RAISING MERIDIAN

Happy Medium

VladimirsAngel: *munches happily on her pills…Raziel peels the banana thoughtfully* Yes, we did another chapter.

Syvia: *clears throat* We would like at this point to reiterate our disclaimer: We do not own anything LoK related - that would be Eidos. Kurt and Krobelus belong respectively to Marvel and Volition. Also, we do not own the VW Microbus. However, Celia, Vladimir, Lupa and other denizens of the Nexus came from my own and the Angel's twisted little minds.

VladimirsAngel: We'd also like to extend a few words to you, the reviewers, without whom Raziel would by now be lying loveless in a ditch somewhere with cruel banana-related injuries.

Raziel: *breaks banana in two* Hear hear.

Nocturnally_Damned: *both grin and wave* We KNOW it's you, Deedee…So here, look, we wrote more…and without benefit of Uberseer whip, too. But VA did have to have her pills. *VA towels her hair and looks cross*

Natasha Compagnon: Glad you liked it! I hope it's still going strong as far as you're concerned.

Kaya de Crystalline: ohhh yes. Definitely more vampires. Check out this chapter for evidence of this *winks*

Shiwolf: Hi! And yes. It has to be admitted. Young Kain is the official eye candy for this story.

The Deville's Dog: *VA rushes and glomps and Syvia gives an extra big hug* thankyou so much for the review. And that woodshed is currently playing host to a pirate, as well you know.

Anima Flamma: *Vladimir takes the lollipop and grins in thanks* Lots of people seem to feel sorry for him. No idea why.

Sylvanon the wolf gurl: Now now…don't break Zephon. There's only the one of him. *Raziel can be heard saying "Thank heavens for small mercies!" in the background*

Guardian of Tears: *grins* I KNEW the topless vamp card was a winner. And no, no plans for Jack…he's happily drunk in Vladimir's woodshed.

Dark-Sephiroth: *VA waves* Hello again! Yes, tis I, VA, the one who wrote Urban Nosgothic – I hope you're going to enjoy this one too. And thanks for the recommendation! *hands out candy*

Vander Zan:  Syvia: *blinding white smile*  Oh thank you for the scintillating message.  It was so well thought out and so very helpful!  Everyone now knows how they shouldn't review fiction!  Your typo was so funny by comparison- especially since it was directly after your comment about our typo!  Take care now! Goodbye!  *waves*

Ok. Enough of that! On with the story!

Back in Meridian itself, another argument is going on. In a corner of a small alley, two figures stand in front of what is obviously one of Vladimir's world-gates. The gate is glowing an ugly purple colour, as purple as a bruise. It does not look healthy.

Sebastian:*obviously furious*…vanished off the face of Nosgoth without so much as "goodbye"!! and with Kain back in the picture, too! Wretched primping fool!

Marcus: *twiddling with a dagger and looking bored* Maybe we should wait for the postcard before we overreact, Sebby…

Sebastian rounds on him, extremely fast.

Sebastian: *silkily* Two things. Firstly, it is not "Sebby." It has never been "Sebby", it never will be "Sebby". And secondly -

Marcus: *sneering* …how about Seb?

Sebastian: *grabs him by the throat and hisses into his face* Secondly, YOU are going after him.

Marcus: *wide eyes* Me?!

Sebastian: And you're going now.

Marcus: But I don't have time to requisition more than six bodyguards…

Sebastian: Are you a vampire or a five-year-old girl? Besides *he puts a companionable arm around Marcus' shoulders and is pushed off just as quickly*…would you rather I went? Left you in your little territory, all alone…with Kain coming to tea?

Marcus blinks and assumes a haughty expression.

Marcus: *arrogantly* You want me to go alone, then?

Sebastian: It'll attract less attention. We have no idea what we're dealing with here and I'd rather keep it low-profile in case he-who-must-be-obeyed *he gestures out into the street, where a couple of Sarafan knights are moodily repairing a glyph circuit* gets wind of it.

Marcus: *eyes the gate nervously* What exactly IS that thing?

Sebastian circles the gate carefully, looking upon it with ill-concealed greed.

Sebastian: It is…an opportunity, Marcus. Now hurry up and do whatever it is you need to do, wax your head, feed your minions, cancel the milk - we have to get Faustus back here before either Kain or Lord Muck realises he's gone. Oh, and Marcus?

Marcus, who is turning away in hopes of escape, freezes.

Sebastian: Do try and find some less attention-seeking clothing, won't you? *Marcus grinds his teeth silently and walks off to do so. Sebastian smirks contentedly.* There's a good fellow…


Away in the Nexus, the Kains are arguing. Vladimir is arguing too, although he is finding it hard to get a word in edgeways. Krobelus and Kurt, bored, are sitting in the kitchen to resume the abandoned card game - Celia is standing, arms folded and a vaguely amused grin on her face, against the banister.

Now that she is dressed in more comfortable clothing- an emerald-green top that matches her tennis shoes, blue jeans and a more modern form of underwear- she looks perfectly comfortable. More comfortable than many people would have been, standing next to a tall, blue, and emaciated vampire wraith.

Had Raziel's expression been visible, he would have been grinning widely. Seeing Kain battle with himself is the most wonderful thing that has happened to Raziel, lately. Lupa is looking between Celia and Raziel, and she does not look pleased.

Young Kain: I have to go back!

Vladimir: No-one is going anywhere offworld until I find out what's wrong with the gates!

Old Kain: Quite right. You're not going anywhere until I have words with you, my lad.

Young Kain paces like a trapped animal.

Young Kain: None of you ignorant people understand my situation.

Vladimir: No, you don't understand. I cannot have rogue vampires running around the Nexus. There will be a bloodbath. *voice steadily escalating in volume* It will be messy and upsetting and will no doubt generate endless paperwork which I do NOT have time to deal with.

Lupa: *peacefully* Calm down, Mir. Don't get your whiskers in a bind. Kain - no, you, honey - I think it really might be best if you rounded up your topless buddy before you go. Sad though I would be to lose the both of you.

Celia: *looks at Lupa incredulously* You haven't even SEEN the other one…or do you have a thing for every male without a pulse?

Lupa: Not at all. I'm not lusting after you, am I, Razi?

Raziel: *deadpan* Sadly, not that I've noticed.

Young Kain throws himself down on the couch with a snarl of frustration.

Vladimir: Look, I really think -

Old Kain: *interrupting* What we need to do is split up. Two groups. Vladimir, you and whoever you think best can go and look at the gate my irritating young counterpart came through. I will take him *he points at Young Kain, who makes a rude gesture with one hand* and maybe - *He glances about the room, puts one hand over his eyes* I can't believe I'm saying this - Raziel, I want you to come with me.

Raziel: *sarcastically* Gosh, Daddy, really? We're not going bowling again are we?

Celia laughs.

Old Kain: I told you never to mention the bowling! And you two- *he points to Young Kain and the mage* you can come too to make sure I don't kill Raziel by accident.

Krobelus: Are we allowed to kill Raziel by accident?

Raziel swipes at him.

Old Kain: *sternly* If I have to behave, so does everyone else. Especially you, whelp.

Young Kain demonstrates his maturity by sticking out his tongue. Lupa goggles at him.

Lupa: *dreamily* Are there any more at home like you?

Vladimir: *clouting her* Shush. Dreadful. All this chaos and YOU have to be thinking with your hormones again…you're coming with me to the gate.

Lupa: Awww….

Vladimir: Don't argue. You can go looking for vampires later. Kurt - are you okay staying here for now? Just in case anything happens.

Kurt: Don't worry about me. You have cable. I'll be fine.

Vladimir: Celia? *she looks over at him, but Kain speaks before her*

Kain: Actually... the Watermage should go with you to be certain that someone in your group will recognize Faustus, should you see him.

Lupa: *a bit sullenly* He's a vampire with long hair and no shirt. *waves a hand towards Faustus' jacket, which is currently tied around Celia' s waist* What, exactly, will be so hard to spot?

Young Kain: *arms folded over his chest* He eats at least five people a day-

Raziel: *politely, batting his eyes* As opposed to your twelve?

Young Kain: *another rude gesture* -and kills countless more. Are these the actions of a man who would hesitate to steal a shirt?

Kurt: Not to mention all the Nexus patrons who go topless anyway.

Lupa opens her mouth to protest, when Krobelus beats her to it.

Krobelus: *indicating Celia with a cock of his head* Use her as bait.

Celia turns a dangerously unfriendly look on him and the two mages stare at each other for a few moments as the rest of the room processes that idea. Krobelus gives the Watermaster a tiny, malicious grin, which she slowly returns.

Celia: *almost growling* You and I are most definitely going to dance later.

Krobelus: *calmly but meaningfully* I only know the Charleston.

Celia: Fine by me. I always fancied myself as a twenties flapper girl.

They continue to glare at each other for a long moment.

Lupa: *cheerfully getting back to business* Actually, I like that idea.

Celia: *who is getting thoroughly fed up* Well, of course you would.

Lupa's grin turns into an honest smile as Vladimir gives her a dubious look.

Lupa: No, it really is a good idea. Celia could walk by the gate as if she were doing simply that- walking along. You and I could stay in the area and see if Faustus comes to reclaim his shirt. If he does, Celia will allow him to attack her, then he'll have broken the Mandate and we'll have him right where we want him!

Vladimir: *thoughtfully* Well...

Celia: *outraged, to Lupa* You just want to make it more likely that you'll get to see him! *to Vladimir* Besides, he already tried to attack me!

Vladimir: *tentatively* yes, yes…um…but it does sound like a good idea. *Celia glares at him and he flinches* Lupa and I will be right near you!

Celia: That isn't the point-

Old Kain: *getting impatient* It's settled then. Let us go.







As Vladimir and Old Kain lead the two search parties out into the streets of the Nexus, a vampire who is decidedly over-dressed (by Lupa's standards at least) is stepping cautiously out into the pick-up area of the Nexus Mall and Cinema Complex Park and Ride, via the Neon Gate.

Marcus: *staring about* Ugh. This place is…I have no words to describe it…no decent architecture, no sense of style…

He is forced to briefly consider the sagging blue and white outfit that is draped over his thin, powerful frame. Faustus, had he been present, would have recognized it as the robes of one of Meridian's foremost holy orders.

Marcus: I hate you, Sebastian, I really do.

He glares up and down the street, and spares a brief flare of power trying to locate any other vampires in the vicinity. There seem to be over twenty, which throws him into brief confusion.

Marcus: *muttering* Someone is going to suffer when I get home.

A girl, cloaked and grinning brightly, dashes across the deserted car park and practically throws herself at him in delight. She is petite and pert - her ears are pointed in her bright, sparkling fuzz of pink hair - and she seems totally overwhelmed by Marcus' appearance.

Girl: Thank the Goddess you've arrived! *loops her arm around his* I thought you'd be here twenty minutes ago. *half-drags him towards a car*

Marcus: Huh?

Girl: *grins at his confused expression* I'm Sister Mattie from the Order, fellow volunteer worker and here to make sure you get that cute little hiney over to our booth.

Remembering he is supposed to be keeping a low profile and repressing the urge to rip the girl's throat out and drain her blood (after plumbing her mind for information of course) he allows himself to be led to a rusty old white VWB Microbus. Whatever volunteer working was, it did not sound like anything he wished to be doing.

Marcus: *playing along* The time differential confused us... back home. You have my apologies.

Mattie: *pouts, then smiles* At least you're here now!

She gets in the car, waits for him, but he doesn't want to get in.

Marcus: What is this contraption?

Mattie: A car. Wow, Agoran is one of the backwater dimensions, isn't it? C'mon, don't be scared, cars are perfectly safe. *wicked grin* It's the people driving them that are dangerous. *shrill, repetitive giggle*

Marcus: *bares his teeth a little* What dimension is this? *he finally gets in the car*

Mattie: Ooh, you're a vampire. *is oblivious to both the fact that Marcus is glaring fiercely at her and that he's shut his robes in the door*

Marcus: *icily* Is that a problem?

Mattie: I'll just drop you off at the mall and run to the store for some blood. I doubt you'd want lemonade or tea like the other volunteers.

Marcus: *leering at her* I prefer my food fresh, actually.

Mattie: *her signature giggle* Silly boy, didn't your superiors tell you? All are welcome in the Nexus as long as they harm none. Breaking the Mandate can get you the Ritual Personal Humiliation and a swift one-way ticket home, buster. *she pats Marcus on the head cheerfully*

Marcus: *glowering at the thought of the Mandate* Please don't touch me.

Mattie: But I have to, remember? It's part of our sacred vow. *pinches him on the arm and giggles again* Boy, your superiors really didn't give you ANY help at all, did they?

Marcus: *thinking of Sebastian* No. They were singularly unhelpful.

Mattie: *big smile* I'm Sister Mattaeanaia Glompnkiss from the Nexus Chapter of the Order of Happy Contact. *Marcus blinks* But you can call me Mattie!

Marcus:  Mattie…?

Mattie: *spontaneously hugs him* And you are the dear, dear little acolyte that they sent from our Chapter in the Agoran Dimension; Brother Flutey!

Marcus: *in too much shock about the name to complain about the hug* Brother Flutey!?

Mattie smiles at him and starts up the bus. She pulls out of her parking spot without looking behind her and almost slams into two pedestrians, one of whom vaults up onto a lamppost to keep from being run over. They shout at her as she drives away at sixty mph with Marcus bracing himself with an arm on the door and the other making an imprint of his hand on the dashboard.

Marcus: *sudden remembrance* Happy...contact?

Mattie: *piously* The Goddess says that many of the multiverse's problems stem from people not being willing to hug each other enough. *titters* But then you already know that. And your form did say you were a great believer in the power of air kisses. You were highly recommended.

Marcus: *shoulders slump* Of course.

Mattie: *smiles maternally at him* Oh, Brother Flutey, you're going to fit in perfectly, I can just tell.