Dreams of power
Chapter 9:
Over the next couple of days, Kaiba had been scheduling interviews and appointments for Marik and Malik. They had visited many cities and were doing pretty well in the polls. Bush had dropped out of the race and John Kerry was in the lead. But Marik wasn't far behind, reason being that all the girls thought he and Malik were so totally hot.
Soon, Kaiba had arranged for Marik and Malik to appear on the Bill O'Reilly show, (A/N: Yes, that is a real show, it's on the Fox news network) which was a really big deal because not everyone gets on there. And unlike Jack and Lizzie, the two that interviewed them first, Bill is not an easy customer. He'll grill you to no end. Marik and Malik were told all of this but they still thought it would be just as easy as the first interview.
When they arrived back in New York, they took the limo to the T.V station. It was nighttime then, and all of the studio's flashing neon lights were on. They could be seen from down the street, which got Marik all excited. I mean really, who doesn't like a good light show? They were inside and into the green room in a matter of minutes. They had a little less than a half an hour until it was time for them to go on, so Kaiba thought this would be a great time for a pep talk.
"Alright you two. You had better not screw this up! This is one of the toughest people you've ever had to deal with."
"Does that include you?" Marik grinned.
Kaiba ignored him, "He won't go easy on you and you had better either know how to answer his questions or know how to dodge them."
"..."
"..."
He noticed they weren't speaking, "I'm serious, if this doesn't go well it could ruin your chances of being elected."
"Will everyone be watching?" Malik asked.
"Yes, Malik. Almost all of America will be watching. And these viewers will be serious adults. Not those silly twenty year old girls that have fallen in love with your tan."
They smiled, obviously proud of their Egyptian tan.
"You have to be professional, smart, and above all..." he looked at them, "try not to screw it up!"
"We'll do our best!" they replied in unison.
Kaiba got down on his knees, 'Please, just let that be enough.'
The stage manager walked back into the room, "Marik and Malik Ishtar, you're on in five."
"Uh, okay." Marik and Malik followed him to the set. They sat down in the two seats they were shown. The seat behind the desk was meant for Bill O'Reilly.
Two minutes passed before the slightly balding man himself showed up, Mr. Bill O'Reilly. "Alright, let's get this show on the road."
"Uh... Hello." Malik was brave enough to say.
O'Reilly looked at him, "You're the little one, right? Malik?"
"Little?!"
Marik snickered. "Yup, that's him. I'm Marik."
"Hmm. Well, glad to meet you both."
A man from behind a camera held up his hand, "And we're live in 3...2...1."
"Hello and welcome to the Bill O'Reilly Factor, where everything is fair and balanced. As you know America is currently in the middle of a rat race we like to call a presidential election. A few days ago former president George Bush dropped out of the race and left the country. He is currently in Mexico City, under the name Juan Lopez. Anyway, tonight I have the two young men that managed to run him out of the country. Marik and Malik Ishtar. Welcome to the show, glad you could join us."
"Thanks." They said in unison.
"Now, you two look unbelievably young to be over 35. I almost couldn't believe it when I saw you."
"Well," Malik smiled, "Botox and vegetables everyday take most of the credit."
Marik rolled his eyes.
"Okay. Well, I did watch your commercial about Bush. How did you happen to come across that footage?"
"Uh..." Malik looked at Marik.
"Well, we saw some strange activity in their room. You see, we were staying in the same hotel."
"I see. And you coincidentally had your camera out."
"We were videotaping something else at the time. An event that was happening at the hotel."
"But the footage was taken from the window . The only way you could have done what you said is if the event was happening in midair by Mr. Bush's window, on the outside of the building. Isn't that correct?"
"Yeah, actually. Malik was suspended from the roof of the building. See, the event was happening on the street and we wanted to get a birds eye view. That's when he noticed something in the room next to him and shifted the camera so he could see it in focus. Isn't that right, Malik?"
"Uh... yeah."
Bill raised an eyebrow, "Moving on, I did see your first interview with Jack and Lizzie. They addressed a very good question, and I'd like to follow up on that... You think that we can solve world hunger by making all the fat people go on a diet. Correct?"
"Yup." Marik and Malik nodded.
"What, exactly, is your definition for 'fat'?"
"Uh...fat... meaning really big, and not skinny. Which is to say, not pretty-"
"Wait a minute, Marik." Malik interrupted, "I've seen some fat people that are pretty."
"Where?"
"On T.V. And at the mall... remember that one lady with the blue wig?"
"Malik, she wasn't fat. She was thick."
"What's the difference?"
"There's a thin line between fat and skinny. And somewhere on that thin line lays 'thick'. You see? Thick. Like a thick milkshake."
"I still don't get it."
"Look, it simply means-"
"Gentlemen!" O'Reilly stopped them, "Can we get back on track, please?"
Malik scratched his head. "Sure. Uh... where were we again?"
"Okay, you think fat people should go on a diet. Well, what weight should be considered fat? Lot's of terribly skinny people think that they're fat. But that doesn't mean they are. Where do we draw the line?"
"About 125 pounds for girls. For guys... um..." he looked at Marik, "What do you think?"
"Well, let's use us as an example. I weigh about 136... muscle included."
"I weigh 130. So somewhere in the middle... 133?"
"That's good, Malik." He turned back to O'Reilly. "133 for guys. That should leave everyone fit as a fiddle."
"Or at least a violin." Malik added.
O'Reilly starred at them both, "You two are some piece of work, you know that?"
"It's a gift."
"I'm sure it is. Anyway, let's move on, shall we? Now, you do understand the responsibility that comes along with becoming president don't you Marik? There's handling the country night and day... and if something goes wrong you're the first one America will turn to."
"Aw, nothings gonna happen with me in charge. And even if it did, I'd be prepared."
"How so?"
"I handle catastrophes everyday. I remember when we had to get from Hawaii to Mexico, so me and Malik took a plane-"
Malik covered his yami's mouth and whispered, "May I remind you that this is exactly what he wants you to do! He wants you to break down and tell the truth. We can't do that!"
"Oh, yeah." Marik sat back up and smiled.
"Something wrong?" Bill knew exactly what was going on, "You both seem a little uptight."
Marik and Malik shook their heads back and forth.
"Well I wouldn't be surprised if you could handle being in charge of the country, Marik. After all, you are a judge."
"I... I am? Oh yes! I am, yes, I am a judge." He remembered what he had done on when they first started.
"Tell me, what's the weirdest case you've ever handled?"
"Uh... Well, there was that one with the guy that chopped this other guy's arm off. Over a..."
"Over a?"
"S-Sandwich. He did it over a sandwich."
"What?!"
"It was a lot like the Donner Party. It was the last sandwich in the whole party, and it was supposed to be his. But another guy ate it when he went to the bathroom... so he chopped his arm off."
"Sounds... strange."
"It was."
"How did you rule?"
Marik didn't know what Bill meant by that. He looked at Malik for help.
Malik thought back to an episode of the Golden Girls he'd seen about a month ago, "He ruled in favor of the Defendant."
Bill looked at him, "You know this because?"
"I'm a lawyer and I was representing him."
Kaiba was watching from the green room, 'Malik you are a savior!'
Marik looked at his hikari with a funny eye, "How'd you know that?" he whispered.
"Golden Girls comes in handy sometimes."
Bill sighed, "I'm just wondering over here, but where'd you two get the money for a campaign? No offense, but you don't seem...rich."
"Oh, we're not rich." Malik said, "Our friend pays for everything."
"That must be some friend, to cover for you on such an expensive venture. Tell me, why do you want to be president so badly Marik?"
"I think America would be a better place with me in office."
"I saw that commercial that John Kerry put out last week, about you two. Those were some pictures... Malik, did a naked old lady really chase you down the street?"
"Uh... yes."
"Why?"
"Long story..."
"Commercial's aren't for another ten minutes, and I'm sure everyone would love to hear this."
"Well," he looked at Marik, "See, this old lady Mrs. Peggy. She was really mean to us. And so we decided to playfully put a curse on her... But we didn't know it would cause her to go sex crazy and terrorize the city."
Marik pumped his fist in the air, "It would have been so cool!!! If... she hadn't gone after us next. But we did find the reverse spell and changed her back to normal. Needless to say, she'll never speak to us again... but we all must make sacrifices."
"..." Bill shortly came out of his daze, "Uh... Anyway. Marik, did you really shoot someone with an arrow?"
"It was only Yami. And besides, it wasn't a real arrow... it was part of the Opposite Sex Machine, me and Malik ordered."
Malik looked at him, "What do you mean we? I did no such thing, I told you not to order things from that website!"
"Where else do ya get a Opposite Sex Machine? E-bay?!"
"Well, you could have-"
"Gentlemen!" Bill had to interrupt again, "Do you two always argue like this?"
"Yeah, sort of. It gives us something to do when we're bored." Marik sighed.
"But he always starts it."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not!"
"Do too!!"
Bill sighed, "Well, that's about all the time we have for tonight. Thank you Marik and Malik for joining us, and don't forget you can send me an email and get your Factor Gear at And remember, the spin stops here."
Chapter 9:
Over the next couple of days, Kaiba had been scheduling interviews and appointments for Marik and Malik. They had visited many cities and were doing pretty well in the polls. Bush had dropped out of the race and John Kerry was in the lead. But Marik wasn't far behind, reason being that all the girls thought he and Malik were so totally hot.
Soon, Kaiba had arranged for Marik and Malik to appear on the Bill O'Reilly show, (A/N: Yes, that is a real show, it's on the Fox news network) which was a really big deal because not everyone gets on there. And unlike Jack and Lizzie, the two that interviewed them first, Bill is not an easy customer. He'll grill you to no end. Marik and Malik were told all of this but they still thought it would be just as easy as the first interview.
When they arrived back in New York, they took the limo to the T.V station. It was nighttime then, and all of the studio's flashing neon lights were on. They could be seen from down the street, which got Marik all excited. I mean really, who doesn't like a good light show? They were inside and into the green room in a matter of minutes. They had a little less than a half an hour until it was time for them to go on, so Kaiba thought this would be a great time for a pep talk.
"Alright you two. You had better not screw this up! This is one of the toughest people you've ever had to deal with."
"Does that include you?" Marik grinned.
Kaiba ignored him, "He won't go easy on you and you had better either know how to answer his questions or know how to dodge them."
"..."
"..."
He noticed they weren't speaking, "I'm serious, if this doesn't go well it could ruin your chances of being elected."
"Will everyone be watching?" Malik asked.
"Yes, Malik. Almost all of America will be watching. And these viewers will be serious adults. Not those silly twenty year old girls that have fallen in love with your tan."
They smiled, obviously proud of their Egyptian tan.
"You have to be professional, smart, and above all..." he looked at them, "try not to screw it up!"
"We'll do our best!" they replied in unison.
Kaiba got down on his knees, 'Please, just let that be enough.'
The stage manager walked back into the room, "Marik and Malik Ishtar, you're on in five."
"Uh, okay." Marik and Malik followed him to the set. They sat down in the two seats they were shown. The seat behind the desk was meant for Bill O'Reilly.
Two minutes passed before the slightly balding man himself showed up, Mr. Bill O'Reilly. "Alright, let's get this show on the road."
"Uh... Hello." Malik was brave enough to say.
O'Reilly looked at him, "You're the little one, right? Malik?"
"Little?!"
Marik snickered. "Yup, that's him. I'm Marik."
"Hmm. Well, glad to meet you both."
A man from behind a camera held up his hand, "And we're live in 3...2...1."
"Hello and welcome to the Bill O'Reilly Factor, where everything is fair and balanced. As you know America is currently in the middle of a rat race we like to call a presidential election. A few days ago former president George Bush dropped out of the race and left the country. He is currently in Mexico City, under the name Juan Lopez. Anyway, tonight I have the two young men that managed to run him out of the country. Marik and Malik Ishtar. Welcome to the show, glad you could join us."
"Thanks." They said in unison.
"Now, you two look unbelievably young to be over 35. I almost couldn't believe it when I saw you."
"Well," Malik smiled, "Botox and vegetables everyday take most of the credit."
Marik rolled his eyes.
"Okay. Well, I did watch your commercial about Bush. How did you happen to come across that footage?"
"Uh..." Malik looked at Marik.
"Well, we saw some strange activity in their room. You see, we were staying in the same hotel."
"I see. And you coincidentally had your camera out."
"We were videotaping something else at the time. An event that was happening at the hotel."
"But the footage was taken from the window . The only way you could have done what you said is if the event was happening in midair by Mr. Bush's window, on the outside of the building. Isn't that correct?"
"Yeah, actually. Malik was suspended from the roof of the building. See, the event was happening on the street and we wanted to get a birds eye view. That's when he noticed something in the room next to him and shifted the camera so he could see it in focus. Isn't that right, Malik?"
"Uh... yeah."
Bill raised an eyebrow, "Moving on, I did see your first interview with Jack and Lizzie. They addressed a very good question, and I'd like to follow up on that... You think that we can solve world hunger by making all the fat people go on a diet. Correct?"
"Yup." Marik and Malik nodded.
"What, exactly, is your definition for 'fat'?"
"Uh...fat... meaning really big, and not skinny. Which is to say, not pretty-"
"Wait a minute, Marik." Malik interrupted, "I've seen some fat people that are pretty."
"Where?"
"On T.V. And at the mall... remember that one lady with the blue wig?"
"Malik, she wasn't fat. She was thick."
"What's the difference?"
"There's a thin line between fat and skinny. And somewhere on that thin line lays 'thick'. You see? Thick. Like a thick milkshake."
"I still don't get it."
"Look, it simply means-"
"Gentlemen!" O'Reilly stopped them, "Can we get back on track, please?"
Malik scratched his head. "Sure. Uh... where were we again?"
"Okay, you think fat people should go on a diet. Well, what weight should be considered fat? Lot's of terribly skinny people think that they're fat. But that doesn't mean they are. Where do we draw the line?"
"About 125 pounds for girls. For guys... um..." he looked at Marik, "What do you think?"
"Well, let's use us as an example. I weigh about 136... muscle included."
"I weigh 130. So somewhere in the middle... 133?"
"That's good, Malik." He turned back to O'Reilly. "133 for guys. That should leave everyone fit as a fiddle."
"Or at least a violin." Malik added.
O'Reilly starred at them both, "You two are some piece of work, you know that?"
"It's a gift."
"I'm sure it is. Anyway, let's move on, shall we? Now, you do understand the responsibility that comes along with becoming president don't you Marik? There's handling the country night and day... and if something goes wrong you're the first one America will turn to."
"Aw, nothings gonna happen with me in charge. And even if it did, I'd be prepared."
"How so?"
"I handle catastrophes everyday. I remember when we had to get from Hawaii to Mexico, so me and Malik took a plane-"
Malik covered his yami's mouth and whispered, "May I remind you that this is exactly what he wants you to do! He wants you to break down and tell the truth. We can't do that!"
"Oh, yeah." Marik sat back up and smiled.
"Something wrong?" Bill knew exactly what was going on, "You both seem a little uptight."
Marik and Malik shook their heads back and forth.
"Well I wouldn't be surprised if you could handle being in charge of the country, Marik. After all, you are a judge."
"I... I am? Oh yes! I am, yes, I am a judge." He remembered what he had done on when they first started.
"Tell me, what's the weirdest case you've ever handled?"
"Uh... Well, there was that one with the guy that chopped this other guy's arm off. Over a..."
"Over a?"
"S-Sandwich. He did it over a sandwich."
"What?!"
"It was a lot like the Donner Party. It was the last sandwich in the whole party, and it was supposed to be his. But another guy ate it when he went to the bathroom... so he chopped his arm off."
"Sounds... strange."
"It was."
"How did you rule?"
Marik didn't know what Bill meant by that. He looked at Malik for help.
Malik thought back to an episode of the Golden Girls he'd seen about a month ago, "He ruled in favor of the Defendant."
Bill looked at him, "You know this because?"
"I'm a lawyer and I was representing him."
Kaiba was watching from the green room, 'Malik you are a savior!'
Marik looked at his hikari with a funny eye, "How'd you know that?" he whispered.
"Golden Girls comes in handy sometimes."
Bill sighed, "I'm just wondering over here, but where'd you two get the money for a campaign? No offense, but you don't seem...rich."
"Oh, we're not rich." Malik said, "Our friend pays for everything."
"That must be some friend, to cover for you on such an expensive venture. Tell me, why do you want to be president so badly Marik?"
"I think America would be a better place with me in office."
"I saw that commercial that John Kerry put out last week, about you two. Those were some pictures... Malik, did a naked old lady really chase you down the street?"
"Uh... yes."
"Why?"
"Long story..."
"Commercial's aren't for another ten minutes, and I'm sure everyone would love to hear this."
"Well," he looked at Marik, "See, this old lady Mrs. Peggy. She was really mean to us. And so we decided to playfully put a curse on her... But we didn't know it would cause her to go sex crazy and terrorize the city."
Marik pumped his fist in the air, "It would have been so cool!!! If... she hadn't gone after us next. But we did find the reverse spell and changed her back to normal. Needless to say, she'll never speak to us again... but we all must make sacrifices."
"..." Bill shortly came out of his daze, "Uh... Anyway. Marik, did you really shoot someone with an arrow?"
"It was only Yami. And besides, it wasn't a real arrow... it was part of the Opposite Sex Machine, me and Malik ordered."
Malik looked at him, "What do you mean we? I did no such thing, I told you not to order things from that website!"
"Where else do ya get a Opposite Sex Machine? E-bay?!"
"Well, you could have-"
"Gentlemen!" Bill had to interrupt again, "Do you two always argue like this?"
"Yeah, sort of. It gives us something to do when we're bored." Marik sighed.
"But he always starts it."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not!"
"Do too!!"
Bill sighed, "Well, that's about all the time we have for tonight. Thank you Marik and Malik for joining us, and don't forget you can send me an email and get your Factor Gear at And remember, the spin stops here."