Title: Refuse to Dance

Author: Yugure

Rated: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: If you think Slayers et al belongs to me... you need professional help...

Author's Notes: I'd like to apologize for casting Zelgadis as such a complete a$$hole. He's extremely cruel in this story. I didn't realize it until I was about halfway through his dialogue, and by that time, the story had pretty much written itself. Forgive the slanderous characterizations.

Part 2

The trip to Saillune was, to put it succinctly, not very enjoyable. Lina was a continuous emotional roller coaster ride of ravenous rage and muted depression. Gourry could never tell what would set her off down one path or the other. He only knew that somehow, someway, he had to get Lina to Saillune and into Zelgadis's presence.

Upon their entry to the white magic capital of the world, Lina and Gourry were accosted by the number of posters and announcements proclaiming the upcoming royal wedding. It was all Gourry could do to keep Lina from flying off into the abysmal depths of despair.

At the castle, the travelers were greeted warmly. Amelia looked happier than she ever had. Lina noticed, with quiet alarm, that the Saillune princess really had matured since their last departure. Amelia carried the weight of her country on her shoulders with great dignity. It was amazing to think that this competent ruler was once a whiny little do-gooder.

"Where's Zelgadis?" Gourry asked, ignoring the sharp stab of Lina's elbow into his ribs. Amelia didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, I don't know. Ever since the public declaration, he's been hiding anywhere he can get some peace. Maybe he's in the library. I don't mind, though, because it's hard to plan a wedding with him around. He just doesn't contribute anything useful!" Amelia rambled on.

After a short snack break (which was short in time but not in supply), Lina and Gourry were led to their temporary guest rooms. Lina was used to the grandiose palace decorating schemes, and thus wasn't too shocked by her room. The magnificent cherrywood canopy bed, wine-colored drapes and sheets and pillows, and matching accent accessories in ivory suited Lina's tastes just fine.

A summons came shortly after. Lina followed the maid to another grand bedchamber, where Zelgadis sat reading a book. Upon her entry, Zelgadis set the leather-bound book down and stood up.

He was even more handsome than what she remembered. Oftentimes, memories are reshaped and redrawn to capture every positive aspect of an individual and to leave out everything negative. But with Zelgadis... Lina's memories were dim in comparison. Not to mention his newly-found and much-sought-after human colored pale skin and silky black hair. His sapphire eyes were the same as always – piercing and unnerving. Lina gasped and stepped back, running into the door that the maid had closed behind her.

"You... you're..."

"Human again. Yes, I know. Really, Lina, you should have kept up correspondence. For one, you would have known I found my cure several months ago. For another, I miss your letters."

"But... you're..." Lina couldn't help but stammer. Where the hell had this cocky attitude come from!? Zelgadis simply smiled and allowed his friend to regain her composure. "How? Where? Tell me what it was! Tell me everything!" Lina's curiosity finally took over, driving her forward a few steps until she stood nearly nose-to-nose with the former chimera... er, nose-to-chest. "I don't remember you being this tall..." She looked up.

"Maybe you've just shrunk."

"Shut up." Lina began to walk a circle around Zelgadis, inspecting him from head to toe. As far as she could tell, under the admittedly sexy set of clothes he was wearing, Zelgadis was once again completely human. "Tell me everything!"

"Maybe later. I think we have more important matters to discuss."

Lina stopped abruptly. A scowl set on her face and she backed away from Zelgadis. The mood in the room seemed to visibly darken.

"Yeah. I guess so." Lina felt her mind go numb. No way, no way in all of Hades was she going to tell Zelgadis what she was really feeling. Lina had spent the entire trip to Saillune coaching herself to stand against the barrage of emotions that would accompany her during her visit with Zelgadis. She promised herself that under no circumstances was she allowed to show any sort of feeling in regards to her relationship with him. Lina had decided that the marriage was none of her business, and if it made her friends happy, she had no right to take that away from them.

"It's not what you think," Zelgadis continued, blithely unaware of the turmoil in Lina's mind.

"What do you mean? You and Amelia are getting hitched. What's there to misinterpret with that?" Lina mentally scolded herself for the sliver of ice she entered into her words.

"Yes, that is what the letter said, isn't it?" Zelgadis settled back in his chair. Lina followed suit by seating herself across from him. "I don't want to marry Amelia. This isn't exactly the way I pictured spending my future."

"What?" Dumbfounded, Lina leaned forward in her seat. "If you don't want to marry her, then why ARE you?!"

"You don't get it, do you, Lina?" Zelgadis kept his eyes on Lina's face, gauging her reactions to what he said. "I've been offered everything I've ever wanted. When I decided to stay in Saillune, when we split ways, it was assumed that I stayed for Amelia's sake. Prince Phil deemed it necessary that if I was to consort with his daughter, I should at least have my greatest wish granted. Top-notch sorcerers, highly skilled white magic users, and elemental mages from across the land were invited in to see if they could cure me. I don't know how Phil managed to fund this worldwide search, but the fact of the matter is that he did. I won't go into details about how I was cured. It was a long and painful process that I'd rather not dwell upon right now." A shadow crossed Zelgadis's face, and for a moment, Lina saw a flash of recalled fear in his eyes. "Look at what's been offered to me: a place in the royal family, a country to eventually rule alongside Amelia, riches beyond even your wildest dreams, a chance to raise my own family. You can't imagine how much I've longed for this day to come."

"You never cared about any of that stuff..." Lina whispered. Her throat and eyes felt funny. She coughed discreetly.

"Really, Lina? You really think you know me that well? All my life I've spent looking for one cure. I've never had a chance for anything else, and now I have it all. Why wouldn't I jump at this?"

"Because you're above that. Money means nothing to you. If you were marrying Amelia because you loved her, I could understand that, but not... not because you want status and power." Lina shivered despite the heat radiating from the fire on the hearth. Zelgadis barked with laughter. His blue eyes turned icy, as though they still belonged to a chimera.

"You're such a hypocrite! That's all you are: wealth, power, and gluttony. Don't even try to pretend you've never thought of marrying rich and milking it to your needs."

"Who are you, and what have you done with the Zelgadis I knew?" Lina replied, unable to resist asking the clichéd question. The person in front of her wasn't like the Zelgadis she loved. Well... maybe, in a way... but the Zelgadis she knew wasn't so... ruthlessly self-interested.

Lina's mind tumbled to a halt. Maybe she was looking at this all the wrong way. Wasn't he always this self-obsessed? Always running of to find his own cure, only caring out his own hide, shutting out any and all affection directed at him.

"What do you mean? I'm always me. Just because you don't like the way I think doesn't make me someone different," Zelgadis replied, his voice caustic. Lina could tell the implication of her question had bothered her friend.

"What's happened to you? You're not anything like what I remembered," Lina queried.

"Maybe your memory isn't as good as you think it is. I don't see why you're so upset about this. You and I are a lot alike, Lina. We're both opportunists. We see an opening and we take it. We don't dilly-dally about the subject with false moral obligations. If you were in my position, I haven't the slightest doubt you'd do the same. Where are you ever going to get in your life, Lina? Will you forever be a nomad, roaming the world and taking what you will? You want power just like I do." Zelgadis leaned forward in his seat, as thought attempting to drive the words in farther. Lina sat up abruptly.
"You wanted power when you were young, didn't you?" At the confused look on Zelgadis's face, Lina continued. "Strength, power, same difference, and look where it got you. A chimera-FREAK for years and years, a social reject with no emotions. You're doing it to yourself again! Didn't you learn your lesson the first time?"

Lina was a little sorry at using the word "freak." She had never called Zelgadis that before and had always prided herself on looking past his odd countenance. She knew the barb had stung deeply. Zelgadis looked like a wounded puppy for a moment, but eventually it faded into disappointment.

"Maybe, but I've learned to not make the same mistakes. I still want power, I still want to be strong. I just know better than to trust blind priests," Zelgadis retorted.

"If that was supposed to be a joke, it's not funny," Lina snapped contemptuously. She loved his man? This decidedly cruel, manipulative jerk? Sure, he wasn't the best, most warm-and-fuzzy person in the world when he was a chimera, but never had he made such blatantly malicious stratagems to bend the world to his will. Lina felt her heart breaking. After all this time of stupid unrequited love, her "soulmate" turned out to be mortal scum. Tears came unbidden to her eyes. Zelgadis noticed and gave pause.

"Lina, what's the matter?"

"And you're going to marry Amelia?!" Lina blurted, ignoring Zelgadis's question. "That sweet and innocent girl who loves you more than life itself? Who gave you everything and never expected anything back? You're going to use her to propel yourself into the world of social hierarchies?"

"That was the plan," Zelgadis mumbled, as though almost an aside to himself. Lina, not expecting this confession, rocketed to her feet.

"You snotty no-good rotten scum son of a bitch bastard!" Lina barked. Zelgadis's pretty eyes widened in surprise.

"What the...?"

"Zelgadis Graywords, may you rot in stinking hell to the end of eternity!"

"Isn't such damnation a bit heavy-handed, Lina?" Zelgadis got to his feet.

"Not at all for some vile thing like you! I can't believe you!" Lina stalked toward the bedroom doors, intending to leave. "I can't wait to tell Amelia all about this!"

"Will she believe you?" The soft voice made Lina pause with her hand on the door. "Even if she did, could you really bring yourself to tell her and spoil all her perfect plans?"

"You're sick. I don't know what happened to the Zelgadis I lo-"Lina stopped short and just barely managed to keep herself from banging her head on the door. He was right, of course. How could she even broach such a topic with the gentle Amelia? No way, no how. And she almost confessed right there that she had, at one point, loved him!

"What was that? I can't hear what you're saying, you're mumbling into the door," Zelgadis replied.

"Nothing," Lina snapped. She opened the door. It closed just as quickly, as Zelgadis now stood directly behind her with his hand firmly on the door. Lina didn't dare turn around. She felt her insides go into convulsions simply at being near him. The unfamiliar warmth radiated off Zelgadis like a small sun.

"I was wrong about what I said. I've only been offered almost everything I've ever wanted," Zelgadis said, his voice low, his warm breath ruffling a few loose strands of Lina's hair.

"Oh really?" was all Lina could manage to utter.

"If I asked you to stay with me, would you?"

Lina carefully turned around. She had to tilt her head up to get a good look at Zelgadis's face. Months, days, hours ago she would have said yes. After hearing the painful confessions of only moments before, however, she just couldn't... could she?

"No," she said doggedly. The expression on Zelgadis's face was unreadable. Lina quickly turned away, opened the door, and stepped out. Just as she closed the door behind her, she heard Zelgadis speak.

"Lina Inverse... I love you."