Disclaimer: blah blah blah, I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: Alright, I have the feeling that you would all try to kill me if I kept you waiting another day, so here is chapter 23!

Kacie – I know I'm mean, but you will find out about Ron's 'long story' in this chapter (which admittedly isn't long at all, but oh well).
elektra30 – thank you! I definitely had the plot all figured out before I started writing, I have an outline that is pages long that I completed before I began writing. The scene with Lucius was just the scene that sparked my desire to write a fan fic. Originally, Draco was just going to be saving Hermione from a crucio curse, but the more I developed the idea, the less dramatic that seemed to be. Then I had the idea for the potion, and I invented the 'Frozen Death' spell after that, and everything just seemed to come together.
citcat299 – yeah Ron is really thick, he has difficulty getting past his feelings for Hermione.
midnite-goddess – You're welcome, and I figured those would be the questions most people would want to know, which is why I asked them. However, I already know the answers, so I don't really need to answer myself! I guarantee you; the questions will be answered by the end of the fic.
FalconWing – Thanks glad you like it! Will Draco wake up? That's such a good question!
Stella – I explain in theis chapter how everyone figured out they were there. Glad you like it!
Chamei, my1-and-only, trish, theloudone, Jessica Weasley, NeVeRmInD2, nan, SCInfinity, midnite-azn – Thank you all for the reviews!
Twistedtwin – that's exactly why Ron was a prat, and don't worry, the end's coming soon!
shadow-n-the-dark – (evil laugh) I don't know, will he live?
Kara Black – I may be mean, but I'm not mean enough to end it without letting you know what happens to Draco! Glad to hear you like it!
Benji Girl – That's exactly the way I see it, it would be an effective story as a happy ending, or a tragedy, so which will it be? Just wait and see!
ydole3343 – indeed, we are nearing the end, and I'm glad you think I should write more, because I am thinking about it, although I'm definitely going to finish this before I start anything else.
HarryPotterFan670 – Thank you very much! Hope I didn't make you wait too long!
Krazy Krysia – Thank you very much, hope you didn't go too crazy waiting!
Siria – I know, Ron's being a jerk in this story, but oh well, I've always viewed him as kinda dumb and irrational, so that's how I portrayed him. Thanks for the review!
Zuvalupa – Thank you so much! And yes, you will find out what happened to Lucius.
Jessie – OMG wow do you really think so?! Thank you so much! I hope this chapter came quick enough for you!
TheAngelOfDarkness – I'm so happy that you loved the chapter 22 so much! And trust me; I'm updating the chapters as fast as I can! ;o) Hope you like the rest of it!

I hope you enjoy it!!

Chapter 23: Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost

The next day, after getting absolutely no sleep during the night, Hermione made her way to the Hospital Wing before even going to breakfast, however it was empty. Wild thoughts of Draco being dead and of him being back to normal flew simultaneously though her head.

"Who's there?" asked Madam Pomfrey emerging from her office.

"Umm, where's Draco?" asked Hermione.

"Mr. Malfoy has been moved to a secure and private location so that people do not see him here and ask questions about what happened to him."

"Well, can I visit him?"

"I'm sorry Miss Granger, but the answer is no."

"But Mada . . . "

"No, Miss Granger," interrupted Madam Pomfrey sternly.

Hermione sighed dejectedly and exited. Her feet carried her to the Great Hall; she sat down next to her friends, but did not eat anything.

"Hey Hermione," greeted Ron, attempting to engage Hermione in conversation.

"Hmm" answered Hermione.

No one knew what to say to her, they could not imagine what it must feel like to be in love with someone who quite possibly threw away their life to save yours. Well, Harry could vaguely understand because that's exactly what his mother had done, but still he had never actually gotten to know her, and that was a different kind of love anyway.

"Did you go down to the hospital wing?" asked Ginny.

"Mmhmm" answered Hermione.

"How is he?"

"They moved him to a private room so he can't be seen by the other students, no one's allowed to visit him."

"Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry," consoled Ginny,

"Yeah," muttered Hermione dejectedly. "Hey, I was wondering last night, how did you all know where to find us?"

"Well," began Harry, "after about half an hour, we went looking for you in the private room to make sure Malfoy wasn't doing anything to you. We met Dumbledore there; he was going to check on your potion. We found the door open, and were really nervous when we found the room empty. Then, a message came for Dumbledore from the owner of the Hog's Head saying that he had seen a Hogwarts student lurking around there."

Ron picked up there, "Then I found the letter from Lucius, and we knew that you must have gone after Malfoy, but at the time we didn't know why, so we went after you."

"When we got there, we didn't even have time to see what was going on, Dumbledore saw Lucius pointing his wand at you and Malfoy, and he stunned him with some really powerful spell. We couldn't see anything in the blast caused by the spells."

"Lucius tortured Draco for not wanting to join the Death Eaters. When he found me, he performed the cruiatus curse on me," voiced Hermione solemnly.

"NO!" breathed Ron.

"It only stopped when Draco rammed into him. Then Draco came over to me, and Lucius was furious, he was going to perform the freezing curse on me, but Draco pushed me out of the way so it wouldn't hurt me. He knew it would kill him, but he did it anyway to protect me. And that was when you all came in."

"Don't give up hope Hermione," assured Ginny, "Dumbledore wouldn't have told Madam Pomfrey to keep giving him the potion if he didn't think it could work."

- - - - - - - - - -

Over the final few weeks of school, the other students, especially the Slytherins were very curious about Draco's sudden disappearance. However, the professors explained that he had special business to attend to at home, and would be back once it was complete. The school accepted this explanation without question because of the Malfoy's position in the world. Many of the Slytherin's assumed that he was being initiated into the Death Eaters early, so they strutted around the school with unusual arrogance.

The time passed very slowly for Hermione. At first she would ask Madam Pomfrey if she could see Draco daily, yet after a while she gave up trying to see him. She busied herself with studying for exams in order to pass the time. If Harry and Ron had thought that she studied too much in previous years, it was nothing compared to what she did now. If she was not eating or sleeping, both of which she did much less of, she was studying. Her friends continually attempted to pry her away from her books, however, every time they did, she would become moody and annoyed until they let her return to her studying.

After exams, were finished, there was no longer anything to occupy Hermione's mind. She hung out with her friends, but she never participated in what they were doing, her mind was constantly on Draco. Wondering if he was any better, if there was any hope. She tried very hard to be happy, but nothing succeeded in tearing her mind away from Draco. She was often found staring into space with an expressionless gaze, absentmindedly holding the dragon pendant that she had begun wearing again.

Harry, Ron and Ginny didn't know what to say to Hermione. They also didn't know what to think about Draco. After all, he had been the one student in the entire school that they had all hated since the moment they met him, yet, he had sacrificed himself to save Hermione. They found themselves hoping that he was going to be alright, but they were fast losing hope. Surely if his condition had improved Dumbledore would have told them, or he would have at least told Hermione.

One night, three days before the Leaving Ball, Hermione and her friends were sitting by the fire in the common room; Hermione decided that it was time for some answers. Without warning she stood up and determinedly marched across the common room and out the portrait hole. "Hermione?" called Harry as he saw her leaving, "where are you going." But Hermione did not appear to hear him. Harry turned to Ron and Ginny, "should we follow her?"

"Yeah," suggested Ginny, "she's been really depressed lately and I don't have any idea what's running through her head right now."

With that, the three stopped what they were doing and chased after Hermione. She was a good ways down the hall by the time they caught up with her. "Hermione, what are you doing?" asked Ginny.

"I'm going to Professor Dumbledore, if no one's going to tell me what's going on, I'm going to find out for myself!" Hermione continued swiftly making her way through the halls so fast that the others practically had to jog to keep up with her. When they finally did reach the gargoyle, Hermione began yelling out every sweet she could think of from sugar quills to cockroach clusters, but she could not seem to find the right sweet. After two minutes of shouting the names of sweets Hermione was ready to scream with frustration, when the gargoyle suddenly leapt to life and from behind it stepped Dumbledore. A passing glance of surprise at seeing the four students at the entrance to his office passed his eyes, but he knew exactly why they were there.

"Can I help you Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked Hermione, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes Professor!" answered Hermione excitedly. "I came to ask you what's going on with Draco, has he gotten any better? Has he started breathing yet? Please tell me I have to know! Even if it's bad I have to know."

A mysterious look crossed Dumbledore's face. It was almost as if he was hiding something, when he spoke, his voice was calm and quiet, "If I could tell you anything about Mr. Malfoy's condition Miss Granger, I would. I'm sorry." With that, professor Dumbledore nodded his head slightly, and turned to walk down the hallway.

"Please professor! You have to know something!" pleaded Hermione.

Professor Dumbledore paused and turned back to the group of Gryffindors "I'm sorry Miss Granger, but there is nothing I can tell you," he responded with a slight trace of regret in his tone.

Hermione huffed and stamped her foot on the ground. She didn't know what to think anymore, she needed to clear her mind, but she could think of nothing that would help. Dejectedly, she led the group back to the common room.

"Try to look at the bright side," ventured Ginny, attempting to cheer Hermione up at least a bit, "Dumbledore would definitely told you if there was no hope anymore, so that's a good thing."

"I suppose," said Hermione, a questioning look in her eye, "but why wouldn't he give me a straight answer? Maybe he just doesn't want to tell me if something bad has happened because he doesn't want me to cry again."

"Don't give up hope Hermione," consoled Ginny.

"Yeah, right" Hermione sighed, "I'm going to bed; I won't have to think about it if I'm asleep."

Ginny, Ron and Harry nodded and watched Hermione retreat to the girls' dormitory.

"So what do you think is going on with him?" asked Harry once Hermione was out of hearing range.

Ginny shook her head, "I don't know what to think anymore."

- - - - - - - - - -

Hermione found that as soon as she laid her head on her pillow she was suddenly wide awake and restless. 'Great' she thought. With a huff of annoyance, she pulled aside her bed hangings, and making sure none of the other girls were around, she moved to her trunk, opened it and pulled out Draco's journal. She moved back to her bed, and closed the bed hangings. At first she just sat there, tracing her fingers along the silver dragon. After a few moments, she opened the book, and began flipping through the pages; she had never undone the spell that had revealed Draco's entries from the previous year. She was towards the end, searching for what he had written after he had gotten out of the hospital wing after Christmas, however, she never found it, before she got there, she stopped at the entry dated the 23rd of December:

Today, Hermione and I were in the private room, I got swept up in my emotions and tried to go further than Hermione was ready for. I almost made her cry, which I could have hexed myself for. I apologized and assured her that I didn't mean to hurt her, or push her too far, which is entirely true, I would never want to do anything to hurt her. Then I kissed her to show her that I was serious, and, she looked into my eyes, and told me she loved me. I still don't know what to think! She looked just as shocked as I felt with what she said, and she seemed really embarrassed afterwards. She loves me?! How can she know that?! No one's ever loved me before, or even said that they love me. I didn't know what to do, looking back on it I feel like such and arse, but I didn't know what to say. I know that she probably expected me to tell her I love her, but I couldn't just tell her that without being sure it was true could I? She looked disappointed when I didn't say it back. Yet, now that I look back on it, I wish I had had the courage to say the same to her. I've never felt the way Hermione makes me feel, like I would do anything for her. I guess this is what it feels like to be in love, and to be loved in return. I hope she knows that I do love her, and I hope I can find the right time to tell her sometime soon.

Hermione smiled to herself, 'well Draco, you just told me.' Feeling that she had read enough of Draco's personal thoughts for one night, she closed the book, but rather than put it away, she put it under her pillow. She somehow felt closer to him with it there, and a small childish part of her hoped that sleeping with Draco's journal under her pillow would bring good dreams to her in her sleep. "Goodnight Draco," she whispered aloud as she drifted off to sleep.

Slytherin-kittycat gets ready to dodge hexes and curses for not telling the readers anything about Draco's condition. She peeks up above the computer desk long enough to type an explanation.

Before you hex me let me just explain myself . . . . . . ok, well there's no real explanation besides my love of torture (j/k) but isn't it nice that Hermione knows he loved her even all the way back then when she first realized that she loved him? Plus I PROMISE that you will know what happened to Draco in the next chapter. Remember, as always more reviews faster updates, so if you really wanna know, be sure to send a review!