Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Elladan: Well, so far you haven't managed to annoy or humiliate us Legolas: Don't trust her, Elladanshe lulls you into a false sense of security, then...WHACK! She smacks you upside the head with a nude scene! Elladan: I don't mind doing nude scenes if they're vital to the plot, and are done in good taste. Legolas: They're NEVER vital to the plot, and they're NEVER done in good taste. Me: Hey, I resent that! I always write artistic nude scenes! Legolas: You wouldn't know an artistic nude scene if it came up and bit you on the ass! Me: Oh, I am SO going to make you suffer in this story!

Chapter 2

The Photo Shoot

"Okay, I want angry. I want snarling. I want dangerous! I want deadly!" The photographer instructed, looking through his viewfinder. "Come on, growl at the cameramake me feel threatened!" He motioned to a crewmember, who turned on the industrial fan to the left of the set, sending a strong breeze onto the set, lifting up the long, silver strands of the model's hair.

The model, shirt and sock less, clad only in a pair of black jeans, his flesh slicked with sweat, crawled threateningly toward the camera. His muscles rippled beneath his skin, lips parted in a sneer, and his striking gray eyes bored holes in the camera's lens.

"Awesome, baby! You're setting my camera on fire! Work it, baby, work it! That's greatit's a wrap." The photographer quickly turned his attention from the model to his crew, leaving the model to dress.

Someone handed him a robe, and Haldir slipped it over his muscular shoulders. Someone else handed him a bottle of Perrier, and still another person handed him a cell phone.

"You've had several calls this morning, Mr. Haldir," his secretary, a rather severe looking woman named Myrtle said, scurrying beside him, flipping through a stack of little pink "while you were out" messages.

Haldir sighed, and took a seat in the director's chair that had his name printed on the back. A make-up artist started patting his cheeks with a bronzing powder, while another hairdresser fussed with his long, silver hair. "Who, what, where, when, why, and how?" he asked his secretary, sipping the bottle of sparkling water.

"Your hair dresser calledsaid it was about time for your deep conditioning treatment."

"Next.

"Your brother, Rumil called and said to remind you about next week's brunch with him and Orophin."

"Next."

"The Armani people calledagain. They need an answer about the fall show in Milan."

"Next."

"Someone named Bambi, with an "i", called and wanted to know why you haven't called her."

"Next."

"The Victoria's Secret people called. They want you for the new "Angels" spread."

"Next."

"Someone named Tiffani, with "two i's" called and wanted to know why you haven't called her."

"Next."

"The GQ people called. They want to re-shoot the October issue."

"Next."

"Someone by the name of Legolas Greenleaf called. He said he was an old friend of yours. He wants you to call him as soon as possible...said it's extremely urgent."

Haldir lifted an eyebrow at the mention of Legolas' name. "Haven't heard from Legolas in ageswonder what he's up to now?" he thought to himself. "I'll answer that last one," Haldir said, taking the pink message slip from Myrtle, "Call my hairdresser and make an appointment for Tuesday at 4:00, send flowers to the two "I" girls, and get the rest of the messages to my agent."

"Very good, Mr. Haldir," Myrtle replied, bustling off to call Haldir's hairdresser, his agent, and the florist.

Haldir flipped open his phone and dialed the number on the pink message slip. It rang a half dozen times, before a familiar voice answered.

"Hello, Greenleaf Productions."

"Legolas? It's Haldir."

"Haldir! Well, well, March Wardenit's been a very long time! Thanks for getting back to me," Legolas answered. Haldir could hear the happiness in his voiceit had been too long since they last spoke.

Haldir laughed at Legolas' use of the title he had held centuries ago in Lothlorien. "It's good to hear your voice, Prince of Mirkwood."

Now it was Legolas' turn to chuckle. "No one's called me that since before the Renaissance, Haldir! So, Mr. Big-Shot-Male-Model-of-the-Year, I hear they're keeping you pretty busy on the runways and with the ad campaigns! And didn't I hear something about you shooting covers for some romance novels?"

"That was Fabio, not me. I don't do book covers. You should know me better than that," Haldir said, a little annoyed. "What can I do for you, Legolas? I'm kind of in the middle of a shootcan I call you later?"

"Well, this is pretty important, mellon nin," Legolas replied.

Legolas' use of the old tongue was not lost on Haldir. It could only mean that whatever Legolas wanted, it was, indeed, very important to him.

"I've called a bunch of the old gang - Elladan, Elrohir, Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, and a few others. As a matter of fact I just got off the phone with Orophin and Rumil. We're meeting in Orlando tonight at the Breeze. Can you make it?" Legolas asked.

"Orlando? Legolas, I'm in New York" Haldir informed his old friend.

'I know, I knowI can have a plane waiting at JFK for you. Two and a half-hour flightyou take the meeting with usyou're back in New York before breakfast. Come on, Haldirwhat do you say?"

"The old gang, huh? It would be great to see everyone againokay! Make it happen, buddy,' Haldir said, "I'll see you at the Breeze."

"Awesome! See you soon," Legolas laughed, breaking the connection.

Haldir slowly closed the flip phone, his thoughts fifteen hundred miles south and a thousand years in the past. Images of the people he had grown up with, lived with, loved with, and fought with passed in his mind's eye.

"Pardon me, Haldir," the photographer said, approaching the tall Elf. "I'd like to get just a few more shots for the layout, if that's okay with you"

"Make it fast, ArturoI have to wrap this up soon," Haldir instructed the photographer, standing up and slipping the robe from his shoulders.

"Got a hot date for after the shoot, Haldir?" the photographer kidded, secretly thinking he'd give his left eyetooth to live this Elf's life.

'Nopewell, sort ofI'm going to DisneyWorld!" Haldir replied, laughing at the confused look on the photographer's face. He walked back on the set to begin shooting.