Chapter 11
The party had started and there was disco music playing. A glittery disco ball shimmered in the lights. Harmony was the only person dancing on the dance floor. Fred and Wesley were playing blend-in-with-the-wall. Dawn and Willow were talking excitedly about anything and everything in a quiet corner. Spike was walking around, looking a little freaked out. Buffy and Angel sat in their office watching a hockey game. They had dressed up, but couldn't really bring themselves to really go.
Buffy had on a black skirt, knee high stiletto heeled boots, and a long sleeved, black lace shirt that clung to her and then at the wrists, flared out. She sat in Angel's lap, her head laying against his shoulder. He held her gently, stroking her back.
Lorne breezed in. "Buffy, Angel, it's a graveyard out there, and all the guests wanna meet the new guys in charge."
"Look, Lorne, we.. We, uh, we have things. We're busy." Angel said.
"We're brooding." Buffy said.
Lorne looked at the TV. "Oh, you're watching hockey!"
"Yeah, but my team is losing." Angel said.
"Get up off your keisters and get out there! I can't steer this ship of fools by my lonesome! I just can't do it! I.." Lorne groaned and rubbed his temples in pain as his frustration escalated.
"Lorne?" Buffy asked, sitting up a little straighter.
He looked up, all smiles. "Let's boogie, sweet tarts." Sighing, Buffy got up and Angel held out his arm. She slipped hers through and they followed Lorne out. "Well, so over there we have the Britzai representatives. We can get to them later. Oh, and there's the elder of the Fell Brotherhood. Come on, let's go say hi!" Angel rolled his eyes as he and Buffy went with Lorne. After meeting and greeting a few guests, they ran into Spike.
"What am I doing here?" He asked himself.
"Yeah, Spike. I thought you hated these kind of things." Buffy joked.
"I would've thought the same of BOTH of you."
"Oh, no, they're doing great. They've already not killed, like, 100 guests." Lorne said.
"They don't have to. Party's already dead."
"Oh, really, Spike, would it kill you to be a little more positive? Hmm?"
"The Archduke Sebassis!" A male voice suddenly rang out.
Sebassis walked in and people gathered around him, kneeling and kissing his hands and feet. Lorne looked at Angel. "Mmm. Ok, sports. You're on, and please, for me, can you try to be nice to him? Just this one time, huh?"
"Yes. Fine. Sycophants, worms. Don't writhe all at once. It's sickening." Sebassis said.
"Archduke Sebassis!" Angel called. Sebassis held out his hand to be kissed and Angel shook it instead. "Thanks so much for coming."
"Yes, well.."
"Really, really thrilled that you're here."
Buffy smiled. "Hi Sebassis."
"Mrs. Summers. You're looking pleasing tonight."
"Only the best for our most esteemed guest.
"Artode, welcome. Welcome. Love the jacket, by the way." Lorne said.
"It's Pylean." Artode said.
"Oh, made in Pylea. Ha. My home dimension."
"Not made in, made from. I skinned it myself. Anybody you know?"
"Well, great. Thanks for dropping by. Ha ha." Lorne walked away.
"And you look just.." Angel continued. "Well, I don't have to tell you how awesome you look. You know how awesome you look. He knows how awesome he looks, right?"
"Buffy, Angel, hey." Lorne said. "We don't wanna be greedy with his eminence. Thank you, your lordship."
"Thank you." Sebassis said.
"Absolutely. Really. Thrilled to have you here."
"Bye." Buffy said.
"Okey-dokey! Ok, that'll do it. Thank you. Come on." Lorne pulled them away.
Buffy and Angel headed over to a dark corner and tried to hide. Their hands were all over each other. Angel kept rubbing her back and holding her waist with his free hand while she made little circles on his lower back and gripped his hip with her other hand. She laid her head on his shoulder just as Eve came up.
"I have to say, I'm impressed. I saw you two with Sebassis. I honestly didn't know you two had it in you." She said.
"Yeah, well, it was an act." Angel said, then he glanced at Buffy. "We think."
"I picked up on that from 100 yards away. Yep. You were bangin' it out to the cheap seats."
"Funny. I was gonna say the same thing about that dress." Buffy said.
Eve rolled her eyes and walked away just as Lorne glided up. He noticed Buffy and Angel's cozy position. "Oh, you two. Really. The sexual tension? Oh, with a knife you could cut it, huh? Get a room."
The two glanced at each other and then dashed for the office. Angel and Buffy began making out inside their office, kissing passionately. Buffy jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. He led them over to the couch and started to fall, but missed and they ended up behind it. Neither cared as they kept going.
Willow and Dawn looked around the room. "This is really weird. They weren't like this an hour ago." Willow said.
"I noticed. Kinda creepy." Dawn said. She looked at Spike dancing with Harmony. "Especially that."
Willow shuddered. "I've never seen Spike dance. No wonder he just stuck to killing things."
"CONGA! WHOO!" Some lawyer yelled to the others.
"Maybe home would be a good idea." Dawn said.
"We should find Buffy and Angel first." Willow looked around. "Did you see where they went?"
"No. I saw them hamming it up with some self-involved demon, but then I lost them."
"Hey, there go Fred and Wesley. Let's see if they know."
"Guys!" Dawn said as she and Willow ran up. "Have you seen Buffy and Angel?"
Fred and Wesley both looked at them. "Um.." Wesley said. "I think they went thataway." He pointed towards the elevators.
"Nononononono." Fred slurred. "They went up there and THEN thataway."
"Are you guys drunk?" Willow asked.
"Quite bloody smashed, thank you." Wesley said. "Have you seen my tutu? I think I lost it."
"Wesley, you don't own a tutu." Dawn said.
"Oh. Well have you seen it anyways?"
Dawn and Willow groaned and walked off. They found Lorne. "Hey Lorne," Dawn said. "Have you seen Buffy and Angel?"
"Yeah! They were standing in the corner all over each other last I saw." Lorne said.
"When was that?" Willow asked.
"Um.. About an hour ago."
"Oh, gee thanks."
"You two should lighten up and have fun like the rest of us. You don't see anyone else worrying about where their friends are!" Lorne moved away with the crowd.
Willow and Dawn looked at each other. "What were we doing?"
"Joining the conga line!" Dawn said, grabbing on.
"OH! Right!" Willow grabbed on to Dawn and congaed off.
Buffy enjoyed the feel of Angel's hands all over her body. They were behind the couch going at it for the sixth time now. Suddenly, voices floated to them. "Come on, guys. I'm telling you I did not do anything." Lorne said.
"Angel? You in here? Ang.." Fred started.
Angel popped his head up from the floor behind the couch where he was naked with Buffy. "Ohh! What?"
"Hey! Angel's getting some! Good on you, mate." Spike said happily.
Buffy sat up and looked over the back of the couch. "What's wrong with you?"
"I'd say he must be under the effect of Lorne.. and Buffy, too, presume- presumally." Wesley said.
"But they do that a lot, so it's hard to tell." Gunn said.
"Prezoomally." Fred snorted.
"Lorne's doing it.. something to all of us." Wesley slurred.
"I am not!" Lorne said.
"Everything he's told us to do, we're doing. Spike's thinking positive, Gunn is peeing all over the office."
"And we're a little bit drunk." Fred said. "And Willow and Dawn didn't come with us cause they were partyin! WOO!"
"Yes. But not because we drank, because Lorne told us to be drunk."
"Lorne told you to pee all over the office?" Angel asked Gunn.
"Lord, I hope so." Gunn said.
"This is crazy. I am not doing this." Lorne said. "I would know if I was doing this. I don't even know what this is."
"You know, I really love your guys' desk." Spike said.
"Oh, we like it too. We had sex a couple of times over there." Buffy said. "But.. I don't get it. I thought Lorne was just an empath demon."
"Territory! Wait." Gunn said. "This morning, Lorne told me to stake out my territory."
"Right. Territorial marking, taken a little too literally." Wesley said.
"Hey, guys, keep it in your pants." Fred said to Buffy and Angel who were making out again.
"Ohh. Hey, I did not tell Gunn to go water the ferns. I did not do anything." Lorne said.
"You had your sleep removed." Gunn said.
"What?" Wesley asked.
"Yeah. He hasn't slept in a month."
"Oh, dear. An empath demon deprived of sleep for that long.."
"What does that have to do with it?" Lorne asked.
"Something, apparently." Fred said.
"Lorne, why would you let them do that to you?" Angel asked. Buffy pulled him back to her.
"I had to do something, didn't I?" Lorne asked. "I mean, you don't know what I've had to deal with. I'm the center of gravity in a town that's full of borderline disorder celebrities and powerbrokers. All the hand- holding and the ego-stroking and the 4 A.M. Jacuzzi strategy sessions.." Wesley caught Gunn peeing in the corner. "I just couldn't keep up with it, even without sleeping."
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell us? I would have.."
"What? Fired me?"
"I would've helped you, which is what I'm gonna do now, ok?" Angel stood. "Ahh." He realized he was naked and used a couch cushion to cover his privates. Buffy giggled.
"Well, I.. ok."
"Wes, Fred, go find Lorne's sleep and figure out a way to put it back in his head."
"Yessir!" Wesley said.
"Done and doner." Fred said. Wesley picked Fred up by the waist as he walked out the door with her.
"Lorne, you just stay tight and try not to, you know, talk.. AH!" Angel looked down at Buffy was scratching and nipping at his thighs.
"Angel, we still got a party going on. Someone has to make sure there's ice in the drinks." Lorne said.
"Oh, right."
"Ooh, ooh! Me! Me! I'm your people person." Spike said, jumping up and down.
"Gunn, go on the floor, see if anyone else is under the Lorne effect."
"Check." Gunn said.
"And stop with the.."
"Do my best." He walked out.
"And, Buffy, you stay here with me, and we'll have more sex."
"I'm way on it." Buffy said, pulling him back down to her.
"Brilliant plan. Excellent." Spike said.
A half an hour later, Sebassis and his gang burst through Buffy and Angel's office door carrying their weapons which resembled crossbows. Angel was still on the floor behind the couch with Buffy while Spike and Lorne were still hanging out at Angel's desk.
"What a fantastic entrance!" Spike said.
"Sebassis?" Angel asked.
"The nerve, the raw nerve to lay a hand on one of mine!" Sebassis said.
"What is this? Lower your weapons."
"These darts are poisoned, vampire. Powerful enough to put you in a coma for a week. Enough to kill any one of them before their next heartbeat." One of the demons pointed a crossbow at Buffy's heart. Angel moved in front of her as she slipped on his jacket. "You murdered Artode. I imagine we were to be next."
"He didn't murder anyone." Buffy said.
"Dress yourself, Angel. You have a public execution to attend."
"What?" Buffy asked. "What the hell is going on?" She slipped on her skirt and shirt and then stood up. "This is a big mistake."
A woman screamed from the lobby. Sebassis looked at his demons and then at Buffy and Angel. "Move."
The crowd cleared from the dance floor as the woman's screams turned into horrified moans. Sebassis and gang lead Buffy, Angel, Lorne, and Spike out into the lobby to investigate, where they found Devlin the 'Human Bean' demon lying on the buffet table, either unconscious or dead. "Oh boy." Lorne said.
"Yeah. Somebody really dipped his chip." Willow giggled.
Sebassis pointed his poisoned arrow at Lorne, then Angel. Angel held up his hands."Ok, Sebassis, I don't know what's going on here, but we are not behind it."
"Enough lies, vampire." Sebassis said.
"Ok, everybody, ok. Yes, the party's taking an unfortunate turn momentarily. So let's not.." Lorne was interrupted by Sebassis cocking his weapon. "Fight."
"That's not fair." Buffy said, stepping up. A demon punched her in the face and she fell back into Angel's arms, her lip split.
"Wait! Please, wait. I'm doing this. It's me. I mean, it's not me." Lorne said. "But I haven't been myself lately. Somehow, I'm making people do things and I'm controlling them." Sebassis pointed the weapon at Lorne. "Whoa."
"Well, then, Pylean, you're making me kill you. Is that consistent with your theory?" Sebassis asked.
Just then, a roar could be heard from the staircase that overlooked the lobby. A giant green creature dressed in a blue suit and purple shirt just like Lorne's jumped down from the balcony, landing right in front of Sebassis. The creature looked like a thick-necked, muscle-man version of Lorne. It growled menacingly at them.
"Oh my God!" Dawn said.
"It's me." Lorne said.
Spike smiled broadly. "That's one bitchin' big suit."
Hulking Lorne smacked one of Sebassis's demons, knocking him down. Sebassis fired a poisoned dart into the massive creature, but to no effect. Sebassis's slave unhooked his leash from Sebassis's belt and snuck away while the fight went on.
"Lorne, what the hell is this?" Angel asked.
"Stop it! Stop killing! Listen to me. Me!" Hulking Lorne smacked Lorne, knocking him down. "Wow, I must really hate myself."
Hulking Lorne walked toward Sebassis, growling and glaring. Angel backed up, protecting Buffy and Sebassis. "Sebassis, run."
Sebassis scurried off behind a pole so he could watch the goings on. Hulking Lorne smacked Angel, sending him across the room. Buffy tried to hit hulking Lorne over the head with a statue, but to no avail. Hulking Lorne shoved Buffy across the room, where she landed on top of Angel.
"Ohh! Oh, sorry about that." Lorne called.
Sebassis tried to crawl away up the stairs, but hulking Lorne went after him. Angel picked himself up and attacked hulking Lorne, punching him repeatedly, but not really hurting him. The lobby elevator doors opened, and Wesley and Fred were inside but facing the wrong way. They turned around and walked into the lobby. Fred was carrying a gun-shaped device.
"It's here! It's manifested!" Wesley said.
"Angel." Fred said.
Hulking Lorne was beating Angel. Fred and Wesley walked up behind Lorne who was watching the fight with horror. Fred pointed the gun up in front of her. "Shoot it, Fred. Now!" Buffy said.
Fred turned and pointed the gun at Lorne's head as he watched the fight. "Oh." Fred pulled the trigger and Lorne collapsed to the ground. "Oh. Ohh! Ohh."
"Oh, my God! They shot Lorney-tunes." Harmony said.
"No. I'm ok. Just gonna rest my eyes a little bit." Lorne said. Hulking Lorne stood over Angel, reared back, ready to pummel him, when he disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. Lorne was snoring.
Buffy and Angel tucked Lorne in under a blanket on their couch. Spike was sitting on Angel's desk next to Eve, who was talking on the cell phone. Willow stood near the door. She said, "That thing.. I think it was a manifestation of Lorne's subconscious. It peeled away from his mind, using Lorne's supernatural powers to punch its way into our world."
"'Punch' is the definitely right word. Why was it trying to kill everyone?" Buffy asked.
"I don't think it was. It may have just been processing the conflicts that Lorne normally deals with in his sleep, acting out on the emotional responses he has to the people around him."
"I guess Lorne makes some judgments after all." Angel said.
Gunn walked in. "Hey, I spoke with Sebassis' people. Explained what I could."
"So what do we got? Lawsuit? Demon war?"
"No. It seems like they enjoy a little blood sport at their social functions. Looks like we're ok."
"We're not ok." Buffy said. "We've been so focused on the dangers outside that we didn't see the ones within. This place is trying to change us. We can't ever forget that."
"Pretty damn good party, though. I'll see you guys tomorrow.. well, today, but later. Oh, and your chair.."
"What?"
"Don't sit in it. I already called janitorial."
"Why can't I.."
"You pissed in the big woman's chair? That's fantastic!" Spike said.
"Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?" Buffy asked.
"What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous."
"All right, guys, good night. Let Lorne get some sleep, all right?" Angel said. "Out."
"All right. Just this once." Spike nodded and left.
Buffy looked at Willow. "Sorry about all of this. I wish we could have had a better reunion."
"Eh, what would our friendship be without the crazies?" Willow asked.
Buffy slung her arm around Willow's shoulders. "Maybe we can go out and get some breakfast?"
"Sounds great to me."
"Angel?"
"Coming." Angel slipped on his jacket and followed the women out.
The party had started and there was disco music playing. A glittery disco ball shimmered in the lights. Harmony was the only person dancing on the dance floor. Fred and Wesley were playing blend-in-with-the-wall. Dawn and Willow were talking excitedly about anything and everything in a quiet corner. Spike was walking around, looking a little freaked out. Buffy and Angel sat in their office watching a hockey game. They had dressed up, but couldn't really bring themselves to really go.
Buffy had on a black skirt, knee high stiletto heeled boots, and a long sleeved, black lace shirt that clung to her and then at the wrists, flared out. She sat in Angel's lap, her head laying against his shoulder. He held her gently, stroking her back.
Lorne breezed in. "Buffy, Angel, it's a graveyard out there, and all the guests wanna meet the new guys in charge."
"Look, Lorne, we.. We, uh, we have things. We're busy." Angel said.
"We're brooding." Buffy said.
Lorne looked at the TV. "Oh, you're watching hockey!"
"Yeah, but my team is losing." Angel said.
"Get up off your keisters and get out there! I can't steer this ship of fools by my lonesome! I just can't do it! I.." Lorne groaned and rubbed his temples in pain as his frustration escalated.
"Lorne?" Buffy asked, sitting up a little straighter.
He looked up, all smiles. "Let's boogie, sweet tarts." Sighing, Buffy got up and Angel held out his arm. She slipped hers through and they followed Lorne out. "Well, so over there we have the Britzai representatives. We can get to them later. Oh, and there's the elder of the Fell Brotherhood. Come on, let's go say hi!" Angel rolled his eyes as he and Buffy went with Lorne. After meeting and greeting a few guests, they ran into Spike.
"What am I doing here?" He asked himself.
"Yeah, Spike. I thought you hated these kind of things." Buffy joked.
"I would've thought the same of BOTH of you."
"Oh, no, they're doing great. They've already not killed, like, 100 guests." Lorne said.
"They don't have to. Party's already dead."
"Oh, really, Spike, would it kill you to be a little more positive? Hmm?"
"The Archduke Sebassis!" A male voice suddenly rang out.
Sebassis walked in and people gathered around him, kneeling and kissing his hands and feet. Lorne looked at Angel. "Mmm. Ok, sports. You're on, and please, for me, can you try to be nice to him? Just this one time, huh?"
"Yes. Fine. Sycophants, worms. Don't writhe all at once. It's sickening." Sebassis said.
"Archduke Sebassis!" Angel called. Sebassis held out his hand to be kissed and Angel shook it instead. "Thanks so much for coming."
"Yes, well.."
"Really, really thrilled that you're here."
Buffy smiled. "Hi Sebassis."
"Mrs. Summers. You're looking pleasing tonight."
"Only the best for our most esteemed guest.
"Artode, welcome. Welcome. Love the jacket, by the way." Lorne said.
"It's Pylean." Artode said.
"Oh, made in Pylea. Ha. My home dimension."
"Not made in, made from. I skinned it myself. Anybody you know?"
"Well, great. Thanks for dropping by. Ha ha." Lorne walked away.
"And you look just.." Angel continued. "Well, I don't have to tell you how awesome you look. You know how awesome you look. He knows how awesome he looks, right?"
"Buffy, Angel, hey." Lorne said. "We don't wanna be greedy with his eminence. Thank you, your lordship."
"Thank you." Sebassis said.
"Absolutely. Really. Thrilled to have you here."
"Bye." Buffy said.
"Okey-dokey! Ok, that'll do it. Thank you. Come on." Lorne pulled them away.
Buffy and Angel headed over to a dark corner and tried to hide. Their hands were all over each other. Angel kept rubbing her back and holding her waist with his free hand while she made little circles on his lower back and gripped his hip with her other hand. She laid her head on his shoulder just as Eve came up.
"I have to say, I'm impressed. I saw you two with Sebassis. I honestly didn't know you two had it in you." She said.
"Yeah, well, it was an act." Angel said, then he glanced at Buffy. "We think."
"I picked up on that from 100 yards away. Yep. You were bangin' it out to the cheap seats."
"Funny. I was gonna say the same thing about that dress." Buffy said.
Eve rolled her eyes and walked away just as Lorne glided up. He noticed Buffy and Angel's cozy position. "Oh, you two. Really. The sexual tension? Oh, with a knife you could cut it, huh? Get a room."
The two glanced at each other and then dashed for the office. Angel and Buffy began making out inside their office, kissing passionately. Buffy jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist. He led them over to the couch and started to fall, but missed and they ended up behind it. Neither cared as they kept going.
Willow and Dawn looked around the room. "This is really weird. They weren't like this an hour ago." Willow said.
"I noticed. Kinda creepy." Dawn said. She looked at Spike dancing with Harmony. "Especially that."
Willow shuddered. "I've never seen Spike dance. No wonder he just stuck to killing things."
"CONGA! WHOO!" Some lawyer yelled to the others.
"Maybe home would be a good idea." Dawn said.
"We should find Buffy and Angel first." Willow looked around. "Did you see where they went?"
"No. I saw them hamming it up with some self-involved demon, but then I lost them."
"Hey, there go Fred and Wesley. Let's see if they know."
"Guys!" Dawn said as she and Willow ran up. "Have you seen Buffy and Angel?"
Fred and Wesley both looked at them. "Um.." Wesley said. "I think they went thataway." He pointed towards the elevators.
"Nononononono." Fred slurred. "They went up there and THEN thataway."
"Are you guys drunk?" Willow asked.
"Quite bloody smashed, thank you." Wesley said. "Have you seen my tutu? I think I lost it."
"Wesley, you don't own a tutu." Dawn said.
"Oh. Well have you seen it anyways?"
Dawn and Willow groaned and walked off. They found Lorne. "Hey Lorne," Dawn said. "Have you seen Buffy and Angel?"
"Yeah! They were standing in the corner all over each other last I saw." Lorne said.
"When was that?" Willow asked.
"Um.. About an hour ago."
"Oh, gee thanks."
"You two should lighten up and have fun like the rest of us. You don't see anyone else worrying about where their friends are!" Lorne moved away with the crowd.
Willow and Dawn looked at each other. "What were we doing?"
"Joining the conga line!" Dawn said, grabbing on.
"OH! Right!" Willow grabbed on to Dawn and congaed off.
Buffy enjoyed the feel of Angel's hands all over her body. They were behind the couch going at it for the sixth time now. Suddenly, voices floated to them. "Come on, guys. I'm telling you I did not do anything." Lorne said.
"Angel? You in here? Ang.." Fred started.
Angel popped his head up from the floor behind the couch where he was naked with Buffy. "Ohh! What?"
"Hey! Angel's getting some! Good on you, mate." Spike said happily.
Buffy sat up and looked over the back of the couch. "What's wrong with you?"
"I'd say he must be under the effect of Lorne.. and Buffy, too, presume- presumally." Wesley said.
"But they do that a lot, so it's hard to tell." Gunn said.
"Prezoomally." Fred snorted.
"Lorne's doing it.. something to all of us." Wesley slurred.
"I am not!" Lorne said.
"Everything he's told us to do, we're doing. Spike's thinking positive, Gunn is peeing all over the office."
"And we're a little bit drunk." Fred said. "And Willow and Dawn didn't come with us cause they were partyin! WOO!"
"Yes. But not because we drank, because Lorne told us to be drunk."
"Lorne told you to pee all over the office?" Angel asked Gunn.
"Lord, I hope so." Gunn said.
"This is crazy. I am not doing this." Lorne said. "I would know if I was doing this. I don't even know what this is."
"You know, I really love your guys' desk." Spike said.
"Oh, we like it too. We had sex a couple of times over there." Buffy said. "But.. I don't get it. I thought Lorne was just an empath demon."
"Territory! Wait." Gunn said. "This morning, Lorne told me to stake out my territory."
"Right. Territorial marking, taken a little too literally." Wesley said.
"Hey, guys, keep it in your pants." Fred said to Buffy and Angel who were making out again.
"Ohh. Hey, I did not tell Gunn to go water the ferns. I did not do anything." Lorne said.
"You had your sleep removed." Gunn said.
"What?" Wesley asked.
"Yeah. He hasn't slept in a month."
"Oh, dear. An empath demon deprived of sleep for that long.."
"What does that have to do with it?" Lorne asked.
"Something, apparently." Fred said.
"Lorne, why would you let them do that to you?" Angel asked. Buffy pulled him back to her.
"I had to do something, didn't I?" Lorne asked. "I mean, you don't know what I've had to deal with. I'm the center of gravity in a town that's full of borderline disorder celebrities and powerbrokers. All the hand- holding and the ego-stroking and the 4 A.M. Jacuzzi strategy sessions.." Wesley caught Gunn peeing in the corner. "I just couldn't keep up with it, even without sleeping."
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell us? I would have.."
"What? Fired me?"
"I would've helped you, which is what I'm gonna do now, ok?" Angel stood. "Ahh." He realized he was naked and used a couch cushion to cover his privates. Buffy giggled.
"Well, I.. ok."
"Wes, Fred, go find Lorne's sleep and figure out a way to put it back in his head."
"Yessir!" Wesley said.
"Done and doner." Fred said. Wesley picked Fred up by the waist as he walked out the door with her.
"Lorne, you just stay tight and try not to, you know, talk.. AH!" Angel looked down at Buffy was scratching and nipping at his thighs.
"Angel, we still got a party going on. Someone has to make sure there's ice in the drinks." Lorne said.
"Oh, right."
"Ooh, ooh! Me! Me! I'm your people person." Spike said, jumping up and down.
"Gunn, go on the floor, see if anyone else is under the Lorne effect."
"Check." Gunn said.
"And stop with the.."
"Do my best." He walked out.
"And, Buffy, you stay here with me, and we'll have more sex."
"I'm way on it." Buffy said, pulling him back down to her.
"Brilliant plan. Excellent." Spike said.
A half an hour later, Sebassis and his gang burst through Buffy and Angel's office door carrying their weapons which resembled crossbows. Angel was still on the floor behind the couch with Buffy while Spike and Lorne were still hanging out at Angel's desk.
"What a fantastic entrance!" Spike said.
"Sebassis?" Angel asked.
"The nerve, the raw nerve to lay a hand on one of mine!" Sebassis said.
"What is this? Lower your weapons."
"These darts are poisoned, vampire. Powerful enough to put you in a coma for a week. Enough to kill any one of them before their next heartbeat." One of the demons pointed a crossbow at Buffy's heart. Angel moved in front of her as she slipped on his jacket. "You murdered Artode. I imagine we were to be next."
"He didn't murder anyone." Buffy said.
"Dress yourself, Angel. You have a public execution to attend."
"What?" Buffy asked. "What the hell is going on?" She slipped on her skirt and shirt and then stood up. "This is a big mistake."
A woman screamed from the lobby. Sebassis looked at his demons and then at Buffy and Angel. "Move."
The crowd cleared from the dance floor as the woman's screams turned into horrified moans. Sebassis and gang lead Buffy, Angel, Lorne, and Spike out into the lobby to investigate, where they found Devlin the 'Human Bean' demon lying on the buffet table, either unconscious or dead. "Oh boy." Lorne said.
"Yeah. Somebody really dipped his chip." Willow giggled.
Sebassis pointed his poisoned arrow at Lorne, then Angel. Angel held up his hands."Ok, Sebassis, I don't know what's going on here, but we are not behind it."
"Enough lies, vampire." Sebassis said.
"Ok, everybody, ok. Yes, the party's taking an unfortunate turn momentarily. So let's not.." Lorne was interrupted by Sebassis cocking his weapon. "Fight."
"That's not fair." Buffy said, stepping up. A demon punched her in the face and she fell back into Angel's arms, her lip split.
"Wait! Please, wait. I'm doing this. It's me. I mean, it's not me." Lorne said. "But I haven't been myself lately. Somehow, I'm making people do things and I'm controlling them." Sebassis pointed the weapon at Lorne. "Whoa."
"Well, then, Pylean, you're making me kill you. Is that consistent with your theory?" Sebassis asked.
Just then, a roar could be heard from the staircase that overlooked the lobby. A giant green creature dressed in a blue suit and purple shirt just like Lorne's jumped down from the balcony, landing right in front of Sebassis. The creature looked like a thick-necked, muscle-man version of Lorne. It growled menacingly at them.
"Oh my God!" Dawn said.
"It's me." Lorne said.
Spike smiled broadly. "That's one bitchin' big suit."
Hulking Lorne smacked one of Sebassis's demons, knocking him down. Sebassis fired a poisoned dart into the massive creature, but to no effect. Sebassis's slave unhooked his leash from Sebassis's belt and snuck away while the fight went on.
"Lorne, what the hell is this?" Angel asked.
"Stop it! Stop killing! Listen to me. Me!" Hulking Lorne smacked Lorne, knocking him down. "Wow, I must really hate myself."
Hulking Lorne walked toward Sebassis, growling and glaring. Angel backed up, protecting Buffy and Sebassis. "Sebassis, run."
Sebassis scurried off behind a pole so he could watch the goings on. Hulking Lorne smacked Angel, sending him across the room. Buffy tried to hit hulking Lorne over the head with a statue, but to no avail. Hulking Lorne shoved Buffy across the room, where she landed on top of Angel.
"Ohh! Oh, sorry about that." Lorne called.
Sebassis tried to crawl away up the stairs, but hulking Lorne went after him. Angel picked himself up and attacked hulking Lorne, punching him repeatedly, but not really hurting him. The lobby elevator doors opened, and Wesley and Fred were inside but facing the wrong way. They turned around and walked into the lobby. Fred was carrying a gun-shaped device.
"It's here! It's manifested!" Wesley said.
"Angel." Fred said.
Hulking Lorne was beating Angel. Fred and Wesley walked up behind Lorne who was watching the fight with horror. Fred pointed the gun up in front of her. "Shoot it, Fred. Now!" Buffy said.
Fred turned and pointed the gun at Lorne's head as he watched the fight. "Oh." Fred pulled the trigger and Lorne collapsed to the ground. "Oh. Ohh! Ohh."
"Oh, my God! They shot Lorney-tunes." Harmony said.
"No. I'm ok. Just gonna rest my eyes a little bit." Lorne said. Hulking Lorne stood over Angel, reared back, ready to pummel him, when he disappeared in a puff of blue smoke. Lorne was snoring.
Buffy and Angel tucked Lorne in under a blanket on their couch. Spike was sitting on Angel's desk next to Eve, who was talking on the cell phone. Willow stood near the door. She said, "That thing.. I think it was a manifestation of Lorne's subconscious. It peeled away from his mind, using Lorne's supernatural powers to punch its way into our world."
"'Punch' is the definitely right word. Why was it trying to kill everyone?" Buffy asked.
"I don't think it was. It may have just been processing the conflicts that Lorne normally deals with in his sleep, acting out on the emotional responses he has to the people around him."
"I guess Lorne makes some judgments after all." Angel said.
Gunn walked in. "Hey, I spoke with Sebassis' people. Explained what I could."
"So what do we got? Lawsuit? Demon war?"
"No. It seems like they enjoy a little blood sport at their social functions. Looks like we're ok."
"We're not ok." Buffy said. "We've been so focused on the dangers outside that we didn't see the ones within. This place is trying to change us. We can't ever forget that."
"Pretty damn good party, though. I'll see you guys tomorrow.. well, today, but later. Oh, and your chair.."
"What?"
"Don't sit in it. I already called janitorial."
"Why can't I.."
"You pissed in the big woman's chair? That's fantastic!" Spike said.
"Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?" Buffy asked.
"What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous."
"All right, guys, good night. Let Lorne get some sleep, all right?" Angel said. "Out."
"All right. Just this once." Spike nodded and left.
Buffy looked at Willow. "Sorry about all of this. I wish we could have had a better reunion."
"Eh, what would our friendship be without the crazies?" Willow asked.
Buffy slung her arm around Willow's shoulders. "Maybe we can go out and get some breakfast?"
"Sounds great to me."
"Angel?"
"Coming." Angel slipped on his jacket and followed the women out.