Chapter 27
"I couldn't get Sean Connery until this weekend." Lorne said.
"Ok." Buffy said, walking with the anagogic demon down the hallways.
"So, you're party will be on Saturday."
"Works for me." Buffy looked up as she heard a battered and torn Angel making his way toward them.
"Buffy.... Lorne...." Angel pleaded, trying to hold his stuffing in.
"My little prince!" Lorne said. Angel groaned and collapsed. Buffy and Lorne ran to his side. "Ohh.... what did they do to you?" Lorne picked up Angel in his arms
"Nina.... tried to.... eat me."
"Medic! You're gonna make it, Angel. Just don't stop fighting. Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!"
"Drama queens." Buffy said. "Gimme the puppet husband. I'll stitch him up."
"What?" Angel asked.
"Mom was always mending things and I watched her a lot. I know what I'm doing."
"Fine...."
Lorne handed Angel over to Buffy.
***
Wesley and Fred walked into Angel's office as Buffy put the final touches on the stitches. "It's all in the broadcast." Wes said. "Some very nuanced magic, but we found it, finally."
"Angel.... what happened?" Fred asked.
"Uh...nothing." Angel lied. "It's not important. D-doesn't matter. Go on."
"It's a hidden carrier wave masked by a spell that turns the TV into a 2- way conduit with direct access to the viewer."
"That's how he's been draining energy from the children, and judging from the strength of yesterday's signal...." Wes said.
"Framkin's ready to take out the whole audience."
"The object you described in that secret room is most likely a repository for the children's life force. We'll have to break the binding magic on it."
"Which should free those children and.... reverse your puppet problem."
Hearing those words, Angel gasped and rushed to hug Fred with overenthusiastic gratitude. "I love you guys." Fred smiled, not really knowing how to take it. Angel gathered himself together and stepped back. "Oh.... we'd better get moving. Framkin knows we're onto him. If he's ready to zap his whole audience, he'll pull the trigger today for sure."
"Not him. Them." Gunn said, walking in.
"Gunn." Angel said.
"Framkin's not doing this. It's the puppets. They're demons. The show is possessed. 'Smile Time's' ratings hit an all-time low last year. Framkin made a deal with some devils to bring it back to number one."
"You sure of that?" Buffy asked.
"Dead sure. Every contract signed with the lower planes is filed in the Library of Demonic Congress. You just gotta know where to look. Pretty tricky legalese, too. Framkin must have missed some of the fine print."
"Which allowed them to take over everything." Angel said.
"Including Framkin. These particular devils have a fairly distinctive M.O."
"They've done this before?" Fred asked.
"You see the last few seasons of 'Happy Days'? Point is: you wanna take out 'Smile Time', take out the puppets."
Angel walked back to his desk. "Well, then...." He took a sword off the wall and removed it from its scabbard. "Let's take out some puppets."
Buffy giggled. "Oh my God! That was too cute."
Angel groaned. "Buffy!"
"Sorry." She stifled another laugh. "You're just so damn adorable even as a puppet."
"Let's go."
They walked out, weapons in hand.
***
At the studio, Polo the evil puppet was talking to the camera. "That's it, everyone. Just keep your hands right there. Oh! Ohh.... let it go! Let it all go! After all, it's Smile Time!"
"No, it' not...." Polo turned away from the camera to see Angel standing on the set behind him carrying a sword. "It's time to kick your ass all the way back to hell!"
"You!"
Angel swung his sword and let out a primal yell as he leapt toward Polo. He swung the sword at Polo, but missed. Polo punched Angel. The TV show staff acted as if they couldn't see what was going on around them. They were clearly still under some sort of spell.
"Hey, man! You're ruinin' the show!" One of the puppets said.
Buffy swung her sword and decapitated the puppet. "We're workin' on it." Polo was beating up on Angel and knocked the sword from Angel's grip. Polo punched Angel into the dog house. "Angel!"
"Aah!" Polo yelled. "It's a full-scale attack! Ratio, the nest egg!" Angel grabbed Polo and pulled him into the dog house. "Gah!"
Angel and Polo fought inside the dog house. Angel threw Polo out, and Buffy was standing by with her sword. "I got him!" Buffy started to swing the sword at Polo, but the puppet girl jumped her. "Ahhh!" The puppet girl turned out to be a formidable foe. She tried to break Buff's neck, but ended up spinning them off of the stage. They fell to the ground, and the puppet girl let go of Buffy. When she tried to sit up, the puppet girl jumped her from out of the blue, landing on top of her chest.
"Gimme those pretty eyes!" The puppet girl yelled.
"Get off me freak!" Buffy threw the puppet girl back and shot to her feet. She waited for the puppet to attack again and then caught the girl by the neck. She squeezed hard and then stabbed the girl onto the sword.
"Hey!"
With a fast yank, Buffy decapitated the puppet and dropped the body, stuffing and all, to the ground. "Yuck! I really hate puppets!"
"I'm gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!" Polo yelled. He punched Angel. Angel overpowered him and pushed him to the ground and started choking him. "So.... you got a little demon in you."
"I got a lot of demon in me." Angel's forehead went all bumpy and his fangs descended. "Now, come on!" Angel grabbed Polo and threw him into the tree house, breaking the wood railing. Polo fell on the wooden splinters and fell limp. Angel turned and looked at Buffy. She was trying to suppress a giggle fit. "What?"
"You! That face!" Buffy laughed. "It's creepy and adorable at the same time."
Angel returned to normal and glared at the puppet Polo as it hung in the tree house railing. He straightened his collar and jacket, and turned to face Buffy again. "Are you ok?"
Buffy held up the skewered and dismembered body of the puppet girl. "Oh yeah."
Angel smiled. "Let's get out of here. Puppets creep me out."
***
Angel walked up to the apartment. He had gone to check on things at Wolfram and Hart and to get the breakfast he had ordered for Buffy taken up there. Buffy was still asleep in bed, the sheets covering her. He smiled. She really was beautiful when she slept. After a minute, he touched her face gently. "Hey baby."
"Hi." She said, her eyes still closed.
"Good morning."
"It's morning?"
"Well, it's actually afternoon. But who cares, right?"
She smiled and opened her eyes. "You're still a puppet."
"Yeah."
"It still takes some getting used to."
"Tell me about it. Wes and Fred say my condition's improving, though."
"When are you gonna change back? This bed is big and lonely without you."
"2, 3 days tops." Angel grabbed Buffy's silk robe and handed it to her. "What are you doing for breakfast?"
"It's past lunch." Buffy joked, slipping on her robe and glancing at the clock.
"What are you doing for brunch then?"
She smiled. "What do puppets eat?"
"Let's find out." Angel held out his hand and Buffy took it.
"This is the weirdest thing ever. My husband's a puppet, but he's giving me chances to dismember creepy puppet people and treating me to surprise brunches in the morning." She grinned. "And making me fall in even more love with you."
"I talked to Nina this morning." Angel pulled out Buffy's chair and allowed her to sit down. "I told her that you and I are married and still very much in love."
"What'd she say?"
"She said she was sorry that she didn't get to me first, but you are a very lucky woman to have me."
"She's not mad?"
"Maybe a little, but she'll get over it."
"Good." Buffy kissed Angel's forehead. "I'm starving. Let's eat."
"I couldn't get Sean Connery until this weekend." Lorne said.
"Ok." Buffy said, walking with the anagogic demon down the hallways.
"So, you're party will be on Saturday."
"Works for me." Buffy looked up as she heard a battered and torn Angel making his way toward them.
"Buffy.... Lorne...." Angel pleaded, trying to hold his stuffing in.
"My little prince!" Lorne said. Angel groaned and collapsed. Buffy and Lorne ran to his side. "Ohh.... what did they do to you?" Lorne picked up Angel in his arms
"Nina.... tried to.... eat me."
"Medic! You're gonna make it, Angel. Just don't stop fighting. Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!"
"Drama queens." Buffy said. "Gimme the puppet husband. I'll stitch him up."
"What?" Angel asked.
"Mom was always mending things and I watched her a lot. I know what I'm doing."
"Fine...."
Lorne handed Angel over to Buffy.
***
Wesley and Fred walked into Angel's office as Buffy put the final touches on the stitches. "It's all in the broadcast." Wes said. "Some very nuanced magic, but we found it, finally."
"Angel.... what happened?" Fred asked.
"Uh...nothing." Angel lied. "It's not important. D-doesn't matter. Go on."
"It's a hidden carrier wave masked by a spell that turns the TV into a 2- way conduit with direct access to the viewer."
"That's how he's been draining energy from the children, and judging from the strength of yesterday's signal...." Wes said.
"Framkin's ready to take out the whole audience."
"The object you described in that secret room is most likely a repository for the children's life force. We'll have to break the binding magic on it."
"Which should free those children and.... reverse your puppet problem."
Hearing those words, Angel gasped and rushed to hug Fred with overenthusiastic gratitude. "I love you guys." Fred smiled, not really knowing how to take it. Angel gathered himself together and stepped back. "Oh.... we'd better get moving. Framkin knows we're onto him. If he's ready to zap his whole audience, he'll pull the trigger today for sure."
"Not him. Them." Gunn said, walking in.
"Gunn." Angel said.
"Framkin's not doing this. It's the puppets. They're demons. The show is possessed. 'Smile Time's' ratings hit an all-time low last year. Framkin made a deal with some devils to bring it back to number one."
"You sure of that?" Buffy asked.
"Dead sure. Every contract signed with the lower planes is filed in the Library of Demonic Congress. You just gotta know where to look. Pretty tricky legalese, too. Framkin must have missed some of the fine print."
"Which allowed them to take over everything." Angel said.
"Including Framkin. These particular devils have a fairly distinctive M.O."
"They've done this before?" Fred asked.
"You see the last few seasons of 'Happy Days'? Point is: you wanna take out 'Smile Time', take out the puppets."
Angel walked back to his desk. "Well, then...." He took a sword off the wall and removed it from its scabbard. "Let's take out some puppets."
Buffy giggled. "Oh my God! That was too cute."
Angel groaned. "Buffy!"
"Sorry." She stifled another laugh. "You're just so damn adorable even as a puppet."
"Let's go."
They walked out, weapons in hand.
***
At the studio, Polo the evil puppet was talking to the camera. "That's it, everyone. Just keep your hands right there. Oh! Ohh.... let it go! Let it all go! After all, it's Smile Time!"
"No, it' not...." Polo turned away from the camera to see Angel standing on the set behind him carrying a sword. "It's time to kick your ass all the way back to hell!"
"You!"
Angel swung his sword and let out a primal yell as he leapt toward Polo. He swung the sword at Polo, but missed. Polo punched Angel. The TV show staff acted as if they couldn't see what was going on around them. They were clearly still under some sort of spell.
"Hey, man! You're ruinin' the show!" One of the puppets said.
Buffy swung her sword and decapitated the puppet. "We're workin' on it." Polo was beating up on Angel and knocked the sword from Angel's grip. Polo punched Angel into the dog house. "Angel!"
"Aah!" Polo yelled. "It's a full-scale attack! Ratio, the nest egg!" Angel grabbed Polo and pulled him into the dog house. "Gah!"
Angel and Polo fought inside the dog house. Angel threw Polo out, and Buffy was standing by with her sword. "I got him!" Buffy started to swing the sword at Polo, but the puppet girl jumped her. "Ahhh!" The puppet girl turned out to be a formidable foe. She tried to break Buff's neck, but ended up spinning them off of the stage. They fell to the ground, and the puppet girl let go of Buffy. When she tried to sit up, the puppet girl jumped her from out of the blue, landing on top of her chest.
"Gimme those pretty eyes!" The puppet girl yelled.
"Get off me freak!" Buffy threw the puppet girl back and shot to her feet. She waited for the puppet to attack again and then caught the girl by the neck. She squeezed hard and then stabbed the girl onto the sword.
"Hey!"
With a fast yank, Buffy decapitated the puppet and dropped the body, stuffing and all, to the ground. "Yuck! I really hate puppets!"
"I'm gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!" Polo yelled. He punched Angel. Angel overpowered him and pushed him to the ground and started choking him. "So.... you got a little demon in you."
"I got a lot of demon in me." Angel's forehead went all bumpy and his fangs descended. "Now, come on!" Angel grabbed Polo and threw him into the tree house, breaking the wood railing. Polo fell on the wooden splinters and fell limp. Angel turned and looked at Buffy. She was trying to suppress a giggle fit. "What?"
"You! That face!" Buffy laughed. "It's creepy and adorable at the same time."
Angel returned to normal and glared at the puppet Polo as it hung in the tree house railing. He straightened his collar and jacket, and turned to face Buffy again. "Are you ok?"
Buffy held up the skewered and dismembered body of the puppet girl. "Oh yeah."
Angel smiled. "Let's get out of here. Puppets creep me out."
***
Angel walked up to the apartment. He had gone to check on things at Wolfram and Hart and to get the breakfast he had ordered for Buffy taken up there. Buffy was still asleep in bed, the sheets covering her. He smiled. She really was beautiful when she slept. After a minute, he touched her face gently. "Hey baby."
"Hi." She said, her eyes still closed.
"Good morning."
"It's morning?"
"Well, it's actually afternoon. But who cares, right?"
She smiled and opened her eyes. "You're still a puppet."
"Yeah."
"It still takes some getting used to."
"Tell me about it. Wes and Fred say my condition's improving, though."
"When are you gonna change back? This bed is big and lonely without you."
"2, 3 days tops." Angel grabbed Buffy's silk robe and handed it to her. "What are you doing for breakfast?"
"It's past lunch." Buffy joked, slipping on her robe and glancing at the clock.
"What are you doing for brunch then?"
She smiled. "What do puppets eat?"
"Let's find out." Angel held out his hand and Buffy took it.
"This is the weirdest thing ever. My husband's a puppet, but he's giving me chances to dismember creepy puppet people and treating me to surprise brunches in the morning." She grinned. "And making me fall in even more love with you."
"I talked to Nina this morning." Angel pulled out Buffy's chair and allowed her to sit down. "I told her that you and I are married and still very much in love."
"What'd she say?"
"She said she was sorry that she didn't get to me first, but you are a very lucky woman to have me."
"She's not mad?"
"Maybe a little, but she'll get over it."
"Good." Buffy kissed Angel's forehead. "I'm starving. Let's eat."