Notes: Chapter1- "I Decide"
By Katrina Donovan
I do not own Stargate, it's Characters, actors, or story lines. (If I did, well I would be a lot happier that's all I have to say!) I do not own Lindsay Lohan or the lyrics to her song "I Decide"
Spoilers: This does take place after "Affinity"...anything that happens after that timetable in this series is pure want and speculation on my part. Maybe TPTB should read it and take some notes!
I Decide
I don't know whether or not I should cry or scream! I am looking at the note Jack...not General...not O'Neill, but JACK left on my lab door. And now it all makes sense. His mood change...him slowly cutting himself off from me...yet still keeping himself open if I need him. I can't be mad at him for this note. He is doing what I wish he had done over 4 years ago. He is taking it out of the room...but why not face to face? That I don't understand.
Had any other person not familiar with this whole...whole...mess...seen this note, well they might have seen it as Jack giving me an ultimatum. But I know what it is. It's Jack O'Neill's way of putting him self out there. We it comes it his feelings...well...he is not one to talk about them. Point in case...2 weeks after Pete gave me the ring...and I asked Jack, "What about us? What if things had been different?", and he responded "I wouldn't be here." and left it at that. Then I thought he was just trying to avoid the issue entirely...but now...after seeing this...that one line says so much.
He basically said that he would have given it all up just to be with me...and now I am left with a decision to make. I have told Pete yes...but nothing is set in stone...and it did take me almost 3 weeks to give him an answer. Most women would have given him an answer in 3 seconds. The tables have been turned...and either way someone is gonna walk away hurt. Pete has given up so much for me...and yet so has Jack. Jack has basically given me up in order to ensure my happiness. I search my desk for a piece of paper. I quickly jot something down. Knowing that he is already off base, I make my way to his office and slip that paper under his office door
Jack makes his way back to his office. He had forgotten some files he had wanted to take home and his Simpson's season 3 DVD set that Siler had borrowed. As he opened his office door he saw a small piece of white not paper lying on the floor. He picked it up and read it...
Jack-
Don't think you're ever gonna hold me down
Couldn't do it then, can't do it now
I'm kickin' down all the fences
I'm gonna do it all and do too much
And if I mess the whole thing up,
It's my ride...I decide
I'm taking my own chances and finding my own answers
I am only answering to me and that's the way it's gonna be...
I decide
-Sam