Most Wanted
Yes, we updated at last! *Syvia and VA look pleased with themselves* We'd like to point out that we don't own any of the Legacy of Kain boys. They belong to Eidos. Krobelus is an invention of Volition Games: Kurt Wagner of Marvel Comics. The Nexus and its inhabitants are one of the Angel's own little fancies. Oh, and we still do not own the VW Microbus.
Meanwhile, Faustus, unaware that he is rapidly becoming the Nexus Most
Wanted, is currently in a clothing store, standing in the casual section of the
men's wear department.
Faustus: *standing in front of a mirror, examining his chest, smiles* The burns are nearly healed. *studies his flawless profile*
I guess it's not surprising that I fell into such a lovely dimension by
following Kain. Bastard seems to have all the luck.
He's cut across the middle with a Glyph Blade and tossed off a cliff- yet he
survives. He runs into a warp gate to who-knows-where, and ends up here.
*sighs* I really hate that vampire.
Faustus turns to the clothing racks and starts moving about,
considering color and material as he browses. He
finally decides on a shirt, but there is only one, size small. He sighs, takes
it and walks towards a saleswoman.
Faustus: Madam, are the shirts out here all you have?
Assistant: *with her back to him* We have
other sizes in the back, if you'd- *turns around, sees him, gasps and faints*
Faustus: *tisks, walks over to another
saleswoman* Madam? *holds up a blood-coloured dress-shirt* Do you happen to
have this in a larger size?
Assistant: *gaping, looks him up and down and keels over in a dead
faint*
Faustus: Damnit... *loudly* can anyone assist
me without this ridiculous behaviour?
At his shout, three other women look over, gasp in appreciation and
slide gracefully to the floor.
Faustus: *slaps a hand over his eyes* Oh Dark Gods....
Male Assistant: *steps over the nearest female assistant* Yes, sir, can
I help you?
Faustus: Yes, finally! Do you have this in a large?
Male Assistant: Allow me to check in the back, sir. *takes the shirt
and goes in the back room*
Faustus stands and waits, examining his claws. Two isles away, a
customer and another assistant catch sight of him. Both heave dreamy sighs
before dropping to the floor.
Faustus: Must be some sort of virus going around…What is taking so
long?
He stalks off into the back room. There are some ugly noises, and then
Faustus re-appears, looking more cheerful and smoothing his hair.
Faustus: That's more like it.
He runs the fabric of his new shirt through his fingers. It is damp.
Faustus: ...a genuine blood red…now…*he lifts his head and sniffs
suspiciously* ...Kain...
As he leaves the store, he fails to notice the necromancer standing at
ease against a pillar. A small badge on the man's black jacket reads "Nexus
Security". The mage speaks briefly into a mobile.
Security Mage: Sir? That's an actual casualty. Orders?
Now elsewhere in the Nexus, Marcus is currently fairing badly, very badly. Mattie's microbus screams up the driving lot, past the mall doors (which are on censors and barely slide open in time to admit the vehicle) and down the walkway through the mall. Various shoppers run from the oncoming Microbus, screaming death to the driver and dropping bags all over the place. An elf, carrying a three-tiered marzipan figurine of Aphrodite, gasps and lurches back - and only half of the figurine goes with him.
The other half shatters in a cloud of white sugar over the Microbus'
windshield.
Marcus: *gaping in horror at the obscured glass*
Mattie: Ooops. Well, I'm sure that was an
accident. *pokes her head out of the window and looks back at the elf* I
FORGIVE YOU! *blows a kiss*
Marcus: Watch where you're driving!
Mattie: *back in the car* Why? I can't see out the front anyway!
*teeth-grinding giggle*
Marcus: *begins to pray* Oh, Dark Gods- watch over this undead body...
Mattie: *singing* "Everybody needs a hug, little-tiny-children and big-tall-scary lugs,
everybody, everybody, everybodyneedsahug." *she pokes Marcus in the elbow,
taking both hands off the wheel* Come on! We all know the words! "Hug, hug,
everybody needs them, cuddles, kisses, call 'em as you see 'em…"
Marcus has gotten out of the traditional prayers and begun to invent
new ones when they finally arrive at the convention sector of the Mall. Mattie
hits the brakes without warning, and with the squeal of tires on tile they
slide to a stop... in the perfect centre of a parallel parking spot.
Mattie unlocks her seatbelt and hugs Marcus, who is still frozen in his
seat. He makes an incoherent sound of terror.
Marcus: Gaaahhh...
Mattie: Come along, Brother Flutey, and meet
the other volunteers!
Marcus: *miserably* gaaaaahhh...
She opens her door and bounds out of the bus. She is halfway to the booth
before she realises Marcus is still sitting where she has left him, paralysed
by shock. Mattie sighs indulgently and walks over to his side of the vehicle.
With a great deal more strength that she looks as if she should possess, Mattie
takes hold of the door and wrenches it open. She looks at it, and pouts
prettily.
Mattie: Brother Flutey, you broke the handle
off! *tisks* Naughty, naughty Brother Flutey! *shaking a finger at him*
Marcus: *slowly turns to face her* That was...
that... that...
Mattie: *sighs* I suppose you can't manage the seatbelt- they are
rather tricky. *leans in to release him from the seat*
Marcus: *expression turning murderous, softly* You...
you little -
Young Man: Sister Mattie!
Mattie straightens up quickly, knocking the top of her head into
Marcus' chin. The young vampire stifles a groan of pain - having bitten both
his tongue and lower lip.
Mattie: Acolyte Chirpton! *they share a big
hug* I'm back, but I must run to the store! Do introduce Brother Flutey to the others, will you?
Acolyte Chirpton: *big smile* Ah, the fellow
true believer from Agoran. *gives Marcus a big hug
and wrenches him out of the bus* Welcome to the Nexus!
Caught in the enormous Acolyte Chirpton's
arms, Marcus pours his rage into his gift - he can't focus as well without his
hands positioned near his head, but it doesn't make much of a difference.
Marcus reaches out with his mind for the massive Acolyte's thoughts -
Mattie: Oh! I almost forgot! *clamps her hands down on Marcus' temples*
The vampire's eyes focus again and widen in horror as a wave of power
flows into his head, feeling as if it were stuffing around his brain like
cotton and effectively shutting him in his own mind. His face stills
dangerously and he looks murderously at the tiny sister.
Marcus: What…did…you…DO?
Mattie: I put a shield over your mind, Brother Flutey!
*wide smile* Now none of those nasty mind mages can get in and make you give up
the donations everyone is making to the poor un-hugged people of the Nexus! *she
hugs him and Acolyte Chirpton*
Marcus lunges at her as she walks away, intent on tearing the fairy
limb from limb, Mandate be damned.
Acolyte Chirpton: *still more or less hugging
Marcus* Brother Flutey, you're such a good example of
the Order! You can hug Sister Mattie when she gets back from the store. Come
and meet the other volunteers now.
Marcus strains to reach Mattie as Acolyte Chirpton
carts him off in the other direction.
At the Fountain Gate Plaza where Faustus
arrived almost an hour earlier, Vladimir is on his knees
on the grass, digging about in the Gate's frame: Celia is peering over his
shoulder, intrigued. The Gate is in "administration" mode,
and at partial activation glows gently blue in the evening dark. Lupa is kicking at the ground, already bored.
Vladimir: *sits back in
irritation* Celia - go sit over there.
Celia: Where?
Vladimir: Away from the gate! Elementals keep
swimming near for a peek at you - they are disturbing the gate flow...
The elementals in question pout prettily up at Vladimir as Celia moves
away, and flow languidly to the sides as he swipes a paw at them. The mini
undines move away from Vladimir's work-space and
watch with interest from the corners of the Gate base.
Celia: *walking, smirks* I told you this was a faulty idea- but no.
Her pet undine and a tiny naiad pop up out of the water as she sits
down beside a long, upwards-flowing water fountain. They begin to play tag in
the smoothly flowing water.
Lupa: *sweetly, smile full of teeth* You could simply
go home.
Vladimir: No she
couldn't! Bad enough that those things from Nosgoth
are running around my Nexus - we don't need one to follow Celia back to Earth!
It would cross the dimensional boundaries even worse.
Celia: *taking out her sketchpad* Not to mention the tongue-lashing he
would receive from our Gatekeeper…
Vladimir shudders.
Lupa: Oh? Who is it?
Celia: My grandfather, Sebastian J. Cameron.
She scribbles industriously in her sketchpad. The little water
elementals stop their game to watch.
Vladimir: *up to his
elbows in Gate parts* His sense of humour has all but disappeared in his old
age.
Celia: *grinning down at her pad* No, no- it's gotten much, much more sadistic. Besides, Vladimir- he adores you. It's your brother that he feels an
unending desire to burn to a crisp.
Vladimir: *sighs* Those idiotic pranks with the water-bucket. Vervain had it coming.
Celia: As he so often does. *snickers*
Lupa doesn't even attempt to hide the mirthful
expression that blossoms on her face at the thought of someone getting one up
on Vladimir's despised elder
brother.
Lupa: What happened?
Celia: *grinning* Grandfather finally got tired of Vervain's
little 'jokes' and set fire to his tail... *evil smile* and his mane.
Vladimir: *smiling
happily* Ah, memories.
Lupa: *laughing* How much was burnt?
Vladimir: *blissful sigh*
All of it.
Celia: *contented smile* The revenge of a Firemaster is enough to warm any victim's heart.
She turns a page of her pad and then holds it up for them to see.
Celia: *indicating her sketch* This is
Faustus. *her undine smiles and nods, agreeing*
Lupa: *visibly drooling* Ooooh...
I like him already.
Vladimir: *with a
screwdriver in his mouth* If you bring any more vampires into my house I shall
have to put flypaper down.
Celia: *smirks* We could have just put up
signs saying 'Have you seen this vampire?', but that would give away the fact
that we're looking for him.
Lupa: Hell, we could just put up lots of
pictures…*takes the picture of Faustus and folds it up to put in her pocket*
Celia glowers and considers the remaining pages in her pad.
Celia: I did some sketches of Kain - you
know, the demonish-looking one…and Raziel, but they're not that good really…
She glances up as the undines beneath the surface of the Gate abruptly
flee, startled. Vladimir frowns.
Vladimir: It doesn't LOOK
damaged…
Celia: *eyeing the pieces of wet neon tubing he has spilled out over
his knees* How can you tell?
Vladimir: …because it
hasn't exploded in my hands yet?
Celia: *somewhat on edge* So what do we do if
it explodes?
Vladimir: *wearily* Catch
as many big pieces of me as you can and bury me on the merry olde hillside, hey-fol-a-dillo…
Celia: *to Lupa* is he being sarcastic?
Lupa: I hope so. If he's not then he needs
stronger medication.
The Fountain Gate flares into full activation, suddenly. Vladimir yelps and sucks
his paws as they singe with the backlash of power. The two water elementals
behind Celia show wide eyes before disappearing without a ripple.
Celia: Please tell me you did that.
Vladimir: *calmingly* I
did that.
The Gate spasms: a massive, misshapen form bursts out, rolling and
bellowing on the ground.
Vladimir: *small voice* I
was lying.
A hideously scarred vampire sits bolt upright and boggles insanely into
Vladimir's face. Vladimir gulps.
Magnus: MEAT!!!
Vladimir: *panicking*
Kumquats!!
He scrambles to his feet and grabs both girls by the hands.
Vladimir: *with that
manic cheerfulness common to the neurotic in a crisis* Let's
go, come on, gate's fine…
They run as quickly as they can, not daring to look back.
Lupa: Now that's one vamp I'm willing to release
from my "no shirts" law…
Celia: *slightly concerned* Shouldn't we try
and capture him? Or kill him?
Vladimir: I think I'd
rather take my chances with the sane
evil vampire, if it's all the same to you.
Celia: *realising, gives a wail of dismay* My
sketchbook!
Vladimir: *firmly* Absolutely not.
He opens the nearest Gate, and practically drags them all through it.
Celia's abandoned sketchbook goes unnoticed by Magnus as he raves off in the
direction of the nearest light. Fortunately for the Nexus, the nearest light
turns out to be an oncoming train.
Young Kain pads about around the alleyway where
Faustus fell foul of Celia and her undine, completely focused, single minded. Raziel, Old Kain and Krobelus stand a little way off, watching.
Young Kain: I can SMELL him...
He growls, and is about to take off at a sprint, when Raziel grabs him by the collar. Young Kain
makes a noise suspiciously like "Yipe!" and
growls more.
Raziel: *holding the scratching,
struggling vampire at arm's length* Can we get a leash for him, do you think?
Old Kain: *sarcastically* Your
deviant sexual perversions are nothing to do with me, Raziel.
Raziel: *countering* They would be if I was being deviant with him…I mean YOU…I
mean him…oh, Gods, it's a vile idea anyhow…
Old Kain: I just wish we had more of an idea where the wretched fledgling might be hiding.
Krobelus: *picks up his mobile as it rings* Hello?
Raziel: Well, if I let go of
Lassie here he might go right to him…*shakes Young Kain
in a less-than-gentle manner*
Young Kain: Let go of me, you blue-skinned abomination…!
Krobelus: *giving confirmation noises
to the person on the other end*
Raziel: *puts his face in Kain's, dangerously* You forgot to
say please....
Old Kain: *plucking his younger self out of Raziel's grip* Let's not do Moebius a favour by killing the boy and destroying Nosgoth's timeline, Raziel. *his
younger self redoubles his attempts to pull away*
Old Kain kicks the feet out from under his
other self and keeps the younger vampire sitting on the ground with a cloven
hand on one pale shoulder. He sighs as his younger self begins hissing and
attempting to get to his feet.
Old Kain: *sighs* I'd forgotten just how
annoying you were....
Raziel: *arms folded over his
chest* I don't think much has
changed.
Both Kains turn to him and growl softly.
Krobelus: *into his phone* No...just keep an eye on him. I'm coming, and I'll bring back-up.
He snaps the phone shut. The others look at him expectantly.
Krobelus: He's at Suit Yourself, in
the Mall, Third Level. He's killed someone.
Old Kain: Are they sure it's Faustus?
Krobelus: Well, the duty mage said
that all the female store assistants seemed to have had an attack of hormones…
Old Kain and Young Kain:
*in unison* That's him.
Raziel: *as the Reaver curls out up his arm* Then let's get him.
VladimirsAngel: *considers* What can I do this time…I know…review or everyone gets a free visit from The Order of Happy Contact!
Syvia: *tisking* That's cruel and heartless, even for you.
VladimirsAngel: *chuckles evilly* I know…but it's so much FUN…
Syvia: Couldn't we just bribe them with free candy?
VladimirsAngel:…ok…and free candy.