Piper stared at the light brown rim that coffee stained onto her mug. It
was hopeless to do anything now. She couldn't get how anything worked
anymore. First she lost Leo, then Prue, and she had to lose her daughter.
Her little girl.
It hurt too much. It hurt too much to think about it, it hurt to much to breathe. It was hard to live, knowing that she gave her only daughter away. It wasn't fair. It was never fair. She was losing everyone that she loved. Who was next? Paige? Phoebe?
She couldn't take anymore. She didn't want to take anymore. Why did she do all this shit for the Elders and for good if they didn't do much for her. No, she wasn't being selfish. Selfish people don't lose their only children because of a bunch of old people in the clouds. She loved her, even if she was only 2 days old. That little baby brought her pride and joy. Nobody could ever bring that. Nobody.
'But it was for her own good. You can't blame yourself. You can't blame others. You were protecting her.' The thoughts in her mind told her. If she was protecting her, then why did she feel like shit inside.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, and then a light tap on her shoulder. She didn't want to turn around. She didn't want to look up. She just kept her eyes fixed on the dark blue coffee mug in front of her. Her arms were crossed, and her legs were spread out.
"Piper, please."
Phoebe's voice rang in her ears. She dared to look up at her face. Phoebe's eyes were sympathetic towards her. Phoebe tried to give her a little smile to cheer her up, but it didn't work. Piper gave a big exhale and straightened up in her chair.
"What."
"Honey," Phoebe said, and started to rub Piper's back lightly. "It's going to be ok.."
"Nothing will ever be ok. Never."
"Piper, you're going to have to learn that this was for her own good."
"I'll never get to see her again."
"She's in a good home."
"I'll never get to see her grow up."
"She'll have wonderful, normal foster parents."
"I'll never get to see her first smile, her first word, her first step."
"She'll be out of danger."
"I miss her." Piper finally mumbled, before breaking into a sob. She could taste the salty tears seeping into her mouth. Phoebe went over to her and hugged her tight. Piper couldn't stop crying. She didn't know if the tears would ever stop. Phoebe kept the embrace.
"I want to hold her in my arms. Phoebe, you have no idea what it felt like, to hold that baby in my arms. I felt nothing like it, and it kills me that I'll never ever be able to have that feeling ever again. It hurts so much."
"You're lucky you even got to have that feeling. I never even got to hold my kid. I lost him to evil."
A thought ran through Piper's mind.
"And I lost mine to good."
~*~*~*~*~14 years later*~*~*~*~*~
Samantha Fielding stared at the second hand smoke rising in front of her face. She looked down from her second story window. Kids were playing in the next yard, and they were having fun. She glanced back to the cigarette in her hand, puffed one last puff and put the cigarette out in the ashtray next to her on the windowsill she was leaning against.
Why did she feel so incomplete? It was times like these that got her smoking. That and it was what the cool kids did. Yeah, that's right. Smoking just seemed to take away her troubles. Uncle Art and Aunt Pam didn't understand. Maybe it was the fact that she knew nothing about her biological parents or didn't know what they looked like at all.
She just felt like there was some big hole in her heart that she needed to replace quickly before she had a nervous meltdown. Maybe it was the fact that she was so different from other kids. Weird de ja vu things happened around her. Sam the freak. Yeah, that was her.
And it's not like she could tell her aunt and uncle that she had weird feelings and instincts about certain things. Every time she sensed something was wrong about someone or that something was going to happen, it came true. Sometimes they didn't, but the majority of the times, it did. It scared her to death. It scared the kids at school and other people to death. Everything was so weird to her. She needed answers. She needed them quick.
She heard a light knock on her door. 'Crap, I smell like smoke.' Was the first thought that came into her head. She grabbed the air freshener next to her and sprayed it all over the room. She quickly shut the window and closed the curtains. She grabbed the book on her desk and opened it quickly and jumped on her bed.
"COME IN!!!" she screamed, glancing nervously at the door. The door opened, and she saw a middle aged guy, with a mix of gray and black on his head, and his glasses slipping down his nose. "Hey honey. Breakfast is served."
Sam smiled at her uncle. He was the sweetest guy in the whole world and she treated him as if he were her dad, or grandpa. "Ok, Uncle Art. I'll be down in a second." She said. He smiled at her and closed the door. She gave a sigh of relief, knowing that he didn't suspect one thing wrong.
Suddenly, he burst through the door again. She quickly looked up at him. He stuck his head out the door. "Oh, and just to let you know, you're reading your book upside down, so if you were doing something that you know you SHOULDN'T be doing, then I suggest you don't do it again if you don't want to be grounded for the next MONTH." He said, putting emphasis on many of his words.
She rolled her eyes and sank down onto her bed. She laid the upside down book onto her eyes and regretted for ever doubting that her uncle would find about her doings. "Yeah, ok." She mumbled from her book.
Sure, her uncle and aunt were the coolest in the world, but she always got caught. She didn't know how they always found out, but it always happened. They were always watching over her. Although when she brings up the subject of her parents they always clear their throat and change the subject and ignore her for the next few hours until she forgot all about it.
It was weird, as if they were her guardian angels or something. She laughed at herself. Yeah, angels.
A/N: I know that this part didn't make any sense. Please forgive me!! This is all I can get through tonight but I'll put more tomorrow I promise!! Please review? I love reviews..they are what get me up in the morning besides the usual Folgers boiling. BTW what the heck happened to Folgers? I never see their commercial anymore which is a shame because I love their tune. "The best part of waking up is Folgers in yourr cupppppp!!" Love that. Ok, I'm done. Hehehehe. Did they go bankrupt or something? Sorry, said I would stop but I'm still rambling!! That reminds me of the time when....
It hurt too much. It hurt too much to think about it, it hurt to much to breathe. It was hard to live, knowing that she gave her only daughter away. It wasn't fair. It was never fair. She was losing everyone that she loved. Who was next? Paige? Phoebe?
She couldn't take anymore. She didn't want to take anymore. Why did she do all this shit for the Elders and for good if they didn't do much for her. No, she wasn't being selfish. Selfish people don't lose their only children because of a bunch of old people in the clouds. She loved her, even if she was only 2 days old. That little baby brought her pride and joy. Nobody could ever bring that. Nobody.
'But it was for her own good. You can't blame yourself. You can't blame others. You were protecting her.' The thoughts in her mind told her. If she was protecting her, then why did she feel like shit inside.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, and then a light tap on her shoulder. She didn't want to turn around. She didn't want to look up. She just kept her eyes fixed on the dark blue coffee mug in front of her. Her arms were crossed, and her legs were spread out.
"Piper, please."
Phoebe's voice rang in her ears. She dared to look up at her face. Phoebe's eyes were sympathetic towards her. Phoebe tried to give her a little smile to cheer her up, but it didn't work. Piper gave a big exhale and straightened up in her chair.
"What."
"Honey," Phoebe said, and started to rub Piper's back lightly. "It's going to be ok.."
"Nothing will ever be ok. Never."
"Piper, you're going to have to learn that this was for her own good."
"I'll never get to see her again."
"She's in a good home."
"I'll never get to see her grow up."
"She'll have wonderful, normal foster parents."
"I'll never get to see her first smile, her first word, her first step."
"She'll be out of danger."
"I miss her." Piper finally mumbled, before breaking into a sob. She could taste the salty tears seeping into her mouth. Phoebe went over to her and hugged her tight. Piper couldn't stop crying. She didn't know if the tears would ever stop. Phoebe kept the embrace.
"I want to hold her in my arms. Phoebe, you have no idea what it felt like, to hold that baby in my arms. I felt nothing like it, and it kills me that I'll never ever be able to have that feeling ever again. It hurts so much."
"You're lucky you even got to have that feeling. I never even got to hold my kid. I lost him to evil."
A thought ran through Piper's mind.
"And I lost mine to good."
~*~*~*~*~14 years later*~*~*~*~*~
Samantha Fielding stared at the second hand smoke rising in front of her face. She looked down from her second story window. Kids were playing in the next yard, and they were having fun. She glanced back to the cigarette in her hand, puffed one last puff and put the cigarette out in the ashtray next to her on the windowsill she was leaning against.
Why did she feel so incomplete? It was times like these that got her smoking. That and it was what the cool kids did. Yeah, that's right. Smoking just seemed to take away her troubles. Uncle Art and Aunt Pam didn't understand. Maybe it was the fact that she knew nothing about her biological parents or didn't know what they looked like at all.
She just felt like there was some big hole in her heart that she needed to replace quickly before she had a nervous meltdown. Maybe it was the fact that she was so different from other kids. Weird de ja vu things happened around her. Sam the freak. Yeah, that was her.
And it's not like she could tell her aunt and uncle that she had weird feelings and instincts about certain things. Every time she sensed something was wrong about someone or that something was going to happen, it came true. Sometimes they didn't, but the majority of the times, it did. It scared her to death. It scared the kids at school and other people to death. Everything was so weird to her. She needed answers. She needed them quick.
She heard a light knock on her door. 'Crap, I smell like smoke.' Was the first thought that came into her head. She grabbed the air freshener next to her and sprayed it all over the room. She quickly shut the window and closed the curtains. She grabbed the book on her desk and opened it quickly and jumped on her bed.
"COME IN!!!" she screamed, glancing nervously at the door. The door opened, and she saw a middle aged guy, with a mix of gray and black on his head, and his glasses slipping down his nose. "Hey honey. Breakfast is served."
Sam smiled at her uncle. He was the sweetest guy in the whole world and she treated him as if he were her dad, or grandpa. "Ok, Uncle Art. I'll be down in a second." She said. He smiled at her and closed the door. She gave a sigh of relief, knowing that he didn't suspect one thing wrong.
Suddenly, he burst through the door again. She quickly looked up at him. He stuck his head out the door. "Oh, and just to let you know, you're reading your book upside down, so if you were doing something that you know you SHOULDN'T be doing, then I suggest you don't do it again if you don't want to be grounded for the next MONTH." He said, putting emphasis on many of his words.
She rolled her eyes and sank down onto her bed. She laid the upside down book onto her eyes and regretted for ever doubting that her uncle would find about her doings. "Yeah, ok." She mumbled from her book.
Sure, her uncle and aunt were the coolest in the world, but she always got caught. She didn't know how they always found out, but it always happened. They were always watching over her. Although when she brings up the subject of her parents they always clear their throat and change the subject and ignore her for the next few hours until she forgot all about it.
It was weird, as if they were her guardian angels or something. She laughed at herself. Yeah, angels.
A/N: I know that this part didn't make any sense. Please forgive me!! This is all I can get through tonight but I'll put more tomorrow I promise!! Please review? I love reviews..they are what get me up in the morning besides the usual Folgers boiling. BTW what the heck happened to Folgers? I never see their commercial anymore which is a shame because I love their tune. "The best part of waking up is Folgers in yourr cupppppp!!" Love that. Ok, I'm done. Hehehehe. Did they go bankrupt or something? Sorry, said I would stop but I'm still rambling!! That reminds me of the time when....