Chapter 12

Buffy was headed down the hall, walking towards her office. Lorne was up ahead talking to Number Five the mailman. "You're an aging sexpot celebrating a decade of turning 29. You got 2 little rugrats that aren't that little, a husband who thinks the extras trailer is a buffet table, and gravity ain't doing you any favors." Lorne held out two greeting cards. "So 'Happy Birthday, Sexy Mama' or.." Lorne spotted Buffy. "Buffy. Hey, Buffy, sweetie, you're sorta like a woman."

"Oh, that's.. not a compliment." Buffy said.

"Well, I mean, more so than El Cid here. I need some insight. You're an aging.."

"I heard." Buffy smiled. "Don't send a card, don't mention her birthday, send a big bunch of flowers just because she's special and perfect and eternally blah-di-blah."

"Huh! Staring me right in the face. Genius."

"And I'm a lot like a woman." Buffy started to walk on. "Hi Number Five."

"Oh, you're all woman. You're everywoman. You're Wonder Woman!" Lorne called after her.

"Damn straight." Buffy called back. She headed to her office where Gunn caught up to her. "Hey Gunn."

"Hey Buffy. Your husband in there?" Gunn asked.

"Should be."

"Good, cause I need both of you to sign these contracts."

"Uh.. Sure." She opened the door to her office. Angel looked up from the desk. "Hi honey."

"Hey baby." He stood and came over to kiss her. "Hi Gunn. What's up?"

"I don't want any kisses. I just want signatures." Gunn said.

"Ok."

"Come on boys, conference room." Buffy said. She led them over to the table and they sat down. Gunn handed each of them a fancy pen. Angel signed his name on a contract and then Buffy did the same right next to it.

Angel noticed the deep red color of the ink. "Is that blood?"

"Yeah, but it's ok. It's yours. Each pen has your blood in it." Gunn said.

"Huh." Angel continued signing. "And how is that ok?"

"Demon law requires blood signatures on all legal documents. Your guys' Herbie Hancock here locks and loads these docs. Then I take 'em into court and fire away."

"Locks and loads. Got it."

"As C.E.O.s and presidents of Wolfram & Hart, you guys just bankrupted a company that dumps raw demon waste into Santa Monica bay, banished a clan of pyro warlocks into a hell dimension, and started a foster care program for kids whose parents have been killed by vampires. Not bad for a day's pay."

"Awe, we started a foster care program? Yay us." Buffy said.

"Yeah. Great." Angel said.

"Look, I know legal weasels and business deals aren't as heroic to you as rescuing young honeys from tumescent trolls, but I love what we do." Gunn said.

Buffy scrunched up her face. "Tumescent.. trolls?"

"Went a little Johnnie Cochran on ya. You know, for the first time in my life, I can't wait to get to work in the morning. You guys have always had your special powers. Now I have mine."

"Isn't that special!" Spike said, sitting on the table. "We all have special powers. Anybody wanna trade? I'll swap ya two-for-one. Walking through walls, picking up mugs.." Which he did. "In exchange for.. I don't know, how about me not being dead?"

"How about you not being here?" Angel said.

"If wishes were horses.."

"Play nice you two." Buffy warned. Angel stood and looked out the window. "Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah. Fine. Like Gunn said, not bad for a day's pay." Angel said.

"Sweetie, I know you hate working here.. what with the bureaucracy and the fact that most of our employees want us dead. But Gunn told me yesterday that in-house attacks are down 30% this week. And we've done more good here in a month than Angel Investigations and the Scooby Gang did in a year."

"I know, I'm just.. I don't know, just feeling a bit.."

"Squishy?" Spike cut in.

"Disconnected."

"Are you serious? Here you are, finally living a piece of the high life.. new clothes, new cars, my old tumble fetching you tasty snacks, your beautiful, faithful, ever loving wife at your side.. and what's your gripe? 'I feel disconnected.' You want to feel disconnected, try being a bloody ghost for a bit. Try bobbin' around with no touch or taste or smell. Not many fates worse than that, I'd wager." Number Five walked into the office pushing his mail cart. "Ok, maybe that."

"Leave him alone Spike." Buffy said.

"Who? The Masked Mailman or Peaches?"

"Both of them."

Gunn patted Angel's shoulder. "I know what you're saying about the disconnect. Much as I love the legalese, gotta admit, I miss mixing it up sometimes, you know? I miss getting my hands dirty."

Wesley walked in with a report. "Then you'll be interested in this. 3 people found with their hearts cut out in East Los Angeles, all within the last couple of hours. The police are on it, but my sense is it's more demonic than some murderous nut job" Number Five pushed his cart out of the room.

"So we're ruling out demonic nut jobs, then, are we?" Spike asked.

"Hush Spike." Buffy said. She looked at Wesley. "We should check it out."

"Right." Angel said.

"Yo! You missed one." Gunn called after Number Five.

"I'll get it." Angel took the envelope from Gunn and went after Number Five. "Wait! Wait. Hold up for a second."

Buffy turned to look at the others. "Ok guys, weapons all around. But nothing to flashy there could be civil.." She was cut off when Angel came flying through the windows. "Angel!"

"I really hate this place." Angel sat up amidst the shattered glass that once was the office wall. "Ow."

Buffy kneeled next to him. "Are you ok? What happened?"

"The mail guy threw me."

"What?" Gunn asked.

"Number 5?!" Spike asked. "He did this? Isn't he like 100 years old?"

"Kinda hard to tell with the mask." Angel retorted.

Gunn opened his cell phone. "Angel was attacked. Lock it down. No. One of ours. The mail guy, Number Five."

"Why did he attack you?" Buffy asked.

"I was trying to give him the mail?" Angel said.

"Security's on it. We'll find him." Gunn said.

"Look, this is just a thing. Maybe I, you know, startled him or something."

"I'm not taking any chances. This is Wolfram & Hart. You have enemies everywhere."

Fred walked up to the office, noticing the broken glass. Spike spotted her. "Hey! Fred! Did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy."

"What?!" Angel asked, standing up.

"Not Number Five? You didn't hurt him?" Fred said, rushing over to the doors.

"No. I.. He attacked me."

"We should find him." Wesley said.

"Absolutely. Wanna buy him a pint. Bloody made my day." Spike said.

"Spike, shut up." Buffy said, agitated.

Gunn's cell phone went off. "Gunn. Good. Great. Security found him. They're escorting him off the premises. You do wanna fire his masked ass, don't you?"

"Um, I don't.." Angel started.

"I think it's best." Wesley advised.

"Look, really, I'm fine. Let's just get back to the bod.."

Lorne walked into the office. "Holy tornado! It's true!"

"Yeah. It was amazing. Angel went right off on the mail guy." Spike said.

"Oh, this must've been one major smackdown."

"There was no smacking." Angel said.

"That's not the hubbub I'm hearing, honeybuns. Word on the web has you sucker-punching Grandpa Moses."

"The web?" Buffy and Angel both asked.

"Don't sweat it, sweetie pies. I've got my flak catcher spinning this into P.R. gold. Once the word spreads you beat up an innocent old man, well, the truly terrible will think twice before going toe-to-toe with our avenging Angel."

"Yes. The geriatric community will be soiling their nappies when they hear you're on the case." Spike gave Angel a thumbs-up. "Bravo."

"Spike, shut up." Buffy said.

"What're you gonna do? Hit me?"

"I know where that amulet's at and it won't take me long to get to a graveyard."

"I didn't beat anybody up, ok?" Angel said. "So let's just focus on what's important, like Wes' bodies."

"Wesley has bodies?" Fred asked.

"Someone found 3 bodies." Buffy said.

"Four." Wesley said. "Another one was just found in a church after an All Souls' mass."

"All souls?"

"Prayers for the departed."

"You should know that, being departed and all." Spike said to Angel. Buffy glared at him.

"Tonight was a special service. It's the Mexican day of the dead."

Angel was driving a red convertible classic car down the damp streets of Los Angeles, with Buffy seated in the front seat. Gunn and Wesley were in the back seat with Spike sitting between them. "Still not sure why blondie ghost tagged along." Gunn said.

"Not much choice really, is there?" Spike said. "Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy."

"Gross Spike." Buffy said.

"What? Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playing Agatha Christie while the Slayer takes down the demon."

"She doesn't always take down the demons." Gunn said defensively.

"Oh please, the last couple'a demons you people have gone up against, she's stepped up and taken em down."

"Not Lorne."

"That's cause if she killed that big oaf, the original Lorne pro'ly woulda died."

"Spike, enough with the tales. I got enough of it from Andrew last year." Buffy said.

"Hey, you weren't even there. I had to put up with more of it."

The Slayer rolled her eyes. "Guys, weapons check."

"Nothin' wrong with that." Gunn said, checking out his axe. "We may need these bad boys if we're going up against some Mexican day of the dead heart- suckin' monster."

"Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile..." Wesley started.

Angel swerved the car off to the side of the road, stopping it with a screech near the entrance of an alley that had been decorated with dolls. He got out and headed down the alley. Buffy grabbed her sword and followed.

"Always was a bit of a drama queen." Spike said.

"Shut up Spike." Buffy said. She caught up with Angel and found him staring at the heartless body. "You know that dinner we were planning on having with Willow and Dawn? Let's reschedule, huh?"

The others walked up. "Too late." Spike said.

"So you what, heard his scream?" Gunn asked.

Angel walked away in disgust. Wesley inspected the body, which had a gaping bloody hole in the middle of the chest. Buffy looked over at Angel and then at Gunn. "He smelled the blood."

"Nothing grabs a vamp's attention like the ruby red." Spike said.

"Notice no matter how uptown we go, we always wind up in some stanky hole in the middle of the night?" Gunn asked.

"Angel! His heart's missing." Wesley said. "Looks like it was cut out with some sort of crude knife. And based on these blood spatters, I'd say it was still beating when it was removed."

Buffy walked over to Angel and kissed his shoulder. He took her hand and brought her around to stand in front of him. "The blood's fresh. This just happened."

"So whatever did this might still be close." Buffy said.

"How close?" Gunn asked.

"I'd say 10, 11 feet." Spike said, looking behind the others.

The gang was face-to-face with a snarling demon dressed in some sort of armor, complete with plumed helmet. The demon had lots of pointed teeth and wrinkly yellowish-gray skin. The demon was armed with a sword, and Angel engaged it using his sword to block its swings. Wesley grabbed his shotgun, Gunn had his axe, Buffy had her sword as she jumped in with Angel, and Spike looked around for a weapon of his own. The demon overpowered Angel and threw him into a pile of boxes across the alley. Buffy dodged blows and got in a couple of good ones, but the demons grabbed her by the throat and hauled her up. Wesley pointed the shotgun at the demon and pulled the trigger, but the shots didn't stop the demon. Three rounds later, the demon punched Wesley, sending him across the alley as well. It still held Buffy who was kicking with all her might. Gunn swung his axe into the back of the demon, who shrieked and dropped Buffy.

"How you like that, sparky?" The demon turned toward Gunn and snarled. "Ok, so next time, I hold onto the axe." The demon swings punched at Gunn, who backed up.

"Not that way, you git!" Spike said. He saw a nearby 2"x4" plank of wood. "Now focus." He reached for the plank and swung at the demon and realized he was empty-handed. "Bloody useless!"

Angel got up and walked toward the demon, who pushed a dumpster at Angel. Buffy dove at the demon again and he punched her in the side, sending her crashing into the chain-link fence and then ran away. She held her side as she got up and looked at Angel. "See, she's always got the last blow." Spike said.

Back at the office, Buffy sat painfully on the desk letting Willow check out the nasty bruises on her throat and side. "At least you're not bleeding for once." The red headed witch said.

"But those bruises look nasty." Spike said.

"I think you may have a broken rib, but other than that you're ok." Willow said, letting Buffy's shirt fall gently.

"You think you can do a glamour and hide these marks on my neck?" Buffy asked hoarsely.

"Sure. I'll get on it."

Angel walked in. "You ok?"

"I'll heal." Buffy said. She took the glass of water Spike offered her. "Thanks."

"Where you going?" Angel asked Willow.

"I'm going to see if Wesley has the supplies for me to do a glamour on Buffy." Willow said, walking out.

"Whoa, whoa.. You're gonna let her put a spell on you?"

"I just want to hide these bruises." Buffy said. "Can't have people thinking you beat me."

"I would never.. You know that."

"I know that, but other people don't. They're not gonna have ammunition against you, even if it's false."

"She's so caring and courageous. And here you are complaining about your horrible life." Spike said, sitting on the desk next to Buffy.

Wesley handed Angel a file. Buffy was sitting on the couch with Willow and Spike. Angel got up and walked over to them so Buffy could see the file too. "It's an Aztec demon named Tezcatcatl." Wesley said. "We don't know a lot about it yet. Our codex is missing several key pictographs. What we do know is that it's been here before.. 50 years ago to the day."

"The day of the dead." Buffy said.

"Yes, though that may be a coincidence. I'll know better once we determine why it's here in L.A. or what it wants. Wolfram & Hart has a brief record of what happened. According to this, Tezcatcatl rose in the same place, East Los Angeles, killed over a dozen people before it was finally defeated."

"Defeated?" Angel asked.

"Yes, by 5 heroes. Brothers. They were the champions of that time."

"They destroyed the demon?"

"Yes, but at quite a price. The brothers were all killed. All but one."

"Not to be captain obvious, but.. either the brothers didn't really finish the demon off, or it's figured out a way to come back from wherever they sent it." Willow said.

"Either way, best of luck." Spike said.

"You said one of the brothers survived. Is he still alive?" Buffy asked.

"Yes." Wesley said.

"Ok then, Angel and I'll talk to him. I'm sure he'll want to help. Do we have his number?"

"As a matter of fact, we do."