A/N: This story is going to be a bit angsty. More than I've ever written, so bear with me. I couldn't decide to write from Ron or Hermione's point of view, so I'm written from both. I'm trying to decide if each chapter should include parts of the day that happened for each of the two. (Some occurrences will take place during both times, but will have different opinions.) Or if I should write a chapter with Ron's point of view, and a separate chapter with Hermione's. The first chapter is going to be the shortest chapter in the whole story, being only a page long. It takes place after the story, but I thought it would be a good way to start out my story. If you people don't like self-mutilation or anything along those lines, don't read the story. For those of you who do, you freak! I'm joking! I know that this story is going to be a hard topic. It's hard enough to write about. But it's been in my head for a while, so I've decided to just go for it. I hope that you'll like this story so that I can continue writing it. Thank you for taking the time to actually read it, I love you all SO much! AND, I'll love you even more if you review. –Hint-
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.
-Chapter One-
When one's dreams suddenly seem too far off, their natural instinct is to just give up I guess. But why give up? How can somebody just give up on dreams all together? It's just stupid! Just because your life might suck right now, doesn't mean it always will. It can only get better, right? That's exactly what I want to tell her, but how? So, being the obnoxious jerk that I am I usually just end up ignoring her. And what does that accomplish? Nothing really, I'm just an idiot.
But when did this start, and could I have prevented it? Could her life have been completely altered if I had actually took time out of my life and asked her how she was doing? What's sad is the answer is 'yes', none of this would have happened had I spent more time with her.
It's not that I didn't want to, anybody with two eyes could have seen that. I guess it's just that I was scared. Scared of getting close to her, maybe even closer than I had been with any other girl. Or, quite possibly it was because I'm just a selfish prat and didn't even stop to consider what was going on through her head.
You know, I don't think that I ever once took time out of my schedule to spend time with her. Ask her how she was doing, or see if she needed any help. But, I expected her to help out with whatever was bothering me. When I was behind in some nameless homework assignment it was always, "Hey Hermione, can I check your notes?" or "Hermione, will you help me?" Never, "Hey Hermione, do you want to take a break from your schoolwork and play a short game of exploding snap or wizards chess with me?"
Because of something that seems so meaningless to an average person, namely myself, I almost lost her. Not just the friendship that we had, or actually the friendship she had given to me. I don't think that I ever actually considered her a friend in my head. I just knew that she was there, and assumed she always would be. Oh man, I am such a stuck up jerk! I don't know how many times I have to say that before, I don't know.
I wish that I could just apologize to her, and I have thousands of times. I guess that what I actually hope is that I'll actually forgive myself for the pain that I caused her. The eternal hurt that I know will never leave her eyes. Even if others can't see it, I'll always know it's there. And I'll always know it's my fault. I could have done something to stop it.