Chapter 16
Buffy walked through the lobby and headed for her and Angel's office. Angel and Spike were walking down the stairs arguing once again. Harmony handed Buffy her mail as she walked by and Angel fell into step with her. Spike moved in front of her and she stopped. "No, Spike."
"You haven't even heard what I was gonna ask." Spike protested.
"I don't need to. The answer's no."
"Buffy!"
She shook her head and kept walking right through him. "Don't whine. You sound like you're four years old."
"Can't a ghost get any respect around here?"
"Again, no."
"Job well done, eh? At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone."
"He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence." Angel said, shutting the door behind him and Buffy. Buffy dropped her mail on the chair and turned around to be scooped up into Angel's arms. He kissed her fiercely and she ran a hand through his thick, dark hair.
"Sorry I didn't come home last night." She said.
"Where were you?" He mumbled into her neck, nipping slightly.
"I was negotiating the terms of turning over.. Eeep!" She giggled as he blew a breath into her ear. "Turning over a shipment of katanas to a band of Barkuk demons. They only come out at a certain time and I was preparing all night for it."
"Isn't that a little dangerous: turning over the katanas?"
Buffy sat on the edge of the desk, Angel between her legs. "No. They're peaceful demons. The leader is a friend of Giles'."
Angel laughed as Buffy ran her fingers lightly over the small of his back. It was the only spot he was really ticklish in and Buffy was the only one who knew that. Suddenly, there was a thud on the door. Buffy's hands stopped and Angel's lips parted from hers. They looked over, expecting one of their friends to walk in. When no one did, Angel walked over to the door and opened it. After he stood there for a second, not moving, Buffy got curious and walked over. Spike lay sprawled on the floor, his nose bleeding from where he'd crashed into it. All around the office, phones were ringing off the hook.
"Hey. I'm.." Spike touched his chest. "I can feel." He started to touch Angel's chest.
"Hey. Stop touching me." Spike went to touch Buffy, but Angel jumped in front of her. "Watch it Spike."
Spike licked his lip to discover his nose had bled a bit from his run-in with the door. "Mmm! I can.." He grabbed a mug from Harmony's hand.
"Hey, that was supposed to be mine."
"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Oh, God. It's bloody ambrosia. Is this otter?"
"Hey, what's going.." Gunn asked, walking up.
Spike hugged Gunn. "I'm back, Charlie boy! That's what's going!"
"He's corporeal. When did this.. I mean, how?"
"We don't know. He just.." Buffy shrugged.
"I got it. It must've been that box of flash I got in the mail." Spike said.
"You got.. from who?"
"Don't know, don't care. But if you see him, give him a bloody kiss on the mouth for me."
"Harmony, what is going on with the phones?" Angel asked.
"Nobody knows. It's, like, all over the office. And all there is, is eee! on the other end. Plus, now my computer's freaking."
"Harm." Spike grabbed Harmony passionately and kissed her.
"Get off." She pushed Spike away, disgusted. "Ew."
"That's the idea." Spike looked at Buffy and Angel. "I need to borrow your Gal Friday for a bit."
"Permission denied." Angel said.
"I wasn't asking." Spike grabbed Harmony by the wrist and started walking away.
"My God!" Harmony wrenched her wrist away from him. "Oh, my God. What? You think just 'cause you're all.. solid now, that I'm gonna go.."
"That's a very pretty skirt you're wearing."
Harmony tried to maintain her anger with Spike, but he kept giving her that sexy look and she melted, no longer able to suppress a smile at the thought. "Taking a long lunch, bosses." Spike took Harmony by the hand, leading her down the hallway.
***
Twenty minutes later, Buffy shook her head and looked at Angel as they walked through the lobby. "What the hell is going on here?"
"I don't know." Angel said, looking around the lobby. He grabbed one of the office personnel. "Kill 'em. All of 'em. The phones, the computers, shut 'em down. Find out if we got some kind of bug in the system and who put it there."
"Figure we're under some kind of attack again?" Gunn asked.
"We don't know what to figure yet."
Fred and Dawn ran down the stairs. "Angel?"
"Oh, let me guess. The lab computers are on the fritz."
"Well, yeah, but that's just the tip of the fritzberg." Dawn said.
"The needles on our atmospheric gauges suddenly started spiking into red. Totally blew out the instruments." Fred said.
"Sounds like some kind of electrical surge, like what's affecting our phones and everything." Buffy said. They walked into her and Angel's office.
"Well, yeah. That's what we thought at first, but we think it might be something else."
"Never simple, is it?" Angel picked up his mug. "He drank all my blood. Harmony!"
"She's off having a nooner with Blondie Bear, remember?" Gunn said.
"She's what?" Dawn asked.
"You know, nooner. When you have sex in the middle of.."
"Enough said Gunn." Buffy said.
"You said she's with Spike?" Fred asked.
"Uh, yeah. He's corporeal again."
"Corporeal?" Dawn asked. "As in he can be touched and touch back corporeal?"
"Yeah. He got something in the mail. Flash, bam, boom.. he's a solid citizen again." Gunn said.
"Oh, my God why didn't you call me?" Fred asked.
"I'm sorry." Angel said. "We just, you know, we've had our hands full dealing with the glitch in the office system.. which just so happens to coincide with Spike being back, and I can't believe I'm just getting that."
"You've always been a little slow." Buffy retorted.
"You think whatever recorporealized Spike's doing a number on the building?" Gunn asked.
"Well, obviously they're connected." Fred said. "Maybe when Spike's matter was reintegrated into physical form, it had some sort of ripple effect on the immediate environment. Or, if those gauge readings are correct, it could be the start of something bigger, like.."
"The entire universe thrown into catastrophic turmoil?" Eve said from the doorway. They all turned. "Cause that's what's happening, kids."
"So you know what's going on?" Buffy asked.
"Only what I'm told. Corporate seers alerted me to the situation."
"Which is?"
"It's a harbinger."
"Harbinger? As in Bringer? As in those creepy guys with no eyes and big pointy knives? I thought we got rid of those."
"Not Bringers. A harbinger. Upshot is we've got trouble with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for prophecy. Shanshu. Maybe you've heard of it?"
"Oh, God. That again." Angel said. "Yeah, I'm familiar. So?"
"So it talks about a champion. A vampire with a soul who'll play a pivotal role in the apocalypse. For good or evil. Anybody's guess. That part's hazy."
"I thought the Shanshu had to do with Angel becoming human again after.." Dawn started.
"That's just the epilogue, princess. And, for the record, the prophecy doesn't call Angel by name."
"Hold on. You're saying because Spike's back, you think he's.." Buffy asked.
"I don't think anything. All I can tell you is his very existence is disrupting the order of things."
"No argument here." Angel said.
"This doesn't add up. There were already 2 souled vampires in the universe before Spike fried. Why is this happening now?" Buffy asked.
"The keyword here is champion." Eve said. "Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids."
Gunn walked toward the door. "Where are you going?" Angel asked.
"To check on something." Gunn left.
"You knew this would happen." Fred said to Eve. "All that time I was working on recorporealizing Spike, you never mentioned.."
"Hey, would've said something if I'd known, sweetie." Eve said. "My universe, too, you know. How'd you pull it off, by the way, bringing Spike back? You guys.. did do it, right?"
"Something came in the mail for him." Angel said.
"The mail? Like the amulet."
"Yeah. Never did find out who sent it."
"The senior partners, maybe?" Buffy asked.
"Watch the accusatory stares, kids. I only know.."
"What you're told. Right. So, the seers told you the phones and all were a harbinger. Of what?"
"Something worse. And seriously dangerous."
"What do you mean, dangerous?" Angel asked.
There was a knock on the door and one of the security guards walked in. "Um.. Mr. and Mrs. Angel? I think you guys might like to see this."
***
Medics pulled a sheet over the body of the man Jerry killed with a fire extinguisher. Jerry was wheeled away on a stretcher, tied down with restraints. "Self-centered jerks!" He laughed maniacally, thrashing. "A little thing called being considerate!" A medic gave him a tranquilizer shot. "Replace.." He passed out.
Buffy, Angel, and Eve were talking to Lorne, who was sitting on a box of papers near the copier, holding a handkerchief to his forehead. Written in blood on the wall above the copier was the word TONER.
"Yeah, well, then I see Mr. Considerate here, covered in blood, making mashed potatoes out of this fella. And before I could get to, 'What's wrong with this picture?' he clocks me right in the coconut." Lorne said.
"We have 2 more attacks. One fatality." A security guard said.
"Ok, seal off the building. Nobody in or out till we know what we got here. Spell, virus, mass hysteria." Angel said.
"Yes, sir." The guard picked up his radio. "All channels, we have a code black. Affirmative. We are closing Pandora's Box."
"Hey, say, fearless leaders, uh, if you don't mind, what do you say I, uh, nurse this bump with an ice pack while I barricade myself in my office, huh?" Lorne asked.
"Your call." Angel said. "Stop by the lab and tell Fred we need to know the second she figures out what's causing this."
"Hey, Lorne, do me a favor first." Buffy said. "And also grab my sister and barricade her with you."
"Yeah, gotcha." Lorne left.
"Come on, you two. You know what's causing all this." Eve said.
"No, Eve. We don't." Buffy said.
"This is just the beginning. The fabric of reality is starting to unravel. For my money, it all comes down to Angel and.." Spike walked out of an, closing the door behind him.
"Spike." Angel said.
"I don't know what you're putting in the water coolers around here, but your secretary just started crying blood and tried to rip me a few new ones." Spike said.
"Harmony?"
"Had to put her porch lights out. For the best. I'm sure you guys understand."
"Oh, yeah. You're a real hero."
"And that's our problem in a nutshell." Eve said.
"Our problem?" Spike asked.
"Eve's got this theory." Buffy said.
"Fact, babe." Eve said. "There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad."
"Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?" Spike asked.
"No, she's blaming it on you." Angel said.
"This town might not be big enough for the both of you." Eve said.
"Well, screw this town, then. Screw this devil's funhouse." Spike started to walk away. He turned and pointed at Angel. "And screw you for good measure. I think I'll take the new flesh and bones across the pond back to Europe. See ya later Buffy!"
"Spike, by town, I mean this entire plane of existence." Spike stopped at the elevator. "You won't solve this disequilibrium by leaving. You might even make it worse."
Gunn stepped off the elevator loosening his tie, his eyes wide with fear. "Let's not make it worse. We don't want worse. I just went to the white room to see what the big cat had to say."
"And?" Buffy asked.
"Cat's gone."
"Gone?" Eve asked.
"The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss. You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound."
"Cat's gone means the conduit's gone means we're alone in this. No contact with the senior partners. Just us and a big, gaping tear in the balance of the universe."
"Spike.. stay." Angel said. Spike shot a glance at Angel. "Please. Europe'll still be there after we've worked this out."
"Maybe." Buffy said.
"Probably."
Spike let the elevator doors close. "How exactly are you gonna work this out? You tell me we're making a tear in the galaxy or whatnot? You think you're just gonna sew that back up?"
"If there was just some way to determine which one of you the prophecy's really about, maybe.." Eve said.
"I just read the Shanshu prophecy, and I'm telling you, there was nothing in it.." Angel said.
"Hold on." Spike said. "You read the prophecy? The one you don't believe in?" Angel rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Uh, load of rubbish, you said? Well, isn't that bloody interesting."
"Spike, shut the hell up." Buffy snapped. He looked at her in shock. "This is serious. You need to shut your yap and play along with the other puppies for once."
"No offense, Angel. What we need is someone who's an expert on the Shanshu scriptures." Gunn said.
"Fine, but Wesley's not here." Angel said.
"No, but his department is. Maybe somebody there can.." Eve started.
"Do what? I'm telling you, I read the prophecy."
***
Angel sat in a chair in front of Sirk's desk, Buffy was seated beside Angel holding his hand, and Eve, Gunn, and Spike were standing behind them. "You didn't read the prophecy." Sirk said.
"I didn't?" Angel asked.
"You read a translation of the prophecy. It's like comparing the King James Bible with the original Aramaic, the Hebrew. Much of the flavor, the subtlety of usage, the historical context has been stripped away. Read the prophecy. You may as well have read a 12-year-old's book report on the subject."
"I miss Wesley." Buffy whispered to Angel.
"Ok, Sirk." Angel said. "Point made. Listen, is there anything in the Shanshu that can help us with what's going on?"
"Yeah. What's it say about me?" Spike asked.
"There is a newly translated group of verses which may perhaps prove relevant. 'The root of the tree will split in 2. And each thing will seek nourishment from the buried river.'" Sirk said.
"Sounds like a gardening tip."
"It's metaphor. Please tell me I don't have to explain metaphor to you people."
"Sirk, the text." Angel said.
"Ah. Here we are. 'Storm unleashed. The balance will falter until the vampire with a soul drinks from the cup of perpetual torment.'"
"More metaphor."
"No, that's real."
"So there's a cup." Buffy said.
"Perpetual torment? Just know that's not gonna taste very good." Spike said.
"'He will have the weight of worlds upon him, binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation.. or destroys it.'" Sirk read.
"Uh.. right. So, what's in it for me?"
"The vampire will have his past washed clean."
"And live again in mortal form. Yeah, that part I know." Angel said.
"Yeah, I bet you do." Spike said.
"So, Angel drinks from this cup. Our computers go back on line, phones stop ringing, and people quit turning into homicidal maniacs?" Buffy asked.
"Who says it's Angel supposed to take the swig? Who says it's about him at all?" Spike asked.
"Aw, come on, Spike. You really think this is about you?" Angel asked.
"Oh, why the bloody hell not? Just cause you.."
"Boys, let's focus on the problem at hand. We don't want to be wrong about this." Eve said.
"There is no wrong." Sirk said. "The drinking of the cup is predestined. That can't be changed. Whoever drinks from it was meant to. When one is confirmed as the central figure of the prophecy, the universe should realign itself."
"So, this cup thing. Where is it? Does it say?" Gunn asked.
"It does offer some details, yes. Housed in the hidden city of Petra. Mm- hmm. Disappears during the crusades. Surfaces again at the Vatican. Vanishes in the third year of the inquisition. Then.. yes. Interesting."
"What?" Angel asked.
"It's in Nevada."
"Nevada?" Buffy asked.
"Death Valley, to be exact. 'The earth will thrash and mark the appearance of the cup at the columns.'"
"Columns? That sounds vaguely.." Angel started.
"'And the desert will swallow cup and house whole and..' this can only be loosely translated. 'And the fat lady will sing no more.'"
"Opera."
"Opera?" Buffy asked.
"The Columns was an opera house in Death Valley. It was buried in an earthquake in '38. Made headlines in Los Angeles. That's only a few hours away. I can get there and back before.."
"Angel, we got a seriously major crisis going on here. Might not be the best time to go running after some mystical cup." Gunn said.
"I really don't have much of a choice. If it's there, I'm just gonna have to accept that the prophecy's real, and hope that it stops this madness. In the meantime, you're in charge." Angel stood. "Keep this place quarantined till I get.." He looked around the room. "Where's Spike?"
Buffy walked through the lobby and headed for her and Angel's office. Angel and Spike were walking down the stairs arguing once again. Harmony handed Buffy her mail as she walked by and Angel fell into step with her. Spike moved in front of her and she stopped. "No, Spike."
"You haven't even heard what I was gonna ask." Spike protested.
"I don't need to. The answer's no."
"Buffy!"
She shook her head and kept walking right through him. "Don't whine. You sound like you're four years old."
"Can't a ghost get any respect around here?"
"Again, no."
"Job well done, eh? At least give me Wesley's office. I mean, since he's gone."
"He's not gone. He's on a leave of absence." Angel said, shutting the door behind him and Buffy. Buffy dropped her mail on the chair and turned around to be scooped up into Angel's arms. He kissed her fiercely and she ran a hand through his thick, dark hair.
"Sorry I didn't come home last night." She said.
"Where were you?" He mumbled into her neck, nipping slightly.
"I was negotiating the terms of turning over.. Eeep!" She giggled as he blew a breath into her ear. "Turning over a shipment of katanas to a band of Barkuk demons. They only come out at a certain time and I was preparing all night for it."
"Isn't that a little dangerous: turning over the katanas?"
Buffy sat on the edge of the desk, Angel between her legs. "No. They're peaceful demons. The leader is a friend of Giles'."
Angel laughed as Buffy ran her fingers lightly over the small of his back. It was the only spot he was really ticklish in and Buffy was the only one who knew that. Suddenly, there was a thud on the door. Buffy's hands stopped and Angel's lips parted from hers. They looked over, expecting one of their friends to walk in. When no one did, Angel walked over to the door and opened it. After he stood there for a second, not moving, Buffy got curious and walked over. Spike lay sprawled on the floor, his nose bleeding from where he'd crashed into it. All around the office, phones were ringing off the hook.
"Hey. I'm.." Spike touched his chest. "I can feel." He started to touch Angel's chest.
"Hey. Stop touching me." Spike went to touch Buffy, but Angel jumped in front of her. "Watch it Spike."
Spike licked his lip to discover his nose had bled a bit from his run-in with the door. "Mmm! I can.." He grabbed a mug from Harmony's hand.
"Hey, that was supposed to be mine."
"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Oh, God. It's bloody ambrosia. Is this otter?"
"Hey, what's going.." Gunn asked, walking up.
Spike hugged Gunn. "I'm back, Charlie boy! That's what's going!"
"He's corporeal. When did this.. I mean, how?"
"We don't know. He just.." Buffy shrugged.
"I got it. It must've been that box of flash I got in the mail." Spike said.
"You got.. from who?"
"Don't know, don't care. But if you see him, give him a bloody kiss on the mouth for me."
"Harmony, what is going on with the phones?" Angel asked.
"Nobody knows. It's, like, all over the office. And all there is, is eee! on the other end. Plus, now my computer's freaking."
"Harm." Spike grabbed Harmony passionately and kissed her.
"Get off." She pushed Spike away, disgusted. "Ew."
"That's the idea." Spike looked at Buffy and Angel. "I need to borrow your Gal Friday for a bit."
"Permission denied." Angel said.
"I wasn't asking." Spike grabbed Harmony by the wrist and started walking away.
"My God!" Harmony wrenched her wrist away from him. "Oh, my God. What? You think just 'cause you're all.. solid now, that I'm gonna go.."
"That's a very pretty skirt you're wearing."
Harmony tried to maintain her anger with Spike, but he kept giving her that sexy look and she melted, no longer able to suppress a smile at the thought. "Taking a long lunch, bosses." Spike took Harmony by the hand, leading her down the hallway.
***
Twenty minutes later, Buffy shook her head and looked at Angel as they walked through the lobby. "What the hell is going on here?"
"I don't know." Angel said, looking around the lobby. He grabbed one of the office personnel. "Kill 'em. All of 'em. The phones, the computers, shut 'em down. Find out if we got some kind of bug in the system and who put it there."
"Figure we're under some kind of attack again?" Gunn asked.
"We don't know what to figure yet."
Fred and Dawn ran down the stairs. "Angel?"
"Oh, let me guess. The lab computers are on the fritz."
"Well, yeah, but that's just the tip of the fritzberg." Dawn said.
"The needles on our atmospheric gauges suddenly started spiking into red. Totally blew out the instruments." Fred said.
"Sounds like some kind of electrical surge, like what's affecting our phones and everything." Buffy said. They walked into her and Angel's office.
"Well, yeah. That's what we thought at first, but we think it might be something else."
"Never simple, is it?" Angel picked up his mug. "He drank all my blood. Harmony!"
"She's off having a nooner with Blondie Bear, remember?" Gunn said.
"She's what?" Dawn asked.
"You know, nooner. When you have sex in the middle of.."
"Enough said Gunn." Buffy said.
"You said she's with Spike?" Fred asked.
"Uh, yeah. He's corporeal again."
"Corporeal?" Dawn asked. "As in he can be touched and touch back corporeal?"
"Yeah. He got something in the mail. Flash, bam, boom.. he's a solid citizen again." Gunn said.
"Oh, my God why didn't you call me?" Fred asked.
"I'm sorry." Angel said. "We just, you know, we've had our hands full dealing with the glitch in the office system.. which just so happens to coincide with Spike being back, and I can't believe I'm just getting that."
"You've always been a little slow." Buffy retorted.
"You think whatever recorporealized Spike's doing a number on the building?" Gunn asked.
"Well, obviously they're connected." Fred said. "Maybe when Spike's matter was reintegrated into physical form, it had some sort of ripple effect on the immediate environment. Or, if those gauge readings are correct, it could be the start of something bigger, like.."
"The entire universe thrown into catastrophic turmoil?" Eve said from the doorway. They all turned. "Cause that's what's happening, kids."
"So you know what's going on?" Buffy asked.
"Only what I'm told. Corporate seers alerted me to the situation."
"Which is?"
"It's a harbinger."
"Harbinger? As in Bringer? As in those creepy guys with no eyes and big pointy knives? I thought we got rid of those."
"Not Bringers. A harbinger. Upshot is we've got trouble with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for prophecy. Shanshu. Maybe you've heard of it?"
"Oh, God. That again." Angel said. "Yeah, I'm familiar. So?"
"So it talks about a champion. A vampire with a soul who'll play a pivotal role in the apocalypse. For good or evil. Anybody's guess. That part's hazy."
"I thought the Shanshu had to do with Angel becoming human again after.." Dawn started.
"That's just the epilogue, princess. And, for the record, the prophecy doesn't call Angel by name."
"Hold on. You're saying because Spike's back, you think he's.." Buffy asked.
"I don't think anything. All I can tell you is his very existence is disrupting the order of things."
"No argument here." Angel said.
"This doesn't add up. There were already 2 souled vampires in the universe before Spike fried. Why is this happening now?" Buffy asked.
"The keyword here is champion." Eve said. "Spike gave his life to save the world. That gives him the cred. But when he died and became a ghost, case closed. Now that he's back, all bets are off, kids."
Gunn walked toward the door. "Where are you going?" Angel asked.
"To check on something." Gunn left.
"You knew this would happen." Fred said to Eve. "All that time I was working on recorporealizing Spike, you never mentioned.."
"Hey, would've said something if I'd known, sweetie." Eve said. "My universe, too, you know. How'd you pull it off, by the way, bringing Spike back? You guys.. did do it, right?"
"Something came in the mail for him." Angel said.
"The mail? Like the amulet."
"Yeah. Never did find out who sent it."
"The senior partners, maybe?" Buffy asked.
"Watch the accusatory stares, kids. I only know.."
"What you're told. Right. So, the seers told you the phones and all were a harbinger. Of what?"
"Something worse. And seriously dangerous."
"What do you mean, dangerous?" Angel asked.
There was a knock on the door and one of the security guards walked in. "Um.. Mr. and Mrs. Angel? I think you guys might like to see this."
***
Medics pulled a sheet over the body of the man Jerry killed with a fire extinguisher. Jerry was wheeled away on a stretcher, tied down with restraints. "Self-centered jerks!" He laughed maniacally, thrashing. "A little thing called being considerate!" A medic gave him a tranquilizer shot. "Replace.." He passed out.
Buffy, Angel, and Eve were talking to Lorne, who was sitting on a box of papers near the copier, holding a handkerchief to his forehead. Written in blood on the wall above the copier was the word TONER.
"Yeah, well, then I see Mr. Considerate here, covered in blood, making mashed potatoes out of this fella. And before I could get to, 'What's wrong with this picture?' he clocks me right in the coconut." Lorne said.
"We have 2 more attacks. One fatality." A security guard said.
"Ok, seal off the building. Nobody in or out till we know what we got here. Spell, virus, mass hysteria." Angel said.
"Yes, sir." The guard picked up his radio. "All channels, we have a code black. Affirmative. We are closing Pandora's Box."
"Hey, say, fearless leaders, uh, if you don't mind, what do you say I, uh, nurse this bump with an ice pack while I barricade myself in my office, huh?" Lorne asked.
"Your call." Angel said. "Stop by the lab and tell Fred we need to know the second she figures out what's causing this."
"Hey, Lorne, do me a favor first." Buffy said. "And also grab my sister and barricade her with you."
"Yeah, gotcha." Lorne left.
"Come on, you two. You know what's causing all this." Eve said.
"No, Eve. We don't." Buffy said.
"This is just the beginning. The fabric of reality is starting to unravel. For my money, it all comes down to Angel and.." Spike walked out of an, closing the door behind him.
"Spike." Angel said.
"I don't know what you're putting in the water coolers around here, but your secretary just started crying blood and tried to rip me a few new ones." Spike said.
"Harmony?"
"Had to put her porch lights out. For the best. I'm sure you guys understand."
"Oh, yeah. You're a real hero."
"And that's our problem in a nutshell." Eve said.
"Our problem?" Spike asked.
"Eve's got this theory." Buffy said.
"Fact, babe." Eve said. "There's only supposed to be one candidate for the vampire with the soul hero part in the big show. Two of you, and the wheel of destiny starts to spin off its axis. That's why everything and everyone is going mad."
"Hold on a tick. You're blaming this on us?" Spike asked.
"No, she's blaming it on you." Angel said.
"This town might not be big enough for the both of you." Eve said.
"Well, screw this town, then. Screw this devil's funhouse." Spike started to walk away. He turned and pointed at Angel. "And screw you for good measure. I think I'll take the new flesh and bones across the pond back to Europe. See ya later Buffy!"
"Spike, by town, I mean this entire plane of existence." Spike stopped at the elevator. "You won't solve this disequilibrium by leaving. You might even make it worse."
Gunn stepped off the elevator loosening his tie, his eyes wide with fear. "Let's not make it worse. We don't want worse. I just went to the white room to see what the big cat had to say."
"And?" Buffy asked.
"Cat's gone."
"Gone?" Eve asked.
"The white room, too. Elevator just opened up into a howling abyss. You ever heard a howling abyss? Terrible sound."
"Cat's gone means the conduit's gone means we're alone in this. No contact with the senior partners. Just us and a big, gaping tear in the balance of the universe."
"Spike.. stay." Angel said. Spike shot a glance at Angel. "Please. Europe'll still be there after we've worked this out."
"Maybe." Buffy said.
"Probably."
Spike let the elevator doors close. "How exactly are you gonna work this out? You tell me we're making a tear in the galaxy or whatnot? You think you're just gonna sew that back up?"
"If there was just some way to determine which one of you the prophecy's really about, maybe.." Eve said.
"I just read the Shanshu prophecy, and I'm telling you, there was nothing in it.." Angel said.
"Hold on." Spike said. "You read the prophecy? The one you don't believe in?" Angel rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Uh, load of rubbish, you said? Well, isn't that bloody interesting."
"Spike, shut the hell up." Buffy snapped. He looked at her in shock. "This is serious. You need to shut your yap and play along with the other puppies for once."
"No offense, Angel. What we need is someone who's an expert on the Shanshu scriptures." Gunn said.
"Fine, but Wesley's not here." Angel said.
"No, but his department is. Maybe somebody there can.." Eve started.
"Do what? I'm telling you, I read the prophecy."
***
Angel sat in a chair in front of Sirk's desk, Buffy was seated beside Angel holding his hand, and Eve, Gunn, and Spike were standing behind them. "You didn't read the prophecy." Sirk said.
"I didn't?" Angel asked.
"You read a translation of the prophecy. It's like comparing the King James Bible with the original Aramaic, the Hebrew. Much of the flavor, the subtlety of usage, the historical context has been stripped away. Read the prophecy. You may as well have read a 12-year-old's book report on the subject."
"I miss Wesley." Buffy whispered to Angel.
"Ok, Sirk." Angel said. "Point made. Listen, is there anything in the Shanshu that can help us with what's going on?"
"Yeah. What's it say about me?" Spike asked.
"There is a newly translated group of verses which may perhaps prove relevant. 'The root of the tree will split in 2. And each thing will seek nourishment from the buried river.'" Sirk said.
"Sounds like a gardening tip."
"It's metaphor. Please tell me I don't have to explain metaphor to you people."
"Sirk, the text." Angel said.
"Ah. Here we are. 'Storm unleashed. The balance will falter until the vampire with a soul drinks from the cup of perpetual torment.'"
"More metaphor."
"No, that's real."
"So there's a cup." Buffy said.
"Perpetual torment? Just know that's not gonna taste very good." Spike said.
"'He will have the weight of worlds upon him, binding his limbs, grinding his bones to meal until he saves creation.. or destroys it.'" Sirk read.
"Uh.. right. So, what's in it for me?"
"The vampire will have his past washed clean."
"And live again in mortal form. Yeah, that part I know." Angel said.
"Yeah, I bet you do." Spike said.
"So, Angel drinks from this cup. Our computers go back on line, phones stop ringing, and people quit turning into homicidal maniacs?" Buffy asked.
"Who says it's Angel supposed to take the swig? Who says it's about him at all?" Spike asked.
"Aw, come on, Spike. You really think this is about you?" Angel asked.
"Oh, why the bloody hell not? Just cause you.."
"Boys, let's focus on the problem at hand. We don't want to be wrong about this." Eve said.
"There is no wrong." Sirk said. "The drinking of the cup is predestined. That can't be changed. Whoever drinks from it was meant to. When one is confirmed as the central figure of the prophecy, the universe should realign itself."
"So, this cup thing. Where is it? Does it say?" Gunn asked.
"It does offer some details, yes. Housed in the hidden city of Petra. Mm- hmm. Disappears during the crusades. Surfaces again at the Vatican. Vanishes in the third year of the inquisition. Then.. yes. Interesting."
"What?" Angel asked.
"It's in Nevada."
"Nevada?" Buffy asked.
"Death Valley, to be exact. 'The earth will thrash and mark the appearance of the cup at the columns.'"
"Columns? That sounds vaguely.." Angel started.
"'And the desert will swallow cup and house whole and..' this can only be loosely translated. 'And the fat lady will sing no more.'"
"Opera."
"Opera?" Buffy asked.
"The Columns was an opera house in Death Valley. It was buried in an earthquake in '38. Made headlines in Los Angeles. That's only a few hours away. I can get there and back before.."
"Angel, we got a seriously major crisis going on here. Might not be the best time to go running after some mystical cup." Gunn said.
"I really don't have much of a choice. If it's there, I'm just gonna have to accept that the prophecy's real, and hope that it stops this madness. In the meantime, you're in charge." Angel stood. "Keep this place quarantined till I get.." He looked around the room. "Where's Spike?"