ADVANCE SNORES: RETARD RISING
Mike: Last time on Advance Sno--
Lawyer: HOLD IT! This production is on hold pending a court session on the blatant copyright infringement on Brian Kendall's The Demented Cartoon Movie
Andy: *muttering* I know I can find all those words in my dictionary.
Tom: Aww, crap!
Lawyer: No Awws, this is a court order and now it's time to appear in court!
Mike: No it's not! *takes out paper and pencil*
Lawyer: What's that?
Tom: Our story
Lawyer: Well you can just put that away because *looks down and sees that he's slowly disappearing* HEY!
Mike: Still want that court action?
Lawyer: YES NOW STOP ERASING ME FROM YOU STORY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON HOLD UNTIL THE COURT HEARING!!!
Tom: Too bad. *Lawyer disappears entirely*
Mike: Now on with the story!
Andy: I found out what all those words mean!
Tom: Bye bye! *Andy disappears too*
Mike: NOW on with the story! Last time Hawke and Flak blew up Mexico Land and Columbia Land in that theme park, the Orange Star COs met me and El Stinkcheese over there.
Tom: Shut up!
Mike: Okay, Blue Moon got destroyed by Yellow Comet, Sonja and Sensei had to sit in the time-out tank and nothing happened in Green Earth!
Max: *in a ghostly voice* Didn't we get nuked?
Tom: No because if you did then this story would be screwed up from here until it's over
Max *in normal voice* Oh, okay *walks out of nowhere followed by the Green Earth COs*
At Orange Star HQ, Tom and Mike discuss their plans
Andy: so you guys are COs
Mike: actually no
Andy: really? *eyes widen*
Tom: No! *laughs at Andy and his now very pitiful self-esteem from Tom and Mike's constant abuse*
Andy slumps away sobbily
Nell: so what faction are you guys from or planning to form
Tom: I dunno maybe we shou-
Andy: SHOULD BE PURPLE FUNGUS!!!!!!!!!
Tom & Mike: NO!
Mike: but it might be good for comedy
Tom: true true
Nell: But you can't do that! Your faction has to be space-like! Like Comets and Earths and Stars and Moons and-
Tom: No it doesn't
Nell: Yes sir
Mike: besides we would never use that as a name anyways
Tom: It's so stupid! Not to mention it came from Andy
Andy: *teary eyes* YOUR SOOOOOOO MEAN *runs off*
Tom: It would be cool like Red something
Mike: For you maybe..me it would be.. I dunno..
Tom: Mike, I think we should get going. . .
Mike: yeah . . .
Sami: where are you guys going?
Mike: we have another visit to make
Tom: Yeah. . .
Tom & Mike: BYE!!! *teleport away*
Sami: Too late Andy, their gone
Andy: *holding raised cheese block, as if he is about to strike* Awww I wanted to get them back!
*distant voices*: WE HEARD THAT!!!
Andy grows a pig nose
Andy: Aww
Now we go to Blue moon where Grit, Olaf and Colin stand in the destroyed town square.
Olaf: Man they smashed us up good!
Grit: Yeah, but I guess we can still be productive about it!
Colin: *Straightens up* How?
Grit: By selling TACOS!
Olaf: WILL YOU SHUT UP!
Grit: hey, hey, cool it old man
Olaf: WHO ARE YOU CALL-
A LOUD *SMACK* is heard, and Grit and Olaf turn around to see what has happened
Grit: Holy crap! Colin was hit by a car!
Olaf: AHAHA...oh wait! OH NO
Grit rushes over to Colin
Colin: Oh..my. . .ribs...
Tom: *appears* Cause I am the writer and I hate you! *disappears*
Colin: oh...
Grit rushes Colin to the hospital
Doctor: I think he'll be okay..
Grit: Good
Olaf walks into hospital room
Olaf: AHAHAHAHA! You were hit by a caaaaaar! You were hit by a caaaaaaaaaaaar! HAHA
Grit punches olaf in the gut
Olaf: Oaf! Internal...bleeding *is rushed of to a different hospital
Grit: Why did they take him to a different hospital?
Doctor: Because the hospital only has one room. The rest was destroyed by Yellow Comet.
Grit: Ah.
Now lets go over to Green Earth were we found out that Max and the Green Earth COs weren't killed by playing an invigorating game of "Toss the H- bomb"-
Lawyer: VIOLATION! Time to go to court!
Mike: How did you get out?!
Lawyer: He got me out *points at andy*
Andy: erm.. Hehe
Tom: Well we can fix that! *pulls out the story* *The lawyer and Andy both disappear*
Mike: There! Let's now see green earth
Max: That was mildly amusing.
Eagle: Being dead isn't all that fun, it gets boring after a while
Jess: What should we do now?
Drake: TWIST--
Everyone else: NO!
Drake: Damn
Max: What should we do?
Eagle: I dunno..
Max: I know! Let's go fly a kite!
Eagle: Okay!
Jess and Drake: NO!
Eagle: Why?
Jess and Drake: Because our air units suck!
Max: So? We can go swimming afterwards
Drake: Okay!
Jess and Eagle: NOOOO!!!!
Drake: Why?
Jess and Eagle: Because our naval units suck!
Drake: So what should we do?
Max: How about we go to Orange Star and find something to do?
Jess, Eagle and Drake: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Max: what now?
Jess: Oh that was for fun. . .
Eagle: Since we like whining
Mike: I am bored
Jess: //(O_o)\\ How did you get here?
Mike: I'm a writer
Jess: Oh.
Max: And you're lazy!
Mike: *takes out pencil and paper* Want to reconsider that?
Max: NO!
Mike: Okay, you asked for it. . .
Max grows long hair, forms a more feminine body, has lipstick on and is wearing a dress
Jess: you go girl!
Max: Hey! Change me back!
Mike: what do you say?
Max: Please change me back?
Mike: NO YOU IDIOT! YOU SAY YOU ARE SORRY AND SAY I AM SUPERIOR AND THEN ASK TO BE CHANGED BACK!
Max: I am sorry, you are better then me and could you please change me back?
Mike: No! HAHA *disappears*
Max: Aww man! We might as well just head over to Orange Star.
Now at Black Hole, Sturm just completed his special device. . .
Sturm: BWAHAHAHAHA! Lash has just completed the device needed to blow up the entire world so now I can threaten them to give me the world for $99.99!
Flak & Hawke: *slowly getting louder* WHEEEEEE! *crash into device*
Sturm: NOOOOO!!!!!! NOW I CAN'T RULE THE WORLD FOR ONLY $99.99!!!!
Lash: Oh well, that was a bit stupid anyway. Why wouldn't you just rule the world for free if that thing worked?
Sturm: DON'T QUESTION MY GENIUS!!! THAT'S 15 MINITES IN THAT TIME-OUT TANK THAT KANBEI GAVE TO ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
Lash: You have a birthday?
Sturm: OF COURSE I DO!! THAT'S 30 MINUTES NOW!
Lash: Aww, man! *climbs in time out tank*
Sonja: You know, it's getting pretty cramped in here!
Sensei: Well we can't get out yet, we still have some time left.
Mike & Tom: O_o o_O
Sonja: How did you get in here and not make this any more cramped, it defies all laws of logic and physics!
Tom: Were the writers, watch our magic powers! *concentrates*
Everyone but Tom and Mike: WOW!
Everyone is on a beach on a tropical island with bathing suits on and with water skis and a bunch of other expensive stuff
Tom: See? *concentrates*
Everyone but Tom and Mike: Aww.
Everyone is back in the time-out tank
Mike: Well, we have chaos to cause, see ya 'Fro Girl, Mr. Funky CO Music, Other One
Sonja: How come I don't get a cool nickname?
Tom: *climbing out* we haven't thought of one yet!
Sonja: How 'bout-- *SLAM the hatch slams shut*
Sonja: I don't like that name.
Tom: *head pops in* THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT WAS SAID! IT WAS AN ACTION! *Slams hatch*
Now, finally we go to Yellow Comet where Kanbei is returning from Sturm's birthday party.
Kanbei: *looking in goodie bag* OOOOOoooooo! A chocolatily bar!
YC Soldier: Um, chocolatily is not an actual word.
Kanbei: QUIET! 15 MINUTES IN THE TIMEOUT TANK! Hey wait a minute. . .where is the timeout tank?
YC Soldier: You gave it to Sturm for a birthday present.
Kanbei: Oh yeah. . . I hope he likes his present. Anyways I will not punish you for now. Where is Sonja and Sensei?
YC Soldier: They were still in the tank while you gave it to Sturm.
Kanbei: Sturm secretly kidnapped Sensei and Sonja?!?! That's atrocious! Quick! Ready the army!
YC Soldier: Yes, Sir!
Yellow Comet army goes to Black Hole and annihilates them. Kanbei return with Sonja and Sensei.
Sensei: You know you didn't have to completely destroy Black Hole to get us back. You could've asked Sturm.
Sonja: And besides he's actually not that bad anyways.
Kanbei: I don't care. The entertainment value was still very high.
Sensei: O.o
Sonja: You didn't know my father was a violence obsessive mental nut-case?! Tsk tsk.
Kanbei: Well anyways, know that we have gotten to the end, the authors have finally thought up a name for the chapter
Sensei: But there isn't a name for chapter 1!
Kanbei: That's an exception.
Tom: It is.
Mike: and yes we have thought of a name for this chapter Sonja: what is it?
Tom: Drum roll, please.
Drum roll starts
Tom: The name
Mike: Of the chapter
Tom: Shall be.
(the Screen shuts off)
Mike: It could be a story on paper,
Tom: or an opera. anyways. . .
Sensei: Wow! What a great name!
Kanbei: It sure is
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Now to a white backround with only Tom and Mike
Tom: Well I guess since the readers/viewers/opera fans don't know the real name I guess they'll have to refer to it as the Unknown chapter.
Mike: I guess so. Well I guess I have to do the ending questions.
Tom: NO! EVIL!
Mike: Will andy ever get us back for our abuse? Will Colin ever be liked by Tom? Will Max ever become a guy again? Will Sturm ever be able to take over the world for only 99.99$? Will that lawyer ever stop bothering us? And WHAT is with that timeout tank? You'll just have to wait until the next chapter of Advance Snores: RETARD RISING!
Tom: YOU'RE GONNA DIE *raises knife*
-Chapter 3- is finished. Go home now, oh wait, you probably already are. Oh well.
Mike: Last time on Advance Sno--
Lawyer: HOLD IT! This production is on hold pending a court session on the blatant copyright infringement on Brian Kendall's The Demented Cartoon Movie
Andy: *muttering* I know I can find all those words in my dictionary.
Tom: Aww, crap!
Lawyer: No Awws, this is a court order and now it's time to appear in court!
Mike: No it's not! *takes out paper and pencil*
Lawyer: What's that?
Tom: Our story
Lawyer: Well you can just put that away because *looks down and sees that he's slowly disappearing* HEY!
Mike: Still want that court action?
Lawyer: YES NOW STOP ERASING ME FROM YOU STORY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON HOLD UNTIL THE COURT HEARING!!!
Tom: Too bad. *Lawyer disappears entirely*
Mike: Now on with the story!
Andy: I found out what all those words mean!
Tom: Bye bye! *Andy disappears too*
Mike: NOW on with the story! Last time Hawke and Flak blew up Mexico Land and Columbia Land in that theme park, the Orange Star COs met me and El Stinkcheese over there.
Tom: Shut up!
Mike: Okay, Blue Moon got destroyed by Yellow Comet, Sonja and Sensei had to sit in the time-out tank and nothing happened in Green Earth!
Max: *in a ghostly voice* Didn't we get nuked?
Tom: No because if you did then this story would be screwed up from here until it's over
Max *in normal voice* Oh, okay *walks out of nowhere followed by the Green Earth COs*
At Orange Star HQ, Tom and Mike discuss their plans
Andy: so you guys are COs
Mike: actually no
Andy: really? *eyes widen*
Tom: No! *laughs at Andy and his now very pitiful self-esteem from Tom and Mike's constant abuse*
Andy slumps away sobbily
Nell: so what faction are you guys from or planning to form
Tom: I dunno maybe we shou-
Andy: SHOULD BE PURPLE FUNGUS!!!!!!!!!
Tom & Mike: NO!
Mike: but it might be good for comedy
Tom: true true
Nell: But you can't do that! Your faction has to be space-like! Like Comets and Earths and Stars and Moons and-
Tom: No it doesn't
Nell: Yes sir
Mike: besides we would never use that as a name anyways
Tom: It's so stupid! Not to mention it came from Andy
Andy: *teary eyes* YOUR SOOOOOOO MEAN *runs off*
Tom: It would be cool like Red something
Mike: For you maybe..me it would be.. I dunno..
Tom: Mike, I think we should get going. . .
Mike: yeah . . .
Sami: where are you guys going?
Mike: we have another visit to make
Tom: Yeah. . .
Tom & Mike: BYE!!! *teleport away*
Sami: Too late Andy, their gone
Andy: *holding raised cheese block, as if he is about to strike* Awww I wanted to get them back!
*distant voices*: WE HEARD THAT!!!
Andy grows a pig nose
Andy: Aww
Now we go to Blue moon where Grit, Olaf and Colin stand in the destroyed town square.
Olaf: Man they smashed us up good!
Grit: Yeah, but I guess we can still be productive about it!
Colin: *Straightens up* How?
Grit: By selling TACOS!
Olaf: WILL YOU SHUT UP!
Grit: hey, hey, cool it old man
Olaf: WHO ARE YOU CALL-
A LOUD *SMACK* is heard, and Grit and Olaf turn around to see what has happened
Grit: Holy crap! Colin was hit by a car!
Olaf: AHAHA...oh wait! OH NO
Grit rushes over to Colin
Colin: Oh..my. . .ribs...
Tom: *appears* Cause I am the writer and I hate you! *disappears*
Colin: oh...
Grit rushes Colin to the hospital
Doctor: I think he'll be okay..
Grit: Good
Olaf walks into hospital room
Olaf: AHAHAHAHA! You were hit by a caaaaaar! You were hit by a caaaaaaaaaaaar! HAHA
Grit punches olaf in the gut
Olaf: Oaf! Internal...bleeding *is rushed of to a different hospital
Grit: Why did they take him to a different hospital?
Doctor: Because the hospital only has one room. The rest was destroyed by Yellow Comet.
Grit: Ah.
Now lets go over to Green Earth were we found out that Max and the Green Earth COs weren't killed by playing an invigorating game of "Toss the H- bomb"-
Lawyer: VIOLATION! Time to go to court!
Mike: How did you get out?!
Lawyer: He got me out *points at andy*
Andy: erm.. Hehe
Tom: Well we can fix that! *pulls out the story* *The lawyer and Andy both disappear*
Mike: There! Let's now see green earth
Max: That was mildly amusing.
Eagle: Being dead isn't all that fun, it gets boring after a while
Jess: What should we do now?
Drake: TWIST--
Everyone else: NO!
Drake: Damn
Max: What should we do?
Eagle: I dunno..
Max: I know! Let's go fly a kite!
Eagle: Okay!
Jess and Drake: NO!
Eagle: Why?
Jess and Drake: Because our air units suck!
Max: So? We can go swimming afterwards
Drake: Okay!
Jess and Eagle: NOOOO!!!!
Drake: Why?
Jess and Eagle: Because our naval units suck!
Drake: So what should we do?
Max: How about we go to Orange Star and find something to do?
Jess, Eagle and Drake: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Max: what now?
Jess: Oh that was for fun. . .
Eagle: Since we like whining
Mike: I am bored
Jess: //(O_o)\\ How did you get here?
Mike: I'm a writer
Jess: Oh.
Max: And you're lazy!
Mike: *takes out pencil and paper* Want to reconsider that?
Max: NO!
Mike: Okay, you asked for it. . .
Max grows long hair, forms a more feminine body, has lipstick on and is wearing a dress
Jess: you go girl!
Max: Hey! Change me back!
Mike: what do you say?
Max: Please change me back?
Mike: NO YOU IDIOT! YOU SAY YOU ARE SORRY AND SAY I AM SUPERIOR AND THEN ASK TO BE CHANGED BACK!
Max: I am sorry, you are better then me and could you please change me back?
Mike: No! HAHA *disappears*
Max: Aww man! We might as well just head over to Orange Star.
Now at Black Hole, Sturm just completed his special device. . .
Sturm: BWAHAHAHAHA! Lash has just completed the device needed to blow up the entire world so now I can threaten them to give me the world for $99.99!
Flak & Hawke: *slowly getting louder* WHEEEEEE! *crash into device*
Sturm: NOOOOO!!!!!! NOW I CAN'T RULE THE WORLD FOR ONLY $99.99!!!!
Lash: Oh well, that was a bit stupid anyway. Why wouldn't you just rule the world for free if that thing worked?
Sturm: DON'T QUESTION MY GENIUS!!! THAT'S 15 MINITES IN THAT TIME-OUT TANK THAT KANBEI GAVE TO ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
Lash: You have a birthday?
Sturm: OF COURSE I DO!! THAT'S 30 MINUTES NOW!
Lash: Aww, man! *climbs in time out tank*
Sonja: You know, it's getting pretty cramped in here!
Sensei: Well we can't get out yet, we still have some time left.
Mike & Tom: O_o o_O
Sonja: How did you get in here and not make this any more cramped, it defies all laws of logic and physics!
Tom: Were the writers, watch our magic powers! *concentrates*
Everyone but Tom and Mike: WOW!
Everyone is on a beach on a tropical island with bathing suits on and with water skis and a bunch of other expensive stuff
Tom: See? *concentrates*
Everyone but Tom and Mike: Aww.
Everyone is back in the time-out tank
Mike: Well, we have chaos to cause, see ya 'Fro Girl, Mr. Funky CO Music, Other One
Sonja: How come I don't get a cool nickname?
Tom: *climbing out* we haven't thought of one yet!
Sonja: How 'bout-- *SLAM the hatch slams shut*
Sonja: I don't like that name.
Tom: *head pops in* THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT WAS SAID! IT WAS AN ACTION! *Slams hatch*
Now, finally we go to Yellow Comet where Kanbei is returning from Sturm's birthday party.
Kanbei: *looking in goodie bag* OOOOOoooooo! A chocolatily bar!
YC Soldier: Um, chocolatily is not an actual word.
Kanbei: QUIET! 15 MINUTES IN THE TIMEOUT TANK! Hey wait a minute. . .where is the timeout tank?
YC Soldier: You gave it to Sturm for a birthday present.
Kanbei: Oh yeah. . . I hope he likes his present. Anyways I will not punish you for now. Where is Sonja and Sensei?
YC Soldier: They were still in the tank while you gave it to Sturm.
Kanbei: Sturm secretly kidnapped Sensei and Sonja?!?! That's atrocious! Quick! Ready the army!
YC Soldier: Yes, Sir!
Yellow Comet army goes to Black Hole and annihilates them. Kanbei return with Sonja and Sensei.
Sensei: You know you didn't have to completely destroy Black Hole to get us back. You could've asked Sturm.
Sonja: And besides he's actually not that bad anyways.
Kanbei: I don't care. The entertainment value was still very high.
Sensei: O.o
Sonja: You didn't know my father was a violence obsessive mental nut-case?! Tsk tsk.
Kanbei: Well anyways, know that we have gotten to the end, the authors have finally thought up a name for the chapter
Sensei: But there isn't a name for chapter 1!
Kanbei: That's an exception.
Tom: It is.
Mike: and yes we have thought of a name for this chapter Sonja: what is it?
Tom: Drum roll, please.
Drum roll starts
Tom: The name
Mike: Of the chapter
Tom: Shall be.
(the Screen shuts off)
Mike: It could be a story on paper,
Tom: or an opera. anyways. . .
Sensei: Wow! What a great name!
Kanbei: It sure is
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Now to a white backround with only Tom and Mike
Tom: Well I guess since the readers/viewers/opera fans don't know the real name I guess they'll have to refer to it as the Unknown chapter.
Mike: I guess so. Well I guess I have to do the ending questions.
Tom: NO! EVIL!
Mike: Will andy ever get us back for our abuse? Will Colin ever be liked by Tom? Will Max ever become a guy again? Will Sturm ever be able to take over the world for only 99.99$? Will that lawyer ever stop bothering us? And WHAT is with that timeout tank? You'll just have to wait until the next chapter of Advance Snores: RETARD RISING!
Tom: YOU'RE GONNA DIE *raises knife*
-Chapter 3- is finished. Go home now, oh wait, you probably already are. Oh well.