Consequence of Action
Disclaimer information: This is all meant in fun and not intended in any way for profit or gain. All characters belong to their proper copyrighted owners and I thank them for creating such memorable, compelling characters. This includes character creation(Kouta Hirano), the anime series and the manga series. If you have not seen the following website Solid & Etc located here (http:www5e.biglobe.ne.jp/solid/) you should get there as soon as you can. It is some of the most astonishing Hellsing inspired art I have ever seen. It is the Integra art on this site that inspired this little ficlet which was written over a lunch break. Reviews and feedback are welcome.
"Please state your name and occupation for the record."
"Sir Integral Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, Director of the Hellsing Organization, in service to her majesty the Queen of England and the Commonwealth of England."
"Do you recall the evening of October 17 and the events that occurred?"
"Yes."
"You have been sworn in and are aware that your testimony at this point you have sworn to tell the absolute truth before the eyes of God and man."
"Yes."
"Lord Hellsing, there is no smoking allowed during these proceedings."
Integral tilted her head slightly by way of acknowledgement and put the thin cigarillo back into the pack.
The absolute truth before the eyes of God and man, Integral had almost snorted in disgust when she heard that. There was no absolute truth. Lately, she had begun to wonder about absolute faith. The core of which compelled her every day to seek out and destroy all things unholy and destroy in the name of the Lord, Amen. Destroy all unholy things, except for the morning of October 18. When she had seen the reports, the post strike crew analysis and what they contained.
"Would you repeat your earlier statement Lord Hellsing?"
Integral answered again, repeating what she had said time and time again. The sound of her voice did not sound like her own. The story fell from her lips again, and it sounded like some poorly written plot by an ill conceived foe. Except it had happened, and no matter what the conclusion of the council was, the truth of the matter was, she had ordered the death of innocent civilians. Children, families, even their pets apparently.
She wondered how she had come to this place. Her mission was very clear: Destroy the undead scourge that threatened her beloved homeland, protect the innocents from the horror of the unholy. How had the focus on the one become the sole thing she was sure of above all others? In the course of her life, she had sometimes questioned the means that they used. Not least of which was the soulless creature that was bound to her, Alucard. He had no qualms about the search and destroy dictate she had given him. Had she given him carte blanche to kill innocents with no consideration? She had, she knew she had. How often had he told her that he was the monster, the loaded gun, the unsheathed sword, but she was the energy that propelled his lethal final strike? Her will gave him motion to destroy those that stood in the way of her holy mission. She had never doubted her will before now.
"Do you believe yourself to be above the laws of man and God Lord Hellsing?"
She paused, she had no answer. If they had asked her before this incident, how could she minimize the loss of life as just an incident...She gazed back at the man who had asked the question, if they had asked her before, the answer would have been quick and sure. Now, it was a question she had asked herself everyday. What right did she have to so cavalierly issue a command that would cost the life of a child, much less an entire town full of them? What powers of divine intuition had she been blessed with? None, as it turned out, none at all. She was but human and oh so fallible. Her commanders had said it was not her sole responsibility to bear, that the intelligence was bad, that the error was caused by a series of unfortunate events and the result was tragic but could be overcome.
Overcome how? That was the question she asked herself every day when she awoke. Human beings were resilient, yes, but she had to look in the mirror every morning and know that a bureaucratic murderer gazed back at her. An oversight in paperwork caused your death Mr Citizen, please accept our sincere apologies.
"No, no I do not believe myself to be above those laws. I believed, at one time, that certain liberties, especially within the context of the laws of man, if exercised with great discretion could be taken to achieve the end goal."
"You have no explanation for the failure to obtain additional information before executing your final command?"
She turned her gaze to her new inquisitor. What explanation could she give? The endless stream of battles before that date, the fact that she had barely slept in the two weeks leading up to that date, the dearth of information and reports and briefings and how everything pointed to eradicate the village. What could she have stopped and asked? Are you sure they are not human? Ghouls all started as humans, so did the FREAKS, even serial killers started in this world as someone's infant. Was it even her final command? She was sure there were commands she issued after that, confident, arrogant even, in her knowledge that she was stopping the ebb of evil from extending on the shores of her hallowed homeland.
She shook her head by way of response.
"Lord Hellsing, would you like a moment before we continue?" The chairman of the council asked, his tone almost compassionate.
Integral almost shook her head again but realized how incredibly tired she felt. A moment outside, she could smoke and perhaps ask for a cup of tea as well. It might be enough to finish the stream of questions that remained. They hadn't even gotten to the pictures, the testament to her failing.
"Thank you, a moment outside, with a cup of tea if it is not too much of a bother would suffice." She replied.
The chairman nodded to the guards stationed by the door, who moved towards the woman sitting in front of the table of questioners. One spoke softly into his wrist, presumably to ask for the tea to be bought outside in the tiny enclosed courtyard.
"Then we will take a brief 10 minute recess and reconvene at 2:50 exactly." The chairman said as he watched the woman whose wrath he had faced more than once, walk docilely out between her escorts.
When she left the room, the murmurs of the others began to rise. Each one of them had experience with dealing with the proud head of the Hellsing Organization. The chairman did not join in, while some took pleasure in her apparent fall from grace, he had seen the look in her eyes. No matter what they decided, and the worse they could do was strip her of her rank and title, possibly close the doors to the Hellsing Organization, he suspected it would barely touch upon the punishment she would inflict upon herself. His own experience in these matters was always, even if she was made an example of, which some clamored for, more for vengeance on their own petty agendas than for actual compensation for her actions, was that there would be another organization that would be given the same charter. He did not believe it was inevitable that such a mistake could not be made again, and honestly, the fact that this was the first such 'collateral damage', in the 20 some years since Integral Hellsing had taken over the Hellsing Organization, was a testament to the woman's impeccable self control. The Queen herself was not terribly pre-disposed to strip Lord Hellsing of her rank or her organization after the last time political machinations had led her to that action only to be discovered as an elaborate set up.
Integral sipped her tea and gazed at the unusually stark courtyard. It was rare to find a courtyard without a garden; such was the pride of the English in their gardens.
Walter she knew, despite his claims otherwise, was running his own investigation; trying to gain more information, he believed that someone, probably someone within their own ranks, had deliberately fed misinformation to the commanders. He would want to prove the fallibility of the system, not the woman. The motivation was well intentioned but no matter the result, the mantle of deaths weighed heavily on her shoulders.
She drew on her cigarillo, feeling her eyes burn slightly as the smoke drifted back towards her. She had long ago accepted the responsibility of her name and the charter that came with it. She had no siblings, and at current no heir apparent. Would she leave this to anyone else? Her life was such that she had only wondered, in the darkest night, within her deepest heart, what her life might have been if she had not been born a Hellsing. What if she had grown up with a mother and a father? They would likely still be alive. What would that life look like? A flat comfortably furnished, a bookshelf overflowing with books that didn't all focus on the occult, the arcane, the myths and legends of the undead. Would she work at some office, perhaps as a project manager, worried instead about making deadlines for bottom lines and not if actual lives were at stake. A phone that didn't have the Royal household on speed dial, instead her family, friends, for making plans for an evening out. Would she have friends? Would she have a cat, a dog that ate kibble instead of an undead monster that had to be fed blood?
She exhaled, she would never know, because that life did not exist for her. It would never exist for her because she had been born a Hellsing, she was Master of the monster, and she knew far too much about the evil that hid beneath the surface.
"Lord Hellsing?" The officer that had walked out with her indicated it was time to return inside.
She put the cigarillo out and nodded. She did not know how she would wrestle with her weakening faith, and she suspected if the day were ever to come to meet her maker, then there would be questions she would have. It was not the divine's responsibility to manage her affairs, for she had exercised her own free will and had been wrong. That was the consequence of making a choice. For ever action, there is a result, these results had surprised her. It was a not very subtle reminder that she was but human.
For now, she was Lord Integral Hellsing, Director of the Hellsing Organization. There was blood of innocents on her hands and she wasn't sure if or how she would ever wash the stain away. The greater disservice to those that had died would be if she gave up the fight against evil. If they had died in vain and she cowered away with her tail between her legs. Perhaps the lesson learned from all this was sometimes, she would need support from outside her own organization. She made a mental note to herself to speak with Walter when she returned, there could be agreements reached with other organizations, cross referencing data so that such a mistake occurring again could be minimized.
She still had a job to do.