Angel said.
"Good?!"
"We weren't too crazy about this thing to begin with." Buffy said. "I mean, we are talking about our clients, right? Our evil clients. Not the sort of folks we really like to show a good time. We'd be a lot happier if the whole thing just kind of fell through. Then we could get back to.."
"Ha ha ha! Ok! Ok! You're killin' me. Can't you just feel up the big picture, Mr. Magoo? It's not about good and evil. It's about party. Party! Capital P! Rhymes with me? About to have a stroke here 'cause you're killin' me!" Lorne yelled. Then he visably calmed. "Listen. I can see that you're both in a-a state, a-a mood, a snit even, so what say we talk about this once you've both.. calmed down a bit?"
"Yeah, sure. That's fine.." Angel said.
"Great. Your office. 25 minutes." Lorne walked off.
"Weird, much?" Buffy headed towards the office.
Angel stopped and looked at all the kooky decorations that cluttered the lobby. Suddenly, Buffy screamed from the office. He and Eve ran over to her. "Buffy, what is it?"
"OH MY GOD! WILLOW!" Buffy yelped, grabbing her best friend in a bear hug. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you. Oh God! I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too." Willow said. Both girls were crying. "That's why I came. I couldn't stand to be away from my best for so long."
Buffy hugged Willow again. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
"Who's that?" Eve asked.
"Angel!" Willow ran up and hugged Angel.
"Hey Willow. How are you?" Angel asked.
"Much better!" Willow turned back to Buffy and the two women wrapped an arm around each others waists. "Now that I'm here for two weeks."
"Are you serious!?" Buffy squealed.
"Is that all right?"
"It's more than! Dawn'll be so psyched. I'm already psyched! I don't think I can be anymore psyched."
"Great. I know it was short notice and I feel kinda bad.."
"Don't you dare, Willow." Angel said. "This is the best surprise we could ask for."
Willow smiled broadly, matching Buffy's. "So this is the belly of the beast."
"Yup." Buffy said. "I could give you the tour."
"Sure! That'd be awesome. Can't wait to see Fred's lab."
"Buffy, you only have twenty five minutes." Eve said.
"Ugh! Can't we push it back?" Eve shook her head. "Damn it. Fine."
"It's cool Buffy." Willow said. "We can hang out here and talk while we wait. I can take the tour later."
After introducing Eve to Willow, the two women and Angel walked over to the couch and started to talk. Twenty minutes later, Spike walked in. "What's this about some meeting I'm.. Red?"
"Spike!?" Willow looked at the vampire-ghost and then at Buffy and Angel and back. "What the.."
"It's a long story." Angel said.
"Spike's back, but he's a ghost. The amulet was somehow mailed here and when we opened it, Spike popped out like a toy surprise." Buffy said.
"Hey." Spike protested.
"Sorry."
"Oh.." After a minute of staring, Willow looked back at Buffy and Angel. "So anyway, we found this one girl in Italy and she was a real old-Faith type kinda gal."
"You mean when Faith was evil and killing people?" Angel asked.
"Exactly. And Giles was all, 'You're special now and there's no need for such language.' Kennedy threatened her, which was hysterical, and then Xander came up to put her in Slayer time out and the girl just punched him right in the nose!"
"Awe, poor Xand."
"Yeah, he had to go to the hospital. Luckily she hadn't been trained yet, so she was off and didn't break it."
"How's Giles handling all those girls?" Angel asked.
"He mostly just gives them that Giles look and then clucks at them."
"He clucks?"
"Only when he gets mad." Buffy said. "Then he makes this cluck-cluck sound while he does the Giles-scowl."
"Ah."
Fifteen minutes later, The whole gang had gathered in Buffy and Angel's office, except Lorne. Angel was sitting at his desk, frowning. Buffy and Willow sat on the couch. Gunn was sitting on Angel's desk. Eve was sitting in the chair across from it. Fred was standing near the windows, as was Spike. Wesley was sitting in a chair in the corner. Spike stared out the window at the people in costume. "In my day, no self- respecting creature of the night went out on All Hallow's Eve. We left that to the posers, the blighters who had to dress up and try to be scary." Angel pressed a button that caused the windows to fog. "Magic windows. Will the perks never end?"
Lorne breezed in. "Ah, perfetto, Benigni! Perfetto.." He went back and forth not wanting to walk through Spike. "Ah, si, si, si. Grande. Ciao." He hung up his cell phone. "What did I miss?"
"Us. Waiting." Angel said.
"Oh, right. Sorry."
"And Willow showing up." Buffy said happily.
"Willow!" Lorne smiled and went over and air kissed both cheeks. "It's so great to see you! So, uh, Buffy.. Angel, we just wanted to take a moment and emphasize how important this party really is to us."
"I gotta say Lorne is right." Gunn said. "We gotta show all the big bads that the new regime is here to stay, which, for the most part, boils down to image. And image-wise, if this party doesn't kick ass, we lose face."
"And believe me, milk duds, speaking as the head of your P.R. Department, we need all the face we can get."
"Milk duds?" Angel asked.
"Said with affection."
Buffy stood up. "Ok, listen, we understand the whole 'keeping up appearances' concept, but everyone coming to this thing is unrepentant, dyed-in-the-wool evil."
"Buffy, a good host just doesn't make these sort of judgments."
"We don't know how many of them are holding grudges against us or against each other. It's a perfect recipe for an out-of-control bloodbath." Angel said.
"That's describing every good party I've ever been to. Listen, guys, don't worry about a thing. This is my forte. And I ran Caritas for years, a nightclub with an open-door policy. The good, the bad, the hideously ugly, they all bellied up to my demon bar, but they all played nicely together while they were there."
"And this is exactly the kind of ethical tightrope you've gotta walk now, guys. Which brings up another point.. your employees." Eve said.
"Also evil." Buffy said.
Harmony walked in and handed Angel a mug of blood. "Here's your blood, bossy." Angel glared at her. "Ahem. Boss." She looked over. "Oh! Hey Willow."
"Harmony!?" Willow asked. "What's she doing here?"
"Wesley hired her." Angel said.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked Wesley.
"Back on track." Eve said. "Some of them are evil, yes, but all of them work hard for this firm, and Halloween, well, around here it's like Christmas. Simply put, this is a morale thing."
"Good luck. The morale around here stinks." Harmony said.
"What?" Buffy and Angel both asked, staring.
"Uh-huh. Everybody thinks you guys suck. Well, come on. They're all out there, sweating through their matsudas, worried if you're gonna axe them or, you know, axe them."
"Ok, look, hey, we haven't.." Buffy looked at Angel. "Ok, look, we may have.. killed a couple of them."
"And several clients.. and maybe some potential clients?" Lorne said. "Why do you think my R.S.V.P. list is only a fifth of the size of last year's?"
"It's you two." Eve said.
"Come on, what, do they think we're throwing this thing so Buffy and I can slaughter them?" Everyone in the room looked straight at Buffy and Angel except Willow, who didn't really know what was going on to the full extent.
"Fine. We surrender." Buffy said. "Go ahead, Lorne. Put on your best dog and pony. Angel and I won't get in the way."
"I don't want you two to sit back and just let it happen. I need you guys to get out there and make it happen."
"What does that mean?" Buffy and Angel asked.
Buffy, Angel, and Lorne were riding in a limo that night. Lorne fixed himself a drink while Buffy said, "I feel really bad about leaving Willow. She came here to see us and we just leave."
"She's with Dawn. They're playing ketchup now." Lorne said.
"But we weren't done.."
"Anyway.. Archduke Sebassis. Bona fide nobility from the fiery down under. Commands over 40 legions. He's the living end of a pure bloodline of demonic royalty."
"Great. Just great." Angel said.
"Well, also, the very peak of the A-list mountain. He's the crown jewel of the underworld jet set. If we convince him to come, all the other glitterati will just domino in right behind him, and then.. then we'll be in business."
"This really matters to you, doesn't it?" Buffy said.
"Well, of course. The new Wolfram & Hart.. I mean, we have to.."
"No. I mean, this really matters to you. Personally."
"Yeah. You know, I-I don't have superhuman strength and I'm not a fighter and I'm no Willow. Quantum physics makes me nauseous and I barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I'm on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you guys, even if you don't."
"Well, we're here, aren't we? We agreed to this."
"No, you-you did. You guys did. And I promise you won't regret it. But, hey, let's leave it that you two let me do most of the talking, huh? You just kind of smile and try not to rip anybody apart. Ok?"
"I guess." Angel said.
"Oh, and Buffy?"
"Yeah?"
"Put on that enchanting little smile of yours and turn on the charm. Sebassis loves pretty things."
Buffy scoffed at Lorne. At the.. Um, lair.. The three were seated in chairs facing a pale demon with horns seated on a high throne. Another similar demon stood at his side. Despite her revulsion, Buffy found herself smiling like a giddy fool and slightly flirting with the demon.
"So.. this is the mighty Angel and his wife the Slayer. I've been told many things about you both. Restless frogs, hmm? Making lots of waves in your little swamp."
"We're just trying to keep the fly population down." Buffy said, still smiling.
Sebassis seemed to like Buffy's charms. "Yes. Though I do prefer the tales of your evil side and Angel's counterpart Angelus. Ah, you both had some flair, children."
"Well, I guess we all mellow in our old age." Angel said.
"Your contempt is fragrant."
Sebassis sipped blue liquid from a wine glass and finished the drink. He put his glass down and a smaller, thinner, paler demon walked out to him. The smaller slave-like demon pulled a cork out of his arm and held his arm out over Sebassis's glass. The blue liquid Sebassis was drinking flowed from the slave's uncorked vein into the glass. Lorne witnessed this with great discomfort, although he tried to hide it. Buffy just kept smiling even though she was cringing on the inside.
"Uh.. uh, so, your lordship, we were deeply grieved when you declined our invitation. I mean, we'd love for you to reconsider." Lorne said. He slapped Angel's arm.
"Yeah.. ha. Yeah." Angel said.
"A party just isn't a party without the archduke." Buffy said cheerily.
"You're sure you wouldn't like some.." He offered Buffy.
"No thanks. I'm not a heavy drinker. But the offer's super nice."
He offered Angel a glass. Angel held up his hands. "I'm fine. But thanks."
"Oh, come, come. We're all blood-drinkers here.. Except the Slayer. Ah, but that's right. You choose to drink the blood of swine. Filthy beasts."
"Actually, that's a misconception."
"Filthy! Yes! Honestly, I don't know how he does it." Lorne said. He chuckled and sipped from a glass filled with the blue liquid. "Mmm. Wow, this is.." He looked at the slave. "You, uh... you really.. you taste great."
"Well.. in light of this amusing chat, the charm of Angel's darling little wife, and of my longstanding acquaintance with you, Lorne, I will come to the gala." Sebassis said.
"Oh, that's wonderful news, your lordship! Well, we don't wanna waste any more of your valuable time." Lorne stood and set down the glass. "We'll- we'll show ourselves out." Buffy, Angel, and Lorne exited the room.
Buffy shook her head. "What was that?"
"Were you flirting with him?" Angel asked.
"Ew! No!"
"Great performance Buffy." Lorne said. "You really wowed him! I didn't know you had it in you."
"Neither did I."