RAISING MERIDIAN

VA: *scrabbling about in her purse* …five pence…six, seven…eight…

Syvia: Don't mind her. It's almost time for Defiance to be released in the UK. She's just making sure she has enough money for it…this could take a while, she's not good at math…meanwhile, on with the review responses…!

Blood Of Angels: Heh, yes, Marcus is really getting in over his head. If only he knew…and Kain will find out about the Order soon enough, don't you worry *evil grin*

Tanaquil: *VA pounces and hugs* Glad you're enjoying the fic so far!

CrownOfRust: Hi there! Yes…we love being cruel to Marcus. He just makes it so easy. Thanks for the reviews!

AmuseMe: *big hugs from the girls* Hey there! So glad you're enjoying it! (we're happy to be entertaining the authoress of "Vampires in My House"!) Notorious, are we? *big grins from Syvia and VA* We're aiming for infamous…and Faustus'  effect on females is written down from life by Syvia watching VA play Blood Omen 2.

Flame of Corruption: *laughing* Shake your fist all you want, Marcus old boy. It won't do any good…and oh yes, POOR Kain…awww…*pets Kain's head and gets bitten* Damnit!

Tom T Thomson: Glad you're enjoying the story! And look, here's more, just like you wanted.

Shiwolf: *VA glomps* Hello! Yes, well, you know Lupa loves to flirt…and we can't wait for the Order to catch up with Kain either….we love him, and he IS beautiful, but damn the man, the arrogance needs dealing with…

Lunatic Pandora1: *sniggering* Yes…it really WAS a rubber ducky. Raz tells me only truth. More with those pesky Knights this chapter!!

Nocturally_Damned: *waving furiously* Hi, Deedee!

Raziel: Knock it off, you're embarrassing yourselves…

But she's practically FAMOUS…you've seen "The Bargain"…anyhoo…glad you liked it *hands over a cloth to clean the monitor*

Fallen Templar: *big grin* The Order will be on their way shortly. We've told them you've been without the touch of another person for six years. Expect resistance! *salutes*

Guardian of Tears: *VA smiles* Hey Moj! Have more candy. If you don't, I'll eat it all…and don't molest that pirate any more than strictly necessary!

Windrider Sylvanon: *swipes candy away* There you go, Zeph, Pheon. She should be easier to control now. Just make sure you let her out of the straitjacket in time to review…

Natasha Compagnon:  We LIKE to be evil to Young Kain. It's just a ploy so that if he gets hurt in any small way we have the excuse to nurse him until he's better. *big innocent smile*

Sadly, people in the Nexus only get resurrected under very carefully proscribed circumstances, and this isn't one of them.

Kaya De Crystalline: *throws more candy* Here ya go. Glad you're liking the story so far!

Marcus is moodily tipping out soup pans into the drains at the back of the soup kitchen when someone taps him on the shoulder.

Faustus: *hisses* Don't turn around.

Marcus: Why, for Dark God's sake? I know it's you, Faustus, I can smell the pomade.

Faustus: Because if you turn around there's a good chance I will kill myself laughing at your apron. Now. Listen carefully. I think we may have a small problem.

Marcus: What's this 'we' all of a sudden? *freezes, horrified* What have you done?

Faustus:…there's a mage after me.

Marcus: Well, I told you that…

Faustus: No! This one's taller and much nastier.

He pauses.

Faustus: *rapidly* …andImayhavekidnappedsomeone.

Marcus: *turns around in a fury* You what?!

Vladimir: *small voice* Actually, I think it's quite a nice apron…

Marcus: *fuming* Who's THIS?

Vladimir: *who has gone beyond terror by now* Hi. Nice to meet you. Bald is the new black, you know.

Faustus: *wearily* He was with the female who stole my shirt. And can't you smell it?

He shoves Vladimir up close into Marcus' face.

Vladimir: *affronted* I don't smell of anything. I bathe.

Marcus sniffs in disbelief.

Marcus: …Kain?

Faustus grins nastily.

Faustus: The reek of Kain is all over him. They must be friends.

Vladimir: *weakly* Friends is a strong word…

Marcus: But you know him.

Vladimir: He lives in my house. 

Faustus: And the mage?

Vladimir: *miserably* Which one?

Faustus: Either.

Vladimir: They're both staying with me. Everyone stays with me. It's like a hostel for the Terminally Strange.

Faustus grabs Marcus by the arm and hisses into his ear.

Faustus: We cannot take on Kain in that house if it's full of mages and werewolves and Dark Gods know what else. Kain must come to us…alone.

Marcus: Very well. You!

He flicks Vladimir in the ear.

Vladimir: Ow!

Marcus: How may we best contact your…little associates?

Vladimir: *weakly* If you want Lupa, I can probably find you a phone box with her number written in it…

Marcus: *glances at Faustus* Lupa…will this "Lupa" do?

Vladimir: *tired* There's very little she won't do, so I've heard…Ow!

Marcus clouts him again.

Faustus: That must be the she-wolf who attacked me…yes…she'll do very well.

Marcus: *as he drags Vladimir off by the arm* Really, Faustus - can you go anywhere without females hurling themselves at you?

 Faustus: …nowhere I've been yet, no.

Meanwhile, the somewhat bewildered party of Glyph Knights has located Magnus in the insane-and-dangerous lockup of the mages' headquarters after following a trail of train debris through the city. The mad vampire has been placed under several calming spells and bogged down with enough bloody hunks of meat that he is sleeping, more or less peacefully, in a cell.

The Mage in charge of the lockup takes one look at the shuffling group of Knights and glares.

Mage: So this being is from your dimension, is he?

The Glyph Knights look nervously at one another and the highest ranking clears his throat.

Glyph Knight: Um…Yes...

The mage stands, her robes of office swirling about her, and holds out a clipboard.

Mage: Sign this.

Glyph Knight: ...What is it?

The mage thrusts the clipboard into the Knight's hands and glares, saying nothing. The Knight skims the document, thankful that it's written in a language he can read, and his eyes grow wide when he realises it's a bill.

Mage: *slowly, angrily* That creature in there damaged a tram, shattered a butcher store window, consumed most of the meats within, and when our mages found him, he was about to start work on the butcher! It took five immobility spells to subdue him, and the remainder of the meat to keep him from hurting himself once we got him in the cell!

The Knights exchange glances uneasily and their armour clanks as they fidget.

Glyph Knight: Uh... we're sorry?

The mage scoffs.

Glyph Knight: Can we have him back, then?

Mage: Pay the bill and we'll talk about releasing him into your custody.

The Knight looks to his subordinates, who step up threateningly and raise their weapons. This, at least, is a situation they're comfortable with. The mage looks at them with a raised eyebrow.

Mage: You must be joking.

Glyph Knight: *sternly* Release him and we'll leave you unharmed.

The mage rolls her eyes and takes back the clipboard, scribbling a few things on the bottom. The lead knight smiles to himself and looks down at the paper as she hands it back to him. The smile disappears and he reads the new total.

Mage: *smiling helpfully* That's for the shield spell.

Glyph Knight: What shield spell?

One of his soldiers starts forward threateningly and slams into a wall of purple energy.

Mage: That shield spell.

The lead Knight calls off his now staggering comrade and grimaces, looking at the stern face of the mage. He looks around the room, at the backup mages who have come in the far door, and grimaces.

Glyph Knight: I don't have the authority to sign this.

Mage: *blandly* Then come back with someone who does. Until then, we'll keep your... creature, here. *smiles brightly at them* Thank you for using Nexus Public Security Services.

Glyph Knight: *deadpan* Fine.

As the Glyph Knights turn and head out of the room, the Mage calls out to them.

Mage: Be advised that every day we keep him locked up, it costs more.

The lead knight growls angrily as he leaves.

Back at Vladimir's house, the phone rings. Kurt looks up from a box of leftover pizza and teleports over to it.


Kurt: Ja, hallo?

 
Faustus: *on the phone* ....... Is Lupa there?

Kurt: Nein, she's out at the moment. Can I take a message?

Faustus: ... No, I'll call again later. *click*

Kurt shrugs and hangs up the phone.

Fifteen minutes later he has eaten the leftover pizza and is drinking cola on the couch as he watches television. The phone rings again.

Kurt: *picking up* Guten Abend, Herr Bockwurst's Salad and Generous Pizza Emporium, kann ich Ihnen helfen?

Faustus: ….does Lupa work there?

Kurt: *vastly amused* Let me check.

He holds the reciever away from his face and rattles off a string of angry, interrogative German, extremely loudly.

Faustus: *grimaces and stares at the phone in disbelief*

Marcus: *impatiently* Well, what is it?

Faustus waves him into silence as Kurt comes back on the line.

Kurt: *smooth and helpfully* I'm sorry sir, she doesn't seem to be here. Would you like to make a reservation?

Faustus: What? No! Look, if she should come in -

But Kurt has hung up.

Faustus: This place is an insane asylum!

Marcus: Here. Let me try.

He grabs the phone and Vladimir directs him towards the redial button.

Marcus: *glaring at Vladimir, who shudders* If this doesn't work soon, cat-creature, we shall just have to eat you…

Kurt: *picking up and trying not to giggle* Hello?

Marcus: Is this where Lupa lives?

Kurt: No, this is the Nexus Order of Happy Contact charity line. How would you like to make your donation?

Marcus: Aaah!

He drops the phone as if it's red hot and Kurt, shrugging, hangs up again.

Faustus: Marcus, are you losing your nerve as well as your hair?

He snatches up the phone and stabs at the buttons.

Faustus: *into the phone* I demand to speak to Lupa.

Kurt: *crossly* I've told you before.

Faustus: What?

Kurt: Look, pal, I don't care how many phone boxes you found this number in, this is a decent respectable house, verstehen?. There's no Lupa, no Good-Time Sally, no Tiffany Tickler and absolutely no…hang on a minute.

He covers the mouthpiece because the door at Vladimir's has just opened and Lupa, Celia and the rest have returned, dejectedly.

Kurt: …Lupa? Phone for you.

Lupa pads across and takes the receiver.

Lupa: Hello?
 
Faustus: *annoyed tone* Is this Lupa?

Lupa's cute-male switch turns on and her voice turns sultry.

Lupa: Why yes... what can I do for you?

Faustus: *purring* You can deliver Kain in exchange for your lion-man.

Lupa: *shocked* Faustus?

All activity around the house stops. Everyone turns to look at Lupa on the phone.  Young Kain grabs the receiver from her and starts talking into the earpiece.

Young Kain: You tarty little traitor - give me one reason why I shouldn't reach into this device and rip off your head!


Faustus: *pleasantly* Hello there, Kain!

Young Kain: *furious* Don't you hello me!

Old Kain, growing annoyed with how absurd his younger self looks, grabs the receiver, turns it right way up and covers the mouthpiece with his hand.

Old Kain: *quietly, to Lupa* What did he say?

Lupa: *gulps* He wants you for Vladimir.

Kurt: Someone's taken Vladimir? Verdamnt…


Faustus: *on the phone* Kain? Kain are you still there?

Old Kain: *pauses for a moment* I am. What do you want of me?

Faustus: *pompously* We have your friend, the cat-creature, Vladimir. Be assured that he will suffer greatly unless you surrender yourself to us.

Old Kain: *slowly* "We"? Who else is there with you?

Marcus: *leans in* Hello Kain. It's good to see you're up and about again…I was beginning to think I'd never get the chance to kill you.

Old Kain: *calmly* Hello, Marcus.

At the mere mention of the name, Young Kain promptly throws a spectacular tantrum, hissing and trying to get at the phone. Raziel and Krobelus knock him down and sit on him.

Faustus: *smugly* You see, Kain, you really have no choice. Deliver yourself to us in one hour or we will kill Vladimir. And make sure you bring my jacket with you, too.

Old Kain glances across at Celia and frowns slightly: Celia raises one eyebrow in a "hey -what?" manner.

Old Kain: Faustus…where are you?

Marcus slaps Faustus on the arm urgently.

Marcus: Don't tell him!

Faustus: *covering the phone* If I don't tell him how will he know where to bring my jacket?

Marcus: Tell him to meet us at the soup kitchen edifice.

Old Kain: *patiently* Problems, gentlemen?

Faustus: We shall be at the soup kitchen building. Meet us there in one hour. Alone. If you're late or I smell that you've brought that mage with you, I will rip this mortal's throat out, do you understand?

Old Kain: *pauses again and looks thoughtfully at Kurt* I understand. Let me speak to Vladimir.

Faustus: Why should I let you do that?

Old Kain: *cheerfully* because unless you can prove to me he's still alive I shall waste no time in hunting you both down like the sad little mosquitoes you are and using your ribs for xylophone practice. Now, do you understand me, Faustus?

Faustus holds the phone to Vladimir's head.

Vladimir: Hello…?

Old Kain: Try not to irritate them too much.

Vladimir: How do I do that?

Old Kain: *heavily* they are both immensely vain and stupid, and will become incensed if they feel you are in any way cleverer than they are. Basically, just try and act like a brain-damaged carrot and you'll be fine.

He hangs up before Vladimir can reply, and ignoring all the queries from Lupa and the others he crosses to the umbrella-stand by the door and draws the twisted length of the Soul Reaver out from behind the duck umbrella.

Old Kain: *making a practice swipe* Fools. They want me? Then they shall have me.

Young Kain: My sword!

He makes a grab for it but retreats under the acid scowl of his older self. Raziel restrains him.

Raziel: *thoughtfully* Actually, I find anyone making claims on that sword other than me rather laughable these days…

Lupa: *to Old Kain* But they don't want you…they want him…

She points to Young Kain, who is now sulking in Raziel's grasp.

Old Kain: *smiling grimly* Well, then they should have been more specific, shouldn't they?

He strides to the door, turning only once to nod at Kurt.

Old Kain: Mr Wagner, a word, if you please. Everyone else, stay here.

Krobelus: It's my job to go with you.

Old Kain: They will kill him if you do. I know them, and they may be stupid, but they are true to their word.

Young Kain: *annoyed*  Are you forgetting that Faustus was in my army, fighting my war, and he changed sides? 

Old Kain rolls his eyes and holds a hand out to Celia, motioning to the jacket.  She takes it off with a pout and a sigh and gives it to him.

Lupa: Ah, he's a turncoat then?

Kurt: *covers his ears*  Ach - bad pun!

Old Kain: *ignoring them, to Krobelus*  Stay here with Lupa and Celia, protect them.

Celia: Excuse me? Him, protect me?

Krobelus: *looking pained* Do I have to?

Old Kain stalks out of the door, and Kurt, shrugging helplessly, follows him.

Sebastian has found his way to the house and is lurking in the shadows of an old eucalyptus tree in Vladimir's garden. He sniffs cautiously about the gate, raising an eyebrow as he realises it leads back to Nosgoth. Amongst the other scents he catches Kain's, and bares his teeth in a hiss of displeasure.

Creeping through the foliage, he takes in a few deep breaths. There are two familiar scents, and one that seems familiar - yet somehow isn't. He stands in the shadows, confused, and waits.

There are lights on in the windows: several people move within, and there is the sharp scent of strange magic. Sebastian moves quickly and cautiously to the front of the house, hiding as far from the door as he can while still keeping it in view. The door opens, and a white-haired figure, bearing the Soul Reaver, emerges from the building. Sebastian's eyes go wide and he looks down at the sketchpad in his hands - it is the same being. He dares not speak, for fear of the creature hearing him, but mouths a curse.  When he notices the familiar red jacket hanging from the creature's other hand, he mouths a second curse.  On the heels of the white-haired being is a smaller figure, blue-skinned with glowing yellow eyes, shrugging on a jacket. His blue devil's tail switches. A woman in dark blue trousers and a small red shirt hangs out the door.

Lupa: *shouting*  If they harm one hair of his mane, I'll hold you responsible, Kain!

Sebastian: *silently, to himself* Oh dark Gods...

Older Kain: *to Kurt* Does she rhyme often?

Kurt: Nein, only when she's upset.

Sebastian watches the millennia-old vampire wave a negligent hand at the woman and walk off down the street. She grimaces at the vampire's back and disappears back into the house, slamming the door in a temper. 

Sebastian: *under his breath* Oh Kain, Kain, Kain…you should be old enough to know better…

He waits until Kain and the other are well out of sight before creeping towards one of the house's open windows.

Inside, Lupa sits down heavily on the couch and sulks. Young Kain, looking equally sulky, sits down beside her.

Lupa: *listlessly* Anyone for a game of Twister?

Young Kain: *rebelliously, glaring at Raziel* Only if he's not allowed to play.

Krobelus: *pointedly* I won't play if she plays *pointing at Celia, who smiles sweetly at him and tosses a ball of water idly in one hand in an oh-my-looky-here-whatever-can-I-do-with-this sort of way*

Celia: Honey, I wouldn't play with you if you were the last mage in the universe…

Raziel: And I'm not playing on principle.

Celia: What principle?

Raziel: The principle that it's childish.

Lupa: He's lying. He won't play because he loses all the time.

Raziel: *evilly* Is that so?

He flares his ragged wings and pounces across the room, knocking the couch onto its back and tipping Young Kain and Lupa into a heap. He then proceeds to pull Lupa's hair.

Lupa: Aaaah! Cheat! Girly-fighter!

Raziel: *pulling* Take it back. Take it back or I pull it out by the roots.

Lupa: You're a girly. I'm telling everyone in Nosgoth, Raziel fights like a girl.

Young Kain: *muffled* Get OFF!! Both of you!

Celia: *looking at the struggling pile of Raziel, Lupa and Young Kain* I'm sure you're supposed to have a mat to play Twister….

Krobelus: Lupa? Right hand…vampire.

Lupa's claws dig into Young Kain's chest and he yelps.

Krobelus chuckles nastily.

Krobelus: Well, what do you know. Party games ARE harmless fun for all.

Owing to the general screeching and thumping, no-one notices the fact that Sebastian has managed to lower himself in through the kitchen window until he knocks over a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Dishwater narrowly misses his legs.

Sebastian: *to himself* Damn!

Celia: *to Krobelus* What was that?

Krobelus: *kindly* Your one and only brain cell's death rattle?

Celia: *turning on him* You know, I really don't know what your problem is….

More dishes slide to the floor and break, noisily. Raziel stops in mid-hair-pull, and Lupa, finding herself somehow unavoidably tangled up in Young Kain's legs, ceases struggling. Silence descends.

Celia: *quietly* ….but right now I think we have other problems.