Notes: Chapter4- "Breakaway, pt.1"
By Katrina Donovan
I do not own Stargate, its Characters, actors, or story lines. (If I did, well I would be a lot happier that's all I have to say!) I do not own Kelly Clarkson or the lyrics to her song "Breakaway"
Spoilers: This does take place after "Affinity"...anything that happens after that timetable in this series is pure want and speculation on my part. Maybe TPTB should read it and take some notes!

Breakaway, pt.1

What the Hell is going on!?! How is this happening? More importantly, why is this happening? Why now? Why not 9 months ago? He has the worst timing EVER! The worst I tell you. Is he trying to make me doubt myself?

"No." I jump in my chair. Damn Special Ops Training. I didn't even hear him walk in. Hell I didn't even know I was talking out loud. He looks at my hands, taking in the fact that I am now clutching the wedding photo. "Handsome Couple" is all he says. "Sir what can I do for you?" He gives me a blank look. "I came to see if you were done with your report. I thought I would save you the trouble of brining it to my office."

I look at him and I am stunned. What have I done to him? "Look Carter, if you aren't done that's fine. You do have until the end of the day." He turns to leave, his back facing me. "Jack..." he stops walking, and he slowly turns to face me. His eyes are full of pain, and surprisingly, love. "Don't" is all he says before he continues to walking out of my lab and down the hall.

Suddenly my left hand feels very heavy. What have I done to Jack O'Neill? How could I have broken him? I never thought it possible. I honestly never thought he cared that much. I just thought it was a one sided love, that one side being my side. DAMN! I have some serious thinking to do. Do I love Pete? No, I like him, but I can't say I love him or that I am in love with him. Am I going to marry Pete? Good question! If I were to back out now, I know he would be hurt. But I know he would move on. Something tells me that if I marry Pete, I will lose Jack forever. That is something I can not and will not do. I almost lost him twice this year. I don't think I could handle seeing him everyday knowing he wants nothing to do with me.

So now I must make a decision. What am I willing to give up to prove to Jack that I sill love him and that I am sorry for hurting him? Am I willing to give up Pete and everything he has promised me? Hell Ya! I would give up the white picket fence and 2.5 kids if it means I still had Jack O'Neill in my life. I reach down to my left hand and slide the modest ring off my finger. Suddenly my hand doesn't feel so heavy. I put the ring back into its box and then place the box in my purse.

Now that we have all that settled, I still have one more question to answer. Am I willing to give up the Air Force? I wouldn't mind working in a civilian capacity. I would have more freedom where my work is concerned, and honestly going off world doesn't hold the thrill that it used to. It's not the same without him. Yeah, I think it's finally time to just breakaway.

I look at my watch and realized that it's lunch time which means he will be in the mess eating with Teal'c and Danny. I grab the wedding photo and a pin. I scribble something on the back. I then take off my dog tags. I look at them carefully. I can't help by smile. I open my top left hand drawer and pull out a small photo album. I flip through a couple of pages before I find the picture I am looking for. It's a team photo. It was taken the day Jonas returned to his home. There is the original SG-1, Janet, Jonas, Dad, and General Hammond of course. I then reach for a small post-it. I scribble down a short note and then make my way to his office making sure I also have the report he was asking about earlier.

General Jack O'Neill was walking down the hall to his office. He was deep in thought. You could tell by the way his hands were shoved deep into his pockets and by the way he watched ever single step he made. He was deep in thought. He was wondering why is former 2IC had not joined him and their friends for lunch. He walked into his office. Sat down at his desk and noticed that a new folder had been added. He realized it was Sam's report. He picked it up to read it when he heard something jingle. It was a set of dog tags. Upon further investigation he realized they were Sam's dog tags. He picked them up and noticed that they were lying on not one, but two photos. He picked up the first one. He remembered the photo and he remembered the day that photo had been taken. It was a family photo of sorts. He smiled, and then frowned when he noticed the second photo. It was one of the photos that he had left her. It was the picture that had belonged to the other Sam and Jack. It was then he noticed the little pink post-it that was stuck to the back of the photo. He began to read it out loud...

Jack-

Wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here

So I prayed...

I'll spread my wings, and I'll learn how to fly

I'll do what it takes til I touch the sky

Make a wish, take a chance, make a change...

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget all the ones that I love

Take a risk, take a chance, make a change

And BREAKAWAY

-DR. Sam

I am in need of some help....I can't decided if I want Jack to be a bit dense in understanding what Sam is trying to tell him with these lyrics. If anyone can suggest a song...please email me at .

Huggles

Katrina