Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or any of its characters. Me: Legolasthe twins are mad at me. Legolas: Wellwhat did you expect? Me: You TOLD me to do it! Legolas: I told you to drop their pants! There is a distinct difference between pants-dropping and naked Elves in a steel cage in a gay bar! Me: There's a difference?

Chapter 7

Beverly - Hills, That Is

"We've got a few weeks of vacation coming, you know" Elrohir said conversationally, stirring the cream into his coffee. "We should take it soon, before it gets busy again." Trying to appear nonchalant, he picked up a section of grapefruit and sprinkled it generously with sugar.

Elladan looked up from the newspaper he was reading, cocking an eyebrow at his twin. "What brought this on? Just last week you said we needed to spend more time at the office to increase our percentages"

"That was before I realized that we have a friend in Hollywood," Elrohir laughed. "Come on, 'Danwe have to go out there at the end of next week anyway - we promised Legolas. Let's just go out a little early and have some fun!"

"Wellwe could use a vacation" Elladan agreed, a slow smile edging its way across his face. The two of them jumped up from their chairs and raced each other down the hall to the small office between their bedrooms. Both making it to the doorway at the same time, their broad shoulders became wedged in the door as each tried to beat the other to the computer. Elrohir slipped through first, parked himself in the chair at the desk, and booted up the computer.

'Dan put one hand on the computer desk, leaning over his brother's shoulder, as Elrohir pulled up the flight schedule for their favorite airline at Orlando International Airport.

"There's a three o'clock flight today to L. A.," Elrohir said, running his finger down the numbers on the screen.

"Book itand don't go coach - I want first class. I'll call the office and tell the boss that we're taking our vacation," Elladan smiled, picking up his cell phone and dialing. Elrohir could hear him arguing with their boss about the short notice, but, considering how much the two had made for the resort over the years, the argument was short lived. Elrohir made the reservations for two roundtrip, first class tickets to L. A.

The two spent the morning in a packing frenzy, throwing clothes, shoes, and half the apartment into a rather haphazard collection of suitcases.

"Elrohir, why are you taking this?" Elladan asked, looking down into his brother's suitcase.

"We may need it out there," Elrohir replied, not turning from his task of folding underwear.

"I doubt that we'll be needing an eggbeater, 'Ro," Elladan said, pulling the kitchen utensil from his brother's bag. "I also doubt that we'll be needing a power drill."

"I don't like to be unprepared," Elrohir said indignantly, casting a look over his shoulder at his brother.

"Tell you whatif we need to drill any eggs while we're there, I'll buy you new ones," Elladan replied, rolling his eyes. He finished his own packing, and went into the kitchen to wait for Elrohir, not noticing that 'Ro slipped the eggbeater and power drill back in his suitcase, along with two cans of Fix-A-Flat and a roll of duct tape.

"Never hurts to be prepared," Elrohir thought to himself, snapping the suitcase shut and wheeling it into the living room.

Within a few hours of their decision, the twins were seated in the first class section of the plane, watching the runway speed by as the plane took off.

"Elrohirdo you think we should have called Legolas? We don't know where he lives."

"Nah! That would ruin the surprise. We'll swing by his office when we get therehe must be listed in the phone book,:" Elrohir replied, waving his hand dismissively.

They weren't long into the flight, when Elladan excused himself to use the restroom. 'Ro's eyes following him disinterestedly as his brother made his way up the aisle. Picking up a flight magazine, Elrohir began reading an article about the nightlife in L. A.

'Ro looked up from his magazine about fifteen minutes later, when a rather disheveled Elladan took his seat. 'Dan's shirt was partially untucked, and his hair was pulled out from the ponytail he had had it in when he had gone into the bathroom. Elrohir looked at his brother askance.

"Mile high club?" Elrohir asked, cocking an eyebrow and smirking.

"Yup."

"Who?" Elrohir asked, his head swiveling to survey the cabin. "That brunette with the blue silk shirt?"

"Nope."

"The redhead three rows back with the freckles?"

"Nope."

"Flight attendant?"

"Nope."

"Wellwho then?"

"Co-pilot."

"You screwed the Co-pilot in the bathroom? Please tell me the Co-pilot is a female."

'Dan gave Elrohir a disgusted look. "Of course, she's a female - very limber, by the way. Practices Tai Chi."

Elrohir nodded, and went back to reading his magazine. This happened to one or the other of them every flight - sometime both, sometimes more than once a flight. They didn't mind at all - it helped pass the time.

Arriving at LAX, Elrohir noticed the confused smile the Co-pilot gave them as they disembarked. She probably couldn't tell which one she had done the in-flight hokey pokey with. Smiling back, they waved, and walked into the airport.

Picking up their luggage at the carousel, they went outside and found a cab, and piled their luggage in the trunk.

"Where to?" the driver asked, looking at them in his rear view mirror.

"Umdon't know, really," Elladan said, looking questioningly at Elrohir.

"Ever heard of Greenleaf Productions?" 'Ro asked the driver.

"The one that's having that big shindig next week with all the characters from the Lord of the Rings? Yeah, that's all everybody's been talking about lately. You two working that party?" the driver asked, noticing their pointed ears.

"Sort ofcan you take us to their offices?"

"Sure thing, Bud." The driver pulled away from the curb, and they were soon flying down the freeway. Pulling up in front of an imposing dark glass building, he helped unload their luggage on the sidewalk.

The twins looked up at the building and saw "Greenleaf Productions" spelled out in shiny brass letters over the doorway, along with Legolas' logo of a bow and quiver of arrows.

Dragging their luggage into the foyer of the building, they approached the security desk.

"We'd like to see Legolas Greenleaf, please," Elladan said, placing his hands on the high counter of the security desk.

"You two have an appointment?" the guard asked, looking from one to the other.

"Not exactly, but he'll want to see us," Elrohir replied.

"Right. You two clowns know how many wannabes we get in here every day? Mr. Greenleaf never sees anybody without an appointment - ever. Now beat itI've got things to do," the guard said, turning back to the baseball game he had been watching on the small screen behind the desk.

The twins stared at each other, looked at the guard, then back at each other. Without saying a word, they both reached over and grabbed the guard's arms, hauling him up over the top of the desk.

Elrohir looked into the guards eyes, and growled, "If Mr. Greenleaf knew how you had just insulted two of his dearest friends, you would be sporting a arrow through the back of your head, right about now. Get on the phone, you lazy, disrespectful piece of shit, and call his office. Tell him that the Peredhil twins, 'Ro and 'Dan, are here."

The guard gulped as the twins released him. Looking at the faces of the incensed Elves, he quickly dialed the number for Legolas' office.

"Suzy? Umthere are twogentlemen here to see Mr. Greenleaf. No, they don't have an appointment. I told them that already. Suzy, if you want to get rid of them, get your fat ass down here and do it yourself! GoodI'm sending them up." The guard pointed toward the elevators in the lobby. "Tenth floor, second door on the right."

He watched until the elevator doors closed on the twins, then sighed. "This town gets nuttier every day. Damn Elves."

Stepping off the elevator, Elladan and Elrohir opened the second door on the right, and walked into the waiting room of Legolas' office. The office was tastefully decorated in cool greens - Legolas had always been partial to green. A surly looking secretary was staring at them from her desk, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Didn't the guard downstairs tell you two that Mr. Greenleaf never sees anyone without an appointment?"

"Yes, but he'll see us," Elrohir replied, smiling at the girl.

Looking at that endearing grin on that handsome face, his brother's face a mirror image - smile and all, the girl couldn't help smiling a little in return.

"Look, I'd get you in if I could, but I have strict ordersit would mean my job!" she said, spreading her hands out in front of her.

"Is he in there?" Elladan asked, nodding toward a door to the immediate right of the secretary's desk.

"Yes, but he's on a conference callI can't disturb him."

"You can't, but we can!" Elrohir smiled, stepping toward the door.

"NO! Please - you'll get me fired!"

"Surely Legolas isn't that much of a jackass," Elrohir laughed, putting his hand on the doorknob. His comment elicited a gasp from the secretary.

"Mr. Greenleaf is a very good employer! You just don't understand how many people we get in here every day trying to get in to see him"

"Don't worry, sugarwe won't let him fire you," Elladan said, turning on the charm.

Before she could say another word, the twins opened the door and stepped into Legolas' office. The secretary ran in behind them, frantically pulling on their arms, trying to get them out of the room. Of course, she couldn't budge them an inch.

Legolas looked up from his seat at his desk. His feet were propped up on it, as he spoke into the hands free headset he was wearing. "Peter, I've got to goI'll call you back," he said, taking the headset off and standing up.

The three elves stared at each other, as Legolas walked slowly around his desk. Breaking out into three huge grins, the three started laughing.

"Suzy, it's okay" Legolas said, noticing that his secretary still had a grip on Elrohir right arm and was pulling backward with all her might.

"They just wouldn't listen, Mr. GreenleafI told them that they couldn't just barge in like this!" Suzy apologized, still yanking on Elrohir's arm.

"It's okaythey're friends of mine," Legolas said. Turning to the twins, he admonished, "Really, guysyou could have called and saved Suzy a few gray hairs. When did you get in?"

"Just nowour luggage is downstairs," Elladan laughed. Turning to Suzy, he apologized for their behavior. Looking up into his dark eyes, the secretary became quite flustered, and just backed out of the room without another word.

"Where are you staying?" Legolas asked, looking from one twin to the other.

'Don't know yetthis trip was spur of the moment," Elrohir laughed.

"Good! You can stay at my place. Let me wrap up a few things here, and we'll go," Legolas said, gesturing them to have a seat.

He made a few phone calls, then stood. "I'm glad you decided to come out early. I've got a party to attend tonight - you're going to be a big hit!"

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other, grinning. The two of them and Legolas at a party? It was going to be just like old times.