Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Legolas: See, Elladansee what she did to Haldir in that last chapter? I told you so! Me: What did I do? He wasn't naked. Haldir: Do NOT give her any ideas, Legolas! At least I had pants on. Elladan: I thought it was a cool chapter. Elrohir: Yeah, I liked it, too. Me: Oh, I like these boys more and more everyday Legolas: Am I the only sane one here?
A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers who I haven't been able to email! You guys rock! For Jasmin3 Firewing - now, I can't give too much of the plot away (especially since I haven't written it yet), but I think all will become clear as the story progresses
Chapter 3
Shooting the Breeze
The Breeze was a small, Caribbean-styled restaurant located in the very heart of tourist alley in Orlando. Surrounded by a huge, wrap-around porch, decorated with colorful fish, shells, nets, and water-inspired artwork, pulsing with reggae music, The Breeze happened to be a favorite meeting place for Elves. Partly because of the coconut encrusted shrimp entree, which, for some reason, Elves simply adored, but mostly because of the gigantic frozen Margaritas the establishment served.
Elrond, Elladan, and Elrohir had commandeered the largest table in the house, and sat talking quietly among themselves, occasionally sipping out of the huge Margarita glasses in front of them. They were aware, as always, of the sideways glances, and outright stares, of the human diners, but had learned over the centuries to ignore them. For the most part, it was the females doing the staring. It wasn't unusual for females, and sometimes males - which was another story altogether - to approach them, or try to buy them drinks. Depending on the circumstance, the Elves often welcomed the company.
Elves weren't nearly as plentiful as humans, having learned long ago the art, and benefits, of contraception - unlike humans, who seemed to breed like rabbits - but there were enough of them to be fairly commonplace. Half-Elven were quite a bit more widespread than full-blooded Elves, but, since you really couldn't tell the difference by sight, most humans didn't make the distinction.
Like almost all races on the planet, there had been difficult, dark times in Elven history. After the War of the Rings, the world of Men had grown by leaps and bounds, encroaching on the territory of Elves. Skirmishes had progressed into all out war, and eventually, the Elves were overpowered by numbers - as skilled and deadly fighters as the Elves were, Men simply outnumbered them. There was a black period of time during the Middle Ages when Elves were often labeled "witches" or "demons" and persecuted as such, or simply taken as slaves.
However, their love of art, music, and writing transcended their bonds, and the Renaissance blossomed from their efforts. Many of the great works of art that survived from that period were inspired by Elvesfor example, if one had been able to pull back Mona Lisa's hair, one would have seen pointy ears. Mona hated that painting to this day, because she insists that not only did Da Vinci make her look fat, but he forgot to give her eyebrows.
Eventually, Elves found themselves the favorites of the courts, and saw their freedom restored. Living and working side by side with humans, they traveled extensively, many even sailing west to the New World, which the humans called the Americas, but the Elves called Aman.
Which brings us back to The Breeze, where other Elves had begun to arrive. Galadriel and Celeborn had arrived, along with Glorfindel, Erestor, Rumil, and Orophin. Bright smiles, warm hugs, and much backslapping ensued as they greeted one another.
"Galadriel! You look as beautiful as ever," Elrond said, kissing her slim hand.
"Elrond, you're still the charmer!" She giggled. "And look at your boys! Why I never would have thought they could be so well behaved!"
Laughing, Elladan said, "It's been many centuries since we ran wild and pulled pranks on everyone. We're all grown up now, Grandmother!"
"Uh, ohI wouldn't call her 'grandmother' if you know what's good for you, Elladanshe thinks it makes her sound old!" Celeborn laughed, kissing his wife on the cheek.
"Don't you believe him for one minute, Galadriel," Elrond said, jerking his thumb at his handsome son. "Just last week they had 42 pizzas sent to my house at four o'clock in the morning. They're every bit as mischievous now as they were a thousand years ago!"
"Where's Arwen and Eldarion?" asked Erestor, seeing Elrond's daughter and grandson were missing from the table.
"They're in Japan, promoting their new line of cosmetics. They couldn't get back here in time, but I promised to fill them both in when they get back."
"Glorfindel!" Elrohir said, thumping the older Elf on the back. "I hear the Devils may get to the playoffs this year!"
"Of coursehow could they not if I'm playing for them?" Glorfindel replied, lifting an eyebrow.
"Still the humble balrog-slayer, huh?" Erestor laughed, shaking hands with his old friend.
"I calls 'em as I sees 'em, 'Restor," Glorfindel chuckled, taking a seat at the table.
"How's your big brother doing these days?" Celeborn asked Rumil and Orophin. "I can't seem to pass a magazine stand lately without seeing his ugly puss staring out at me!"
"Ugly puss, huh?" Haldir said, as approached their table. "I'll have you know that this 'ugly puss' is one of the highest paid models in the industry!"
"Ugly is ugly, no matter how much money it earns!" Celeborn laughed, hugging Haldir.
Looking around, Haldir asked, "Where's Legolas? It figures that I'd fly all the way down here, and he's late"
Waitress brought more Margaritas to the table, as the Elves talked about old times, and got caught up on each other's lives. Suddenly, a flurry of interest at the entrance caught their attention.
A tall figure had stepped through the door, dressed in a perfectly tailored, charcoal gray Armani suit, and Gucci sunglasses, long, silken, golden hair hanging halfway down his back. He strode into the restaurant oblivious to the stir he was causing, his attention focussed solely on the group of Elves seated toward the back.
Approaching the table, he broke out into a wide grin, as one after another of the Elves rose to greet him.
"Legolas!" Haldir exclaimed, gripping the newcomer in a tremendous bear hug. "Look at you! Is that Armani? You must be doing well!"
"Haldir, you old bear! It is so good to see youthank you for coming" Legolas replied pounding his friend on the back.
"Whoanever thought you'd be one to be a suit, Legolas!" Glorfindel laughed, looking his friend up and down. "You work in bank now, or something equally boring?"
"No, GloryI own a production company in L.A.," Legolas replied, smiling.
"Hollywood? YOU? Weren't you the one that was afraid those newfangled cameras would steal your soul?" Erestor teased, lifting an eyebrow.
"That was well over a century ago, Erestorso much has changed since then! Let's all sit down, so I can explain why I called you all here," Legolas chuckled, motioning for everyone to have a seat.
Sitting down, the conversation continued, each filling the others in on what had been going on in their lives lately. They ordered dinner - coconut encrusted shrimp all around - and refills on their drinks.
After dinner, the Elves gave Legolas their attention. Taking a swig of his frozen Green Apple Margarita, Legolas took a deep breath and began.
"I'm sure you all have seen the trilogy of movies by Peter Jackson called the Lord of the Rings, right?" he began, looking from face to face.
"Argh! Those movies were the bane of my existence for years!" Elrond said, rolling his eyes. "Every time someone heard my name, they'd ask me about that stupid ringor about you, Legolas! And exactly where did they find that actor to play me, anyway? Those eyebrows of his were annoying."
"After those movies came out, I realized that I should have wrung Tolkien's scrawny neck when he interviewed me for the books," Glorfindel added.
"You're just pissed because you weren't in the movies, Glory!" Celeborn laughed, slapping his friend on the shoulder.
Legolas waited until the conversation died down, before continuing. He smirked a half-smile, and confessed, "I put some of the money up for those moviesand I was a consultant."
"WHAT? You backed those three-hour drivel marathons! Why?" Haldir asked, looking shocked.
"I take umbrage to calling them "drivel," Haldir," Legolas growled, a bit of the old warrior showing through his polished demeanor. "The last installment, Return of the King won 11 Oscarsdo you know how much money that translates into?"
"Is it all about the money, Legolas? I wouldn't have taken you for that type of Elf," Galadriel asked, looking concerned.
'Noit actually wasn't about the money at all. I have enough money to last me forever, between real estate and investments," Legolas answered, waving his hand dismissively. "It happened like thisI was producing a sitcom for FOX. As part of the publicity for the show, the actors paid a visit to a local elementary school and I went along. The classes we visited had both human children and elflings in them. When the kids realized I was an Elf, they started asking me all kinds of questionsand I realized that not one of them knew much about the history of Elves. No one knew what we had gone through back in the daywhat we had fought for sacrificed fordied for! Kids were taught history, but no one ever mentioned the War of the Ringas if it never happened! I wanted to change that. I wanted to make sure that everyone on the planet knew about Aragornabout Theodenabout Eowyn, Eomer, and Faramirthe Hobbits, Gimli, Gandalfeveryone! I took a look at the history Tolkien had written, and decided that they would make terrific feature films. I approached Peter Jackson, and, well, the rest is history!"
"Well, that explains a lot, and I now understand your motives, but what does that have to do with us?" Galadriel asked, spreading her hands out and indicating everyone at the table.
"Okay. I don't want anyone to say anything until after I've finished, and I want you all to give serious consideration to my proposal," Legolas continued, looking each of them in the eye.
"I'm giving a fundraiser to raise awareness of Elven historyand to raise money to institute a new history program in underprivileged school districts, as well as a scholarship fund. The actors from the movies will be making an appearance at the eventand I want you to be there as well."
"Us? Why us? No one will be interested in seeing us - well, maybe they'd be interested in seeing Haldir or Glorfindel, but who wants to see timeshare salesmen?" Elladan laughed, indicating Elrohir and himself.
"Right! Who's going to line up to see an investment broker?" Elrond said, meaning himself, "or the owners of a chain of health food stores?" He nodded toward Celeborn and Galadriel.
"Not to mention a boring corporate accountant like myself," Erestor chimed in.
"They will be interested! This is exactly what I've been talking about - you are history! You were there! You would bring home the point that the history in the movies was real - the friendship, the magic, the love, the painall of it was real and happened to you!" Legolas exclaimed, fire in his eyes.
Stunned into silence, the Elves could do no more than look at each other.